| losing the exxess baggage |
[01 Aug 2002|02:32pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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stupid phones "Give 'em quotes!" |
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Heard from and X today. It was a wonderful letter. I mus have read it over and over about ten times. It caught me off gaurd very much. It truly melted my heart to know that the people I've once dated really do have hearts of their own, consciences too.
I've thought about him time to time, with no hard feelings, because I had more great times than bad ones. Wow. Took a year. That's not too long.
Joe: six months
Eric: four months
Apologies are accepted.
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| Eye D ten Tees |
[10 Jul 2002|02:07pm] |
I live to encourage. This life really does have reason, doesn't it?
I've been working in the home insurance business for over 10 months now. Nothing seems to give me reasoning for changing my opinion about stupid people. No one knows a darn thing about... anything.
"But speak the truth, and all nature and all spirits help you with unexpected furtherance. Speak the truth, and all things alive or brute are vouchers, and the very roots of the grass underground there, do seem to stir and move to bear you witness... Good is positive. Evil is merely privative... It is like cold, which is the privation of heat. All evil is so much death or nonentity. Benevolence is absolute and real... The intuition of the moral sentiment is an insight of the perfection of the laws of the soul.. The dawn of the sentiment of virtue on the heart, gives and is the assurance that Law is sovereign over all natures.
But speak the truth and the worlds, time, space, eternity, do seem to break out into joy." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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| Headaches, Toothaches, Legcramps, and Heartaches |
[01 May 2002|07:01am] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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energy@fullblastthru34computers&anAC.hum.seven9s;&10s.daisys |
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Back in Korea, this time for a short while. I will be getting my bottom wisdom teeth pulled out. Does this make room for wisdom, or cheat me out of what I've already received? Strange one, this will benefit you. It will rid you of much pain.
It is costing me less than a hundred dollars. If I was back in the states I'm sure it would be costing me much more, perhaps over $400.
Joyce is what her name is... pure joy. She lights me up. Illumnating. Her soul is illuminating to mine. Everyone is wonderful here. I would much rather stay here, but I'll be heading back in a couple weeks and there I will stay for some time. Not too long though. I want to come back here for school. From there, who knows? ^
Grace is gotten much taller. She's amazing. Amazes me everytime I see her.
I would love to be floating in the pacific ocean right about now and blissfully drift away in thought and prayer. God, you amaze me as well.
Australia? YWAM.
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| I Am Becoming The Person I Want To Be With |
[19 Feb 2002|06:20pm] |
about to leave this place in about 10 minutes. work place, that is.
this weekend i'll be going austin with some friends to visit and chill with more friends. i'll be there from friday until monday morning. should be good times.
life has been busy and fun lately. been keeping up with sign language and reading.
latest cd i'm listening to is elliot smith's XO. i like it alright.
the weather has been windy but warm. hurts my ears, but i can feed my skin at the same time.
i'll be going out to eat dinner tonight.
wow, i just realized how my journals are just of things that i do during the days... i don't write too much about my thoughts or much anything else that goes on up here in this far from hollow shell atop my spine.
the radio is blaring in the background so it makes it a bit difficult to bring out the thoughts. "so come on shorty if you think you can roll..." these songs i hear three or more times a day working up here at texas star general agency.
dj is now in the air force. :/
he and ellie are deep in my thoughts and heart.
gary's got cancer. terminal. he's been out of work for two weeks now. last friday bo, myra, and i went to the shannon medical center to visit him during break. we ended up taking an hour break. i had xeroxed my face for him. i know he liked it. left him a friend by his bedside as well; a blown-up latex glove with a drawn face. i like making him laugh. told him about the grand canyon.
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| Guard Your Heart |
[04 Feb 2002|11:15am] |
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mood |
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you of you |
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ended up me not going to the state park after all. it was sprinkling. the weather has been very downcast lately... its making me feel downcast as well.
here i am back at the same computer, some job, same work... only a lot of things are different now. i'm different now.
changes... my life always has changes. constantly there is a change. most times i don't understand why things are happening whilst they're happening. but in due and perfect time my eyes and ears become clear and open for seeing and hearing what i once wanted to understand so badly... and it becomes simple. i say "ah", nod my head, and continue on my trip around the world. raise my sails for the next destination. each destination has me contemplate in the same way, although they aren't the same. experiences and situations tend to become more perplexing and take more mind work than past ones. and i wonder what could be next? that thought makes me smile. only God knows what's in store. and i haven't the need to worry of it. because... i know i can take on anything put in my way. there is nothing in this world that i can't handle once it has been laid in front of me. and i won't turn around or just move to a new place to forget about. i'll finish it... so that i may begin to watch the next episode.
its all nice on ice.
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[02 Feb 2002|11:09pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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fans blowing, heater still snapping |
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the girls left some time ago... around 5:30.
went out to Joe's for some pasta. remind me never to get fettucine alfredo again. it tastes wonderfu, but it just isn't for this body of mine. it really hurt for a couple hours.
tighe stopped by while i was out to dinner. i knew that was going to happen. i've left two messages on her voicemail. she still hasn't contacted me.
i haven't heard from steven either. supposedly he is leaving killeen at midnite, so that would have him arrive here at around 3. will i be awake?
i still have another hour and a half to go. once i get home it'll prolly be 1. then i'll have to shower, wash me hair, and clean the apartment. actually, its clean, i just need to organize it a bit.
boy, my journal is full of excitement. blah blah. i've been here since 715. it has taken a toll. i have burnt myself out. files suck, papercuts suck... but i have to remember... i'm not complaining. i'm stating facts. the good part is that i get paid and i'm gaining experience, etc. etc.
i cut my fingernails a while ago.
i'm hoping i'll get to go to the state park tomorrow to ride my bike. last week was great. spent a couple hours out in the sun and dust. i still haven't cleaned her up. she's got dirt all over her. in the brakes, chain... all over. should just wipe her down. i still haven't a helmet. should really get one. just haven't gotten around to getting one. if a bike shop is open tomorrow i'll grab one and go. if not i'll buy some cheap one from wal-mart or some place similar for the time being.
my leg healed alright. whilst riding me bike at the state park i landed me right leg into a thorn bush. bunch-o-scabs on there now.
i kept riding after pulling out a few splinters. after a while my shin started to itch and burn something awful. i thought i had picked all the tiny thorns out, but i guess i mistaked one for a hair on my lef since it was the same length of it. i hadn't shaved for over a week so you can imagine. dionnie had her share of splinters as well.
i received many bruises as well. i think its from sudden stops. for instance, one time my front wheel was two inches away from a prickly pear plant. i slammed the brakes so hard, the rear flew up, my body went forward, i was on the end of my toes and those dang pedals hit up against my shins.
i'm gonna go finish off stapeling those policies.
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[02 Feb 2002|02:13pm] |
still typing policies.
now its adriana, becca, myra, and i up here. i'd rather be on my own. then i can pass gas all the heck i want. mostly its the lights that bother me. i don't like it when all the lights are on.
they hurt me eyes.
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[02 Feb 2002|09:17am] |
"Cowboy Dan" is still my all time favorite on this album, The Lonesome Crowded West.
"every time you think you're walking, you're just moving the ground. every time you think you're talking, you're just moving your mouth. every time you think you're looking, you're just looking down."
excellence on the guitar. "God if i have to die, you will have to die."
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| Stale Air |
[02 Feb 2002|08:04am] |
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 awake |
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music |
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still humming away with sporatic snaps in the heating system |
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hummm... the hum of many things vibrate through this stale air inside this brick building which i spend many of my daily hours in, especially lately.
work, it sucks, then it doesn't. makes sense?
i finally have a place of my own. a humble two bedroom apartment, all to me lonesome. i love it, i love it, i love it, i love it! just needs to be disinfected samore.
YES! i am out of San Angelo on Tuesday. i WILL be in Austin on Tuesday evening WITH Steven. and the following day i WILL be in Arizona. then the following day after that we WILL watch the sunrise together. and i AM going to take loads of photos. aahhh...
feels good to think about it. i hope its hot over there.
so its 8a here on a Saturday morning. i got up here at around 715. stinkin'... they gave me the wrong key to open the door so i was stuck in the hallway. bangin' at the door, yelling at the door. trying to break the key off inside the door knob and all that psycho stuff. i get tense and aggravated verily easily. i think i controlled most of it from coming out. now that i'm at the desk i just can't seem to get myself to work any.
i have to work a full 16 today, so i may be in and out of this journal. might end up an interesting day (there goes joanna being hopeful again). so i'll be breathing this air that i described at the beginning as stale all throughout this beautiful day. i know its beautiful out there. i saw the colors in the sky as the sun was rising. i don't belong here, yet i do because i owe this company hours for i WILL be in Arizona next week until the following Sunday. WOO HOO, is all i have to say bouts that.
i guess its back to work. i may even put on my music and listen to moodest mousse. this is only asking for more aggravation. but i like this kind of aggavation. its a calming, "i-know-what-you-mean" connection type of aggravation. know what i mean?
OUT
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[10 Jan 2002|12:28pm] |
this is going to be sloppy...
it has been some time. seems like all i have been doing are quizzes for entries.
they're fun stuff anyway.
steven is in killeen. crazy. drives me nuts that i haven't seem him in 5 months and now he's only a 3 hour drive away. rather frustrating, it is.
lately, life has been nothing but work, work and me being a vagabond.
i moved out of the stewart's. been couch jumping... now i'm in a semi-perm place looking for an apt. found a chill place next to the concho river that is walking distance from work. right next to the museum. quiet area. i like it.
i'll be checking out another apt today during lunch.
tighe has been in hong kong. i know she's back in l-town by now. just haven't heard from her.
went up to muenster for the holidays. got to spend time with me dad and everyone else in the family. hung out with steven reiter quite a bit listening to modest mouse. good times.
have to go back to copying policies for this insurance company that i have been working for since august 31st 2001. times is a flyin'.
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| Stormy Whether |
[16 Nov 2001|12:23pm] |
Should be working right now. I've been copying files since about 8:40 this morning. I'm not complaining though. I really enjoy making copies. I live up to my 'fileclerk' standards.
Last weekend I went to Whitney. The town where I graduated from high school. It was like watching a movie. Anyway, I was down there because a friend of mine got married. Marlon Banner and Jessica Hankhouse together forever. The drove off on a Harley. Romantic.
I"ll write more later.
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[23 Oct 2001|01:18pm] |
It has been amazing.
San Angelo has turned out for the better. Life is great. Although I do miss Steven and my family along with many other great friends.
Who knows when I will return to Korea. I hope that it be soon, but there are other things that I need to take more of a priority in. This all sounds pretty interesting, huh?
I'm at the public library on lunch break...
I'll be leaving now... actually, after I check out this book first.
I still haven't a bicycle. I've learned a lot of sign language. I'm sketching more than ever. I finally bought conditioner for my hair. I went to Goodfellow on Sunday and bought a cartfull of groceries. My brother is moving to San Antonio from Maryland on December 1.
I'll be going to a wedding, Marlon's wedding, on November 10 at 6p. On Thanksgiving weekend I'll be visitng with family up in Noth Texas.
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