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Saturday, August 31st, 2002
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2:31 pm - Picture
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I decided to do a little drawing to go along with something I thought of. It's supposed to be an apocalyptic image of the future that a certain character of mine is going to have. I am a lousy drawer, but the picture shows the basic idea. I'll give you an idea of what it looks like:
Dark fuzzy lines all around the page indicating an unreal or dreamlike quality to the situation.
Burning skyscrapers and buildings indicating the dark times and the bleak outlook.
Seven dark winged creatures sitting on the burning buildings or flying in the air, indicating whom the enemy is.
One person facing the scene, her long hair and dress blowing strongly to the left, her head slightly bowed, her sword held straight out to her right side, indicating her begrudged acceptance of the situation and readiness to take up the challenge.
There is supposed to be rain in it as well (oops, almost forgot). The girl holding the sword is at the bottom of the picture, while the rest are beyond her (kind of like she's looking at the whole scene). This is supposed to be a vision of some sort, so I wanted it in two stages. The first stage to be seen should be the girl holding the sword and the burning buildings, but the buildings should be covered with darkness while she is quite visible. With the second stage, there should be lightning that lights up the apocalyptic scene in front of her, followed by the screams of the flying beasts, then sudden complete blackness. There are a few images to go after it, but that was probably the easiest to draw. I'm hopeless with drawing hands and faces, so the choking scene would've turned out crap. So anyway, I'm going for the "Oh God... this is... the future?" kind of reaction.
Probably not original [Sailor Moon S, anyone?] but who cares? In my mind it looks very cool. [nods]
[Edit: I only mention Sailor Moon S because, apparently, Rei-chan has a vision of death and destruction (or was it about Sailor Saturn?) for the future in the very first episode. Since I haven't seen it or heard details about it, that should mean I haven't been influenced by any images from it... right?]
current mood: hungry (grrr... rumble, rumble...)
current music: Negavision - Sailor Moon Stupid (Episode 2)
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| Wednesday, August 28th, 2002
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2:21 pm - A post NOT about Wombat
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Happy now? [chuckles]
Been thinking about changing the colours and layout again, see if some improvements can be made. I'm actually getting quite tired, so it looks like I won't be doing all those BB Forum messages... damn, and I so wanted to annoy him. Maybe next him eh?
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11:57 am - Concluding?
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Well, now that the Wombat crisis has been concluded, I suppose it's time for an embarrassing moment. A little over an hour ago, I was singing "The Twelve Days of Blizzard" at the top of my lungs when I was in the shower. You know how it goes...
"On the first day of Christmas, Blizzard gave to me... a brand new S.C.V.!"
"On the second day of Christmas, Blizzard gave to me... two Terran Wraiths..."
"On the third day of Christmas, Blizzard gave to me... three Marines..."
Good lord, you should've heard me... oh how embarrassing! But I was quite pleased with myself when I hit that final high note. Come to think of it, you should be too! [nods and waits for praise]
Now I have to work out what I'm going to do for the rest of the day... [looks at his empty bed]
current mood: pleased with himself
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10:31 am - Words to the Stream
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Just after I got in the shower, I realised that I wouldn't mind seeing Wombat personally on this very day. Unfortunately, I have no idea what he's doing, nor do I know his phone number so I could ask.
So, just what am I to do? Maybe he'll come across this...
[Edit: Come to think of it, the only thing I know he does during the day is school/tafe... and then I'm guessing that isn't every day. Shame on me for not asking him a few personal questions!]
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| Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
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12:16 pm
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LiveJournal
Trading Cards
Free Account Edition
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 tranzcend
User Number: 39919
Date Created:07/01/2001
Number of Posts: 129
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| Nick is a paradox to himself and a contradiction to those around him. His quiet, brooding nature is a reflection of his calculating mind and the turmoil raging inside him. He can appear cold and unforgiving, but there is always a method to his madness. |
| Strengths: Creative, tenacious, ambiguous, discerning, hard to anger, analytical, observing, sometimes does what others do not. |
| Weaknesses: Sunlight, sometimes passive, passing interests, repressed anger, can unknowingly be very flirtatious. |
| Special Skills: Resistant to most forms of attack, can predict the actions of others. |
| Weapons: Evil stare, maniacal laugh, ambiguous glance, scorpion sting, pensive expression, cold word, chameleon face, and crisis mode. |
| WARNING: Be careful and watch your step around him. He will be watching you, and he rarely forgets. |
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| Sunday, August 25th, 2002
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7:56 am - Thoughts
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My little story has undergone an interesting change of back-story. The four superpowers have been renamed (in the sense that they shouldn't have names to begin with), and have been transformed from physical entities to metaphysical beings with a... grounding... in the physical universe. I mean, it's logical to assume that you would need some sort of connection to the physical universe in order to affect it... right? Bah!
A quick draft I've thrown together has killed off several important characters, and thankfully a few parts make a LOT more sense now. Such as how exactly I could bring someone back to life without people (including myself) throwing their hands up in confusion. But now the problem lies in what to do now that those several important characters are dead! Argh!
But at least now I can have that "clash of the titans" showdown I wanted oh ever so much. :-)
current mood:  amused
current music: Linkin Park - Points Of Authority
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| Friday, August 23rd, 2002
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9:47 am - Late Thought
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I stopped having dreams of my future years ago. What's the point of looking to the future when the present can be so easily changed by outside forces? I have friends who have their future planned out, but something doesn't go the way they planned and their future is consequently destroyed in a mental blaze of fire. I ask them, "How can you plan the future without first setting up the ground work?" It's like expecting to paint a masterpiece without any knowledge of how to paint.
An interesting question... Like my damaged eyes, I have no focus on the future - only what is directly in front of my face. Would this mean that I might be one of those who are "lost"?
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9:35 am - Disjointed
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For the love of me, I just can't work out why my sleeping pattern completely flipped and lost the plot. It was fine a few days ago, but now I'm nocturnal again! *growls* *sighs*
This last week has just been really bad for me emotionally and mood wise. My creativity has spiked but my overall mood dropped to the floor. This all occurred around the same time... could they be connected?
Ryan once said I would be a funny drunk. Naturally I voiced my concerns about possibly being a violent drunk. He looked at me and said, "You don't strike me as an angry person." I replied: "I'm repressed."
Oh yes, I managed to catch the great Lugia on my first try in Pokemon Crystal. Next it's on to Entei, Raikou and then the rainbow king... Ho-oh. The second uncatchable king, Celebi, apparently lurks somewhere around the Ilex Forest. But just like the first uncatchable king, Mew, his exact location is secret (if he can actually BE found in the game at all) and he is said to be only given to winners of the elite level Nintendo competitions. By the way, that was all just a useless thought I felt like adding.
current mood:  sleepy
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| Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
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8:48 pm - The Way
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Hello. I know I come off as a rather strange guy. Just look at the last few posts for undeniable proof. I can't really explain why these two girls sparked my interest... well, enough for me to write about them. Maybe I can explain a little by talking about my visits to Frankston...
Sometimes when I'm in Frankston, I just like to watch people walk around. A wise man once said something about "You can't talk and listen at the same time."
I've made many observations about people while doing this, but the one that I find funny is that people are always walking as fast as possible without making a strain on their feet. They all seem to have places to go and they have to be there in a hurry. In all my time watching, I have NEVER seen anyone walk slowly. So during the day on Friday last week, I walked as slow as possible without making it difficult to remain upright. I've found that few people will take notice of you if you're slow. They only take notice of the faster moving people because they hold their attention, and there is a smaller chance they'll notice you looking if they glance your way. However, that is not always the case. I'll have to do it more often in order to level out the results.
I ask myself, why do I do these things when few others do them? But it seems that is an answer in itself...
If no one else does something, then I will. It has always been my way.
One more thing I've noticed. When you come to a public place, very few people will have compassion for the people around them. Even fewer people will go out of their way to really help someone. Occasionally you'll find people who'll hold a door open for you, but you'll almost never find a person who'll talk to you unless you know them. Because I am a shy and self-conscious person by nature, I simply can't walk up to someone and talk to them. But despite that, I cannot count how many times I've longed for someone nice to walk up and talk to me. Maybe that's why I've taken a great interest in these two girls.
current mood: Hunter (I blame the music)
current music: Bart Klepka - Shodan (Hacked Mix)
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| Sunday, August 18th, 2002
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3:22 am - A Great Thing
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Jane. So I can never forget her name, the KFC chick.
Above all else, I value unconditional kindness as the single greatest thing anyone can do. She did that, and I will remember it. It's been so long... her act of unconditional kindness really made my night. Jane is her name, and not Jemma like her nametag suggested. Oh yes, I do remember her face. It's interesting that she remembered mine - especially after the haircut. It didn't fully occur to me until a few minutes ago that she's been the one to serve me quite a few times in the past. Interesting... she has the look I envisioned one of my characters in my story to have. Makes me wonder what I will dream of tonight...
current mood: like I might fly
current music: Evangelion - Mugen Hooyoo (Return to Dew Mix)
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| Friday, August 16th, 2002
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12:26 am - "... and all she did was cut my hair..."
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| Saturday, July 27th, 2002
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3:10 am - Mirror
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People have often commented that I look different without my glasses. I've always wondered if it was because I looked different in their eyes, or if I was different. Some afternoons after I wake up and go to the bathroom, I find myself looking at my face in the mirror. I often don't bother with my glasses for about fifteen minutes after I wake up just so I can see the world with my own true eyes. As some of you know, I am very shortsighted. I have difficulty reading the time on my bedside clock radio, even though the time readout is large and shines bright red at night. I would just stand there, staring at my face, not able to clearly see the large number of imperfections on my face or the dodgy thing that is my hair. But even though I am without glasses, I can sometimes see a glimpse of my inner self in the reflection of my eyes. Those ever-changing hazel eyes stare back at me, revealing that which is hard to see with glasses. Trapped behind the aid of clarity is a look of absolute sadness.
Without my glasses I cast a different reflection in the eyes of others, just like I do to myself in the mirror. When my correction stops changing, I will have the opportunity to get laser-eye surgery. While I'm happy about that, I sometimes feel like I shouldn't get it done. If I was to get it done, I would lose the ability to see myself as just... myself. I have walked under streetlights without glasses with friends while it was lightly raining, and I felt like crying happy tears because I had several minutes where I was the person who stared back at me in the mirror, and not the one who makes me hide behind the glasses. It may be hard for some people to understand what I mean because of how it is written, but I know what I mean, and it's 3am, so cut me some slack.
"...if Jimmy were to open them, they would no longer be the sparkling green she had told him they were, nor even the warm brown he had thought they must be. They wouldn't be beautiful. They would only be flat and colourless."
current mood: sadness
current music: Frederic Chopin - Nocturne [Opus 9, No. 2 - Andante]
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2:21 am - Night
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Emptiness... terror... alone... sadness... of these I have had many a dream about. And just like reality, I still can't find someone like me.
I had a nightmare once where right at the end, I realised it was a dream and saved myself. I changed the parameters so I had the knives, and I killed him in my hallway. A lot of people would just wake up after that, but I held on for another minute more... just long enough to destroy my dream world. I saw the whole world deconstruct around me into billions of tiny sparkles of creation, all of them shining brighter than the moon on the darkest of nights. Truly, it was beautiful beyond beauty. But there was a brief moment, just after the sparkles had all faded out, that I was alone in my universe. I looked around and all I could see was nothing but a desolate three-dimensional plane of finite blackness... just nothing but a small cube of space. I couldn't quite understand why it was a cube, until in hindsight, I realised that world was simply a prison, one I could decorate to trick myself into believing the walls weren't there and the landscape stretched on for eternity.
That day I woke up feeling... refreshed.
current mood:  listless
current music: Frederic Chopin - Nocturne [Opus 9, No. 1]
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| Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
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7:51 pm - Important Announcement.
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I'm an uncle again! Cool, eh?
My sister Heather finally got around to delivering her fifth child, her first and only daughter. She's wanted a daughter since Daniel (her first child) was born, and now she's been given what she wanted. So this all means that I now have six nieces and thirteen nephews! More will come when Tim and Kylie finally get around to it. [laughs] Yeah, I have trouble seeing little versions of Tim as well.
current mood: jubilant
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| Sunday, July 21st, 2002
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2:19 am
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"It's so boring here on the tourist capital of the universe clitoris but I deal with it by being drunk or stoned fanny rag."
Simply a classic. [nods]
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| Friday, July 19th, 2002
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2:59 am - Little Thoughts
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You hear the music but not the lyrics
You hear the lyrics but not the words
You hear the words but not the meaning
You hear the meaning but not the emotion
You hear the emotion but not the reason
You hear the reason but not the music.
It's meant as a cruel cycle - gaining an understanding of ourselves and everything around us. When we fully understand something, we can't really see it as it originally was. Did you notice how I used Lyrics and Words, when in essence they mean the same thing? This was done because there IS sort of a difference between the two. Lyrics are the joined, fluent and fluidic words that complement the music, whereas Words are singular and each makes its own impact. You can gain a whole new understanding of a song just by listening to the words and not the lyrics, same as you can by listening to the lyrics and not just the music...
Chances are you're one of the five out of six who just laughed and dismissed my strange idea. Now I must consider bed. You should too if you're up this late.
current mood: sleepy
current music: Rammstein - Du Hast (Techno Remix)
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| Wednesday, July 10th, 2002
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10:14 am - Morning Comedy
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[watching advert for The Shower Repair Centre on Good Morning Australia...]
Woman: "To the viewers at home, this is a sign that your shower needs..." [drones on]
Nick: "Guess what lady? Nick doesn't care. Talk to the blank screen."
[turns off the TV]
current mood: amused
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| Tuesday, July 9th, 2002
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8:32 pm - Always yours...
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I've decided to do a little change to the way I view the world through my computer. Yes, I have discovered the joys of customisation. For instance: I really like this Card Captor Sakura background I have, and I didn't like how it went with the desktop...so I changed the desktop. No blue taskbar! No large caption buttons!
Thank you Windows XP for having a customisable GUI!
I happened to go to Edward and Allan's place over the weekend. We did the usual things: play games, copy games, go for a snack run, play more games, etc. I didn't get much sleep as per usual, but I still managed to renew my screwed up my sleeping pattern. I thought I had it beaten this time...[sighs] oh well. I had a great time kicking their arses in Jedi Knight II. Lightsaber duels are damn fun. Allan was the only one to give me a real challenge in that, as he made it his mission to completely drain my Force powers and leave me with only my lightsaber. But still, he lost and I grew stronger. By our next game I had completely reworked my Force powers and became completely immune his main strength - Force attacks. After that, all he was left with were lightsaber battles. He credited me with being a master of Force powers.
He never figured out how to exploit my weakness...if you can call it that. Force Absorb and Force Protect can't work at the same time. So if I have Force Absorb on, I take the normal amount of damage from physical attacks, but Force attacks can't touch me. But if I have Force Protect on, I take considerably less damage from physical attacks, but leave myself open to Force attacks. It isn't really a weakness because I am skilled with the lightsaber, so I can keep Force Absorb on and not rely on Force Protect unless I've lost a lot of health. Sorry, I've gone into game tactics again...
Edward simply had dumb luck while playing that game. While I did beat him 10-to-3 quite a lot, he still managed to pull off some incredible upsets against me. How often can you say that you happened to use Force Grip the second after Force Absorb ran out? Not very, let me tell you. But he did just that. He picked me up and put me over the edge of the ledge before I could turn Force Absorb back on, making me fall to my doom. Yes, there was much laughter and pride boasting at his end from beating the better player, but he paid for it. Oh yes, the invisible Jedi using Force Push to send him flying over the edge...heh heh.
It was a fun weekend. When I got home, I received a call from Adam saying he'd be coming over with Nyomie later that night. He came around without Nyomie. Apparently she was busy talking to Ryan and getting him to test her with driving questions. She was going to grab my driving book, but she didn't need it anymore. It appeared that her licence test (just P plates) was to be Monday afternoon. So I talked with Adam for a while, catching up on what we'd done on the weekend, and then he was off home saying he'd come over tomorrow and we'd go get a DVD. I ended up staying awake for almost all of the night for no apparent reason. I just wasn't tired even though I should've been. I woke up many times during the day due to the phone ringing. That really annoyed me - who the hell calls before 3pm anyway? Finally my mother awaked me when she came home from work at around 6pm. Chris and I worked out we were having pizza, but Pizza Hut wouldn't accept the coupon. So while we were pondering just what we were going to do, Adam called and informed me he'd be coming over after Home & Away. Chris and I worked out with him that we'd go get pizza while we were out for a DVD. He finally came over at close to 8pm, so we went out and got what we wanted. Just as we got back, Nyomie called Adam and told him she'd get dropped off at my place to have a little chat. I was slightly annoyed (hey, she don't like Harry Potter anyway because it's "against her religion.") I voiced as much after the call, and Chris thought it was very funny because Elise has read all the books and watched the movie countless times. There is NO ONE as Catholic as Elise, so it was very funny to hear. Note: people who say Harry Potter is against their religion because it promotes Witchcraft are idiots. It's called freedom of choice you hypocritical bastards. When it favours your side you turn a blind eye, but heaven forbid promotion for any other religion! Ho!
She arrived about five minutes into the movie and decided to talk (much to my annoyance). I paused the movie and said rather coldly "Are you two done?" Hey, I wanted to watch this movie. If she didn't want to watch it, then that's her problem and not mine. I didn't spend three hours of my life to get to this point so someone who didn't want to watch the movie could interrupt it. So the movie went on uninterrupted, except for the three minor interruptions by my mother who just HAS to talk during a movie. During a rather dull scene while Nyomie was out of the room, Adam told me that Nyomie failed her test and was quite touchy about it. The end of the movie came and Adam immediately went to the front door with Nyomie trailing behind. She wanted a lift so he supposed he could give her one. They went and I took a look through the Special Features. Not long later, Nyomie called me and we had a little chat about things. She told me about having ANOTHER crush on Adam, and the little problems her confession has had on their friendship. Yes, I knew it would happen. I told Adam as much, but no one ever takes my thoughts seriously. Sure, I just happen to correctly predict people's patterns and actions, but does anyone actually take advantage of my advice? Hell no.
So there you go. Nyomie is back to her old ways, Adam is back to being on the defensive, and I'm still kicking arse. Just the way I expected things to be.
Oh, one last thing. Edward, the background DOES NOT look like kiddie porn or hentai! Short skirts are quite fashionable in anime...you should know that.
current mood: content
current music: Boa - Duvet
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| Saturday, June 29th, 2002
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12:43 am - The Moon Rises...
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I talked to Nikki (demorte) on the phone for about an hour just before. Very cool, albeit a little different [smiles]. I feel great! It's always nice to talk to someone. But it's the little things that I love most, like her calling me back to say goodnight (because the phone cut out).
At some stage I'll have to get a clearer answer on "what did you think I'd sound like?" [laughs] I really am wondering about that one, but it can wait a little while. It's nice to hear a voice every once in a while. I don't hear very many nowadays, and to hear one that is different from my normal, it lifts my spirits.
current mood: happy
current music: Negavision - Sailor Moon Stupid (Episode 2)
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| Friday, June 28th, 2002
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11:02 pm
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Woah, I just started singing. Clear the area! This is NOT a drill! I am singing!
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