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Thursday, August 22nd, 2002
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7:33 pm
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today is my dog's bday. he's 10.
today is also tori amos's bday. she's 37, i think.
i think my tooth is broken. i should really go to the dentist. ugh. but i hate needles anywhere near my mouth. and i hate getting drilled. (well, my teeth.) maybe they can just sand down the crazy broken tooth and give me a crown. maybe i can get a hella ghetto gold one like matt. yahoo.
my new addiction: yahoo graffiti. it's the best game ever. it's like pictionary. i got the word "anteater" and it was the best ever. i drew a bunch of little ants and then i just drew a big face with a huge mouth and then drew an arrow pointing from the ants into the mouth. i was laughing my ass off.
okay, maybe you had to be there. :P
i miss nikke. come back from hawaii!!! whatever. she probably won't even call me when she gets back. pshaw.
blah. i am bored. work is boring.
i started school on monday. well... not really on monday. i wrote down the wrong room number for my first class. and i felt discouraged and tired. so i went home.
i was going to try and add into chemistry. but then i found out that i don't need to take another science lab course. so i am going to try and get into astronomy.
so. i'm taking astronomy. women in history. political science. and speech.
speech absolutely terrifies me. i hope i don't get too scared and drop it. that's what i did last time. i told the instructor that i've struggled with a speech impediment all of my life. (i didn't want him to think my stuttering was me being uncomfortable and nervous and mark me down on speeches or whatever.)
okay. time to get back to work.
peace.
current mood:  bored
current music: sister janet - tori amos
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| Thursday, August 8th, 2002
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7:06 pm
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i went to the doctor. apparently i just have a low back strain. which is what i thought. but people kept telling me i should go to the doctor. so i did. ... they put me on naprosyn. which is just really strong aleve. it's an anti-inflamatory and a pain reliever. so far, so good.
my dad had an appt with neurology today. i guess he's been having even more problems. i am just so sad. cos my poor daddy has to be sick all the time. he has diabetes. heart problems. back problems. leg problems. and now it seems that there are even more things wrong with him. i'm really worried. but what's worrying going to do? i don't know what i'd do without my dad. he's only 53. i wish things didn't have to be so hard for him.
i was late for work today cos i was on the phone with my mom for a while before i left. and when i came in my boss was just joking around with me and was all, "15 minutes late, alicia!" and i just started crying and ran towards the bathroom. and he followed. and i apologized. and he apologized. i don't know. part of me feels like i'm overreacting. but part of me feels like... well, you get the picture.
ugh.
current mood: sad
current music: rival schools.
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| Wednesday, August 7th, 2002
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12:16 am
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hello. i am in a lot of pain. my back is all screwed up. after i helped john move last week, my back has been all stiff and whatnot. it's gotten so bad that i have trouble sitting down for too long. or standing up for too long. or laying on my side for too long. the only thing that doesn't usually hurt is laying on my back. i have an appointment for 8:15 tomorrow morning. gabe is taking the morning off of work to take me to the doctor. i think it's just a really bad lower back strain. hopefully they can give me something for the pain. and something for the inflamation. to help me along as i heal. if it's something serious, i don't know what i'll do.
sigh. i guess i'll update on the status of my back tomorrow.
i emailed erin. my old bestfriend. we broke up last year. it was complicated and almost stupid. but i guess we're both better because of it. but more and more i was realizing that i missed her. so i emailed her. and she emailed back. maybe we can hang out sometime soon. who knows?
i miss nikke. we were s'posed to hang out tomorrow. but i don't know what we're going to do since my back is so screwed up. maybe she can come pick me up and we can go to my house to watch a movie. (we can't watch a movie here, cos gabe's dog will eat her face.)
school starts in less than 2 weeks. and i still haven't registered for classes yet. bah. as you can tell i'm not really looking forward to it. but hopefully this semester i can get all of my classes taken care of and get ready to transfer. ah... who knows? hopefully i can buckle down and take care of things. i thought that since i was spending so much time with gabe last semester that i'd screw up in my classes. but he was really motivating me to get my study on. and i got an A, B, and C last semester. tho i really think i deserved a B instead of a C in economics.
what else, what else? i am s'posed to go see superdrag tomorrow night. i am on the list and everything. but considering my retarded back. i think i'm not going to go. which sucks. cos i was really looking forward to it. ugh. maybe someone can pretend to be me and my brother and get it for free.
gabe is asleep. i guess i should stop typing so furiously.
xo.
current mood: awake
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| Saturday, July 20th, 2002
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7:27 pm
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| Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002
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5:56 pm
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i'm at work. bah. there's some kid listening to a dance compilation on the listening station. he and i are the only ones in the store. the new mixmag (a dj magazine) came with a free record bag. everyone at tower already took the ones that came in there. and i guess the ones at b&n; have been stolen. so i don't get one. (pout) that stinks.
15 minutes later...
bah. had to take care of customers. now there's no one in here but me. i just closed the store for 2 minutes while i went pee. ... something i'll bet everyone was dying to know, eh?
anyway. my brother's gf broke up with him. he's pretty bummed. he was calling me all saturday night trying to get a hold of me... but i was napping. once i woke up i drove over to his house and brought him some wendy's and we chilled out for a few hours. he seems to have calmed down about it. but he still wants to be able to discuss stuff with the ex. but she's ignoring him. what a fucking bitch. i mean, when you're with someone for 3 or 4 months shy of two years, you don't just disappear from their life. you can't just leave someone hanging like that. grrr. that makes me mad.
we (some friends and i) are planning a trip to great america soon. mmmmm. i love great america. also, i am seriously thinking about driving gian back to la when he comes back from italy. i wonder if my parents would be cool with that. i mean, i'd have to drive home alone. that might freak them out. i'll have to talk to them about it. i just think a road trip would be fun. and maybe gian could take me to magic mountain. rawr. that'd be the best.
i am angry that abc has cancelled politically incorrect w/ bill maher, yet they continue to play re-runs. if he's such an awful man... if his show was so bad for their network that they wanted to get rid of it right away, they shouldn't play re-runs. i am also angry that the press is saying that the reason bill maher was cancelled was because his ratings went down. ... which is a lie. growl. i don't want to talk about it anymore. ... i hope that bill maher goes back to comedy central. or writes a book. or something.
bah. i guess i should go.
xo.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: denali.
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| Wednesday, June 26th, 2002
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5:52 pm
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nikke is growing in her mutton chops. rawr. very sexy.
i am waiting for my dad to come home so he can look at my brakes. shit. the phone is ringing. brb. aw. i think somebody just got telezapped. yeehaw.
nikke wants to go get a soda or a jamba juice or something. but where is my dad? who knows?
today i layed around in bed watching tv. then my brother picked me up and we went to barnes and noble to buy my mr. show dvd. and then we went to pretzel time for a snack. we came back to my parents' house to watch the dvd. nikke came over and brought me my watch! yay watch!!! it's pretty. john has left. now nikke and i sit here. and we wait. wait wait wait.
nikke is amusing herself with my precious little dog. mmmm. murphy.
okay. i guess i will go. i miss gabe. dad should come home so he can look at my brakes and tell me they're fucked up so we can get the shit outta here.
word 'em up.
current mood:  anxious
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| Tuesday, June 25th, 2002
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8:29 pm
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bad things:
-my pinky was smashed between two bowling balls last night.
-my brakes sound like shit. and my dad can't fix 'em till the weekend.
-90 minutes left at work.
-there will be a point on my license for 3 whole years.
-period started today.
-i think i am missing the scrubs marathon.
-no matter what i do, the water in my fishtank is cloudy.
good things:
-gabe.
-nikke.
-getting to hang out with gian the past couple of days.
-only 90 minutes left of work!
-the store actually made some money today!
-i will buy my mr. show dvd tomorrow.
work is boring. some kid is listening to rush on the listening station. i am listening to travis. my pinky hurts.
nikke is coming to town tomorrow. i hope she remembers to bring my watch.
norm is back from italy. i wonder when we're going to go to great america... mmmmmm. great america. i need to save money. so i can go on eXtreme skyflyer. and so i can get a funnel cake. mmmmmmmm. funnel cake.
when i went to santa cruz beach boardwalk a few years ago. i bought a funnel cake. and i could see them making them in the back. it was disturbing. pouring batter into dirty, black, oil. if they weren't so so good. i probably would have thrown my away after witnessing such a sight.
okay. now i am babbling.
current mood: anxious
current music: travis.
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| Friday, June 21st, 2002
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9:01 am
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it's too fucking early.
i had to get up at 7am so i could go home and get my dog and take him to the groomers. now i am hanging out at my house doing laundry. and i miss my dog. one of the only good reasons for hanging out at home is murphy. he is the best dog ever. EVER.
i think nikke is ignoring me. it makes me want to cry. what did i do? if nikke doesn't tell me, then someone else should. cos if i don't find out. i will explode.
last night at work was full of STRESS. crazy customers. people making messes. people asking stupid questions. people wearing too much perfume. etc etc etc. good thing john came in. cos i wasn't sure whether i was going to break down and cry, or start punching people in their throats. growl.
i get to see gian tomorrow! yahoo. gian's graduation party is on sunday. nikke said she would come. is she really going to? i hope that bizznitch calls me. sigh.
i need money for...
a) gian's present.
b) speeding ticket.
c) mr. show dvd.
d) cherry coke.
e) groomer bill.
speeding ticket money is due by tuesday. i will pay monday. monday cloudDEAD is playing in sf. i want to go. hopefully john and i can swing it. but who knows? does nikke want to go? what about walter? will gian still be in town? questions. questions.
i need to make gian a mixtape. i need to make GINA a mixtape, as well. i miss gina. i hope one day i can go to seattle to visit. her. or maybe she can come to stockton and visit me. fun times will be had by all.
i never though i like jonah. but guess what? i think i do. i got "always new" ep. i love track 3. barrier.
and every couple of months you die
in every answer a dozen lines
you're feeling better and ready time
and every couple of months you die
a lot of waiting and words and crying
a lot of hoping that you'll be fine
i never try, it always works
it's hard to leave
it's better to burn
i want a barrier
everywhere is someone else's
where is a home for this heart?
sigh.
very pretty.
current mood: rejected
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| Tuesday, June 18th, 2002
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5:34 pm
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yo. i am at work. seems i'm always at work when i post in here.
i'm eating a peanut butter cookie and getting crumbs all over the office. remind me to clean this shit up before i leave tonight.
someone stole one of the cds players at our listening station yesterday. d'oh. fuckin' savages in this town. i guess that it's some guy who always steals dvd players from tower. (the cd player was also a dvd player.) i mean, it just sucks that someone would steal from an independently owned business like that. i mean, you're a loser if you shoplift anywhere. but you're more of a loser if you steal from mom & pop type of places. growl. people suck.
i've gotta pay for my speeding ticket by the 25th. remind me.
i kinda wanna go to the county fair tomorrow night. i mean, i know it's going to be lame. but at least it'll be something to do. but i have to save money for my ticket. and i have to buy something for gian. his graduation party is on sunday.
i saw n*e*r*d with nikke and my brother last week. it was fucking awesome. some big guy kept screaming, "EAST OAKLAND! HOW YOU LOVE THAT?!" and "EAST OAKLAND LOVES KELIS!" and so forth and so on. n*e*r*d's back-up band is this band called spy mob. they opened up the show. i swear to god these guys are totally ben folds five. and all of these people are all rockin' to it cos they play with n*e*r*d. i dunno. it was pretty funny. kelis came out to sing a little bit. they let her play a couple of her own songs. damn that girl is hott. she has an awesome voice, too. we had her old album at my work. so i checked it out. it's okay. but i have a feeling that her new album is going to be a lot better.
i am bored. my brother has my monster's ball dvd. i wonder when he's going to give it back. i am super mad that tower doesn't have the mr. show dvd. i guess they have one on order. i'm going to see if we can get it here. or maybe i can order it at b&n;, or something. as a last resort i'll try and get it from amazon, or something.
anyway. i guess i better get to work. even tho there isn't much to do.
xo.
current music: time spent driving.
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| Monday, June 10th, 2002
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1:56 am - adie made me do it.
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1:13 am
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i just got home from gabe's. the only reason why i'm home tonight is that my mom wants me to spy on the guy across the street after she leaves for work. last week my mom caught him using his leaf blower to blow his lawn refuse (pine needles and the like.) on to the sidewalk in front of our house and in my mom's roses. so she's pissed. she walked over there and confronted him. i guess he said something about how he was trying to clean up in front of our house cos it always looked like shit. ... that's funny. i thought that's why we paid people to come once a week and mow our lawn and sweep up all of that shit. he was basically trying to cover his ass. and my mom got so upset that she told him to fuck off and left for work. i guess she's taken some pictures of him letting his dogs run rampant. (there are leash laws, y'know.) i dunno. it just sucks. cos no one else in the neighborhood can take their dogs out when his dogs are out, cos they're fucking vicious. my mom wants to see if i can get some pics of him blowing shit over to our side of the street, cos she plans on taking them to the city's office and getting him in trouble. y'know... i always wondered why there were pine needles on our side of the street, i mean, we're practically the only people in the neighborhood w/o a tree in our front yard. anyway... i say my mom should report him to the homeowners' association as well. but we'll see.
anyway. i wonder what's up with nikke. she hasn't called me in a week. and i've left two or three messages. and both of her cell phones are disconnected. is she avoiding me? i would cry if she was.
next week i start my conditioning class. monday thru thursday. 10-12. i think i'll be able to handle it.
i went bowling tonight. i stink now. i used to be hella good. i even got a 198 once. d'oh. tonight i got a 140. which is about my average these days. i just wish i'd improve. maybe i can go pro... haha. :P
i was just playing with my eyebrow pencil and i made my eyebrows look very menacing. i wish i could take a picture so you could see. no such luck.
blah blah blah. i am just rambling. i should go to bed soon.
xo.
nikke-tang, where are you?!
current mood: worried
current music: tori amos - do it again.
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| Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
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5:41 pm
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i'm at work again.
today i told my mom about my speeding ticket. i used the whole, "i have good news and bad news, which would you rather hear first." bit. the good news was that i got a 3.0 this last semester. (an A in child, family, and community. a B in civilization. and a C in economics.) she chose to hear the bad news first. i told her that i was caught speeding. 40 in a 25. and that i couldn't go to traffic school to prevent a point on my license. she was pretty understanding. in fact, her only comment was, "those speed limits are ridiculously slow over there." word up.
yesterday i went thrift shopping with gabe. i got a few shirts. two purses. a make-up bag. a big, metal box with some crazy seventies flowery design on the outside of it. gabe got a bunch of books. we went out to breakfast at chuck's. if you're ever in stockton, go to chuck's. it's awesome.
tomorrow i have to take my car in to get the "instrument panel" replaced. it's going to be free, cos it's a factory defect. the dash warps when it gets too hot. john was s'posed to find out if he could take me... but he never called me back. we'll see if i ever go out of my way to do him any more favors. punkassbitch. my mom said she'd take me if they didn't have a shuttle thing at big valley ford that would take me home. gabe said that he'd try and find a way to get me home, too. so, we'll see what happens.
oh snap. we also went to gordon toy company and party store yesterday. i got a bunch of glittery bracelets. and some skull rings. and a big sparkly, gaudy, ring. and a plastic monkey. gabe got some big marbles.
i need to do my laundry. i've been wearing these jeans for many days in a row. i need to buy more jeans. i never thought i liked jeans. but i got some when i went shopping with nikke last week. and i really like these. i should go get some more while they're still on sale. word.
i wonder if nikke got me my watch today. that would be fucking awesome. i wonder when she's going to come to stockton. when i visited her last week she said she'd come to stockton on friday or sunday. friday she was with her girlfriend. and sunday she claims to have fallen asleep. so... we'll see what's up.
i guess i better get back to work. even tho i've done everything there is to do out there... bah.
xoxo.
current mood: bored
current music: location is everything - v/a.
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| Saturday, June 1st, 2002
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2:47 pm
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i'm at work. i've been playing "text twist" on yahoo all day. it's super addictive. my brother just stepped on my toe. beeitch.
john says denali is playing at the bottom of the hill on friday. ooh. i want to go. i've only heard one song. but i still want to go.
john says, "i gotta do the do, alicia."
that's my cue to go and work. john has to poop.
peace.
current mood: bored
current music: backwoods nation - pedro the lion.
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| Friday, May 24th, 2002
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2:22 am
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my parents are out of town until saturday.
my boyfriend has been staying at my house since monday.
tuesday night i saw pedro the lion with my brother. it was really good.
school is almost over. a final tomorrow. and one on tuesday. then that's it.
my boyfriend just shot me down. i was up studying, and he went to sleep a couple of hours ago. i crawled into bed and started to kiss his neck and molest him and such. and he said, "baby, i'm so tired." d'oh. i've had so much pepsi and sugar today that i am wide awake. so i layed in bed next to him for a few minutes and then decided to come check my email... sigh.
my brother and i are going to go see n*e*r*d in june. i am fucking excited.
i have started listening to tori a lot lately. mmmmm. i love tori so much.
i have talked to sam a lot more lately, too. i love sam. i hope we get to hang out soon. (p.s. sam - good luck with marshall this weekend.)
what else, what else?
i want to get a new job. and i want to see some new movies. and i want to play my gamecube more. and buy 007 and resident evil and super monkey ball.
tuesday the 28th is my half-birthday. and also, my 6 monthiversary with gabe. i think i am going to take him out to dinner. depending on if i can trade days with someone, cos i usually close on tuesday nights. and i promised nikke i'd take her out on wednesday night. so i have to trade for monday or thursday. and casey can't trade cos he's opening tuesday. so i guess i have to ask brett to trade with me again. (he traded with me this week so i could go see pedro.)
i need a fucking haircut. and my eyebrows need a waxin'.
bah.
current mood: awake
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| Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
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7:03 pm - my favorite song (of the moment).
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magazine. by pedro the lion.
this line is metaphysical. and on the one side, on the one side, the bad half live in wickedness. and on the other side, on the other side. the good half live in arrogance. and there's a steep slope, with a short rope. this line is metaphysical. and there's a steady flow, movin' to and fro. oh look you earned your wings. are you an angel now? or a vulture? constantly hovering over, waiting for a big mistake. oh my god, what have i done? wouldn't you love to be on the cover of a magazine? healthy skin, perfect teeth - designed to hide what lies beneath. i feel the darkness growing stronger, as you cram light down my throat. how does that work out for you in your holy quest to be above reproach?
current mood: bored
current music: magazine - pedro the lion.
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| Saturday, May 4th, 2002
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1:29 pm
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i just smashed my fucking pinky while trying to use this little step stool. i am such a fucking spazz.
cornelius died today. fish are hard to figure out. when we fed the fish before we went to sleep, he seemed fine. but this morning he was stuck in the little plastic plant. :(
[my brother says, "alicia's mood is angry. 87 hours a fucking day. she needs fuckin' anger management."
i do get angry a lot. but i don't need anger management. i don't yell. and i don't beat up people or things. i just stew in my own juices most of the time. or i spit on things. mmmm. spit.
john says, "you beat me up." which is not exactly true. sometimes i head-butt him. but that's because that's pretty much the only thing i can do to hurt/incapacitate him. when we were growing up he used to beat me and hurt my feelings all the time. he deserves a little head-butt now and then.]
so when i get home i am going to clean my fish tank. maybe i'll go buy some new fish. since those algae suckers weren't working out for me (dying and whatnot.) i think i'll get one of those snails. they're cute.
i have decided that i need to get in shape. i think i am going to take individual conditioning during the summer. maybe that will help me out a little. and once it gets warmer i can swim.
there is a girl in the store who is flirting with my brother. awww. how cute.
okay. i guess i better get to work now.
p.s. i need a haircut.
xo.
current mood: angry
current music: pedro the lion.
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| Thursday, May 2nd, 2002
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3:01 pm
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i have the best boyfriend in the world.
this is what he said in a text message he sent me earlier today:
"Just thinking about you. I love you. You make me so happy. I never knew that my life could be this good. I only hope you're as happy as I am."
sigh.
he's so precious.
i love him so much. he makes me happier than i've ever been.
current mood:  loved
current music: rapture - pedro the lion.
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| Tuesday, April 30th, 2002
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6:10 pm - how appropriate.
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| Friday, April 26th, 2002
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11:39 am
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rivers cuomo is a fucking asshole.
okay, i was just reading the article about weezer in the new pulse! magazine. and the "stand out" quote is...
"For the most part, emo is worthless. Pinkerton is worthless. And all of it is gonna die. It's bad music. I really think that. It's just not rock."
rivers can eat a dick.
it's pretty fucking sad that he hates the only incredible album he'll ever put out. i mean, i liked the first weezer cd. and the third was okay. i haven't heard the new one, but i do hear that it's just more poppy bullshit. weezer is just boring now. he talks about pinkerton and emo being "not rock"... the shit he puts out now doesn't even rock anyway.
on the publicity run for the green album, rivers said in a magazine article in details, or spin, or something... "i don't know what emo is, but i guess i had something to do with it." which couldn't be more false. i'm sure he didn't know what it was, but weezer had nothing to do with emo. emo was around before rivers cuomo even thought about writing any of the songs for pinkerton, which is considered their most "emo" album.
bands like fugazi. rites of spring. embrace. jawbox. moss icon. *they* had something to do with emo. weezer had nothing to do with it. (and, all of those bands rock more than weezer ever did, or will.)
how can someone so easily dismiss something they didn't even know about until a year ago.
i'll admit, was just about excited as everyone else when there was talk of a new weezer album. i love pinkerton, so i was expecting something great. unfortunately, like a lot of you, i was extremely let down by the green album. and in the midst of all of the weezer-related hype, i did go see them play quite a few times. at first i was estatic. but by the 4th or 5th time, i was standing at the back of the crowd, avoiding kids who were in gradeschool when the first weezer albums came out, and waiting for them to play something from pinkerton, which they rarely ever did.
weezer is shite. i'm very disappointed that rivers is condemning pinkerton, an album they put out at the height of their creativity. their music now just bores me.
ahem.
time to get back to work.
current mood: aggravated
current music: badly drawn boy.
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| Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002
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7:26 pm
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i'm at work. i put out all of the records. and i processed and put out all of the tapes. i priced all of the new dvds. i cleaned up the whole store.
now i am bored. i guess i could read. but i think i'd fall asleep.
what i really should do is work on my take-home quizzes for my class. but, needless to say, i haven't gotten that bored yet. yet.
it's getting chilly in here. i s'pose i should turn off the a/c. i can't believe that my boss can spend all day in here and not turn on the air. my boss must have blew up the bathroom, i can hear the fan in there going. (must have blown up the bathroom, i guess. but hey, if i'm gonna use slang, i'm not going to worry anout grammar...)
right now i am reading kurt vonnegut's cat's cradle. on saturday i also bought deadeye dick (by the same author.) and invisible monsters, by chuck pakdfldjfkldsf (the guy who wrote fight club) for gabe. gabe loves fight club. he read the book while we were on vacation in oregon. i read less than zero. i was less than impressed...
i am determined to read all of kurt vonnegut's books. so far i have read: timequake, breakfast of champions, galapagos, player piano, bluebeard, and slaughterhouse five. i have read some of wampeters foma and gran falloons. (i think that's the title.) but then i guess i forgot i had it.
ah well.
i wish david would send me my pictures. sucka.
i guess i should go pay the customers that are wandering around in here some attention.
peace.
current music: instrument - fugazi.
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