Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ez's LiveJournal:

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Monday, July 16th, 2001
7:55 pm	I'm baaack! I haven't been around here in a while (and if anyone noticed, let me know. I'll be very surprised indeed) because (of all the dumb things) I forgot the web address. Doh. Anyhoo, thanks to a chance encounter, I have rediscovered my lost confindante. It's like randomly coming across a childhood friend, except not. Also I've been so cryptic even I don't know what I'm talking about. Good, eh? Current Mood: ditzy Current Music: Star Wars 1 - The Phantom Menace (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
12:01 am	Still... Still, you've gotta feel sorry for the guy. I mean, he must be down too. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Wonderful - Everclear (Comment on this)
Monday, June 18th, 2001
11:51 pm	Limp, u suck. Bloody cancelling bloody sell out tour not that i had a bloody ticket and way. To quote a Limp CD: Fuck Limp Bizkit, man. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Wonderful - Everclear (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 17th, 2001
9:40 pm	I am and i can't wait to get out of here I want out. I want out now. Waaaaaaaa. I wanna go to university but I don't want to have to work now . Blah blah BLAH. Current Mood: unsatisfied. Current Music: Take off your pants and jacket (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
7:15 pm	Hey! Hello? Is anybody out there? Yoo-hoo! Over here!.........................................dammit I'm in a good mood. I just failed my Chemistry exam, 1/3 of yr grade, basis of uni entrance etc. Good thing I wasn't planning on going in for the sciences, eh? Got a makeover at MAC as well. Lee & I went...And now I've got study leave! Hahahaha. That's a laugh. Catch me studying! I'm just looking forward to the massive piss up at the end... Current Mood: happy Current Music: Nobody Wins (?) - Offspring (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 9th, 2001
12:41 am	Pissed Again I really like being drunk (ish). It removes inhibitions, makes me talk French (!) and is generally quite entertaining. I just really enjoy it. Hehehehe I think I told Lance. I wanted to get off w/ him. Oops. I mean, he's Ok, but I was really after S. (2nite) or M. (long run!!!). I could really do w/ some attention! I think I just told this person I really really like them but because it's on MSN messanger, I don't know who it is!!! Ooops. Now what??? Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: Gorrillaz - Clint Eastwood (Comment on this)
12:33 am	Hehehehe Piste again!!! Current Mood: drunk Current Music: Violence - some old movie on Bravo (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 6th, 2001
9:47 pm	Revelation I have realised what is wrong with my life, or at least found a metaphor to suite the symptoms, which is equally comforting. Essentially, I feel trapped by school, school work and school associated activities. I crave the freedom of university. Most days I feel like (simile, not metaphor, sorry) a bird desperately battering its wings against the bar of the cage that holds it, knowing that if I batter my wings bloody enough long enough i will eventually get free. However, I have now lost the will to try and break free and (to mix & muddle my metaphors) am sinking into a morass the wot of is not known. This is convinient because (a.) it is nice & cheesy (b.) it explains why I have fantasy/visions of myself drumming on the windows of the car on the way to school, in the way birds fight to be free when they get in the house and (c.) also fits in with me wanting to jump off things and the blood beating fits in with cutting. Which I have stopped doing. So, it's all very satisfying and crap but not very motivating and I don't want to go to school or do homework which is why I wind up doing it at 5 in the morning the day after it is due. I think I missed something. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Shining Light - Ash (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 3rd, 2001
6:23 pm	Yawn It's a sleepy, rainy Sunday afternoon. Last night I stayed at Lee's. Her parents got her her own place. She's so lucky. I wish my folks would chuck me out. I crave the independance of university but I can't be bothered to work so the chances of me getting in are perhaps minimal. Still, in one year I will be free from the chains called family, at least to a certain extent. I can't wait for summer! Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Cherry Bomb - Ash (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 30th, 2001
10:34 am	Skipping again - ooh, I'm a rebel, me. Life is sweet. I am faking sick today. I haven't had a full week of school since Easter, I think. I don't remember! I was supposed to hand in all this homework today but I really didn't feel like doing (I can't do half of it anyway and the rest got screwed up which is annoying) hence the shamming. To the best of my knowledge, I've only done this twice before, a couple of years ago, but I think I may have actually been sick then but not wanted to be so pretended I wasn't but I was so I had to stay home anyway. Which is just silly. I haven't done anything at all productive today. Which is nice. Still, it's only (!) 10:30. Plenty of time as no one's going to be back tonight either. I'm wondering whether or not to fake it again tomorrow. That would certainly be more awkward as da will be home all day. Still, it's only a sore throat I said I've got, along with a generally grotty feeling, so I could (hypothetically) be feeling a bit better tomorrow and be cured by Friday. The risk is, if I don't go to school on Friday, the folks will insist I get looked after (i.e. not go to Lee's) this weekend. Which, to put it crudely, would suck. I'd better go do the bloody homework which is the reason I'm skipping. The whole method to doing things like this and not getting caught is image. If X (that kid is every school who everyone knows skips constantly) has a dental appointment, it's dodgey, even if it's legit. If I cut 8 periods a week, for 2 weeks inside a month, no one notices as I have carefully given the image of it being absolutely impossible for me to skip school. Which is nice. Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: sound of a lawnmower (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 27th, 2001
1:13 pm	Life is good... I've just got back from looking at universities ... and having my first ever one night stand thing! For the first time ever, I randomly (well, no, not randomly, I'm not that much of a nympho) picked a guy up in a bar! Very interesting experience, although I don't think my room mate was too pleased! Still, she was the one who kicked me out the next night so she could have the room to herself...and any compagny that might, you know, happen to drop in... Poor me, I had didn't get that kind of attention...Possibly a good thing?!?!?! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Lady Marmalade - All Saints (Comment on this)
10:34 am	Pissed again Today is pretty good. Nothing much is happening & I got quite a bit of sleep which is unusual & definatly welcome. The last couple of days have been hectic! The universties were all very interesting, blah, blah, blah, but, more importantly (perhaps?) since I already know where I want to go, we got to go out each night - sans supervision - and despite the drinking age being (to the best of my knowledge) 18, we managed to shop at the local offlicense and get served in the local pub. (Well, the one up the road, I guess, as it wasn't quite the closest.) Result: J. got smashed every night, as did D.. C. - despite his girlfriend, but then, she wasn't there was she? - had a bit much on the last night and...well, we won't go into 'and'. Even L. got a little bit pissed, (read: 'she was drunk') probably because she knew her mum couldn't come get her and her boyfriend drinks and it was his birthday (but she started the night before) and she had a massive fight with D. (her ex.). This is very typical and very boring. Basically, we spent an hour waiting for them in the lobby (current boyfriend, G., included) then got bored (!) and went to the pub. A couple of hours (!) later, she turns up and D. storms straight by. G. & C. & ne one else in side, comfort/sort out/feed alcohol to L. and I chase after D. It was worth it in the end. All he wanted was some alcohol (whiskey - 40% proof!!!) and someone to listen. I pointed out a few things, e.g. 'She's not yours to protect anymore' and 'she doesn't need protecting anyway' and 'don't be such a prat' which weren't recieved very well, but D. has always been stubborn. He has to be to cope with his dad, but this is getting out of hand. Yes, she was screwing him around, dumping him, snogging him for 2 months after, then without warning, moving on to snogging someone else, but he has to let go at some point, or kill her! ('If i can't have her, no one can') Current Mood: recumbent (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 20th, 2001
1:04 am	Okay... I am confused and should go into a confused home. Actually, being locked up would make quite a refreshing change. I would enjoy the attention and could cope with the lack of independance (at least until it drove me insane). Or visa versa, less attention, more independance, but now sucks! I am going to bed. It is time. It is time for bed. It is bed-time. Eurch. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: I can't dance thing (Comment on this)
12:38 am	I can't talk, I can't dance the only thing about me is the way I walk... I'm in such a weird mood tonight. It's warbling between ecstatic and disquieted but I think will settle there... Ech. This whole thing feels slightly . I don't think there is a word for this feeling. It's a kind of emptiness which sucks in joy, like a fire hose turned on flames, and dampens the surroundings so the feeble sparks that follow hereafter have no hope of re-igniting a flame for many moons... Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: The song with the lyrics in the title (Comment on this)
12:03 am	Full Frontal Snogging... This is very weird. I'm writing this in lots of separate entries in an attempt to organise my thoughts...Yesterday, I spent the night at a friend's house & we made out for a bit (which is normal). Then he told me he came in his pants, which isn't (we were just kissing & cuddling, no, e.g. lower body stuff) which was odd. He then 'explained' that this kind of takes the fun out of the whole thing so we chatted briefly before he packed me off downstairs (very, very quietly for fear of his parents) and went to sleep. Poor baby, had to get up early. So, I went back downstairs & found out that 'my' room was, erm, occupied so went to crash w/ this guy I've known FOREVER. Now the weirdness starts. He got me a coke & a blanket on the couch, nice & cozy, & we started talking. (It's quite cold there as the heating's off for summer or something) So, there we are, talking & rotting our teeth at 2 AM. He is obviously freezing his...kneecaps off so I let him under the blanket & give him a hug to warm him up. The we wind up kissing...and more! And it's odd, because he's the best kisser, shall we say, I've ever met and he's also this guy I've known forever! If he were just one of them, it would be OK but both is weird! No, we did not have sex. Current Mood: disquieted Current Music: Robbie Williams - Strong (Comment on this)
12:01 am	Ash Yesterday, I went to the best concert ever. It was so gorgeous it makes me sound like one of those hyperactiveboybandfans (i'm not sure which one I intend to suggest is hyperactive, the band or the band's fans [or the band's fans' band. Or...] so I'll leave it like that. Which was nice. I used to get in trouble for saying that but I guess that would go in the memories section so I'll just keep talking. Ooooh they're gorgeous! (and I don't mean that in the purely physical sense - I have a habit of using adjectives outside the normal lines set by standard English standards. Bear with me...) Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Ash - Burn Baby Burn (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 19th, 2001
11:17 pm	Ticket seeking. I might, possibly, maybe be getting a ticket for this concert I really really really really really really want to go to (Limp Bizkit anyone?) Which would be nice. The only thing is, can one trust an internet stranger? I don't want to wind up sending/shelling out mucho cash for a fake or nothing how can I find out if he's for real??? Current Mood: glad Current Music: Gorrillaz - Clint Eastwood (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 17th, 2001
11:13 pm	Blondes! The other day, I was sitting in an extra special, superdooper chem class and I realised (ta da da DAH) that there are different kinds of blondes! I never noticed that before. (Dim aren't i?)This epifany occured while I was idally staring at the two girls sitting in front of me. (Both pretty fit, I might add) One was the typical, Midwest farmer's daughter, strawberry blonde (the crux of the epifany!! I now know what that is!) while the other was Auzzie beach blonde, sunstreaked. One curled slightly the other not. Different textures, shades, tones, wow! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: ER theme tune (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 16th, 2001
8:37 pm	Homework . . . a.k.a. "Bite me" Grr...gotta go do gobs of gobshiting galling gomework. Hehehehe. I hate school. I hate school. I HATE SCHOOL. I wanna quit & leave home & ... go to university! I'm just a seething mass of contradtictions so go bite a fish. (Aparently this is a deadly insult...I can't see why exactly but I've seen the effects...dah dah DAH...) Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: that damn advert again! (Comment on this)
8:03 pm	Lonely I had a good old rant to my brother today about how lonely & neglected I feel by my friends sometimes. We used to hang out a lot (like every other weekend or something) as a group but we haven't been anywhere as a group in at least 6 months. OK, we did go out for dinner this one time but everyone scattered immediatly afterwards. I just wish we could hang out again! I also (and this is the truely bitchtastic part) wish my friends weren't so darn happy with each other! Or rather, I wish they weren't so darn PREOCCUPIED with each other that talking to them is a nightmare! (The one where you're invisible & being eaten alive & screaming for help but either no one can hear you or no one cares). I love my friends to bits (well, most of the time) but lately it feels like I haven't got any! L has G, D is preoccupied with his EX, A&C; are thisclose and there's not really any room for anyone else in their fights - or even (especially?) when they're not fighting. J has Alc. and well, everyone has someone! I feel left out! I'm hanging with Mo, who I don't know very well but like & her friends. P's all right but My and Che get on my nerves no end! I just want my own friends back! Is that too much to ask? No, seriously, I am I being too demanding & needy & shit? I haven't actually told anyone except for lil' bro'... Could that be the problem? Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: none (Comment on this)