LiveJournal for Colleen.
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Tuesday, March 26th, 2002 |
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So things are strange. Felt horrible Monday and was not saved by anything. Today was a bit better. Lacrosse has been killing me, but I'm trying to not spend all my time complaining. I have a math test I need to finish tonight and some more stuff I need to do. On the guy front - one says its all my fault we don't talk, one has been made an honest man but that does not change the soft spot I've got for him, one had sex with me in the hall, and one "doesn't have a girlfriend only a love toy in Connecticut, so don't worry". I think all in all I should go be a nun. Except I'm not catholic. And I don't believe in God, and I would look freaky in a habit. Mmm, tea. I just got back from babysitting. Made a quick 15 bucks. I wrote this whole nice long entry about finals but it got lost somehow so just go read Natalies journal for how the weekend went. Time for me to go debate the question of life. Peace (one) love. | ||||||||
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Sunday, March 24th, 2002 |
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I'm screaming, but I'm not making a sound. | ||
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Monday, March 18th, 2002 |
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So this is strange Our sidestepping has come to be A brilliant dance Where nobody leads at all Something is telling me to write every day. I havent actually written in weeks now, except for some cheesy poems that arent worth their weight in paper. I'm not going to lacrosse tomorrow, I can't deal. I have this really great picture I took of the commons last fall when I went in for the weekend. I think it was around Thanksgiving. The point is I love the picture and want to do something with it. There not much in the picute, just the trees and the pond and some geese and the builings in the distance. I'm trying to think of a story, a word, anything. I wish to some great spirit that I could still write. I wasn't that good but at least I had something, now I'm just wasting time. I miss him. I really fucking miss him. I don't think anyone knows anymore, no one remembers him. It really fucking hurts inside and no one wants to hear about it because its just one of those things that strong little women carry inside without the need for pity from anyone else. I don't want your pity, I just want you to stop asking me if I'm ok and know that I'm not. I miss him. Peace (one) love. |
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Sunday, March 17th, 2002 |
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I'm so sick of being sick. Its like someone poured acid down my throat when I wasn't paying attention and four cups of tea with honey has done nothing to remedey this. I should stop whining. My hands are stained pink. There is this spinning light up fiber optics thing in the office, it just spins and changes colours and looks all pretty. There is no point any more. Peace (one) love. |
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I had a really freaky dream. Something about being locked in the bakery at Shaws and forced to make gratin dauphinois. That and then this guy I knew was there but I didn't really know who he was and it was like one of those weird dreams where things never really make sense. In other news... the ability of my sore throat and on and off cold symptoms to persist relentlessly have led to the suggestion that I may be...sick. I don't like this idea at all, however I would like to be able to swallow and breath through my nose again so I will grin and bear the insuing trip to il dottorai's (bar rump ba bum, ba rump ba bum) This is all for now. Peace (one) love. | ||||
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Saturday, March 16th, 2002 |
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Im just frustrated and argh. I want to throw things. Tonight was so not fun and I was so bored. That and I can't see. Something about taking off my glasses after a long time. Frustration is mounting, need to go be violent and such. Peace (one) love. | ||||
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Friday, March 15th, 2002 |
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"let's fast forward to a few years later. no one knows except the both of us. i have honoured your request for silence, and you have washed you hands clean of this." Tonight was uneventful (so far). I walked home because it was ehnice. Around 6 Vinny and Scott and Elissa showed up in the Screaming Orange Demon to bring me to MacDo's. It was actually cute with french fry wars and Davin getting me a free McFlurry. That's the way to a girls heart boy, haha. Now I'm sort of just chilling here until people come back from the bball game and decide to do something. Alanis and Dashboard, sort of sums up the evening. Peace (one) love. Edit: What is it with guys and girl's rings. I really dont get it. Every last one of the guys has had a thing with playing with rings. I think they should just wear their own. |
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Thursday, March 14th, 2002 |
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This entry will be cheerful. School was good today, talked to a bunch of people about next year and made seom choices. d'Entremont look at my college list and helped me not to freak out. After school rehearsal was really short and we went to play frisbee at ames with some non drama folk who kicked our asses. Then there was the guy with the water gun and soon I am going to Brad's to make gratin dauphinois and stuff. Tomorrow is friday and I plan on getting royally smashed this weekend, or maybe not. I think the whole replacement semi thing was a cute idea, but now its the problem of who to "bring". I'll probably end up asking Brad or something equally non-commital. Jenna, Jill is going to have a corruption party and your lover boy will be invited. The Norwell one not the other one who looks like the Norwell one's friend. I am amazed I got throught that sentence. It is now time for me to go run or do situps or punching bag or something to get ready for lacrosse. Peace (one) love. | ||||||||
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Wednesday, March 13th, 2002 |
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revamped and inspired by colby's page. six-leaf clover (an experiment in insanity) | ||
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Monday, March 11th, 2002 |
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I am such a mess right now. I can't get a grip on my life or anything and I think I am slowly going insane, again. I asked questions I didn't want to know answers to and did stupid things that I have to take the consequences for. I could place money on the fact that whoever reads this has no idea what I'm talking about and therefor doesn't care. Sometimes I think all I do is complain and avoid and other loverly shit like that. I need to get some sleep now if I'm going to practice tomorrow. Peace (one) love. she steps softly on the stair, creeping out of the dragons lair. she's been here but twice before, her journey's just the stuff of lore. she steps softly on the stair, wind's a whisper, lifts her hair. she's been here but twice before, feels her welcome lasts no more. she steps softly on the stair, wiping tears from face so fair. she's been here but twice before, never felt like such a whore. she steps softly on the stair, steels her heart to cover the tear. she's been here but twice before, couldn't guess what she had in store. |
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Sunday, March 10th, 2002 |
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four words for all of you : BOSTON HERE WE COME!!! | ||||||
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Friday, March 8th, 2002 |
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I'm watching the disney channel and sitting around. I have to be the most boring person I know. Semis are tomorrow. I am not quite excited yet but I think the bus ride will change everything. Today was long and drawn out, just like the rest of the week. Nate was so funny, I told him if we made finals I either coulnd't go or would have to go late and he said he would wait so we could go together. That and I bought a dress, black, boring and rather slutty. I'm nervous for tomorrow, I really dont know whats going to happen or how it is going to go. Never done this before. Got to go now and yeah. I'm at a loss for words right now, my brain just doesnt want to function and neither do my legs for that matter. Peace (one) love. | ||||||
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Thursday, March 7th, 2002 |
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So today was pretty good, leaving english early and all. Long bus rides, interesting anatomy lessons and the making of faces at cars. The tech rehearsal went pretty well, kind of crazy and hectic and all, and then the bus home was longer. Dinner was pretty good, we went to friendlys and had the funny old lady for a waitress. So now I'm home and tired and thinking about how I can manage to fit in running in the next few days. I'm off to study for french. Peace (one) love. | ||||||||
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Tuesday, March 5th, 2002 |
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I know I avoided him and blew him off and wouldn't give him what he wanted, but it still hurts more than I thought it would. He never really cared. I want to believe that so badly. I told myself it would hurt and I told myself and he still got in there somehow. Dammit how could I have been so stupid. I think I need to go beat some sense into myself right now, that or find someone meaningless to screw. Fuck this. I got dissed by a lot of people today, but this one hurt the most. I doubt he knows what he did. I'm off to wallow in self pity then do a couple hundred sit-ups. Self dicipline people, something I gotta learn.Peace (one) love. | ||||
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Sunday, March 3rd, 2002 |
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So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh? |
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I had the best time yesterday and I just want to write about everything so I don't forget it. I got up at like quarter of 6 yesterday and was at the school an hour later. It started off with everyone running around and doing a million things at once and then eventually my school showed up. It was their first year at festival and they were really bad but most of them were nice and friendly people. All day we were just dancing in the halls and talking to all of these great people. The kids from Durfee and Nobles and Norwell and Newton Country Day and Medway were all really really nice. THe others were not so much, but not enough to be like ick. Random people kept kind of just bumping into each other in the halls and striking up conversations about the randomest stuff in the world. We all complemented the other schools on their shows and it was all around nice. I met all of these fun people, like Meghan from Medway who played Susan B. and completely carried the whole show. And then there was Phil from the school I hosted, he was really funny because he found out two hours before he got there that he was running lights. Then there were the two, wait three guys from Norwell: Colby, the bracelet boy who was just a sweetie and who should be with Jenna because that was adorable, then there was Christian, who I just like wham fell for, he was nice and punk and kind of quiet and just mmm, then finally there was the kid with my last name, I had to put him here because he made me laugh for a long time. There were so many other people too, like the creepy guy from Norwell who followed us but in a nice way and the Nobles kid with the leopard print cowboy hat and the girl who looked like Jamie. Sharon was one of the three schools, along with Newton Country Day and Durfee, that are going on to the next round next weekend. Last night we went to Scotts and talked for a long time and then I fell asleep on top of like four different people until I found a couch. So much fun, now I'm just dead tired and really drained. Lacrosse starts soon too. I hope everyone had as good a day as I did. One last quote "Yum Yum Bumble Bee, Bumble Bee Tuna." Peace (one) love. Edit: So it takes at least 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to Hamilton for Semifinals, but only 30 minutes to get to Norwell. ;) |
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Friday, March 1st, 2002 |
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Tonight was so much kicking fun and I am so ready for tomorrow. We were all squished into Christines hottub and there were way too many "thats my leg!" moments. I am so so so excited and charged and I need to go to bed now and I will write all about tomorrow tomorrow. Peace (one) love. | ||||||||
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Wednesday, February 27th, 2002 |
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The fucking tab key isnt working on my computer, and this is so fucking frustrating. I am ready to beat the shit out of my brother right now, someone needs to teach that little fuck some respect. All he cares about is what he wants and he doesnt give a damn about anything else, in short he is an asshole to the highest degree. Meanwhile I can't really swallow anymore and I think my head is going to fall off and my mom doesnt believe me when I say I'm sick. She told me I needed to get some sleep but I don't have time to do my fucking homework let alone donate time to something so counterproductive. I think this has to be my fourth entry today or something, but I really don't feel like doing anything but bitching and whining for a few hours, then going and showering and having a good catharsis so I wont be such a mess tomorrow. Need to get in shape for lacrosse too but thats not happening tomorrow cause of volpone or friday because of volpone and curfew and then not saturday because of festival and not sunday because i will be at Scott's and dead tired and then not monday because of (hopefully) rehearsal and drivers ed and that project for drivers ed and that project for french and this has to be the longest fucking runon sentence in the history of the world. Ever wish you could just have the ability to do something without putting in the work to get to that point? That would be me with music and sports and school and life and everything in general. I have like no motivation at all. I dont think I can keep my eyes open much more, so even thought the Grammys arent done and the person I want to win hasnt won a single award, I need to go get some fucking sleep and stop swearing so much. Peace (one) love. |
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I am watching the Grammys and being in a generally good mood because Craig David is talking. I got throught the English thing and there is not that much homeowork tonight and Drivers Ed got cancled and the Volpone run was great so yeah. Homentashen. Spelling to be corrected never because the yumminess speaks for itself. Time to go poke fun at silly people dressed badly on tv. Peace (one) love. | ||||
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Tuesday, February 26th, 2002 |
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I just went outside. There are pretty little purple crocuses blooming in my yard. Flowers, in February, in Massachusettes. Go Figure.![]() What is your meaning of life? |
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LiveJournal for Colleen.
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