| a borrowed thought |
[18 Aug 2002|10:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 silly |
] |
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
- Jack Handey
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| 9. Being quiet |
[15 Aug 2002|11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
If you drink too much, you get drunk.
If you tinker with the engine too much, the truck won't start.
If you want too much, you become a tightass.
If you care too much about other people think, they'll walk all over you.
Do what you have to do, then walk away.
Anything else will drive you nuts.
(another translation)
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| 8. Easy by nature |
[14 Aug 2002|04:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
"Doing the right thing" is like water;
water is good for all living things.
It flows without thinking about where it's going
...just like Tao.
Keep your feet on the ground.
Remember what's important.
Be there when people need you.
Say what you mean.
Be prepared for anything.
Do as much as you can, whenever it needs doing.
If you don't compare yourself to others,
nobody can compare to you.
(another translation)
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| 7. Dim Brightness |
[13 Aug 2002|02:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
Tao never stops.
Why? Because it isn't trying to accomplish anything.
The Masters hang back.
That's why they're ahead of the game.
They don't hang on to things.
That's how they manage to keep them.
They don't worry about what they can't control.
That's why they're always satisfied.
(another translation)
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| a borrowed thought |
[11 Aug 2002|04:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
silly |
] |
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
- Jack Handey
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| 6. What is complete |
[08 Aug 2002|12:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
Tao is an eternal mystery,
and everything starts with Tao.
Everybody has Tao in them.
They just have to use it.
(another translation)
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| 5. Useful emptiness |
[07 Aug 2002|02:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
Tao's neutral:
it doesn't care about good or evil.
The Masters are neutral:
they treat everyone the same.
Tao is like a bellows:
It's empty, but it could help set the world on fire.
If you keep using Tao, it works better.
If you keep talking about it, it won't make any sense.
Keep cool.
(another translation)
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| 4. Sourceless |
[06 Aug 2002|04:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
How much Tao is there?
More than you'll ever need.
Use as much as you want,
there's plenty more where that came from.
You can't see Tao, but it's there.
Damned if I know where it came from.
It's just always been around.
(another translation)
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| a borrowed thought |
[04 Aug 2002|05:03pm] |
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
- Jack Handey
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| 3. Hushing |
[01 Aug 2002|12:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
If you toss compliments around freely,
people will waste time trying to impress you.
If you give things too much value,
you're going to get ripped off.
If you fulfill people's desires,
you'll only leave them dissatisfied.
The Master leads
by clearing the crap out of people's heads
and opening their hearts.
He lowers their aspirations
and makes them suck in their guts.
He shows people how to forget
what they know and what they want,
so nobody can push them around.
If you think you've got the answers,
he'll mess with your head.
Stop doing stuff all the time,
and watch what happens.
(another translation)
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| 2. Soul Food |
[31 Jul 2002|10:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
If something is beautiful, something else must be ugly.
If something is good, something else must be bad.
You can't have something without nothing.
If no task is difficult,
then no task is easy.
Things are up high
because other things are down low.
You know when you're listening to music
because you don't hear noise.
And something else came first, so this must be next.
The Masters get the job done without moving a muscle
and signify without saying a word.
When things around them fall apart, they stay cool.
They don't own much,
but they use whatever's at hand.
They do the work without expecting any favors.
When the job is finished,
they move on to the next job.
That's why their work is so damn good.
(another translation)
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| 1. Taoing |
[30 Jul 2002|08:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
If you can talk about it,
it ain't Tao.
If it has a name,
it's just another thing.
Tao doesn't have a name.
Names are for ordinary things.
Stop wanting stuff. It keeps you from seeing what's real.
When you want stuff, all you see are things.
These two statements have the same meaning.
Figure them out, and you've got it made.
(another translation)
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| a borrowed thought |
[28 Jul 2002|07:59pm] |
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
- Jack Handey
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| only a few words |
[23 Jul 2002|10:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
End Book Two
The End?
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| a borrowed thought |
[21 Jul 2002|08:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
silly |
] |
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?
- Jack Handey
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| 81. Telling it true |
[19 Jul 2002|03:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
True words aren't charming
charming words aren't true.
Good people aren't contentious,
contentious people aren't good.
People who know aren't learned,
learned people don't know.
Wise souls don't hoard;
the more they do for others the more they have,
the more they give the richer they are.
The Way of heaven profits without destroying.
Doing without outdoing
is the Way of the wise.
My apologies for missing yesterday, yaks were backed up along the Emperor's Road for miles and miles.
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| 80. Freedom |
[17 Jul 2002|07:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
Let there be a little country without many people.
Let them have tools that do the work of ten or a hundred,
and never use them.
Let them be mindful of death
and disinclined to long journeys.
They'd have ships and carriages,
but no place to go.
They'd have armor and weapons,
but no parades.
Instead of writing,
they might go back to using knotted cords.
They'd enjoy eating,
take pleasure in clothes,
be happy with their houses,
devoted to their customs.
The next little country might be so close
the people could hear cocks crowing
and dogs barking there,
but they'd get old and die
without ever having been there.
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| 79. Keeping the contract |
[16 Jul 2002|11:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
After a great enmity is settled
some enmity always remains.
How to make peace?
Wise souls keep their part of the contract
and don't make demands on others.
People whose power is real fulfill their obligations;
people whose power is hollow insist on their claims.
The Way of heaven plays no favorites.
It stays with the good.
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| a borrowed thought |
[14 Jul 2002|04:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
silly |
] |
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
- Jack Handey
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| 78. Paradoxes |
[11 Jul 2002|11:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
Nothing in the world
is as soft, as weak, as water;
nothing else can wear away
the hard, the strong,
and remain unaltered.
Soft overcomes hard,
weak overcomes strong.
Everybody knows it,
nobody uses the knowledge.
So the wise say:
By bearing common defilements
you become a sacrificer at the altar of the earth;
by bearing common evils
you become a lord of the world.
Right words sound wrong.
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