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[22 Feb 2002|10:54pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Amanda Marshall - Why Don't You Love Me ] HAHAHAH!!!! I'm doing a quiz on Smarter Child there.. ahahahahaa.d.a fkjshdflskjf sd.. anna kournkivoka. just kinda.. yeah. haha. SmarterChild: What was the first virus named after a tennis player? 1 Steffi Graf 2 Pete Sampras 3 Anna Kournikova 4 Andre Agassi just adores me.

[22 Feb 2002|02:16am] [ mood | infuriated ] [ music | the juliana theory - emotion is dead - 13 - emotion ] reading this too eh. fuck you. FUCK YOU. you KNEW i didnt want you coming to my site. So please do my a favor and fuck off. dont look at me, dont tlak to me, when im ready to talk to you i will talk. and until then, lick my eyeballs, fucker. 2 humans| just adores me.

[21 Feb 2002|02:47pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | QUEERS - 03 HighSchoolPsycho.mp ] I need 10 reasons why it is better to wait until your older to get married. COME ON PEOPLE! THINK! Get those creative minds working!!! 1 human| just adores me.

jyqwgerjfashf FUCKERS. cock sucking son of a bitch. [19 Feb 2002|09:58pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | The Juliana Theory - Show me the money ] I can never seem to remember this, so I will write it in here. I AM ON THE RAG. Hah. Please forgive my forgetfulness. I am frustrated. twenty two fucking days. JUST in time for curling too. THATS MY KINDA SCHEDUAL. God? I hate you. Satan, expect me to convert any time soon. i'm in one of those one more thing and ima go byebye moods. i love these moods. 4 humans| just adores me.

[19 Feb 2002|05:29pm] [ mood | ditzy ] [ music | Scratching Post - Rock Past It ] Your a lesbian. And you.. you over there.. so are you. YOUR ALL LESBIANS! says: unless i was like, um, going out with them and um, we were getting it on or something Your a lesbian. And you.. you over there.. so are you. YOUR ALL LESBIANS! says: lol ‡ go team craig ‡ says: hmmm... ‡ go team craig ‡ says: i dont think that would happen Your a lesbian. And you.. you over there.. so are you. YOUR ALL LESBIANS! says: um. Your a lesbian. And you.. you over there.. so are you. YOUR ALL LESBIANS! says: i am eventually going to have sex. rofl HAHHAAHH. that was gay. just adores me.

AHH!! Today is boob day. Or lack thereof. But THATS OK! [19 Feb 2002|05:19pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Our Lady Peace - Automatic Flowers ] Come on Eileen! KASDAJKSHDLAJK! I've had to sneeze for the past like, 4 minutes, and it just, I can't sneeze! It is driving me insane. Each day I love my history teacher more and more. HES SO FREAKING COOL. Like, one of the best teachers I've EVER had. That class is so much fun. Yay. Tomorrow, I have my curling playoffs. I am going to bring my camera, and share with you our losses.. so you can see how pathetic we are. It will be much fun. And then... then.. I HAVE MY WINTER FUN DAY THINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anddd.. I'm going CURLING!!! DUDE! hahahahhaar jsdhfalkjherdfhhahahha. Todays survey was great fun. Some guy said that he could see down my shirt, and me being the easily embarassed person that I am, turned it alll around and well, yeah. I handle things so well. I just pulled me shirt down.. like the collar.. so they could see even more and I was like "Derek, there is nothing there to show" and hes like "Yeah there is" and so I was like no, and he said I was flashing everyone, and so I was like wtf no, and I went around and I was asking everyone if I was flashing them.. mostly girls.. but yeah. It was PRICELESS. EVeryone was laughing so hard.. hah. hhaha. and then like, I know that I am lacking in the boob department, not that I care, but I was like, I have nothing, and I called my friend Erin over and I got her to stand next to me facing everyone and I did the Barker Beauties thing saying "See, Erin has boobs. I don't." because Erin has boutiful bosoms and.. yeah. It was just priceless. Sometimes I make myself wonder. I'm weird. I scare me. But then.. yeah. And since history is third period, we all talked about it, and my teacher heard the whole story. holy crap. i was just like, taking a new cam still thinger.. and like, just the way the light is hitting me and my chest.. it looks even BIGGER than the red dollly parton things. I feel like a d cup. wow. today is boob day. I'm willing to flash you *nudge nudge*. I am so freaking hyper. HYPER! CULRING PLAYOFFS TOMORROWWWW!!! AND OH MY GOD!!! I JUST PUT AN EGG IN VINEGAR! AND THEN IT ALl STARTED BUBBLING WITH LITTLE BUBBLE DUDES! MEANING A CHEMICAL REACTION WAS TAKING PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud. OK! English homework here I come! I am in the mood to write! WRITE WRITE WRIT! just adores me.

[19 Feb 2002|12:15am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | The Aquabats - Red Sweater! ] I HAVE A COUNTER IN HERE! I HAVE A COUNTER! I am a freak. I need a counter in my counter. I wonder if that is possible. I wish they had a link counter. that would be cool. i am such a psycho. 2 humans| just adores me.

[18 Feb 2002|07:54pm] [ mood | envious ] [ music | Supertramp - Child Of Vision ] I'm not having a super night. I have homework to do still and my ears are bothering me. Argh. Make me mad. I am feeling rather lazy so here. i am copying todays blog here so yeah. enjoy. You know what? I think that you should make up your fucking mind and start treating me like a person and not a doll or something likewise with no feelings. Either make up your mind and talk to me, or don't. Everytime I see you, i hurt a little bit because I can't stand not knowing what you think. I have hints, courtesy of tools.. and other tools I could have but don't. Oh, the confusion. My head is clouded with memories, future possibilities, and the present happenings that are attacking my brain, again and again.. and they don't seem to be letting up. Nothing seems to be letting up. I dont know what to do. I need someone by my site to help me through this.. but consistency? Does it exist? Can you show any sort of pattern to let me know that I do mean something to you and your not just using me? Because that's all I feel; that I am just a tool that you use to please yourself when needed. I refuse to do that. I will not be a pawn in your game. These are the things that make me free I feel like I'm stuck in "stand by me" This night was too good to be true. Oh how I wish I had taken the advice of everyone else. I knew you would hurt me in the end and yet I fell into your bottomless pit of tantalizing lies and incandescent affection. My tea is too strong. My emotions change like the wind. I can't stay angry. Everything in the end transforms to sadness. I'm just having a bad night. Somebody talk to me. just adores me.

[17 Feb 2002|08:31pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Weezer - Track 9 ] What's Your Style? Find out @ She's Crafty wow. I used to be such like, a makeup hound.. but now, its like, no. I used to never be abe to walk out the door if i didn't have anything on, but im proud to say that now i dont even think about it! :o) GOOGLEWHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 human| just adores me.

[17 Feb 2002|12:38am] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | Sum 41 - 13 - All Killer No Filler - Pain for Pleasure ] What is YOUR Highschool label? just adores me.

I WANT TO BE CORNERED! [16 Feb 2002|10:31pm] [ mood | predatory ] [ music | Music From Another Room - Piano Song ] Do you think that you can corner me in a debate? PLEASE IM ME! OR E-MAIL ME! OR SOMETHING!! I need like, some sort of good challenge. I love debating. I just, need someone intelligent to fight with. Anyone? just adores me.

oh.. one last note before i conk out. [16 Feb 2002|06:25pm] i think im on my death bed. you know, those damn NyQuil people. i dont understand. first they say for adults (ages 12 and up) to take 2 pills. so, i say to myself, i'm over 12 so i take two. now, considering that i have the flu, i have no strength and the strength that i did have i used to walk to the kitchen to get these green pills of death. i reach towards them.. and i notice that they are wrapped ever so nicely. i think "aww how pretty" and i proceed to try and pop them out. oh no. they trick you there. it may LOOK like they are pop-poutabble but they certainly aren't. maybe to an olympic body builder, but not to a run down 15 year old teenager that has no power to begin with. so.. then i notice the little rip thing in the "plastic". i think "ooh. even better. just rip it open and im freeeee. no way. of course not. i have to rip through cardboard that is 5mm think and plastic that must have been reinforced with steel. after a while of tugging, swearing, and biting i finally get these pills out of their locked cell. take with water. so, i went, got a glass of water, popped them both in ans swalled them at the same time. YES! MISSION COMPLETE! mission. is that how its spelled? im still disoriented. i never sleep unless i to go bed really late. and even if im sick, in the past i would go to bed early, wake up late, and never take a nap because i wasnt that tired. well, of course, the nyquil had other plans. i guess they forgot to tell me that it is for adults 20+ or obese children. so then. i search for nyquil on google and what do i find? someone else agrees with me.. that this is the antichrist of medicines. ANTIHISTAMINE/ COUGH SUPPRESANT / PAIN RELIEVER / NASAL DECONGESTANT / FUEL SUPPLEMENT /NUCLEAR BYPRODUCT / HEMLOCK / FEVER REDUCER / LIQUID CRACK / LAST RESORT FOR COLD & FLU THE NIGHTTIME, SNIFFLING, SNEEZING, COUGHING, ACHING, STUFFY HEAD, FEVER, WHERE THE HELL AM I, WHERE’S MY FACE, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, WHY IS THE SKY GREEN, LOOK THE WALL’S TALKING, HIGH AS A KITE, DEATH IN A BOTTLE, TAKE MY KEYS, PLEASE SHOOT ME, WHY IS THE CARPET GROWING, I AM THE LIZARD KING, YOU MEAN THIS STUFF IS LEGAL? MEDICINE. when i read that i laughed, of course sending a surge of pain through my body and making my head spin more than a merry-go-round.. but thats ok because it lifted my aching heart. thats literal, of course. i have the chills. my back hurts. i have so much english homework to do it isnt even funny. i was hoping i could relax on m futon with my keyboard and mouse, and do my english homework as i have 25 mini assignments to complete.. but of course i have to sleep all day. i never sleep all day. nyquil, you bastard. 1 human| just adores me.

Satanism. Nice. [15 Feb 2002|11:21pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Don Henley - Not Enough Love in the World ] There is no one way that a Satanist is "supposed" to be. Uniqueness and creativity are encouraged here, not mindless conformity. It doesn't matter what kind of music you like to listen to; it doesn't make any difference whether you prefer gothic music, black metal music, classical music, old popular tunes, or show tunes. It doesn't matter what style of clothes you like to wear. What does matter is that you are a mature, sensitive, self-aware individualist who revels in the Darkness, and who wishes to align yourself with others who share your views. In this world of prefabricated, media-saturated, unoriginal drones, it is up to the Satanist to cherish, maintain, and preserve true individuality and creativity. Satan represents freedom from hypocrisy, from convenient lies, and challenges that which is presumed to be true. He is strong and defiant, and inspires us to our own strengths. i think im in love. god i hate christianity. haha. rofl. ROFL. thats funny. god i hate christianity.. get it? GET IT? i have the flu. im dying. just adores me.

[15 Feb 2002|03:44pm] [ mood | energetic ] [ music | Nintendo - Donkey Kong 64 - DK Rap ] Oh it was so funny today in civics.. ahh.. hah. *ahem* my teacher is super cool. im all talking and stuff.. and that class, im just, open and loud and stuff. no one really scares my in there besides this one chick named dayna. anyway, were all like, talking and stuff, and it was like, funny, cause my teacher just asked like, if one of us would dance in front of the class for him to cancel like a big project we'd do.. and then my friend brought up the fact that last semester they could do in partners and i started singing celine dions "all my myself" and then my best friend jess joined in and yeah we only sang like "all my myself, dont wanna be all myself anymore" and my teacher started laughing.. and then like, i dunno, i just had the song stuck in my head and i started um. "doing my work" kinda like.. uh, doodling.. and i was just singing the song and he was sitting on a desk just staring at me.. oh it was so funny. all of a sudden like, my friends started laughing and he burst out laughing. i didnt even realize that i was singing. haha. im such a fuck. well, i going to see CROSSROADS TONIGHT!! haha.. and im bringing my camera to take pictures of all the 9 year olds. yep. ha. *ahem* ok so yeah. i am like, so straight!!! ban saying something is gay! EVERYTHING STRAIGHT! i was saying like "Miss, you are SO straight" to teachers and stuff.. and like, NO ONE was getting it. sheeeeeeeeesssshhhhhhh!! people these days. THE HOCKEY GAME IS ON TONIGHT AND I AM GOING TO MISS IT!! :o( i am sad. i might tape it though because i dont wanna like, not see it know what i mean? oh god. OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I AM GOING TO SUBMERGE MYSELF TO THIS. i havent watched it yet, but like, all i remember from last time i saw it was "momma.. its me.. lucy" *barf* just adores me.

[14 Feb 2002|11:37pm] oh god i hate lying. just adores me.

valentines day sucks moose ballssss [14 Feb 2002|04:22pm] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | Original Broadway Cast - The Crime of the Century ] I hate valentines day. The only good thing about today was when i made my teacher laugh her ass off due to a picture i made her. I can't wait for part two to come out. i think. i think that, on valentines day, i have finally realized my love.. or should i saw.. lack of it. ah, all this love everywhere has just confused me. i'm always confused. I've noticed that. Anyway. did i sent the candy gram? i don't know.. did i? am i torturing you? thats the way its got to be, from now on. ... ah.! ruined at the age of 15!! booo hooo.. your honour we find.. harry is not guity cause harry is out of his mind! ahhh!! I LOVE MUSICALS!!!!!!!!!!!! crime of the century..........! now i'm the girl on the swing! just adores me.

[13 Feb 2002|04:49pm] Love Me Not created by callmemaeve. just adores me.

[13 Feb 2002|04:36pm] 1.Do you like having your picture taken? Sometimes. 2.Have you ever done a photo shoot, professional or non? YESSSSS! 3.If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why? Australia, because its far away and sounds snazzy. 4.Who would you take with you on this little adventure? Dernoo 5.What would you say is the most daring thing to do in a lifetime? Kill yourself. 6.Would you ever do that? Sure thing. 7.Have you ever done crossword puzzles? Tried.. 8.Ever actually completed one? No 9.Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it. haha. Fibers are thin, hairlike strands of material that can be spun into thread or yarn. HAHA. ROFL. What a sentence. It's my science textbook. 10.Do the same with a lyric from either a cd or the radio. Di viverai la vita, piu che puoi. Um. yeah. Piu Che Puoi - Eros Ramazotti and Cher.. its on winamp. ( Read more... ) just adores me.

[13 Feb 2002|02:44pm] XxXoticBlasphemy: shewww LOL l miSs jO l: oh my god this page is so funny! LMAO XxXoticBlasphemy: how you've changed .gone from cows to tennis players. haha l miSs jO l: rofl l miSs jO l: roflmao l miSs jO l: LMAO 2 humans| just adores me.

Wow. [13 Feb 2002|12:12pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Scratching Post - Unforgiving Love ] Dude. what a piss off. I could have been an early adopter. I WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EARLY ADOPTERRR! But I changed my LJ account name. Grr. But, I did feel like going to read my OLD lj. It was exactly a year ago when I was writing the things I have written in there. Rofl. Last year, around this time. This is what I wrote yesterday last year. hah. Saturday, February 10th, 2001 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12:57 pm - Humm Well, i have given up. I hate to admit it but i have given up on that one person that means the world to me. I know, i know, i'm not one to giv eup and never have been, but i can't take it anymore. It is affecting me in a horrible way. horrible awful icky yucky. grrr. i can't take it anymore because it makes me so depressed and every time i see their face, i just die inside, knowing all this stuff, and all this other shit. I know, i'm not going into specifics. i dont' feel like it. It's a general statement. Just the fact that i am constantly depressed by the person that makes me happy. Doesn't make sense eh? Well its screwed up. That's why i'm in such a fucking rut. They make me depressed, and hurt me, over, and over. And yet, when i see them, it makes me estatic. grr. i just cant win. so i am going to give up my happiness. i know, i should savour all of my happiness, since i hardly ever am happy, and the REASON i have been happy fer these past few months was this person, but i dont need any added depression. So i will probably go through a phase of *pure* depression but i think it might get better after this. I hope. If it doens't i'm digging a hole into the ground and i know things with this person will never be the same so its kind of a lose-lose situation for a while, but then it might be win-lose. No matter what i do there will always mbe many many bad things that happen, but i might as well risk it all. why not? current mood: depressed current music: Crazy - K-Ci and Jo-Jo It's interesting to see now, a year (and a day) later.. how true that was. And how it still is kind of effecting me. Oh well. And.. you know how many times I "gave up" on that person.. and then my faith was restored my faith again..? i cant count. Over and Over and Over. And I always will. I wish I coulda just ended it then.. but I would have lost an amazing relationship. Gotta take the bad with the good. just adores me.

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