Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Amanda's LiveJournal:

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Monday, June 17th, 2002
9:34 am	Hooha So the time has come where I must bid my livejournal farewell for a while. I'm almost finished packing all my shit and I will soon be joining the lovely Stacie Lynn Ziele at Camp Marcella. Not to worry I will pop back in occassionally to check up on things, but for the most part I will be gone and if you were one of the lucky people who gave me your addy you will be recieving a letter soon from yours truly. So I'm out, you can call my cell: 407-252-7922 if you wanna get a hold of me, hopefully it will work. Have a great summer ya'll, peace. Current Mood: awake Current Music: Phish (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 15th, 2002
12:42 am	Ya ya So yeah I went to see the YaYa-Sisterhood tonight. The entire theater was women with their sisters or friends each thinking they had some devine connection to this movie. I went wondering what to expect since I hadn't read the book yet. My mother loved it and told me I had to go, so when my aunt invited me to come with her and her friends I said sure. Ok so I know a lot of women can say they connected to that movie, but it was seriously my life give and take a little. I mean I am Sandra Bullock and my mom is Ashley Judd and I refuse to accept any arguments against this. Anyway that is all. Current Mood: loved Current Music: Mason Jennings (Comment on this)
Friday, June 14th, 2002
12:57 am	Oh poop Today my cousin took me to Fleet bank so I could create a new account. Lynda Leonne was quite nice to me and helped me figure everything out. Next we went to NYC. Do you know how hard it is to find parking there? All those NO PARKING signs, bah! So we fianlly found a spot for one hour and jsut kept coming back and putting money in til 6 cause after that it's free. So we walked through little Italy, Chinatown, and the village. I found the ultimate shoe store. They seriously had converses in every color imaginable. They even had the one's I've searched everwhere for, but in a size too big, so I settled for a rust color. Oh man how I love the city, there were soo many things to take pictures of and so many people to look at. Plus I don't think I could have more fun shopping with anyone else except my cousin. So we finally get home and my aunt has had a bad day at work so I say I'll make the tea. I absentmindedly turn the heat onto an empty pot. Then I go to pour the water and realize my stupidity. Now here's when that year of Physics would have paid off because next I went to pour cold water in hot glass pot and bam glass everywhere. Nomrally one would throw the pot out and say oh well, but afterwards I discover this is my aunts favorite pot passed down from her mother, that she has used to make tea in everynight for the passed like 20 years. I think I'm gonna cry over how dumb I am. There's no way I can replace that, what the fuck can I do? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
11:42 pm	shrug So I got to the gym at 330 and worked til 9. I was like sitting oout on the floor watching the girls do the routines and this one comes and sits down and is like can I help. So of course I'm like sure and soon all the girls wanna help me. It was like Tom Sawyer style with the white fence ya know. I can't believe my godparents let the gym get so messy I did a little organizing and cleaning for them cause I can't stand things to be messy. The everyone left the gym. Liz and I went crazy on the rope and trampoline waiting for someone to come pick us up. Did you ever notice that gymnasts all have similar bodies. It's really strange to be surrounded by like 50 girls with bulging muscles doing monkey flips. Makes me feel not the least bit out of shape . . . yup no way. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
10:28 am	The sun is fucking shining So my family finally left today. . .I'm in the hands of the Jersey clan. They made sure to wake me up at 7 am to say goodbye. So of course I'm up now and decide to jog. It felt so good to run and be outside. Note to self: continue to exercise this summer. Today starts my first day of working at my unlcle's gym for the rest of the week, this should be fun. I can watch all the little girls do flips and twists, then luagh when one messes up and goes flying into the wall, great fun it will be for me. Sims City is one fucked up game. It's basically for people who have no life and feel they must create one on the computer. I mean for godsake my cousin has made her own city full of white supremists. Also worth noting they are all blonde haired. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 10th, 2002
10:57 pm	Yeah so how am I supposed to respond when my Nona tells me,"I'm disappointed in you. You didn't turn out the way I thought you would." Well yippy skippy that's just dandy I've disgraced the Rotella name. Good day! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 8th, 2002
6:53 pm	Postage is raising to 37 cents God this fucking sucks. . .I'm in the worst mood ever today and I'm supposed to go to a BBQ in a few. I just feel like everyone is a stranger. Like I could reach out and touch them and they'd be mirages or only reflected images on the surface of a pond. I just want to be back at school or get to camp, this waiting is killing me. On a lighter note my uncle Louis drove us home in his 1957 red Chevy limo, it was awesome. I spent the entire afternoon with my extended family for my poppy's birthday. I kissed this cheek and that, glued a permanent smile to my face, and repeated over and over where I go to school and how much I like it, yada yada yada. At one point I was sitting next to a priest, who tried his hardest to appear interested in my life, only to turn to me 15 min later and ask the same questions as if he'd never asked them before. Current Mood: cranky Current Music: Jack Johnson (Comment on this)
12:39 am	To be or not to be So we're all sitting around the kitchen table, my cousins have just finished a nice game a bayrou and we get to talking with the rest of the family about spectra, the gay alliance on my cousin's campus. He's the president of his class there and encourages his reps to go to these alliance meetings. So one night the rep recieves a message on his machine when he gets home saying they'e gonna kill him for being a fucking fag. . . Now this gets me pretty heated because earlier in the year when I told my parents I wanted to go to alliance meetings to support some friends they started to give me shit over whether I was gay or not. "Why would you want to support something you aren't? They shouldn't parade around?" Now my parents are pretty open people, they have homosexual friends, yet when it came to this, it became their business. It's as if they watch me for patterns of homosexuality. For instance me cutting my hair short=getting loads of shit from the fam and me not wearing short shorts = dyke remarks. So we're arguing with my dad and uncle that people are born gay and they so no it's something you choose. So then which is it? Is it something supported by the environment you're raised in or is it preset? Should the idea of homosexuality be allowed to be taught in the school system? As my uncle said,"Why is it the school's right to tell my child its ok to be gay." But then again why is it ok for a student to recieve death threats on his answering machine because he decided to go to alliance meetings in support of a friend? I'd be interested to hear any input on this subject. . .negative or positive. Current Mood: contemplative (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 6th, 2002
5:54 pm	eeps . . . Since arriving in Jersey my Veganism has had to face up to the evil villan, Nona. Last night I heard her talking to my dad on the phone about how she'd just use dairy and egg anyways and I'd never know or how she'd stick a lamb bone in my sauce for flavor before giving it to me. I'm terrified, I think I'll starve. My father says the only reason I keep the weight on is because of all the carbs and sugar I eat, which is a lot! So I had meal one and it was safe to eat, just sauce, no bones, she made sure to tell me that, hehe. I resorted to the basement which is like a museum of ancient history. I found a bunch of old books to bring home or give to my parents to bring home since I'm here for two months now. . .we're gonna go check on the camp im counsling at tommorrow and visit some old family friends, it should be fun. Well time to go find something to amuse myself with I already cleaned my plugs out, so that won't work, I think they busted out some old photos, so that will do. . . Current Mood: bored (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
3:24 pm	howdy folks I'm sooooooo bored! I went to Buca di Pepos last night and harrased my best friend who works there as a hostess. They put so much garlic on the food I'll be breathing and sweating it for the next century. Yeah so i go to my pediatrican today to get a routine check up for camp and she brings up the subject of pap smears. Hello the reason I go to a child's doctor still is to avoid these things. As long as I can still breath and my heart beats I'm alive. She was like you should of had one two years ago. I was like hell no lady no one is shoving anything up there, eeps. Oh and i don't have TB so that's always good to know. So I have to pack for camp and I really have not a clue where to start. I mean how am I supposed to know what I'll need for 2 months, that's a long time, oh well. Hehe my little bro wants me to wax his eyebrows and rub sunless tanner on him no, so I must go, haha. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Sparta (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 3rd, 2002
10:34 pm	yaya sisterhood Yah so I'm home for like 2 days. I went to visit my G-ma in Cantonment. It was really fun and she made me all this Vegan food and even tried my tofu, hehe, my mom won't even do that. My two little cousins Savanna and Cheyene are living with my G-ma now and they are so much fun, we watched Disney channel all night and Saturday cartoons, hello I've discovered Spy girls. I feel so bad because like 2 months ago their mom, my cousin met some guy online and told him he could move into her house. So while my aunt ann was visiting me, Celeste took all her stuff and sat it out on the drive and got the locks changed. Then she decided to move to Tennessee with the the girls and this creep, but my aunt had her ex husband drag her ass to court over visitation rights and shit. So she left the girls with him and took off this weekend. They have no idea what's going on, so they think she's coming back. I can't belive how stupid my cousins are sometimes. If I had been raised up there I would probably have 2 kids from different dads and be on welfare or be a bible loving Jesus freak. So while I was there I stripped the wall paper off G-ma's room, sanded the room, and painted it. Then I built her an entertainment center and some shelves for her porch. In case you didn't notice I love building things. Being away for the weekend really helped me patch things over with my mom and that side of the family. My little cuz Colby came over and hung out. I used him as a model for some of my pictures cause he has this awesome red hair, cute as a button. Then we went on a walk down prison road and ran away from big black dogs, then we watched the country channel and rocked out. I luv kids so much (ps kids does not = babies). I've been talking to Nip so much lately. We decided we're officially going out, which makes me so happy. I mean I've dated and been with people before, but never made it official. It just feels so much more real this way and I think the distance will really help to strengthen our trust and communication. I'm just really happy I stepped out of my shell a little and allowed things to happen between us. Ok ok I'll stop now just had to give a little love out. Good and Plenty's are good good good! Current Mood: touched (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 30th, 2002
7:25 pm	Grrrr . . . Right so I am still alive! Things have been so busy lately I have no idea where to start so I'll just start with the past 24 hours . . . Yesterday Stacie and I went to Universal. It was so hot we were ready to kill ourselves because of dehydration. Then we went to see Strung out and Rufio at the social with my friend's Brandi and Erin, but it was sold out so we went to Subway to figure out what there was to do. For Orlando being such a big city there is surprisingly nothing to do. So while were in Subway two members from the band come in and steal like four cups of soda, the some homeless lady with sores on her arm comes in and like digs through the garbage to ass to her collection, then there two kids come in and snort up crack in the bathroom or something. Meanwhile the manager is like in the back watching rerun soap operas or something. Yah, downtown is soooooo safe. So we leave Subway and sprinkles of wetness start to fall and I'm like "oh it's raining" Then it just stops and Brandi looks back and notices the puddle is only where we were standing. We came to the conclusion that some drunk dood pissed out the hotel window onto oour heads or through water out. Stacie sniffed it to check, but there was no evidentual smell to it. So we go to the tat parlor and to my surprise this dood who used to go to school Mica is standing outside with no shirt or shoes on, smoking a cig, nd has tats all over his back. . .I was so surprised. We finally ended up seeing the New Guy at Point Orlando after driving in circles for an hour. So Stacie left today to go home. . .I wish she could've stayed longer, but my granny is supposedly really sick, so I have to go visit. However, my mom has suddenly decided that she doesn't want me away from home at all anymore and is starting to control my life. She's upset that I'm working in Jersey this summer and had been trying to guilt trip me with that. She called my boss and questioned him to see if he's scamming me. My family also resorted to having a conversation without me the other night, that my brother was so kind to tell me about. The convo consisted of my parents deciding they should have never let me go to unh, that it was a waste of there money and I was too far away. They even stated that they want to tranfer me to UF so they can save money and keep an eye on me. WTF! I don't deserve this. I'm nothing but loyal, excuse me for trying to be independent, for trying to have a life. How can I tell them that they are the reason I have stress in my life, that they were the cause for many of my problems. They expect me to always come home, but I'm not like that. If they try to move me back here, I'll just become financially independent and work three jobs if I have to. I am not coming back here, I worked my ass off to get out of here. I hate when anyone has control over me, I hate it. Oh and the next lovely comments have been about ym hair and the way I dress. My mom and yes let me quote, asked me the other day, "Are you trying to look butch?" So now cause I cut my hair short I'm gay? Oh and cause I wear used clothes, I'm dirty? WTF I seriously can't deal with this. I love my family and all and we get along great, but they need to let go and let me love a little. Current Mood: annoyed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
11:04 am	No Ugh why do I wake up so early. Well I mean it's not exactly early, but I really needed some more sleep to get a little extra zip in my step. I think I woke up because someone knocked on the door, but I yelled and no one responded. However, when I came back from washing my face their was a picture and note from Hope, so it must have been her. Damn I missed saying goodbye to her. So hmmm. . . the year is ending so wonderfully. For the first time things just seem to be so great that it scares me a little. I'm not used to things only going well so I always expect for the worst to come. However, I honestly don't see how it could be bad. Yesterday I hung out with Nip, he's really great, a genuine person, who I wish I hadn't judged wtih the rest of them early in the year. We hung out in the coffee house with Stacie and Kitty for a while and then we went to dinner with pals. Sometimes I wish I could jsut be normal and trust people, but I've broken so many times before that pieces are missing and not even super glue works its charm in mending me. Andy got his baby nips pierced! He's the only one I know who would do something to his body out of humor. He got the bar bells done going two different directions. He's talking about getting two more done so they form crosses in each one, haha. I'm glad I finally met Jill. She's such a sweetheart. Finally someone understands my entire fear surrounding babies, pregnancy, and sex; we're hetro soulmates. After a little more conversing we decided she was definitely the fourth member of the Bella Mafia we had been searching for. We ended up going to Portsmouth with her to feed her nasty coffee addiction and hang out. We also bought Kitty an early birthday present. Hehe. When we got back Sam read us the poem he had created for our incestuous family. It was awesome! No matter what happens in the next four years those four will always hold a special spot in my heart. They were my first friends here and they are my family here. They know practically everything that has happened in my life and they make sense out of insaness. Oh how I'll miss family dinners. We've grown so much as people and as a family this year. Sorry I have to be mushy. . .I'm seriously tearing up now because things are so great. Looking back over everything I went through in life and especially this past year I am so grateful for my friends because without them I don't know where I would've ended up. You will never have any idea how grateful I am for each and every friendship I form, they are like treasure to me. I love you all soooooo much. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: JEW "For me this is Heaven" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
11:47 am	Yah I'm done Woohoo I'm finished with finals! Now I can just chill for the next few days. Sarah moved out yesterday and my room is so barren now. Plus I keep taking more and more stuff to storage. Grandpa Cory drove Stacie and I last night to the storage unit. We had to take two trips cause he's a stubborn old man and won't listen to my elaborate packing plans. Oh well, we got lost too and of course I got blammed, hehe. Stacie and I decided we should just live in the storage unit and during the day we can barbeque tofu dogs outside. So one by one my friends are leaving. It's sad cause I won't get to talk to many poeple this summer due to the isolation of me and Stacie's job. We have access to mail and the phone, so umm, yeah. It's gonna be so much fun though. We started talking to some of the other counslers and they seem like good poeple. I just hope there is food for us to eat, so we don't return looking like starving Ethiopians. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Planes mistaken for Stars "Copper and Stars" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 19th, 2002
10:33 pm	this one is for you Stacie love Current Mood: amused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 17th, 2002
8:29 pm	Haha oh man sorry I just had to put this one in for Kitty (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:08 pm	umm . . .ok What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
3:45 pm	oh how i love thee NIN What era of Trent Reznor are you? Take the What Trent Are You? quiz to find out! Quiz by chameleon669! (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 16th, 2002
9:31 pm	Doodles Aww shucks what a day. . . So I get my Economics test and I'm like ok lets go to it. I check out the first question, then the next, my mind frantically racing. "I thought this was supposed to be cut and paste," I'm thinkning. I'm defeated before I began. Oh well. Stacie and I decided to get away for a while and go downtown. The best place to people watch is in front of the laundry mat at coca cola chairs cause they play cool music. Greg and Geoff came by to talk. I got sun burned on my chest,boo hoo, I hate getting burned, not good at all. I come back here and I'm about to start drawing something when there is a knock on the door. The person is like is Amanda there and pops there head in. I jsut sit here, mouth wide open. it can't be, he said he wasn't coming home til June, but it is, it's Mike. OMG I leapt out of my chair and gave him the biggest hug ever. Then we go surprise Stacie. That was the best surprise. We listened to music and talked. He knows my crush, hehe, he's gonna tell my crush I have a crush, hehe. Suzy, Julie, and I went to watch the senior director's plays. They were awesome! Especially Celtic Orgy, haha. Boo yeah what a day. . . Carmine925: reevo.com - Mafia Nickname Creator <--go here Carmine925: i got "the blossom" Mandi 2OO1: "the abalone" Carmine925: cool food nicknaname creator <--if u were a food what would u be Carmine925: slushy? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 15th, 2002
9:37 pm	Last Felicity Stacie the Zielest: I like HOT guys. Don't we all my love. Ahh fuck Andrew just made me piss my pants. He jsut told me Coheed and Cambria is gonna be playing with River City High and Lefty. Oh shit life couldn't get any better. I'm so excited about going home and seeing my brother cause he's an awesome pal. (7 Comments |Comment on this)