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LiveJournal for dara (lily).
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| Friday, August 2nd, 2002 |
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| I woke up today--slept pretty well for just a small handful of hours by the way--and everything looked white. The walls are white, the blinds are white, my quilt is white, the sky was white. I was half-asleep "trying to figure it out". ;) It just felt so...different. |
| Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002 |
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It has been one busy week! I feel like I really haven't had a spare minute for anything extra. I want to write about it and get it out of my system, but I just don't have the patience to sit still;) Since the other night with the creepy man looking into my home, I haven't been able to sleep well at all. I find myself looking at the windows constantly, afraid of seeing shadowy figures again. I haven't, but the fear there is so crazy real. Last night after not sleeping much for days I had a kind of panic attack about it. I just couldn't rest. I tried breathing exercises, I read, I tried to really tire myself out dancing last night so I would be too tired to care but none of it worked. I just don't feel safe. Between this and Michael's family and the creepy phone calls and what happened last year, I'm very scared. But only when it's time for bed, ya know... |
| Monday, July 22nd, 2002 |
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It's storming outside. And I am not at all kidding when I say that the entire sky is blood red colored. |
| Thursday, July 18th, 2002 |
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They're doing the Emmy noms deal. That stuff is always so fun! Anyway, it's dark and thundery again. |
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| What?? No!! The sun's coming back out!! C'mon rain!! This is enough already!!;) |
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It's thundering right now and the west part of the sky is charcoal colored! It's amazing. I guess it's raining on the other side of the city because folx on the radio station are joking about looking outside with the feeling of looking at the first snow of the season. I am not kidding, we *need* rain so bad here. The weather has truly been horendous. Hmm...still dark but no drops yet. *crosses fingers and prays*!! |
| Monday, July 15th, 2002 |
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Poll #46804: Help Me Find Something New! Open to: all, results viewable to: friends Please suggest a book for me to read--don't hesitate to tell why you like it or why I would, too! View Answers Please suggest a song or group for me to listen to. I love hard/classic rock, cool, tough girl songwriters/guitarists, and of course--anything that fits into the electronica category (house, trip-hop, trance, etc.). Anything else would be cool to check out, too. View Answers Please suggest a delicious food or drink for me to try and once again--don't hesitate telling me why you like it or why I should, but you don't have to, blahblahblah;) View Answers (Btw, any movie rental suggestions?) View Answers |
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Poll #46744: How well do ya know me? Open to: all, results viewable to: none What is my favorite color? View Answers My middle initial is? View Answers What's my favorite food--woohoo! View Answers Ask me anything. Go ahead! (This will NOT affect your score;) Lol.) View Answers |
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Last night I was stuffy and sneezy, ew. I was so restless and it was really warm. I got up wishing I could sleep longer because I feel tired and achy. And I have felt very nausious for days which is no good. I had really weird dreams of a group of boys in the army who all tried to fight for my affections, but in the end I found out how each of them were creepy serial killers. But that part was shown to me on a tv screen in a wild Unsolved Mysteries form. It was all so weird. I got up and I'm stuffy and my gums look swollen?? And I sound nasal-y. Aww. I think I am coming down with something. In other news, I talked to Colleen a bunch to get out of my system what happened yesterday. I was bitter about the art show. It didn't happen because Mike ruined it. And I feel resentful because now I have to wait until next year again and *sighs*...It's just not fair. Colleen really has the cutest Chicago accent. It smells in this room because Min just used "the potty". The police have been here a bunch of times in the last 2 weeks. Not *here* here, but the apartment directly above us with the very strange old man. The other day they were up there with him *with* the landlord there also talking very loudly but all I could hear was loud mumbling for like hours. They were there all day. Then yesterday there was some more racket up there. I want to know what the heck's going on because I want to feel safe in my building. Besides this guy always gave me such a creepy, off vibe. Michael used to make jokes about him having a meth lab upstairs and we would laughlaughlaught over the wild stuff we would come up with to explain why he never comes outside and when he does he's not so nice to folx. The first day the cops were around--Mike, looking very serious, said "I guess he really does have some drug lab going up there" and sadly shook his head. Which caused much laughter, but now Colleen is worried;) Uh, anyway--if that was it he'd be outta here. We have the nicest, safest apartment in this city!! Ah ok, so this morning on the radio they had their morning-ly trivia question which I knew so I called right away where it was busy for like 10 minutes. Finally I got through and the first thing she says is "We just got the winner on the other line!" and asked my guess and of course, I was right. Darnit!!;) It's not how you see it, it's how it really happened. You can't cover it all up with a mean one-liner half truth because that won't save you. I'll pull that blanket off and expose the real problem underneath. |
| Thursday, July 11th, 2002 |
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It is 66 degrees outside!! Yesterday was high 90, low 86 or something. This is craziness. The sky is looking amazingly creepy, I'm just in love with it!... Who wants to go take photos with me?;) |
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I feel good. I feel good today and I felt good last night. Despite the other night. Dinner at 11pm is wonderful because most of the world is getting ready for bed but I am sitting in a cozy restaurant taking the beauty of night in with the people/person I love most. I love it. Absolutely wonderful. Fun stuff about me....... Top 3's: Movies--Dead Poets Society, Sliding Doors, Three to Tango (which is actually Michael and my movie). Drinks--Plum Green Tea (cold), Hot Mochas, Cherry Coke. Snacks--Spicy Cornnuts/Fritos, M&M;'s, Lemonheads. Books--The Kitchen God's Wife, Anne of Green Gables, Great Expectations, and honorable mentions The Stand, and The Best of the Onion;) Fruit--strawberries!, peaches, and blueberries. Foods--nachos, beef Chicago hotdogs, and C. pizza! Things--love, water, music. |
| Tuesday, July 9th, 2002 |
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So at midnight I gave Michael his cake--the same thing that he did for me on my birthday last week. I was putting sparkler candles on the cake before going in the living room to surpirise him and instead of being the extra cautious lady that I am, I lit them right there on the bed--and set my Hello Kitty comforter on fire!! I was so bummed. It's just a small spot, although I was scared in the moment when I saw a few small flames coming from the material. It's on the bottom so it's tough to see, but that burn mark is still there and I am sad about it cos it's one of my fav blankets. Grrrr! More for later if I have the time. |
| Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002 |
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I just watched the movie Arlington Road and all I can say is OMG! (Couldn't even say it, see, because I wrote the o m and g instead;) So well written, creepy as hell movie, crazy-wild ending, and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Wildness! |
| Tuesday, June 25th, 2002 |
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I finally got my storm photos on the puter after months of not having the time. I have yet to paint with them and to use them in my collages, but hopefully I will have the motivation for it soon. I want to post a few wild gorgeous ones here soon, though;) Anyway, I found these photos that were taken of me and I was amazed at how just by looking at them I could go from feeling hot to cold.   |
| Friday, June 14th, 2002 |
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HAPPY 1 YEAR ENGAGEMENT ANNIVERSARY FOR MICHAEL AND DARA! One year ago in the early evening after a beautiful, amazing day, Michael and I sat on the floor of my then apartment talking about how much we love each other. How this love feels like nothing else and how we never want it to end. I was shaking but he seemed so calm. We sat there so close, almost like hiding in each other. He told me he wanted more then anything to marry me. That he was more sure about this than he has been about anything in his entire life. I told him I was going to marry him--no doubt about it. We were holding hands and hugging so tight and laughing so hard out of nervousness and crying so hard out of joy. This, we both agree, was one of the best and most complete days of our lives. I love you the most, M. |
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Okay--it has to be stress and maybe guilt over that stress that won't let me sleep? Yesterday I spent the whole time working, cleaned the house, edited tapes until 6 am where I finally went and sat down and watched tv until 7am when I went to bed and then woke up THREE HOURS later with a splitting headache and major nausia. I cannot rest!!!! My "nights of sleep" are not "nights" they are only NAPS! I go to bed feeling like there is so much I still have to take care of and wake up with the same feeling and I feel, and this is creepy: that I am living the same day everyday because of this! No matter how different the previous day is it feels like I never get to rid myself of it with good refreshing sleep. *frustrated and a bit sad over this* My life needs to be more like one thing at a time but I just don't know how to make myself do that... So I am doing a poll about this--please answer if you can--I *need* something more than this! Poll #40459: I Need Some Honest-To-God Sleep! Open to: all, results viewable to: none Please offer your suggestions for anything that may help me get rest. I need a good night's sleep!! (Thank you in advance;) View Answers |
| Thursday, June 13th, 2002 |
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| (A very heavy storm just started. *dances around*) |
| Wednesday, June 12th, 2002 |
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Poll #40025: Movies. Open to: all, results viewable to: all Please give me suggestions for good movies that are not depressing or end with graphic death scenes! (I need something that won't give me nightmares.) View Answers |
| Tuesday, June 4th, 2002 |
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Woo woo! I got all the things I wanted to do done today, yay! And I made so much food for tonight that our home is starting to look like a potluck is growing OUT of it...er something;) Outside it's so dark, it's looks like it's ready to crazy storm. I've got a camera ready. (Hopefully it will be the mellow, wonderful evening I've been planning for.) |
| Monday, June 3rd, 2002 |
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| (This weekend was very *very* good;) |
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LiveJournal for dara (lily).
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thoughtful.
determined.
happy.
silly.
0 (0.0%)
okay.
sleepy.
accomplished.