Who did it? Who let my mother buy a karaoke machine? Who fucking did it?

My mother is currently downstairs squawking away terribly to 'My Heart Will Go On' and its so horrible I could cry. I hate it when she sings, especially gross songs like 'My F**king Heart Will Go On'. To make matters worse, she stole my television set for it. The nice big 27-inch I took from grandpa's flat to use when I move downstairs. I was going to build a nice stand for it and everything. She says I won't get it back because I haven't used it yet, but Jae has also been an absolute asshole and not given me the downstairs bedroom (it was supposed to be mine when he graduated).

I want to smash that machine to tiny bits and pieces with a golf club so it will never play anything ever again unless it involves me pretending to be Bridget Jones in which the machine is not an absolute evil.

Anyway, my weekend was nifty. It started with Alison and I going to Out and Proud Youth where we looked at comics about men sucking themselves off while being fisted and other such things that aren't humanly possible. The rennovations at Gay and Lesbian Health Services look very nice, and I was extremely, extremely pleased to hear that Julie has been going to high schools to work on getting more gay awareness and safety put around. She's heading for the Catholic schools next, and I pretty much begged her to come to Holy Cross first. After chatting for a bit we watched Heavenly Creatres, a film that I haven't seen since I visited Rachelle in summer 2002. It was beautiful, I love that movie so much. I really wish I owned it.

I also met the notorious lube-eating dog, Bear. It went for the lube shelf again but did not succeed. Nifty dog indeed.

Afterwards we went to VHQ and Alison spent $9.00 on the most terrible movies we could find: 'From Justin to Kelly', 'Mary-Kate and Ashley's Favourite Parties' and 'The Lizzie McGuire Movie'. I used to think that Walt Disney's 'Big Red' was the worst movie of all time, but I was so horribly, horribly mistaken after seeing 'Justin to Kelly'. The acting was terrible, the 'plot' moved to fast and I swear to god the entire film was written, directed, and produced by a pair of crack-smoking chimps. There were so many plot-holes I couldn't begin. It made me want to cry.
'Favourite Parties' is simply a given. It sucked, though I must say that the girl with the tumour-tits in 'Costume Party' intrigued me. Every time she scrunched her face, hands and said 'cute boys! Cute boys!' one or two ugly members of the male species would walk by, ignoring her completely. That made me happy.
'Lizzie McGuire' wasn't nearly as terrible as I expected. Needless to say, I'd never watch it again, but in all honesty I tolerated it and didn't fall asleep even once. I had a constant sympathy for Gordo throughout but when Lizzie finally 'kissed' him, I sort of felt like barfing. It didn't seem right. Not that I cared for more than a minute. Lizzie McGuire can suck my brother's left nut. Poor Gordo.

The next morning Alison and I slept in before Alison went upstairs and made the toilet overflow all over the place. We then got a lift with my mother to Zellers Restaurant so Anne could feed us breakfast. There were two annoying shitlings in the booth behind me who kept jumping up and down, so I farted a whoopee cushion in their faces. This resulted in much laughter and an 'again! Again!' as though they were watching fucking Teletubbies. I farted at them some more until their father took them away. The whoopee cushion made many old ladies laugh and many old ladies grumble. Breakfast was good.

Later in the evening we went to the 'Rodeo' at Sask Place with the tickets CTV always gets for free. It was really quite boring and I kept yelping in horror whenever men on horses would strangle baby cows and tie their legs together. The cows would be yanked so high into the air before hitting the ground in an odd fashion with the rope still attached to the horse. They men would race over to them, pound them down and tie three of their legs together. Sometimes the horse would walk backwards with the cow still attached, so it would be dragged along the ground by its neck. It was absolutely awful. I hadn't been to a rodeo in a long time and forgot about that event. Its what made me a vegetarian for two years, and I still won't eat beef (I've hated the taste of it my whole life and I've yet to eat a burger. Gross, man). At least I'm no longer a PETA-nazi.

So yes. Alison and I also made plans for Hallowe'en costumes. I had originally planned to go as Hermione again, but realised that it wouldn't work as its to be -7°C (19°F) and snowy on Hallowe'en. My knees turned blue within an hour of being out, lazy year. Anyway, I'm still going to wear Hermione to school, but will be doing something more practical for Trick-Or-Treating. Alison and I are going to go as our male counterparts in beggar/bum form. Alison will be Alastor Alister and I will be Nicholas (a variation of my middle name, Nicole, as its difficult to make a boys' name out of Brittany) and we will have fake beards and carry harmonicas. Not only will we look super-cool, we'll be warm, with ugly jackets, hideous toques and woolly mittens which we will purchase from Value Village later this week.

Ungh, I still have a Macbeth essay to write and a French Revolution exam to study for. Toot toot.

P.S. My footstool is a million times more worthy than yours.



That is all.

( True or False results )

My 'step-sister' saw her boyfriend stabbed to death. I'm really quite blown away. Also that the photographer of the picture is currently in contact with my mother over some of the harassment cases I've been receiving at school. Its a small world.

Even more surprising is that the guy's ex-girlfriend is on LiveJournal. My dad's weird girlfriend has a daughter named Amy, my 'step-sister' (Dad and her mum have been together for a few years now, so that's why I say 'sister'. I don’t know what else to label her as). The dead guy is was Amy's boyfriend and a friend of my brother's. I didn't know him very well, but Jae seems pretty shaken up. His friends have a habit of dying. The fact that someone on LiveJournal could be an ex-girlfriend of the guy is what makes me love this server so much. Oh LiveJournal, you are something else. Small world after all.

What kind of fifteen-year-old stabs somebody?

I'm more annoyed that this would happen in my city. Its a city of 200 000 people in the middle of absofuckinglutely no-where Saskatchewan. Stuff like this just doesn't happen. Gyargh. My brain is exploding, I can't handle this. Move me to the Maritimes.

It appears I have some sort of flu ... unlike the rest of my family who were smart enough to go in for flu shots. I'm feeling stable for the moment as I just returned from filling the toilet with sick. I'm weak, but not heaving. Glory glory. I'm too out-of-it to do any homework. All there really is to do is sit and be sick.

Hrm, well. I'm going back to bed to watch Beaches. I should be kicked in the shin for it, but there was much discussion of it on yesterday's episode of Seinfeld and I couldn't resist the draw of Bette Midler.

No, my entries don't have much meaning lately.

Alas! My brain explodes!

Brian is alive. I almost lost him, but man, he's alive. I've been sick the last two days and can't be bothered to write more on this issue, so I'm basically posting to tell you I'm not dead.

Since I've been ill and nothing of interest has happened, I feel like copying Bryn in a 'True or False' survey of sorts for shits and giggles. I need something to keep me occupied that takes little or no brain power.

So without further ado, ( click here for some stuff to think about )

The end. I must go back to sleep and watch Larger Than Life because Bill Murray riding an elephant makes me hot.

Bow-chicka-bow-wow!

Today was so abnormally exciting I could blow up some balloons. My day of thrills started on the best note ever. I entered the school and had a random thought about all the people from last year who was no longer attending. One of the faces that crossed my mind was (removed to keep Holy Cross students from bitching at me), and I thought nothing more of it. While waiting to gain access to my English classroom, said person comes up to me with person number two and proclaims so the entire corridor can hear, 'Brittany, I know you hate gay people,' and walks away. I was rather stunned and said a lot of gibberish as people came up to me and said stuff I really can't remember. All I really remember is saying 'What the fuck?' and then sort of walking in circles.

Me. A homophobe. A person who's uncle is the current cover-boy for Capital-X, a gay newspaper in Ottawa. A person who spends 90% of her free time concentrating on supporting gay rights. A person who is trying to get over the habit of kicking people in the balls every time they use 'fag' out-of-context. A freaking gay person themselves! Person number two mentioned my site some more and that person one had learned how much I hate gay people through looking at it. Person number one needs to learn how to read - my sites bleed faggotry.



The rest of the morning was pretty average. Watched some Macbeth with a bunch of naked witches and a nude Macduff's son. Not much happened until period four, when Boots and I were to go to a grade nine classroom and have them fill out a survey on various issues they find are important. I didn't expect many people to check-off 'homophobia', but I must say that I was rather surprised. And in a class of about 20 students, one of them filled in the blank space with 'same-sex relationships' and another with 'Being Gay'. Oh man, I love anonymous surveys. I literally squealed with glee at the results. Not that these kids are likely up for a similar hell to what I had to deal with, but because they are solid proof that cross has gay kids and thus give me a go-ahead to be able to do more about it.

I was in their place exactly a year ago. I filled out the same survey and no one did anything with it. Now that I'm a member of the 'Youth Action Circle', I'm going to bring it up and attempt to do something with it.

I'm rambling, I am, but I'm excited. 10% of the classroom I visited is concerned with the possibility of being gay themselves, further-confirming that 10% of the population is gay, meaning that there are approximately 110 gay students at Holy Cross High School. And I can't start a GSA why?

The dog has some sort of anal infection. Yes mother, I care.

... and Brian is being fixed tomorrow. Everyone is pissed off with me using this computer. Procrastination does pay off.

EDIT: Mr McGettigan has said he'd clear me so I can go visit snow_nari when she comes in from Edmonton with her band. Foetuses aside, he's difficult to complain about.

Happy Thanksgiving (Brian is still dead). Enjoy your turkey and the terrifying CTV segments with the turkeys hopping and gobbling all over the CTV logo.

I PMSed myself silly last night and had a dream where Dad killed himself by being hurled off a roof where he landed in the snow and his neck was bent at a weird angle and dear God it was frightening. He was wearing his ugly brown toque, too.

As for the PMS, I've never had PMS in my life. I've been somewhat moody, but never PMSy. PMS is a frightening thing, folks. I kept walking in to things and then got angry with Mum. I made angry faces at her in the kitchen and then dropped to the floor. From there I felt terribly guilty and just started sobbing. She carried me to my bedroom where I shouted angrily about how fucking insane Mr McGettigan has become, and then cried about it. Mum kept leaving the room and every time she returned, I'd start crying again. Oh yes, it was quite terrifying.

And yes, Mr McGettigan is losing his mind. He's gone absolutely mad. His priorities last year went Family -> Band -> Pro-Life. Now it seems to be Pro-Life -> Family -> Band. I can't handle that, I really can't. He's using his position as teacher to waste our playing time to rant to us about foetuses. Its bad enough that he ended up giving that 2% to the people who went to the rally, but now he wastes our time using the upcoming elections for mayor to preach. 'If any candidates come to your door, ask them and make sure they're pro-life! Don't let your parents vote for them if they aren't pro-life!' What the hell? Is he on drugs? Its scary, really. The only reason I attend Holy Cross is because of the band programme. Lately even that seems to be making me miserable. I'm sick and tired of feeling like a bad person because I don't believe in the 'rights' of a piece of tissue. I shut up during Mr McGettigan's rants and pretend I'm not picturing choking the life out of him, but I feel I have every right to be pissed off when he's wasted forty minutes of our playing time to talk about something that has absolutely nothing to do with musical education.

He never used to be like this. It was only after his wife had a baby that he went nuts on our asses. I miss the days when Seamus McGettigan didn't exist. Ooh, I'm a selfish cunt for that one.

So I sobbed all PMSy after I made a similar rant to my mother about how Mr McGettigan is a friend and I feel like shit for being so angry with a friend. It was also the first time ever when I could not relate the situation to Harry Potter. I came close thinking about how Harry didn't agree with Umbitch, but they weren't ever friends. Also when Hagrid guilted Harry into doing dangerous things, but that was all extra-curricular. I cried about this as well. I also cried about spending my thirty dollars on things I never intended to buy, and missed out on stuff I had been saving up for. Then I got angry about how stupid and useless I am, and shouted about all of my faults.

Dear God,

Let me never experience a bout of PMS again. Never.

Your pal,
Britt

The day after PMS feels oddly like a hangover would.

Day 6

Computer: Still broken
Status on fixing: 0% - I refuse to repair it until my bedroom is clean.
Crocheting: 25% - I think I made ten or so wristbands/warmers and have started on a really ugly brown purse.
Leisue reading: 15% - Read an entire Harry Potter novel.
Food: 0% - I'm remaining geeky by feeding off of chicken fried rice from 'Auntie Jane's Canadian and Chinese Cuisine' just past the lake.
Drink: 100% - I had Chocolate milk. This would normally qualify as geeky were it not for the fact that I took the time to make it. Homogenised Milk + Nesquik = work. Oh God.
Clothing: 40-60% - Its Saturday and I'm dressed. I'm considering going to the mall.
The Good: I'm getting really kickass maths grades. The highest I've ever had on a maths exam is 84%. I made 94% last week, highest in class (yesssss!).
The Bad: I'm really sick of this shitty computer and attempted life.
Summary: Cheese Whiz when fed to a rat is like giving the poor creature crack. I should treat Wormtail to this more often.

Oh yes. $29 on Ebay as opposed to $70 at that-shop-everyone-talks-about is glorious. Honestly, my mum and her brothers grew up wearing Cons because they were cheap. The very idea of paying Seventy-fucking-dollars for shoes that are, well, crap makes me cringe involuntarily. I love Cons to death and I refuse to wear anything else so long as I live, but they're literally pieces of crap. I bought my first pair at the end of July, and the back of the insides already sport holes, the siding is loose, and the heel-tag is peeling.

*loffs shoes and her stepdad's new job as a CHOCOLATE SALESMAN*

Anyway, in the United States it be National Coming Out Day. I have decided to 'come out' as a fan of the Weather Network and 'Teen Angel'. For this I deserve a paddling, but then again perhaps not. I'd come out as a lesbian, but that's old news. I'll just flaunt my gayness.

::insert picture of Britt flaunting::

All done.

I snuck up on Jae and stuffed a condom in his pocket while he was talking to Mum. Really fucking hilarious. Mum demanded to know where I would obtain such an item, and in all honesty, I got it from Jae. I didn't tell her this, I just ... casually left the room. Bwahaha. Speaking of contraceptives, did I mention I'm on birth control? Ah, painful periods no more! It’s so glorious. One more reason for the Church to send me to hell.

Mum and Dennis are out at a wedding in North Battleford, so Jae and I are home alone. Jae went to an Air Cadet meeting last night with Shane Meggs and told me he'd be home in three hours. The bastard didn't come home until 12:30. Though I was heavily annoyed, his excuse won me over. He and the other Sergeants and Warrant Officers stopped by Emmanuel Baptist Church to chuck eggs at their brand new travel bus. I am normally opposed to the destruction of anything, even a Baptist bus, but this bus was purchased to take them to various pro-Republican anti-gay/abortion/etc rallies, so I say 'full steam ahead'. I wish I could have been there. Its such an ugly bus.

Anyway, Jae didn't come home and I was bored out of my mind. lufavain called and we didn't say much. I stopped to tackle the dog who ended up scratching me viciously and leaving these tentacle-like welts on my left arm, much like Ron at the end of book five. After we hung up, I picked up Order of the Phoenix and read it. I finished about an hour ago. It’s a terrible book, horrible to read. I always cry during 'The Lost Prophecy' and have difficulty getting through it. I keep flipping back the pages to re-read Harry's lines and it just rips me apart. I still need to post my book 5 report, but Brian is alas, still dead.

Mum left me twenty dollars plus ten dollars in weekly pocket change. I think I'll go to the mall and buy ... beads or earrings or ... something. Oh God, what's happening to me?

Day 2

Computer: Still broken
Status on fixing: 0% - I have not been able to get a hold of the repair people.
Crocheting: 0% - no ambition
Leisue reading: 2% - Began reading 'Monty Python's All New Paperback' published sometime during the 1970's. It contains many mentionings off farts and masturbation.
Food: 0% - No full meals as of yet. I have not sunk so low. Geek food does lose its appeal without a computer, but I shall not speak of it any longer.
Drink: 15% - I caved and had a glass of orange juice.
Clothing: 20% - Although there was no school today, I still got dressed. Oh, its taking a toll, yes indeed.
The Good: I'm getting outside and even filled out an application form for Zellers.
The Bad: Its wanting to grow on me.
Summary: I slept for a long time and went to the bookmobile with lufavain. We also wandered the mall and ate ice cream and studied for a quiz. I spent money on things I should not have, though passed on a hair cut as I only had $5. Since when were they so expensive?

You begin to not make sense and tend to use random percentages when your computer is in peril.

EDIT: America, I am never going to forgive you for this. Mr Bush, I am farting in your general direction. Mmm, tasty. I want to make a shirt to wear on October 11 (or 10th, as the 11th is a Saturday) regardless of the fact that I am no citisen of the irritating 'country' below me with the nifty 237mL cans of Coke. See what I get done? Yes Mr Bush, yes!

EDIT 2: Wow, the shit hits the fan. What the fuck is wrong with the people down there? Is there something in the water than a small sum of you manage to avoid?

Yesterday I had a total Harry Potter moment (think Dumbledore's Office style), probably worse than Harry's, though with much less throwing. I was going to talk about that and go into much rantage about why I would have a reaction like that even though I was fully medicated, but something terrible happened when I sat down to write it.

My computer died. It sucks much ass. 800x600 and Windows 98 is not my cup of tea. Damn this computer, oh damn damn. His name be Sigmund Freud because he is full of shit, you see. I want my Brian the Pentium 4 Back.

I won't be around much until I can get him to the computer hospital. Yes, I hate it too. No, I don't know what the problem is. Let's just leave it at the fact that the bastard won't load Windows.

Dear Brian,

I know its a scary time for you. I'm frightened as well. This has never happened to you before, the whole damage ordeal. The workers at the computer hospital can be real know-it-all bastards, but I want you to know that I'll be pining and pissing myself for you every step of the way. You know I love you, don't you? Even though I sometimes curse you and smack you and stick nasty Post-Its to your face, I still care enough to show concern when you won't turn on.
Please be strong, computer. Be strong.

-Brittany

Oh, I think I'm going to cry. On the plus side, imagine the huge amounts of reading and crocheting I'll get done! Still ... Brian ... *weeps* This post calls for an angsty Return of the King icon.

Man, I just received the best guestbook replies in the universe. Only my guestbook would attract such stink. Holy crap, I think I'm going to soil myself.

hehehe u no me too!: Well about the page... it's great that you have a hobby... but about Harry Potter... I'm gonna let you in with a little secret... HES NOT REAL!!! And if you want to have any social status at school you should probably keep this stuff to yourself!!

I've totally seen the light, and its all thanks to this terribly written, extremely stupid, anonymous guestbook entry. My life has been forever changed, I'm not kidding. But wait, it continues ....

U No Me: u suck, u r a freak!!!!!!!!!!! Harry Potter is for babies, at least how obsest u r with it is!!!!!!

Babies can't read, though I imagine that this is how they type. Happy October, here's a present for you:



If there's one non-peer related thing I hate about school, its uncomfortable desks. I always get the bad desks. A lot of people like to slouch in their chairs, which permanently deforms the back of the seat, wears the bottom, and causes it all to come loose. Things were moved around in English on Wednesday, and I was very annoyed to find the curvy bit of the back trying to take a bite out of my spine, and a bolt on the seat jabbing my ass. The seat itself is also in a very poor location. I'm far from the board and shoved to the window (which is always open, even if it happens to be -10 C). Maths isn't much better; the whole back of the chair can be moved in all directions, its been slouched on so badly. Why must people slouch? We're always taught to sit up straight and stuff. I'm not denying a person the right to sit comfortably, but to have your feet so far forward that they piss off the person in front of you just annoys the hell out of me. I like to keep my feet planted either in front of me, or slightly under my seat (depending on the size of the desk). This is impossible, particularly in maths. I always end up booting the guy behind me (if you read this, boy from maths class, please refrain from sticking your feet where they shouldn't be. Please?) in an attempt to re-claim my foot space. Most would probably say 'What's the big deal, bitch? Its a freaking desk in school!' but to be honest, its much easier to listen and take notes without having your spine cricked in odd angles.

That ended up being about my peers anyway. I think I'm destined to be left-wing and anti-people for life, however that works.

I also dislike it when people talk to me for the sole purpose of letting me know that I suck, without actually saying it. This guy two lockers down (who probably reads this, and as I've said before, I don't like you) makes a point of speaking to me several times a day in an attempt to piss me off. He pulls my hair, and then falsely apologises. When I'm in a rush to get somewhere, he holds me back and says 'Gosh Brittany, don't you like me? I like you, why don't you like me?' Wow. Hilarious. Fucking hilarious. As you should have grasped by now, I'm simply not that dumb. When I say 'piss off,' I mean it. When I say I don't like you, I mean it. If you read this and plan on approaching me with more stupid 'I'm sorry, its just that blah blah blah,' forget it. I don't see any reason why I should have to tolerate this from anybody, which is precisely why I ignore it. Grrness.

Man, I will never understand why people enjoy doing this. Bullying is something you do in grade five and read about in Berenstain Bear books.

I need to go to Tim Horton's to buy doughnuts for jazz band tomorrow morning. I also need to make perverted posters to stick in the band office while no one else is around. I want to pervert the place silly if I can. No idea why, but it sounds like something I'd do. That makes it OK, right? Right!

I have some political stuff to add, but its too much to write when doughnuts are needed. Speaking of which, I purchased an abnormally large doughnut from the canteen for $1.25. I also purchased this. OK, I'm really going now.

EDIT: WHY DOES THE QUEEN NOT LOOK RIGHT ON THIS QUARTER? SHE HAS A NEW POSE AND NO CROWN AND ITS SCARY AND OH MY GOD MY CAPS ARE STUCK. NOT REALLY. I'm just having you on. In all seriousness ... what the fuck is up with the 2003 quarter? Ah, Elizabeth, how saggy your face has become.

BOROMIR
2000 - 2003
May your Horn of Gondor ever make a Terrible Sound

Behold, the New Glory™:


GIMLI
2003 - ????
Words Can Not Describe the Love I Have for You

So I shall say it in pictures: ( Click Here )

I can't believe it. I really can't believe it. I've wanted this damn thing for five years, and now it be mine. As to how I got it (and more on band in general), see entries to come when I feel less crappy.

I suppose I should explain where I've been the last while. Really, its just been a lot of drama. I hate drama. I avoid it at all costs, but the last little while its managed to jump up my ass and bite me in the face. Most of it has to do with my dad, school, the police, blah blah blah. I promise I'll mention it later, just not right now. I've been avoiding the Internet to be honest - it used to be a place to get away from the drama, and now it seems to want to bite me here. Of course, depression and angst is no reason to put a complete stop to sarcasm and wankery, is it?

Oh no! I feel so ... so violated and ... and I think I may even have to cry! Everybody hates me and it sucks so much! Oh my God I don't know what to do! Holy crap, I think Harry's running off right now to hang himself!

Damn it, look at what you've done! I sure hope you're happy!




Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame!

Anyway, Jae made me sell my soul to Air Cadets. He's a Flight Sergeant and shite (waiting for a Warrant Officer 2nd Class promotion). Bianca joined as well, so all seems to be OK. The strange face in the first picture is to keep with the theme of the wonky face club (or whatever its called this week) that Alison and I have going.



I'll finish with the rest of the week's events when I'm feeling less awful. I haven't abandoned you lot, no, I've just been a bit ... eh.

EDIT:

Mr Gibbs says:
When I was younger, I'd be like 'ooh, grade 6 band! I'll play the SEXOPHONE'
Mr Gibbs says:
*sex
Mr Gibbs says:
*SAX

Britt = dumbass.