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erica romantic's Journal
yesturday was great times a million. 3rd hour was creative writing and nick read a poem and then joel and then me. and there were so good and so funny and i was so nervous to go on next. but the class had a certain feel about it. and i knew i had to go next. so i did. and as i started reading i feel into some kind of erica-slam-poet zone. i was just screaming all the lines that needed to be screamed and making wild hand gestures. AND IT WAS FUN.
and today nick came up to me in the hall and was gushing about how in the zone i was and how much it excited him to see someone else that shared his passion for poetry things. and he mentioned that we should do a group peice. and man, i was just so crazy flattered. and i am so in awe of his poetry, and then to have him talk to me about doing a group peice. i could just die with excitement. i ment to give him my number, but completly forgot. oh nick and joel i think you are the poetry friends i have been looking for. oh. oh. oh.
and if that was not exciting enough i was talking to some julie and some jeff last night. about some visiting and some kidnapping of before mentioned canada native. and man. im so excited. and hope everything turns out how i want.
scott and i went to the park during lunch today. because it was a beautiful day. no coats were needed, and the swings were calling our names. you know. that kinda day...yesturday we pulled scott's car on the grass and near the swings and blasted the at the drive in. but today other people were there so we just smoked cigarettes. i smoked one of erica arena's misty 120's because she bought them and hates them. 100's are long...120's are like pencils. it was a non-stop laugh. when you smoke half a cigarette and there is the normal length of a cigarette left, you know somethings up. i always laugh when i write about smoking. cause i only smoke when im bored. or when someone offers me one. i don't make enough money to have an addiction.
EELS ARE PLAYING A SHOW MARCH 30TH AT THE METRO. IM GOING WITH SCOTT AND ERICA. YOU SHOULD COME TOO ITS GOING TO BE MUCH MORE FUN THEN ANYTHING YOU HAVE PLANNED.
i hung out with jamie yesturday, julie today. im getting my healthy dose of the j's in. i miss both those girls, and see neither of them enough. wahhh. julie and i talked about how going to virginia and canada this summer would be a good move on both our parts. and lets face it, we are totally right. we also sat in the bagel place parking lot for a while and talked. i really like julie because there is never silence when we hang out. there is always someone talking. and even tho silence can be fun. im a big fan of the talking. as most of you know, im sure.
senior showcase is coming up. for those non-auburn kids that means all the kids in CAPA(creative and preforming arts) have to do something. some kids make art some kids do a play. im in just dance so i pretty much am stuck with doing a dance. but im very much going to do a pelvic thrusting party with erica and jamie. hopefully i can make them realize that doing it to a talking heads song would be a good idea. because really. it would.
tomarrow is "open mic" in creative writing. i am excited. i planned to make cookies but now its 10 00 at night. i think i just may have missed the cookie making window. drat. perhaps i shall wake up early and go buy something from some open all night store. maybe. maybe. im going to read a poem im very excited about tomarrow. i shall type it up and post it here for sure but its one of those thats better if i read it aloud. so if you want to call me ask for the digits and i will give em to you.then i can read it for you. and it will be much better then if you read it alone.
i got a 10 cent button at the trash and treasure it says,"im pro-choice" cause you know i am. i also got a 5 dollars type writer it has a baby blue case, and its a lot better then the typewriter i already have. ohhhh, im excited.
nothing very exciting really happened today. but nothing bad happened either. so that was cool.
if i can tape an animal doing domething funny i can get 100 dollars...where a videocamera and a tap dancing squirrel when i really need em?
who wants to hang out with me tonight, eh? lets do something exciting. ok.
it is snowing.
so bad that i went home an hour early, to try to avoid death, you know.
i want to run in it, and i want it to stop all at the same time.
today will be erica and julie excitement. all day, after 4 30. hopefully the falling snow will not get in the way. hopefully, i will drink enough coffee to keep me up all night, stuff like that is always nice.
today we went the the aquarium. it was pretty fun. having out with 6 teenage boys all day makes me feel a combo of buff and stupid, i kinda dig it. josh grabbed this scary, dirty boy named bill's ass for a dollar. bill was not amused. zane and i ran around screaming whenever we saw something cool or unusual, which was often. the other guests at the aquarium were not amused. on the bus ride home josh feel asleep and ivan, the foreign exchange student, smeared the cream from a twinkie like thing on his nose. he stayed asleep till our laugher got so loud we woke him up. he was not amused.
why can't i have feild trips everyday?
Current mood: bouncy.
Current music: godspeed you black emperor!.
this is from something we did in creative writing class. we had to pick a person we knew write about them, there hands, what they were doing with the
hands, and then write about a place and then write itall down into a poem. i picked my friend erica but since this is not something that actually happened i felt odd reading it aloud to my class so when i typed it up i used the first name that came to mind. which was connor oberst, cause you know, i was listening to bright eyes at the time.
conor oberst is smoking cigarettes
he almost never smokes this fierce
he is slumping over on a beach towel
pumping the sounds of some twenty something with a gorgeous voice
this ocean is so completely blah.
and conor's killing himself slowly but at least its on his own terms
better then those 9 to 5 suicide trips some of us seem to be so fond of.
"where's your girl i ask?"
conor gives me one of those looks that can only be described as hard
or piercing
he slips his last cigarette from the pack and lights it
he has a pile of kleenex roses and cigarette butt stems adorning the
ground
at his feet.
i sit down next to him
and chew my fingernails with a single mindedness that seems to imply
that i don't mind if he doesn't talk to me.
even though i do.
he holds his cigarette between his lips
both hands stabbing the air
"im just not in the mood you know?"
he doesn't' look at me when he says it.
he doesn't seem to be looking anywhere.
just kinda off into space. maybe inward.
i consider the possibility he forgot im here.
i consider the possibility he does not want me here.
i consider the possibility he doesn't't give a shit either way.
i stay,
and keep chewing my nails till they bleed
watching him chain smoke.
we sit there for hours.
and conor keeps smoking and smoking.
after a long while
he gets up,
offers me his hand,
and before he walks off he whispers
"thanks"
Current mood: excited.
Current music: bright eyes.
this is from something we did in creative writing class. we had to pick a person we knew write about them, there hands, what they were doing with the
hands, and then write about a place and then write itall down into a poem. i picked my friend erica but since this is not something that actually happened i felt odd reading it aloud to my class so when i typed it up i used the first name that came to mind. which was connor oberst, cause you know, i was listening to bright eyes at the time.
conor oberst is smoking cigarettes
he almost never smokes this fierce
he is slumping over on a beach towel
pumping the sounds of some twenty something with a gorgeous voice
this ocean is so completely blah.
and conor's killing himself slowly but at least its on his own terms
better then those 9 to 5 suicide trips some of us seem to be so fond of.
"where's your girl i ask?"
conor gives me one of those looks that can only be described as hard
or piercing
he slips his last cigarette from the pack and lights it
he has a pile of kleenex roses and cigarette butt stems adorning the
ground
at his feet.
i sit down next to him
and chew my fingernails with a single mindedness that seems to imply
that i don't mind if he doesn't talk to me.
even though i do.
he holds his cigarette between his lips
both hands stabbing the air
"im just not in the mood you know?"
he doesn't' look at me when he says it.
he doesn't seem to be looking anywhere.
just kinda off into space. maybe inward.
i consider the possibility he forgot im here.
i consider the possibility he does not want me here.
i consider the possibility he doesn't't give a shit either way.
i stay,
and keep chewing my nails till they bleed
watching him chain smoke.
we sit there for hours.
and conor keeps smoking and smoking.
after a long while
he gets up,
offers me his hand,
and before he walks off he whispers
"thanks"
i think my sister knows my opendiary name
i put it on private. that makes me so sad.
2/25/2002
so um, pop up ads are lame, you know.
its mikl's birthday today. maybe i will send him a mix tape. it will be funny when it gets there months from now, because posts offices hate me. speaking of birthdays..everyone is born in either this month or march. nine months ago is surely the season for having sex, i guess.
last saturday i drove a long way for nothing behind a guy that was leading us to a show that would end up being lame. we will call him ben, cause thats his name. ben drives fast, 70 or 80 miles an hour fast. i have an oldsmobile, keeping up was not fun. my car starting shaking i thought it might have a flat tire, but it ended up it was just screaming for me to stop the only way it knew how. poor esme. yeah, my cars name is esme.
peter and scott made me laugh a lot that night which kinda made up for spending money on a lame show and smoking so many cloves my throat began to hurt. because what else do you do at a boring show for entertainment aside from smoke? eh?
i tried to get a video rental card today but i needed a credit card. FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD VIDEO.
my back hurts. really bad. and im bleeding. you know from my vagina. which is for sure one of my least favorite places. cause you know, it happens so fucking much. although, i must say its better then being knocked up. not that i know what that feels like, but you know, i can't imagine its a good feeling. especially since i never want kids. stupid blood. i wish i could just talk to my uterus like it was an adult and not a stupid blood crying baby and be like "hey uterus, im never going to use you to make a baby, cause you know, i never want one, so how about you stop playing this game you play so often. cause its dumb, and it makes me angry" and my uterus will be like "sweet mother of god, i thought you wanted a kid someday, i was just practicing so that when it did come around it would have a nice home to sleep in. im really really really sorry" and then i will be like "hey its ok, we all make mistakes...forgive and forget, shall we?" and my uterus will be like "for sure" and any and all problems will stop there. good plan, eh?
Current mood: sore.
Current music: bright eyes...the calender hung itself.