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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
A.V. Phibes' LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, July 31st, 2002 | |
| 1:16 am | Why Alex and I have such a great relationship: So I'm on the phone with Alex and he's once again spotted the mouse that's been running amok in his house for some time. While preparing the mousetrap, he says "I'm going to anally rape this mouse if it doesn't eat this peanut butter." To which I say "Yipe. That mouse isn't even as big as your dick!" Which started a rousing debate as to which had a greater circumference: his erect penis or a mouse. Alex seemed to think that the mouse was bigger, but since I have more experience with both penises and mice and having them in my hands, I assured him that it was very unlikely that the mouse was bigger than his dick. I suggested that perhaps it was a small rat, which would be much closer to his penile dimensions. We continued to debate about this until he assured me that, if he trapped the mouse, he would take a picture of it next to his dick for comparative analysis. This was my own perception of the situation:  Later, we ended up talking about garroting possums, but that's another story altogether. Current Mood:  dorky |
| Tuesday, July 30th, 2002 | |
| 9:34 pm | simple amusements I realized, in reading my friends page, that what I really want to do is fill in polls. So now I'm typing in random poll numbers and answering random people's polls. Fun city! Current Mood:  amused |
| 7:30 pm | The ongoing quest for efficiency. Yesterday I bought and installed an air conditioner which, I must say, are long overdue acts. No longer shall the heat opress me and keep me my from my appointed tasks! Speaking of heat and appointed tasks. Today, as yesterday, I was obliged to leave my apartment and venture out into the million degree heat...all to spend five minutes showing someone a piece of paper and having them say two sentences in response. Upon leaving, I was vexed by the inefficiency of it. There are reasons why email was invented. Speaking of efficiency, I cannot endorse OfficeMax.com highly enough. Epson inkjet cartriges delivered to my door in less than 24 hours! With no shipping and handling fee! Speaking of shipping and handling, XXX TEEN SLUT Alex will be coming down on the chinese bus soon so that I can caress his ripe, supple manflesh while simultaneously loving him for his mind. And speaking of supple manflesh, I was looking at Dan Savage's Tighty Whities Contest and couldn't help but note that the boy with the most Alex-esque physique is in the top ten! (he was in first place, but he seems to have slipped) I just knew my little Alex could be a gay pinup superstar! I just knew it! |
| Monday, July 29th, 2002 | |
| 12:03 pm | 1. plea for advisement 1. advisement. Does anyone know of some cheap mode of transportation between New York and Washington D.C.? Something akin to the $15 NY/Boston Chinatown bus...only to DC? And now my advice for the day: If you have an Epson inkjet printer, always buy Epson ink cartriges. Under no circumstances should you ever be tempted to buy the Staples brand (which claim compatibility) as they are horrible beyond belief. So horrible that I'm going to have to go to Kinkos to print out the samples I have to show this afternoon because they're an unintelligable, streaky mess thanks to these satan ink cartriges. |
| Saturday, July 27th, 2002 | |
| 11:11 pm | Freudian Typo? Earlier today, when writing an email to a past paramour, I tried to type the sentence "Hope all is well" and it came out "Hope ass is well." Good thing I cought it in time. |
| Thursday, July 25th, 2002 | |
| 1:40 pm | May/December This post is in honor of  lara7Alex: How'd you get that scar on your hand? Alia: I punched a wall on accident in 4th grade...the scar isn't so much from the punching, but from picking the scab repeatedly. You know how it is when you're in 4th grade. Alex: I remember 4th grade. I voted for Clinton in the mock election. Alia: Wow. I voted for Clinton in the REAL election. |
| Wednesday, July 24th, 2002 | |
| 6:07 pm | *cough* I am sick and it's all Alex's fault. My only solace is the fact that the Rock beat Kurt Angle on Vengeance. The Rock brought the whuppin' and Angle brought the ass. Also, on an unrelated note, Billy Nayer Show tonight. Rah! Current Mood:  sickCurrent Music: The Rock "Pie" |
| 5:25 pm | I'm not an "artist" I'm a "producer of graphic collateral" Oh diary, If I didn't have pink hair, would people still assume I was liberal? |
| 1:59 pm | Because paying union dues entitles one to professional indignance. When I was a young aspiring artist, an older, wiser, yoda-like artist told me some vital truths about the art industry that I will now pass on to the youth of America: Artist, probably more than any other skilled workers, are EXPECTED to work for free, and that, my friends, is whack. Does a company go up to a lawyer and say "Hey, could you prepare our legal defense? It'll be great exposure for you!" Do you go to the dentist and say, "I really need three fillings...I'll give you name credit and a link your website!" Of course not, because they'd be like "are you crazy? Get out of here!" and yet artists are expected to accept slave-monkey status (usually under the assumption that artists LOVE doing art SO MUCH, and SO DESPERATELY want people to see it, that OF COURSE they'll do it for free!) Okay, step back and think for a minute about how many people you know who can do professional quality artwork? 1 out of 50? 1 out of 100? 1 out of 200? The point I'm getting at here is that it's a specialized skill. Okay, now think about how many people you know who can wait tables (or could at least be trained to do so in a few days), probably most of them, right? So why are most waiters making more money than most artists? Well, okay, supply and demand, etc. but the point I'm driving at is this whole notion that most jobs one would never dream of asking someone to do for nothing, but artists are still treated like sluts instead of whores. Unfortunately, the awful truth is that I only got to a point where I could get paying jobs by doing years and years of free work to get "exposure" and "experience" and "portfolio pieces"...so even though NOW when I'm asked to do something for free because it's "great exposure" I can say "I'm already exposed...now pony up some bread, yo." There's still probably someone out there itching to do it for nothing. Is there any winning in this situation? Probably not. Grrr. Current Mood: indignant Current Music: Ludacris "You's a Ho" |
| Wednesday, July 17th, 2002 | |
| 2:24 pm | Alex is a "great artist" Alex wants me to post these portraits he did of me so that I can show that I "respect his art."   Current Music: Tricky "Evolution Revolution Love" |
| Tuesday, July 16th, 2002 | |
| 11:36 pm | Is it hot in here or is it just us? I'm so happy Alex is here. It's been as romantic as this. We've also been eating a lot. It's hot. |
| Sunday, July 14th, 2002 | |
| 2:28 am | Product Development It seems that the inimitable ravenfacePoll #46548: The Tissue Issue Open to: all, results viewable to: all I prithee, name these smiting papers! View Answers Got any better ideas? View Answers Current Mood: whimsical Current Music: Drunk Polish Teens shouting outside my window |
| Saturday, July 13th, 2002 | |
| 4:38 pm | Kids these days... The following girl's T-shirt is available from Alloy for $18.  I can only speculate that today's youth reveres "Saved By The Bell" simply because they never tasted the sweet, sweet fruits of "Parker Lewis Can't Lose." |
| Friday, July 12th, 2002 | |
| 7:25 pm | And then the sun came out and there were flowers and butterflies MY DSL IS BACK ON!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! All those calls this week paid off. Life is good again. This means that I can once again access the internet on my main computer and everything looks beeeyoootiful. On an unrelated note re: AliAlex™ pay-per-view: There will be no full frontal nudity. Sorry. ß |
| 3:48 pm | Sweetening the deal To prove that we are "marketing geniuses" and not just "feckless beggars", fidelity_astroavphibes(Note: this pay-per-view offer is only available to LJ users.) " |
| Thursday, July 11th, 2002 | |
| 8:53 pm | Help youth at risk (of not making out with me) Gentle readers, I'm here to tell you about the plight of fidelity_astroUnable to find employment in this harsh economic climate, and unwilling to let her pay his way like a man-whore, he and his lady remain apart. They haven't made out in a week... don't let it be longer! For the cost of a cup of coffee (or three or five), you could help romance prevail. > |
| Wednesday, July 10th, 2002 | |
| 2:17 am | Trying to get my life in order. I woke up on monday morning determined to get my life in order and become a dynamic, productive, sociable go-getter. Unfortunately, it's hot and I'm rather lazy, leading me to the conclusion that I need to buy an air conditioner if I'm ever going to be a better person. I started off right by getting up before noon. Then I left my room, stepped over all the sleeping goth band members and boys making out and went to the store to buy toilet paper, Dran-o™ and a Swiffer™. Having clean floors and a sink that's not full of stagnant water and shaving scum is a very important step in living a better life. As for toilet paper, I must say that wenever we have individuals of a gothic bent staying at the apartment, they go through toilet paper like nobody's business. All of a sudden my normally manageable bathroom wastebasket is overflowing with lipstick-covered tissue wads. This fact, of course, leads me to a brilliant niche-product idea of tissues specifically made for and marketed to goths. They could be quilted with some sort of pseudo-victorian winged beast pattern, come in a faux onyx box and be sold at underground specialty shops next those spiked bracelets and fangs. Unfortunately, I already have too many brilliant ideas I have to work on, so I'm going to give this one away for free. e |
| Sunday, July 7th, 2002 | |
| 8:08 pm | Whoop!!! My website is finally back! I guess deciding to transfer the domain name to a new registrar at the same time I was changing hosts was not the best idea. Still, though, my cyber-life feels whole again. Now if only I could get my damned DSL back already... Last night I went out to see Ghostorchid, the Current Mood:  okayCurrent Music: Placebo "Pure Morning" |
| Saturday, July 6th, 2002 | |
| 5:44 pm | Sexy robots Boston was a hot and humid delight. I ate a lot of pizza and bowled and observed exuberant, shirtless youths smacking each other in the chest. I also saw "Mr. Deeds" which I thought was brilliantly fantastic, although Alex begs to differ. Yesterday I returned home and there was a goth band from San Francisco staying in my apartment. They washed my sheets, though, which was nice. Then we all went out for Micki's birthday and drank a lot and ate chinese food and went to various clubs and danced to various songs and staggered home in a haze. This morning we had brunch. I am now officially four days behind in my work which means that I have to do a lot of sketching and phone-calling and writing numbers in columns and typing indignant letters today. At least it's not terribly hot anymore. |
| Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002 | |
| 12:35 pm | To Whom it may concern: I will be out of the office until Friday. I'm going to Boston to bowl and eat pizza and spend quality time with I will still be reachable via telephone and email. Please advise. b |
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