quizzes

many of us have our catch-phrases. or "battle cries" if you will. i recognize that you may have had difficulty finding one. and without a battle cry, what are you? NOTHING. NOTHING, i tell you. but as always, i am here to help. you are at a party with all your friends and lots of strangers. you are: listening to someone tell a funny story in a big group conversation. sitting down, quietly talking with one or two close friends. the center of attention, as always. introducting myself with the terrifying stern handshake. hanging out in the kitchen, mixing bizarre drinks for others. which of the following is the most enjoyable?: going to see a comedian or a play staying at home and hanging out with my best friends going out to a club and dancing until 5 am. going to a 'show.' putting suction cups on my feet and attempting to climb the walls please, oh please, tell me about your shoes: regular running shoes--nike or new balance or something. i prefer socks. soft ones. platforms. shiny. glittery. huge. i own a wide variety of converse. saddle shoes. or penny loafers. definitely. what is your favorite food?: pizza. pizza pizza pizza. milk, chocolate milk, coffee with milk, ice cream... sushi, curry...anything exotic or spicy. grilled cheese, hamburgers, occasionally italian food. rice cakes with chocolate syrup and yogurt. and water. mmm. you are in duane reade and your friend is attempting to shoplift, say, herbal essence (no, not essences) shampoo. what do you do? giggle. hee! freak out and leave the store. laugh at her and say "you obviously have no experience. give me the bottle. this is my area of expertise." tell her that stealing is wrong, especially if it is creepy shampoo from the 70's, and that she can steal some other time, when i am not around to stop her. pour the shampoo all over the aisle and slide around in it, saying "whee!" you are getting married. (TOMORROW. you better go prepare.) tell me about your wedding. pretty normal and traditional...bride in a big, poufy dress, groom in a tux, a reception with a live band... classy but intimate, pretty much with just close friends and family. not necessarily religious. huge and extravagant...either that or i'll elope in vegas. religious. and the groom might be eddie vedder. unconventional, in the summer, with a scantily clad wedding party. which do you prefer?: people cats genitalia tall, strange people cows your ideal job: something where i can be social during work writing stories or computer code...something where i can be alone most of the time acting! so i can be on stage and have attention nonstop. anything but the nyu phonathon. anything. farming.

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