LiveJournal for ~*Monica*~.
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Friday, August 23rd, 2002 |
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I am not: normal I hurt: a lot I love: more than i hate I hate: losing people i love I fear: rejection I hope: that i always get a chance to make dreams come true I crave: true love I regret: saying it wasn't true when it obviously was I cry: at stupid stuff I care: about my friends and family I always: worry about the inevitable I long: to get sunday over with I feel alone: even when in a crowd I listen: to my heart to much and my head to little I hide: most of my real fears I cause: people to think I sing: all the time I dance: rarely ever I write: my deepest fears and hopes in poem form I breathe: when i can't manage anything else I play: games I miss: stacy and my innocence I search: for real happines I learn: from mrs. h I feel: amazingly alone I know: that no matter what i have to go on... I say: whatever comes to my mind I succeed: when i truly try I fail: when i just quit caring I dream: to be Vince McMahon's "right hand woman"...unless i am on the left, that is! (lol, kiblerelf) I wonder: what people really think of me and what they say behind my back I want: my dreams to come true I worry: about everything I wish: that people were more tolerent I have: a good heart I give: to much of myself to the wrong people I fight: my own mortality I wait: for my time to shine I need: to accept the things i cannot change and to be more confident |
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Wednesday, August 21st, 2002 |
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i just found out that a few friends of mine, who are a little younger than me, well thier house burned down. to the ground, they couldn't save a thing, and the worst part is they had to get off the bus and see that thier house was gone. this is really bumming me out. kinda reminds me of how i take a lot of stuff for granted. thank god no one was hurt. i can't really think of anything else to say right now.... | ||||
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Monday, August 19th, 2002 |
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my bro started his sophmore year at chs today it feels weird to not be going back...but good i move out on sunday and in a way it feels like i am already gone my 'rents are giving my room to gene and making his room a guest room. had to take my "shrine" down...it took f-ing forever. i just don't know where i fit in anymore anyone who has survived freshmen year want to give me a little advice? |
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Friday, August 16th, 2002 |
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i had the nicest dream last night. it was one of those memory-dreams. it was from when i was around 15 or so and i was really close to a childhood friend named Ronnie (at the time i crushed on him) and one day at school i was walking to the busses and he was walking across the street w/ his friend and when he saw me he said to Richard, i have to give my best friend a hug goodbye. then he picked me up off the ground, hugged me and just sat me down, said goodbye and walked away. i just remember how happy i felt that he did that. it was such an innocent time back then. i wish i could still feel that way. so unjaded by everything. god i miss him..... | ||||||
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Wednesday, August 14th, 2002 |
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whats up everyone? well, lets see... amber came by a little while ago we are going to conway tomorrow everything is changing... she and william broke up jenny got married lacy could be in it deep i no longer speak to certain people some things are just to fucked up to believe oh and my grandma calls me at 7:30 am to tell me a distant cousin had a stroke what a day...i just want to sleep good luck stacy *KIBLERELF* you know i'll be here for ya no matter what. ~12 days till D-day~ |
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Tuesday, August 13th, 2002 |
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Monday, August 12th, 2002 |
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hello all...i am back from Florida and better than ever (well for the most part anyway) we had a blast...sun, sand, and i got a henna tattoo of the chinese word for "dream" and i love it. you see, i am working my chicken -butt up to a real one! i do have one complaint. 12 hours in a car with a crying baby is not a blast! but hey, its all gravy baby. stac- i really wished you could've been there, and you will know why even more if you watch your mailbox. bye bye all i have tons of stuff to do. *13 days till D-day* (dorm day) |
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Tuesday, August 6th, 2002 |
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[[10 Bands You've Seen Live]]*I have only saw 1 live, but I'll names the ones I wanna see after that* -Motorhead -Dashboard Confessional -Bob Dylan -Paul McCartney -Bush -Eminem -Tori Amos -Avril Lavigne -Nelly -Ozzfest -(don't really know anymore) [[09 Things You're Looking Forward To]] -college -being WWE Creative writing director -NYU graduate school -seeing stacy more often -living on the east coast -visiting the west coast -escaping the Carlisle curse -going to rome/london -bieng fullfiled [[08 Things You Wear Daily]] -Shirt -Pants -Undie -Bra -Deodorant -Perfume -my necklace -glasses [[07 Things That Annoy You]] -ignorance -the"c" word -backstabers -fake people -headaches -people who confuse "scripted" with "fake" -itches I can't scratch [[06 Things You Touch Every Day]] -the keyboard -food -a cup -phone -hairbrush -water [[05 Things You Do Every Day]] - breathe - talk - check email - think - dream [[04 People You'd Want to Spend More Time With]] - stacy - micah - ronnie - drew [[03 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over]] - A walk to remember - almost famous - beyond the mat [[02 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment]] - Complicated-Avril Lavigne - Cortesey of the Red, White, & Blue-Toby Kieth [[01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With]] - don't know yet |
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Sunday, August 4th, 2002 |
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boy when you think you know someone...all your life and u admire this person a lot you hear (or atleast you think u do) something that totally blows your mind. i can't think straight right now it is almost like i am numb. the words keep running through my mind, but i am afraid to ask for clarification because i don't want to hear it again. hell, i didn't want to hear it the first time. i will never, ever look at this person the same again. i just wish i knew how i felt...i just know that i was hit with the creepiest sensations that have lasted the past 12 hours. geez i gotta go. just think. pray for me...please | ||||
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Friday, August 2nd, 2002 |
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A - Age: 18 B - Best Quality: that i am myself C - Choice Of Meat: don't each meat unless i am forced to D - Dream Date: anywhere as long as i am with the right person E - Ex (most recent): i'd rather not go there F - Favorite Food: italian. . . G - Greatest Accomplishment: realizing what i want to do with my life H - Happiest Day of Your Life: the day i met stacy (kiblerelf) I - Internal conflicts: boy do i have a lot of those K - Kool-Aid: to sweet for me L - Love: not at the moment and i like it this way! M - Most Valued Thing I Own: my heart N - Name: Monica O - Outfit You Love: shorts and a shirt P - Pizza Toppings: cheese Q - Question you want to ask: there are a lot! S - Sport To Watch: wrestling T - Television Show: RAW/Smackdown and Friends U - Unique habit: i watch to much WWE W - Winter: to cold Y - Year Born: 1984 Z - Zodiac Sign: Cancer |
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Wednesday, July 31st, 2002 |
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Take the Which Wonder Years Character are you? quiz by Ben. |
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today i was going to little rock and we passed the ark. river and i just got this overwhelming feeling that i am so "beyond" all of this. all the same faces...all the same people. this song i like has a line, "i never dreamed home would end up where i don't belong." i need so new experiences, badly. thankfully, we are going to florida on 8-7 and that is going to rock! also, i really want to get out to AZ again to see my sis, stacy (lj user- kiblerelf) before i go off to college. i am sure that will help put a brighter smile on my face again! | ||||||||
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Monday, July 29th, 2002 |
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i am as hoarse as hell today, i swear that after all these shows you think i'd have realized the more you scream the worse you will feel the morning after. me, letha, and these girls sitting beside us were laughing it up all night, until we saw Edge and we screamed so loud for him he waved at us! it was so fun :D but aside from that it was cool shit until this one asshole almost kicked me down the stairs. that sucked, but he was drunk so i doubt he knew what he was doing. all in all i thoroughly enjoyed myself, i just thought i would share my story with you fine people. | ||||||||
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Sunday, July 28th, 2002 |
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i just read that tonight at the little rock house show that i am going to, they are going to announce that the October PPV "No Mercy" is going to be here also! Oh i hope it is...i am so going to go...YIPEE! I hope that HBK is still on-air then. *crosses fingers* | ||||||||
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Saturday, July 27th, 2002 |
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i further realized today that after college i am looking for a cushy job! i had to help my granparents pick up limbs and leaves (they cut down old trees...but will plant new ones at my insistance!)and now my legs and arms ache and i have blisters. i know, poor me. i need a really hot bath. i am all icky and shit. i think i will go do that, but i am going to dye my hair first. toodles all! | ||||||||
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Thursday, July 25th, 2002 |
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"take off all your preppy clothes you know you're not fooling anyone when you've become Somebody else round everyone else Watching your back, like you can't relax Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me." |
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Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002 |
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ok...scratch that last post. i am going to miss it because of some stupid res. hall meetings that night that are mandatory! this blows! | ||||
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Hunter pedigreed Shawn last night and so I've got this sneaking feeling that it will be... HBK vs. HHH at Summerslam so here in lies my problem. SS is on 8/25/02 and that just happens to be the day I move into the dorms. Damn. Then, I was told that I most likely would not have to spend the night, so off to watch the match I have been dreaming about for 4 loooong years! wahoo! *okay...i have joined reality again, those of u who are bored can read again* |
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LiveJournal for ~*Monica*~.
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