Erika

11:55am: long entry...
Last night was the chinese resturaunt thing...I think that turned out rather well. I need to THANK CONOR because he changed the reservations from 16 to 25. THANKYOU. he's still in school.
I accidently kept Tim's shirt...oops! But Tim said that it wasn't and accident on his part lol. ::smothers self in shirt:: It's sooo subtle, but it's un-mistakenly Tim smell. ha ha ha I'm a dork. finish this later

1:31pm: oops!
YAY! I thank you Tim for makeing the reservations for me. THANKYOU sooo much! but...I need to change the reservations. oops, I can't seem to either count or enforce my rule that if any additional people were to come I was to be told by Saturday. I think it was both, 'cause I made the reservations for 16 and ummmmm I have 25 people coming???
OMG! I have to call and change the reservations TODAY. Anyone care to do it for me? I can't ask Tim again...he already did it the first time...AND I THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!! Well...it would be 20 but I have four I'll be lates and/or I might be able to come but I'll be late. and then I have four people who still need to get back to me. ERRRRR! ha ha ha I just hope EVERYONE brings ten dollars. If they don't I'll be EXTREMLY mad.
ENOUGH of that...let's talk journally stuff.
journally stuff? journally stuff!
I went over Tim's last night! ^_^

9:27am: I was thinking...I want to share with you what I saw that fateful day...
Yes, 9/11 was extremly awful...
But that's not what I'm going to talk about.
The skies. No airplanes for like what? four days?
The skies were so blue and pure. There wasn't any air vapors (from the planes). Nothing. Nothing but blueness and the real clouds and birds. It was pure.
Then I was sitting in my German class...
The Jet fighter big thing type airplanes from the american side...I think five of them flew over the school. At the time I didn't know what to think...I never experinced that before. Everyone was saying "there's not supposed to be any planes!!!" ahhhh a slight freaking out in the class. Then after while we kind of realized they were from our side lol.
A couple of days later the planes started again...and every plane that went by in the sky I couldn't help but stare up into the sky. The sky turned back into what I was used to. I wonder what those people sitting in the planes were thinking.
The skies aren't so pure anymore. Their once again marked up with human intelligence. (and human intelligence isn't a bad thing)
but I tend to wonder...do we REALLY need planes? I liek the skies pure.

6:44pm: la la la la la la la la I'm sooo BORED! I need someone to be online so I can aimlessly RAMBLE! but despite the boredness I am still NOT depressed. See...some one *cough if you're reading this I love you! cough* decided to stop reading lj's 'cause they were "depressing".
eh...I'm going to be *happy*! except when I'm sad then I'll be sad. Hee hee hee so as you can see...I'm not changing what I write in here, because you don't want to read it. See? you don't have to read it, and you don't! therefore I don't have to change! WOW! i love how the world works! I don't have to change myself to please others!
This is my journal, I shall put Journally stuff in here!

I went to Canobie the other day! it was great! I went on one more ride then I usually do! That's a big accomplishment seeing as though I only go on the tea cups and other such. Hee hee I went on the tea cups and the tilt a whirl and caterpillar and the dragon rollercoaster! ha ha ha I'm so scared of rides lol. I almost went on turkish twist. That guy was working. yea, he was makeing fun of me saying he'll tell all the cute guys in the park I'm a wimp. I told him I didn't care. and thankyou cousin Nichol she said with ease that I was taken so it didn't matter anyways. ha ha ha I could've said that. lol This is what happens when I write too much, you (the reader) get bored. So I'll leave you now. hugs and kisses and sexyness all from me!

6:35pm: Don't look at me! I live in a tree! I'm so pretty in my tree u want to be me oh so pretty in my tree
Don't get me wrong...my day is great!
Tim...I get the feeling he's rather upset over the classes and such. Hmmmm will you *smile*? please? I love you...
Rick's Cafe only has buffets on "sundays" errrr ::shake fist:: lol doesn't ruin my time at all. And Lisa McGurn evidently doesn't care for chinese food soooooo that's no chinese food for her! what's she gonna do? sit there for like an hour or something? evidently, but I'm glad she's coming 'cause she's my friend. all my friends are going to be there and I'm happy.
oh! and I have another errr type of thing to share...Can't go in pool. I can go to John's party, but no pooling for me. ha haha I JUST LOVE to share that with you guys!
Despite all the errriness I'm still happy. I love you!!!!!!! *muah*

2:29pm: =)
sometimes.... I just like to smile so ignore me While I make me smile. lol this is from katherine's lj...
Thursday, May 2nd, 2002
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7:43p - who wants to hear silence when you can hear laughter?
so...what all has happened? *thinks* nothing too significant...oh wait! tim and erika! *grins* they're cute. *pictures tim doing his paranoid look*

_______________________________________________
anyways...I'm all done smiling now....ummm serious stuff. errr *working face* lol I can't be serious today if I tried. mua ha ha ha.
I FORGOT G-BLOCK IN MY OTHER ENTRY!!!! it is German!
Oh and the first person I know in one of my classes is JON! he's in my gym class. yay! i know someone!

10:43am:

i have issues. but i also recognise this fact and do what i can to resolve those issues. i may have spent a long time letting those issues control me, but now i'm ready to take the upper hand and wonder about the world around me. i'm getting to be well-balanced, but i'm not quite there yet.

how mad are you?

this quiz was made by piksy

oh, by the way...my classes that NONE OF YOU ARE IN...but I'll change that next year...I WILL be the intelligent person I know I am. ERRR and ANYONE WHO TRIES TO STOP ME IS GOING DOWN!!!tee hee
a block- Ms.Hagan (3216)
b " " fine arts Ms. Hough (3120)
c " " modern history- Donovan (3104)
d " " chemistry mr sillery (3306)
e " " geomtry Ms. Burke (1204) <--Is she a freshman teacher? someone help me with this one...she sounds REALLY fimilar!!!
F MCAS prep 3349 <---have to change this one...I signed up for an extra mini english class type thing lol...it was suggested for level one and honors english and My teacher ms murphey put it on my sheet and I didn't mind it. I DON'T WANT MCAS PREP, I GOT EXCELLENT SCORES IN EIGHTH GRADE ON MY MCAS!
and Gym I have on F block.

1:43pm: Hard work...
To do list:
Call Troop leader,,,find stuff out.
Finish last summer reading report.
make sure everyone is invited... IT'S HARD IF NO ONE HELPS ME GET S/N's!!! acutlley no...everyone has been a big help, lol I couldn't of done this by myself. but still I have about twenty more s/n's to aquire. gahhhh! I hate planning!
I woke up last night and I looked into the mirror...My eyes were a light green. It was weird, I didn't feel liek me. I looked different without my blue eyes. yes, I know I tell ppl my eyes are a bluish green only because I wanted to be. BUT THEY REALLY WERE A GREENISH GREY!!!

10:28am: ashes to ashes and dust to dust...not quite sure what it all means
hmmm...I'm makeing an appointment for the docters.
I'm starting to think I might have PMDD. (I could be wrong, but I think it's a SEVERE case of PMS)
For the last couple of months whenever the evil time rolls around, things get unbearable. I hate to say this...but yesterday I considered suicide. Looking back at yesterday I know that wasn't really an option, I wasn't going to, nor will I ever, but still...I thought of it. Cramps hurt so unbelivably bad that the only thing that runs through my mind when I have them is "I need to sleep, can't feel pain in sleep!!! oh, if to die was to take this pain away, then I'd be happy!" now...again, I'm not going too, I promise. but if it's this bad EVERY MONTH, I think you can tell I don't want to go through it for like the rest of my life. I need to see the docter, I know the extent of all of this isn't nessecary. Hmmmm hey sorry to all the guys reading this...you know you could've skipped it lol

2:07pm: Thankyou
Thankyou Katherine, you probally saved everything important to me today. lol thankyou again.
After that I listened to my *new* burned CD. I believe that is the first one I burned successfully! At this point I became unbelievably happy, and then I went outside. I LOVE the smell of mulch after it rains lol. It's nice and cool out there and *lovely*.
SOOOO things may not be *perfect* right now...but they don't have to be. Everything will be just fine.

10:31am: la la
you don't read this anymore, so I suppose then I can write what I please. I'm in a bad mood can you tell? I'm not sure quite why but a coversation is not an option right now. I can't be happy all the time, no one can. I don't want to be happy right now. I want to sit here and hate and hate. and after a while school will start and perhaps things will be better, untill then no one type with one hand! it is tedious work!

6:38pm: X0xEriyx0x: hee hee I'm comtemplating on whether or not i should download the mario brothers techno remix thing
X0xEriyx0x: what do you thinK?
Vote Emu: DOWNLOAD MARIO TWINS
Vote Emu: !!!
Vote Emu: wait no
X0xEriyx0x: mario twins?
Vote Emu: hld on
X0xEriyx0x: already saw somethign like that i think
X0xEriyx0x: was it like shiggity shiggty swa?
X0xEriyx0x: if I'd offer them and icecream they'd both say yes?
X0xEriyx0x: that one is funny
X0xEriyx0x: it's so great
X0xEriyx0x: i'm going to look for it now lol
Vote Emu: javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(20935, 400, 500);
Vote Emu: ...no
X0xEriyx0x: oh, well that one is great
Vote Emu: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=20935
Vote Emu: go there
Vote Emu: thats it
X0xEriyx0x: it's like these two people with broken english just randomly talking about the mario twins or something and then they out of no where they start going do do do (in the mario brothers them)
Vote Emu: ya
X0xEriyx0x: I'm going there now
Vote Emu: its the best
Vote Emu: and that techno remix you were talking about ABSOLUTELY BUTCHERS THE MARIO BROS THEME SONG
X0xEriyx0x: ha ha ha
X0xEriyx0x: is this thingy ummm good for parental units?
Vote Emu: the link i sent you/
Vote Emu: ?
X0xEriyx0x: yes
Vote Emu: probably not.. not t good adds
X0xEriyx0x: ahh i see
X0xEriyx0x: soo what's up?
Vote Emu: nuthin
X0xEriyx0x: sooo is this thing what I was asking what it was?
X0xEriyx0x: with the icecream that is mentioned??
X0xEriyx0x: is it???
X0xEriyx0x: is it???
X0xEriyx0x: CONOR!!!!
X0xEriyx0x: I LOVE YOU IT IS IT IS!!!
X0xEriyx0x: AHHH THIS IS THE GREATEST THING!!!
Vote Emu: YES IT IS
X0xEriyx0x: THANKYOU

5:48pm: stupid stupid stupid
I hate book reports
I hate not knowing who I want to be
dependent or independent
to be held or to hold
to refrain or tell the truth
to be happy or to keep others happy
to talk or to be silent
to listen or to ignore
to be friendly or to refrain from friendliness
to hate or to love
to be me or be whom I must strive to be
I love and get hurt or not love and longing
to kiss or to hug
to miss or to ALWAYS be there
to dream or realize
to hold back or to push forward
procrastinate or not?
to be shy or to be forthright
to hurt or to suffocate
to know the truth or to know denial

4:32pm: ...
...
...
...
This is all I have...

1:24pm: right...
I miss you Conor!!! CONOR!?!?! I MISS YOU!!!!
I went to the movies with Tim and his sisters and his mommy. oh and my brother. Me and him are at neutral grounds right now, lol.
I STILL MISS CONOR!!!

12:33pm: I'm bored. Same thing everyday...I should take that back.
Three more days and perhaps I'll feel better? Maybe...
It's not even the evil time of the month, and, and I still feel this way. Forgive me, but...I'm sorry. I'll try to get over it.

8:50pm: I try...
I want to know you...
I want to laugh with you...
and on a day in which I'm surviving on only three hours of sleep, forgive me, but I feel like a bitch. (sorry, Only used that word because of the lack of a better one at the moment)
I can't get to know you now...I'm not up to it, and usually it seems if I'm makeing all the effort. I know that's not true, but like I said, I had only three hours of sleep, I'm acting like a bitch.
And I have to apologize to all of you...I just didn't feel like entertaining you. I had nothing to say, nothing interesting has happend. I'm sorry if you people were bored, but I promise I'll sleep tonight. I won't be so tired tomorrow.

11:03am: hello
good morning!
I don't have much to say...'cause nothing much has happened.
I wanted to send a letter today...no stamps. ::shake fist::
Ha ha ha I did stay up all night though (slight headache) I drew the picture of me and Tim. *eating icecream*
Ok...I honestly don't understand my artistic talent. It's an odd thing.
I'm babysitting today. Good luck to me!

2:45pm: hello0o0o0o
What could I possibly write that would describe everything??
I have nothing to say, but EVERYTHING to feel.
OHHH, everything is perfect.
I wish I could share it with you, but only a few people know how I feel. I'll be full of smiles though. I'm smiling enough for everyone.
I watched the so called "meteor shower" last night...with *Tim* and his family. =) *perfection*
The only thing I saw though was a falling star, and the ::gasp: red star. but we all know that was Mars or Jupiter or something of the sort. *sings* "catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put in in your pocket, save it for a rainy day...For Love may come and tap you on the shoulder some starless night, and just in case you think you want to hold her, you'll have a pocket full of starlight!
tee hee ha ha ha
Just when I think life couldn't get any better, it does. Fate loves me. Ah yes enough of me...ODE to the LEMONAIDE...good stuff. yup yup.
My friend Hope evidently has had a boyfriend for a year and I wasn't told about it. ::shake fist:: He's 17, they have been going out for a year and even though I saw her once a week for the whole year I knew NOTHING about it. there is something wrong there...very wrong.
I'm downloadng stuff on KaZaA! I feel so cool, I can make it work! mua ha ha ha!
SOoo I leave you with my kisses. xxxxxx
I'd give you hugs, but it seems impersonal over the internet at the moment. (so why isn't kissing impersonal at the moment? I don't know, this is how I feel)xXxXxXxXx love erika

11:15am: the ironecy of it it all (and I STILL can't spell)
I stopped posting so much (and I got over the quiz addiction, probally 'cause I took them ALL) because when I looked into a lot of my friend's lists it'd all be eriy, eriy , eriy EVERYWHERE! I felt bad so I stopped posting so much. But guess what?!?! I'm not seeing that anymore! NOT AT ALL!! hee hee hee so look out for boreing entried from ME!!!!

8:49pm: hey hey
I'm just quickly updating, because for some reason...I feel as though I should.

(this applies to a great amount of people, so it might be likely you're the one I want you to read this...except for MAYBE you)

I'm getting so worried about EVERYONE! I want you to smile, and yet I know it's hard for you. I want you to be happy, and yet I know it's hard for you.
It hurts me, because I can't do anything. I feel so helpless.
Please need me...Please...PLEASE talk to me.
My very close friend (she's like family to me) once wrote me a poem that I'm going to re-post in here...because I feel as though I need too.

o0o()o0o()o0o()o0o()o0o()o0o
*If life could be as simple
Then I'd take all the sad away
To make you smile for one more second
To make you stay for one more day
*To make you laugh for just a moment
To make you gleam for time so small
to make you believe you are something
To make you understand it all
*And if Life was at its hardest
And pulling you in ways you never knew
I'd be the one that had stood beside
That would walk and help you through
*And everytime things were too much
To much to handle everything at all
And you'd find yourself letting go and hurting
I'd be the one who'd brake your fall
*And if I had a magic wand
I would heal any wound or scar
I would take away any hurt
When things just went too far
*I would take all the anguish you ever had
And hold them all as mine
Because this is your chance to smile
This is your chance to shine
~poem by heather

12:13pm: Lacey is my best friend in the whole world. I seriously can't imagine myself without her. Shes always there for me and I love ya lace!

9:12am: eye heart you (2gether)
!!!!!!!TODAY IS SO GREAT!!!!!!
WELL anyways....TODAY IS SOOOOO GREAT, I just said that...
I woke up and it wasn't hot out it was just nice.
I'm thinking of great *memories* of yesterday.
I got online and there's TEN emails...all for ME!!!
mu ha ha ha ha ha!It is so good I'm sure it MUST be evil!!!
Hmmm that doesn't sound like much to make it a good day....espeacially
'cause my acne is EXTREMLY horrible....BUT TODAY IS SOOO GREAT!!!!!!! ahhhhh! I'm only typing so much because I like the little click click the keys make when you push them down. HEY! they make my day great too!!! yay!! ::hug::
love,
erika

10:13am: Ignore me, I'm just being conceited.
yesss....I am the emperess, and I WILL own the world. Millions of people will follow me and do as I command, because they want my approval. Everyone wants me to love them; they NEED me to love them.
And in a way it works out for the both of us, because when I'm needed...I feel loved. I'd love you if you'd need me...

9:35am: la la la la sing sing sing sing.
AHHHHH! CRAMP!
"you're my playboy my play toy
my lover my friend
I wanna be with you until the end
I give my heart and soul to you
to make you see it's true
I'm so confused can't you see
Please come rescue me"