| 12:45pm 25/06/2002 | ||||
We were together for five years after an unexpected introduction by my roommate at the time. The first year was rocky; she had emotional problems after multiple assaults, death threats and attempts on her life, and a natural predisposition towards rapid bipolarity. One year later we planned an evening to commemorate out reasonably significant success in holding on through the freakish outbursts and uncontrolled emotion. We sat in my pickup, in the theater parking lot after dinner but before the show and she told me her biopsy diagnosis had come back positive for cancer that morning. She was 25 years old. I was 23. The next month was spent in the oncology ward at Kaiser Midtown. I brought my sketchbook and drew fauna and surreptitious portraits. She sat in a sticky vinyl chair and withered while they pumped nausea inducing poison into her bloodstream. For the next eleven months she self-injected that same poison into her legs every other day. She weighed less than 100lbs by the end. The next few years are blurry to me. We did normal couple things, fighting and ignoring each other as if we were Catholic. Fucking like there was no tomorrow, and there really wasn't a tomorrow. She wanted to sleep with a woman again, so she did. I learned how to deal with that, and some things about myself that I didn't know. I found some people that I related to very deeply. She didn't like that so I cooled it for a couple months. She went to Chicago in the winter of 2001 to see her mother through cancer. When she came home I put away my aversion to marriage in general thinking that I could compromise for the sake of a continued future. She was growing suddenly in leaps and bounds - seeking education and a career in something she was good at. We were married in the fall, the equinox simply by coincidence. Our honeymoon was simple, but awkward. None of the things we used to have between us were present. I knew in December that something was horribly wrong. She didn't talk about it other than to say she was angry. In February of this year she left for a weekend without explanation or even a heads-up. She met someone then, a lesbian raising a child alone. They connected and four days later my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Colorado is a no fault state, and any filing will be ratified simply on the grounds of "irreconcilable differences". Suddenly my wife wanted children, and butch dykes. She wanted to be treated like shit again, the way she'd been treated in the past. We cosigned on a loan the next morning and she started looking for a place to live. She called me, because today it's over. She asked if she could buy me dinner. One of our mutual friends told me her new girlfriend tried to lay into her with a baseball bat. I told her it wasn't a good idea. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Today marks the day it all gets validated, the judge signs papers and suddenly we're not married anymore. I remember sitting in a little room in a courthouse signing papers just as quickly and not being single anymore. |
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| Read 12 - Post | ||||
| Um. | |||
| 06:31pm 15/05/2002 | |||
| yeah, whatever makes you happy | |||
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| I don't know why | |||
| 05:25pm 08/05/2002 | |||
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For some reason I'm sitting here in the office, mostly alone save for one of my long-time chums and some part-time, teenage chippy that has the visual qualities of a superb lay. I finished up my work at about 5 after 5, and I sat down, turned WinAmp back on and just started staring into the depths of the screen. So I'm still groggy from not getting much sleep, thinking I have much work to do to make room for Kuroryu and his cello on Friday. Many boxes. Stereo components without a home. A W2K server & ISA installation to finish. Gah. It was worth it, yes indeedy. I haven't had a good mellow buzz like that in too long.  asherah23 makes a good drinkin' buddy and she took a shine to Laphroaig. Woohoo! |
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| Some survey crappola. Yeah, I get a burr once in a while. | |||
| 04:03pm 07/05/2002 | |||
| ( give it a miss if you find surveys distasteful ) | |||
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| Aggrevated Assault | |||
| 02:07pm 07/05/2002 | |||
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The vacuum was a sour-smelling reminder of how nasty the carpet was in the old place, but it got the job done. More... |
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| Yellow Light | |||
| 10:53am 06/05/2002 | |||
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I left work to see Spiderman on Friday. I was amused. I'm sure there will be those out there who were not, and I have this to say to you: ... No, I really don't have anything to say to you. It was decent cinema. I got in free, so the price was definitely right. Though maybe I should at least offer the price of my ticket back to the guy who bought it. Hmmm...nah, I'll just buy lunch next time. It reaffirmed for me that I do indeed have a turgid place in my pants for Kirsten Dunst. Have ever since they put the pointy gnashers in her little child mouth for Interview with a Vampire. Now she's all growed up and nipply in the rain and yep yep. Anyway. Red hair dye doesn't hurt anything either. This weekend... ( Long, and dreary ) |
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| You don't bring me flowers, anymore | |||
| 01:27pm 28/04/2002 | |||
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So I've made about as much of this weekend as I think I'm ever going to. It's barely the afternoon and I'm thinking I'm in for the day. Gee, I never even went out. Woof. I fumbled through an update just now. It details the more recent events, and has some rather good news (good for me anyway). I wonder if I should just jam out my thoughts on bathrooms here for all to see? Hm. This cross-posting stuff can be tedious, can't it? |
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| Read 2 - Post | |||
| New stuff | |||
| 04:59pm 26/04/2002 | |||
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To bad the writing isn't mine. Oh well. Yep, there's a new piece of writing on Primitive-Behaviours. And I've updated. |
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| 08:59am 25/04/2002 | |||
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There's something indescribable about a room full of people charged to capacity on the radiation from Ronan Harris. I went to see this show, fat on ginger-soaked bird from Saigon, and I will go back again, and again. For the bird and for VNV. |
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| 08:12pm 16/04/2002 | |||
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So instead of leaving work tonight, I ended up bullshitting in the parking lot with a couple of my old friends (who also happen to work for my client, go figure). We walked over to Papadeoux's for drinks and DasCliff asked me if I'd done any more writing. I had to say no, because otherwise I'd be lying. When he asked me why not I prattled off the politically acceptable, "Getting married killed my muse" (this is in fact untrue, it was the 5 years of involvement with the future ex-wife that killed my muse, but close enough.) So in his flippant fashion he said, "Track her down, man! Call her parents. Look her up on 'Classmates'." I thought this was extraordinarily funny until it dawned on me who he was talking about. Dammit. I'd be lying if I tried to say I haven't thought about her (actually them) on and off since my first 10yr. reunion started peering at me from around the corner. ----- On a completely unrelated aside, this is my squid: Squid Tattoo |
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| Read 2 - Post | |||
| Hangover | |||
| 10:46am 15/04/2002 | |||
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I think I've found a slightly more simplistic way of updating LJ and MT. The link in this snippet points at the appropriate Horologe expanded entry view rather than the Horologe main page. A trivial detail, certainly, but it could be important later. (I need a holster for my bottle of Listerine.) Hold the back of the jewelry and suck on it. This will clear the piercing of any trapped particles and pus. Doesn't that sound scrumptious? |
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| 03:15pm 12/04/2002 | |||
| What a sleepy week this has been | |||
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| 03:33pm 11/04/2002 | |||
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This is fun: http://www.rain-street.org/fightcrime.htm |
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| Read 4 - Post | |||
| Legos, anyone? | |||
| 10:45am 11/04/2002 | |||
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Holy shit! http://www.ericharshbarger.org/lego/emily.html |
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| Read 2 - Post | |||
| 12:16am 11/04/2002 | |||
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This is me. Though I'm not a big H&K; guy. ( If I were a firearm... ) |
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| An evening (wasted) with IHT | |||
| 07:18pm 10/04/2002 | |||
| ( This is for those who like to cook. Or laugh at me. Either one. ) | |||
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| 06:38pm 10/04/2002 | |||
| my life is still a regular corn-holing lubricated only by the periodic overindulgence in one of my various vices | |||
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| 04:58pm 09/04/2002 | |||
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I use Mozilla under Linux/KDE & under Win2k Workstation & Server. I am a tab whore. ::holds up a candle:: CTRL-T if you love tabs. |
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| Read 2 - Post | |||
| 10:23am 09/04/2002 | |||
| And through this whole conversation she sat there topless, in a thong. This is why it pays to discover the Discover card. | |||
| Read 10 - Post | |||
| 09:55pm 07/04/2002 | |||
| Life is a battle, but we are not warriors. We are more the family left in the aftermath investigating the fallen and shouting our damnations at the sky. | |||
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|
ithastalons |
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