Let's cast ourselves into the abyssal hole of boredom, where silliness reigns. Here, we see several rows of cells... each of these cells contains a rather unique organism, all known as characters. These characters exhibit the oddest behaviours inherent to them in their respective habitats.

We've tried to mimic these habitats, so these characters might not diverge from their regular behaviours; and here, behind the thick glass, we observe.

Cell-42 habitat has been offline for several hours, and our engineers should have it fixed in a few minutes. The characters have experienced a brief period of habitat-less-ness. We will remedy the problem once the environment is back online.

But what's that noise..?

ACK!

Someone just blew up the side of a cell! NO! The characters can't mix with each other! AAAAUGH!

There's no escape! Save yourselves, run for your lives, the characters are loose!!!

[

mood

|

silly

]

Song quote:

"Everything is changing,
there's no one left that's real..."

-----

I had weird dreams about pool tables, pubs and tentacled cthulian monsters last night. Among other things. Heh.

Game went okay, I could have made it more oogie, but no big deal. We had far too many running gags... My brother's character was named Raphael. So I told him he had an older brother named Leonardo, and a younger brother named Donatello. And Michaelangelo was killed somehow. ~_~

I told Roland his character's mother was Bright. So he said "Can I be Lucent?!"

Then my brother kept mixing Roland and Lucent, and calling him Lotion.

And I had a Shaman named Ramen.

...

Ehm. Anyway. At least I didn't call them the Village People. I did that in an adventure once... It was the Town of Village...

I have way too much fun for my own good.

[	mood	|	lethargic	]
[	music	|	voices in my head.	]

lmao.. I hate conversations in my head. My role-playing characters are talking to each other, and I get to listen in. [can anyone tell I'm bored?]

"I can't go to school today. My cat died."
"...Dom, you don't have a cat."

¬_¬ "...Well not anymore, he died!!"
"What was his name?"

"um.. his name was.. Furball."
"Oh, that's very original."

"Well he was a hairy cat!!"
"Anyway, you're going to school."

"My kid sister ran away? A dog ate my homework! ...Platypi invaded the world in their strangely sinister space ships, and they're hell-bent on destroying our society through the mindless drones of teachers!"
"I'm not buying it."

"...Then I suppose the lobster story is-"
"Don't even try."

"Dammit."

-----

"Who plays basketball, anyway."
"Well, apparently not him anymore."

"...He should have watched where he was going."
"Yes, because everyone should expect lime jello on the floor."

"Well maybe they should! I mean who's to say lime jello isn't lurking around that corner waiting to eat us!"
"..That's the most ridiculous thing you've ever said."

"I know."

-----

"Here, I'll throw it, and you catch it."
"..Kind of like fetch."

"Yeah sorta."
"But I'm not a dog."

"No. Now come on, catch it."
"But I'm not a dog."

"Well you can throw it back."
"So then you'd be the dog."

"What have you got against dogs, man??"
"Nothing, I just don't want to be a dog."

"So don't be a dog! Just catch the f--king ball!!"
"...But then I'd be dog-like."

"Dogs are very respectable animals! I mean, they're vicious and pack-oriented and strong, and... Why the hell wouldn't you want to be a dog?"
"Let's play something else."

"...We have nothing else to play. We've been sitting in this godforsaken room for hours, with nothing but a ball. So CATCH THE BALL already."
"... Woof."

"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's no, in dog. You seem to love dogs so much, why don't you speak their language?"

"Woof. Ruff ruff rawr."
"... You can't make me."

"WOOF!"
"bark bark bark. Woof ruff aroo."

¬_¬ "I hope this thing hits you in the nuts."
"Growl."

[

mood

|

giddy

]

Song quote:

"Do you worry that you're not liked?
How long till you break...
You're happy cause you smile,
but how much can you fake?"

-----

I'm so incredibly, ecstatically, nervously, competitively giddy at the moment. X_x Working on a mutual project with another artist, and I got to glimpse their work yesterday.. OMG I'm such an amateur in comparison. But it's really made me work harder, and it's made me nervous about doing an adequate job.

Have I mentioned how grateful I am for Roland?

And I might have another art job. ^_^ So happy. So nervously happy. LMAO, I wonder if other art students at this school get contracted out before they start. Hm. I might just start doing my contract work for my art projects. I can't remember who suggested that to me [think it was Darren, and jokingly at that], but it's a good idea.

And I can't remember where I saw this saying, also.. think it was on an art contract website, advice for artists or something. There was a guy paying his artist minimum wage, and when someone asked him why, he replied, "He'd be drawing even if I wasn't paying him." ...Kinda sad, when you do what you love for a living. Ergh. Anywho.

Must get father's addy today for promissory note. X_x. Was going to FedEx picture today, but I think I left it at my house [@#$!!!]. No problem. Will do tomorrow.

Cthulhu game tonight! HEHEHE that's making me even more giddy and more nervous. I don't usually run table-top games, but my brother came to visit, and I always try to get him to RP with us because he never has a chance to in Lakeland. So I kinda threw this game together on the spur of the moment. But that's okay, because it's Cthulhu! And it doesn't have to make sense. >:) It just has to be really freaky and scary and insanity-provoking. Which I'm good at. Wo0t!

[

mood

|

bored

]

I made a story journal.. out of boredom, mostly. Going to move all my stories and poems to that journal, and leave this one as my main journal. Heh, that way I don't clutter up friends-lists or whatnot.

Journal is here: aniel

If you still want to read my stories, comment here or in that journal and I'll add you so you can read them.

[

mood

|

bitchy

]

Song quote:

"She said I'm sorry, but
I had a bad day again."

-----

<complaint>

Well, this has been the month from hell.

I left work an hour early yesterday because Roland's truck got a flat tire. He'd walked all the way to his mom's church, and was already an hour late for work. I took him to work, and took Jubilee home [who hadn't had a nap all day, according to him]. I put her in her crib. My brother had called about an hour earlier and said he was coming down, so I had to wait at my house for him... I called AAA, and they wouldn't tow his truck to the tire shop unless I was waiting by it.

So, I called up his mother [who had passed him while he was walking to her work, and hadn't noticed him]. I asked if she could just go wait by the car, because I was waiting on Josh and James, and Jubilee was taking a nap. She said she didn't want to drive her mother-in-law's car if she didn't have to [her car is in the shop], but she said she'd wait until Chuck got there.

She calls back five minutes later saying she doesn't know if she wants to send Chuck out to wait for it either. So I said Fine, Leave it, I'll take care of it when my brother gets here.

An hour later they called to tell me they'd taken the truck to the tire shop, and Chuck had broken the lock on Roland's tool box to get the tools that weren't there. X_x.

I went to see Roland at lunch, and his lunch half-hour was spent talking to his mom and standing in line for this horridly slow sandwich lady at Publix. He also got reprimanded for being an hour late [regardless of the reason. They didn't care]. And on his way home, he got a non-moving violation ticket thing, for having no lights around his license plate.

So that's $44, $70-something for the accident, and however much the new tire cost. I feel horrible for him. And I'm wondering how we're going to pay for all this.

On top of that, CCA is still sending me a bill saying I owe them $250. For what? For "deactivating my account." [The account which I never used, which they gave me grief about deactivating saying they couldn't do it, which they took money out of my account for ANYWAY.]

And I'm tired. But that's my own fault.

</complaint>

[

mood

|

uncomfortable

]

"But why I froze
not one among them knows,
and never can be told."

-----

I've had the Buffy musical songs in my head for three days now. It's gotten just a bit old. :\ [lol sorry jdotmi, hope you didn't read this before you left work again.]

Ever have the feeling that someone's watching you? I can't shake it since yesterday... Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

-----

( more weird dreams. )
-----

I have this uncomfortable feeling. I'm not liking it. I wish it would go away.

Ergh. Only two more weeks in this office!.. woo.

[

mood

|

silly

]

Song quote:

"Life's a song
you don't get to rehearse.
And every single verse
can make it that much worse.."

-----

Well, I was in the middle of touching up a picture last night, and my power went out. :\ I still don't know if it was from the thunderstorm or the FPL company telling me "Hey! Pay us, you deadbeat!" You know the worst part about the power going out? It's that suddenly, your entire house is dark. I don't know why that's such a frightening concept, but it is. I don't like my house being completely black. It's like a bad horror flic where the murderer cuts the power before he sneaks in through a loose window, and hides in the shadows waiting for you to pass by unknowingly.

...That's it. I've seen too many horror flics.

I had a friend once who used to be afraid that Freddie's fingernails would come through her shower drain. So she'd have to face the drain the entire time when she was taking a shower.

... It's really funny how people get these fears.

I got a fear of spiders from a Role-Playing game. It's all James' fault. Damned jumping banana spiders... -mumble-

Of course, it was a Cthulhu game. My character went insane.

Ahhh, but what a fun way to gain insanity.

I used to be afraid of my window. Well, but that was only because this phantom-like thing appeared on top of it once. Erhm.

And my closet. I had a dream about that closet the other night... Once, I was convinced my shadow was trying to kill me. But it did punch me in the nose...

.... Anyway. What are you afraid of? :P

[

mood

|

sick

]

Ugh... stomach killing me... ate too many muffins last night... x.x

Roland's favorite episode of Enterprise was on last night. I think the Andorians are growing on me... They're slowly replacing Vulcan as my favorite race. [Noooo... Chel...]

Well actually, I got rid of Chel's completely-vulcan nature awhile back. Ugh. I couldn't be completely logical... It's annoying. But I'm not saying what her other half is. ^^;

[Chel is my one and only Star Trek RPG character, by the way. She was the chief science officer on the USS Titan.]

LMAO, someone took my quiz idea. Ah well. I'll still have my pictures. Going to finish most of them tonight, I hope. X_x.

Would it bother anyone else if someone cut up your key chain? ....

It just kind of bothers me.

AUGH, I only have fifteen more days here. I can't decide if I'm happy or sad about it. I mean... it was a really easy job, I never had to worry about losing it, and I got paid pretty well. But... GOD it sucked. [lol.] I hate being bored for eight hours straight, and I hate sitting in the same desk for eight hours straight. It produces things like... that... really long, Cthulian-type story. [I've written about twenty-six of those stories altogether, that was just the shortest.. so it got special postage.]

Ah well. To sketch, or to.. write another story... I think I'll do both.

[

mood

|

restless

]

Song quote:

"Me... I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and
it just won't heal."

-----

( Weird dreams. )

-----

Keep telling myself I need to draw, but I keep writing instead. Hum. I'll spend the next two nights on the pictures, then, and finish this story now.

... [note to self: don't ever go door to door selling Da Vinci paintings. v.-']

[

mood

|

annoyed

]

... Ugh. And now I want to write a ramble about my story. -.-;

And you should know exactly who you are, all three of you.

Platypus, I'm sorry you feel I was unfair to you. I'm sorry if I didn't portray it as emotionally as you would have liked. But I honestly didn't feel that way. I wrote it the way I felt about it, and that's the way it's going to stay.

And as far as your comment to the other person we both know, I can't believe you would even accuse me of that! After all I've told you, after all we've been through, I can't believe my trust means so little to you. What, did you just say it to him to make him feel bad about what he'd done?? That really irks me. Say it to my face, next time. You should have known me better. I don't even know if I want to talk to you again.

Other person, thank you. For not having to correct me on every single point of my story. I'm sorry some other people were unfair to you, and I wish I could have portrayed it better, but you and I know it was true.

42-man, STOP CORRECTING ME! eesh. Ya weirdo. You weren't even there for parts of it, and you were correcting me. >:P I mean, I wouldn't mind every now and then if I had gotten something wrong, but I don't think I did. You just like looking for ways to prove me wrong. I'm gonna pour rice-krispies down your pants, I swear.

...Okay. Yeah, after all the times I've corrected you on grammatical errors, I guess I probably deserved it. X_x. But still!

And to a few other people... I wrote it on the spur of the moment, mostly out of boredom, and somewhat because Roland wanted to read it. I wrote it the way I felt about it, and not the factual way some people think it should have happened. But if you really think I did that horrible of a job portraying my life, by all means, write the way it should have happened.

Thank you, and good night. v.-;

[

mood

|

bouncy

]

Woo.. I'm posting a real entry today. o_O;

Still going back and forth between my in-laws'.. But I got to sleep in my bed last night. ^^; [tankoo Roland.]

Having weird dreams lately. Not like the bug army chasing me or the haunted house dream... Just... Dreams that don't have any real sequence. I can't put it together. Bits and pieces of dreams...

Like the dark, empty room with knotholes lining the floor, shadows crammed in crevices, window boarded up. Was seeing it from the floor.. I guess I was laying on the floor. Just flashes like that. Long enough to be real.. but not enough to tell me anything significant.

Must remember to call Ringling today. They keep treating me like a first-year student [I've had a whole year of college], and like I'm actually moving on-campus because I have no life in Sarasota [I've lived here two years now, and I have a house]. I need to get my schedule. X_x. My life's in limbo until I know what I have to work with.

Will have new picture to post up here, as soon as I get permission from the requester. ^__^ Now I gotta finish the other two pictures I promised..

Song quote:

"Illusion never changed
into something real.
I'm wide awake, and I can see
the perfect sky is torn."

-----

It's excruciating when you're in the mood to draw, and you can't find any paper.

Read somewhere yesterday they're making an HIV positive muppet for Sesame Street. ....Why? How are they going to inroduce it? Do they think little kids are actually going to understand this?

Just found out I need to pay another two hundred bucks that I don't have. I love getting mail like that. "Ooh, we haven't taken enough money from you yet, so you need to buy this for two hundred dollars, or you can't go to class."

....

I honestly have nothing good to say today. I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.

---

Edit: [just saw this on a file I was putting away.]

"Dear Customer: We are writing you due to an inadvertent error.."

[As opposed to... a deliberate error??? doi.]

[	mood	|	annoyed	]
[	music	|	nobody	]

Song quote:

"You say nobody's after you.
The fact is what you say is true;
but I can love you like Nobody can..
Even better."

[does anyone but me remember that song?]

-----

I have nothing against dogs. They're just... idiots. Having a dog is like having a child that you already know will a) never grow up, b) never learn better manners, and c) never move out of your house. They are constantly by your side, whether you like it or not.

If you turn around, expect to get a nose in the crotch. If you go to sleep, expect to get awakened three times a night by incessant barking, from dogs who couldn't tell a burglar from another dog bark five miles away. If you let them in your room, expect them to leave hair on the bed, or roll around until the sheets are all tousled, or follow you until they trip you.

I've lived with dogs all my life. I'm just... not a dog person. Oh sure, I love dogs every now and then. Sporadically, they're okay. That doesn't mean I want to live with one, or be responsible for feeding one / cleaning up their mess / dealing with their *innocent* tearing of garbage bags or shedding or smelling. I have a kid, I don't need a dog.

Anywho... On the brighter side. Leanne came online last night!!!! I was so happy I was on. :D I've missed her and Rwy'n so much.. I think they said they were moving to Georgia soon, so I might have to make serious road trips [like I have the money. HAH]. Of course, if I go up that way, there are other people I have to visit... Hee.

This week is becoming the slowest week of my life. Next week will be even slower. In fact, by next Thursday time will have become stagnant.

[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	ozzy - mr. crowley	]

Song quote:

"Uncovering things that were sacred
manifest on this Earth.
Conceived in the eye of a secret,
and they scattered the after-birth..
Mr. Crowley..."

-----

It just clicked yesterday with me, who that song was actually about. Thank you James and your obsession with Cthulhu. LOL. Now I like that song about ten times better, because I think I understand it.

Staying at in-laws' for two weeks while they're away, so I don't know how often I'll get to update/look in LiveJournal. Which means I'll have a lot of catching up to do the two weeks after, before I have to transfer all the data from this computer to my home computer and quit my job.

BLAH.

It's just good to say blah every now and then. I'm not sure why.

Went to see my mom this weekend, and found a shirt [she had] that I just had to buy. Hehe. I don't find many like that... But this one's pretty cool. It's a brown top with a string around the shoulders that ties in the front; and the sleeves are long, but they're cut all the way to the elbow. So the rest drapes down. I just thought it was neat.

And I got my aura picture taken again. I'm obsessed with that.. I always want to see if I'm right. I was right about my mom's colors. I was right about Roland's too. ;D I was... completely wrong about mine. LOL. But then I always just guessed at mine; never actually bothered to look.

Umum. So. YES! Anyone who volunteered for my little project, I will be working on the questions this week, so you should have them by this weekend [but don't hold me to that.. I'm finicky when it comes to time limits]. X_x

[

mood

|

content

]

Okay... Apparently when I find something even minutely philosophically interesting, I tend to go on a tangent with it. :\

ANYwho. Last few days have been pretty decent.. I've spent most of my free time browsing that SAB site, and the rest of it drawing pictures. I'm happy. I'm not so tired. I'm torn about whether I miss my child or love the break.

I mean... It's been eighteen months and I haven't been without her more than a day. Sure, she's whiny, she's unable to communicate intelligently with me, she's little and annoying and like any two-year-old would be... But I was used to her. I had moments where I'd love to just scoop her up and twirl her around, hug her, make her laugh and smile and clap her hands.

Blah. It's only a week. I'm getting her back on Saturday.

Getting rid of AOL tonight or tomorrow. So anyone who needs to e-mail me, DON'T use labiie. Use faith@mutedfaith.com, or mutedfaith@comcast.net. [preferably the first one.]

I'll still have AIM though. Will keep Labiie for awhile; if I change it, I'll post it in here beforehand.

Got to see Minority Report last night. It was long, but it was one of those movies that could afford to be... I'm a sucker for special-effects-action-flics. Especially with Tom Cruise.

Will be updating webpage most of the night tonight. I had someone actually get mad at me because I hadn't posted his one-liner yet.. LOL. Of course I had someone else disagree with my Flag rant.. and the only thing they said is "I think you are completely wrong. Ass." That was it. Bwahaha.. I love useless arguments.. really... They give me absolutely nothing to work with.

Woo.

[

mood

|

sore

]

Song quote:

"Lost so long I can't remember,
wandering in my December.."
[actually written by advancedbeing.. it's just been stuck in my head.]

-----

Drew a vampire. Bleh. I'm wondering if I should put labels on some of my pictures saying "don't view this if you're under thirteen" or something. ..I don't really think they're that bad, but somebody's parent might.

( New picture )

I'm so tired...

I roller-bladed seven miles yesterday. It started out as a nice stroll down the street.. I eventually ended up across Bee Ridge, and I thought "Hey, I bet Wal-Mart's closer than my house now!"

..I was wrong. I found that out after Wal-Mart became closer than my house.

So I got all the way there, and didn't feel like skating back. I found a packaged hand-held solitaire game and played it through the plastic until Roland got off for lunch, and he took me home. :\ Wouldn't have been so bad if I'd brought my art supplies, but I took them all out in case I crushed them somehow.

I also found out that gravel is not the best place to try all the tricks you used to know but haven't done for a year or so. Especially wet gravel. While it's still raining.

But my hands are wonderfully scratched again, and my legs hurt. I missed that feeling... I also pretty much ruined a good pair of pants. ;D

[

mood

|

thoughtful

]

I had an interesting dream the other night... I dreamed I was playing baseball [something I haven't done in years]. Anyway, I got beaned in the head with a ball, almost as if I'd purposely gotten myself beaned, and traveled away from my body.

I walked away and through these beautiful trees - they were filled with orange and brown and red leaves. Anyone who's used to that might not have been impressed... But I live in Florida. The land of the never-dying green stuff. And there were at least thirty tree tops filled with brilliant shades of color.

I walked until I found someone, but it wasn't like a human.. It was just a.. er.. Well it's how I pictured a spirit would look like. I'm not sure how to describe it, other than bright and translucent.

I asked it, "Why am I here?"

It replied, "Apparently you wanted to come back."

Somehow I knew, as I thought about it, that I'd been there before. I smiled and nodded slowly. "Can I look now?"

It seemed to smile back at me [though it really didn't have a mouth]. "That's why you came, isn't it?"

I peered through a small window, and I felt the scene around me shift. I saw myself when I was seventeen, and I saw myself engaged to Darren. I smiled and watched as we were married, I watched as we had children, I watched how my life would have gone.

I backed away, and the scene shattered. I peered through another window, and I saw myself with Roland. I saw the recruiting office where I'd almost sworn in, and I saw myself lie about my background to get it over with. I didn't have to wait two weeks... I swore in that day, and I trudged off to boot camp. I never saw Roland again.

I backed away, and the scene shattered again. The spirit seemed to be watching me, and I glanced at it expectantly. "This is what I wanted."

"Are you happy with your choices?"

"Yes."

"Would you change them?"

"No. I'm happy with the choices I made."

I looked through another window, and I saw myself sitting in church. I watched as I sang hymns, I watched as I listened to the preacher, though I couldn't hear what the preacher was saying. It didn't seem important.

"Are you happy with your choices?" Again the question, but it came while I still stared at the sanctuary.

"Yes. I'm happy with my choices." I walked through the rooms... I entered another one, a smaller one that I recognized as a back room in a house in Nicaragua. It had no roof, but it had at least eight chairs, and a small table in the middle with wooden bowls filled with spiced rice and chicken.

I saw myself in a corner.. I watched as I walked outside, down the street, and to the little girl's house. It was a store and a house.. They sold coke and candy. I gave her the story book I'd bought at the Miami airport. We played I spy, and "Jésus Dice"... I seemed to live there. I was happy.

"Are you still happy?"

"Yes. I'm happy."

I backed away once I had seen enough, and the vision shattered. I turned toward the last window, and I started walking toward it. The spirit seemed to stop me mid-step.

"No. That has yet to be experienced."

"Is there more?"

"There is always more."

I walked away from the small enclosure, back through the trees. I walked back to the baseball field, and I climbed back up, rubbing my head.

"Was it worth it?" Somebody asked me, about something else. They grinned and nudged me as if they'd made a joke.

"Yeah. It was worth it." I picked up the ball, and tossed it to someone else.

[

mood

|

sad

]

( about my friends. )

[

mood

|

silly

]

Okay... So I cheated a little. I came across a picture I did completely in oil pastels awhile back, and I thought it would make a good earth gen. Sooo... I'm using it for my earth gen. Woo! I have all the elementals now. ;)

Heh heh heh...

( earth gen )