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(Speak or face my sword!) [Tuesday Aug 27 2002 01:01am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | "Baby It's Cold Outside" - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong ] Okay -- Attention Everyone! (that cares...) I have changed my email address to: Azraela330@yahoo.com As much as web-based emails drive me nuts, the Yahoo email layout is about as much to my liking that I will find, I think. I have to give up my Concentric account when I go to school, because my mom isn't using it anymore, either. And when I go to Bard, I'll be on the ethernet, so I won't need the dial-up number anymore. I've calmed down a bit, but I'm still a little cranky. **goes to take a tinkle** Aw, I'm sorry, was that too much information? Did you not care to hear that? Well, too fucking bad! Ok, I'm calm. Perfectly calm. I'll listen to some Ella Fitzgerald to calm down. **wheeeeeww** Ok, I'm good. Good night, everybody...

(Speak or face my sword!) Bleeeeeeh.... [Monday Aug 26 2002 11:08pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" Dance Mix ] Grrrr!! Today was a big let-down. I wanted to hang out with friends since I'm leaving soon, and David called and wanted to hang out. Great, I said, and he came over. We hung out, walked around the neighborhood, and then Abby came over. David had said that he had to get up really early tomorrow morning, so at around 8-ish, when he said he had to go, it was fine. I was just, y'know, a little grumpy that he had to leave. Then, Abby said she would leave with him, which completely took me aback. I got annoyed and got a little pissy, and then finally said (to David) "Fine, you can leave, but" (then to Abby) "you can stay, c'mon." I guess it came out really nasty, or maybe David was just being Mr. Sensitive Pain-in-the-Ass, because he then stormed out of my place. Grrr... It just pissed me off to high hell. Luckily, Abby was much nicer about it. I finally made a doctor's appointment, with an actual doctor with their own private practice (a gyno, that is)... Of course, I knew it wouldn't be able to be any time soon, so I just made an appointment for a Friday in late September, so I could come down for just a 3-day weekend. When I told my mom, I thought she'd be pleased that I'd finally made an appt... But instead she got all pissy. "So you're already planning on cutting classes, this far ahead? Gee, that makes me feel great about you going off to school." What the fuck did she expect? We'd spoken about it already, I thought she knew that I was going to have to make some kind of arrangement like this. Another thing... And I know it sounds trite... But I really hate having to change my email address! I've had this one for over 4 years now, and I hate having to let it go. Plus, I really love using Eudora -- an email program, it's got a good address book thing and it's just really nice to use. And I hate web-based emails like hotmail and stuff. I don't know what to use. Stupid crap. I can't wait to get to Bard... Sheesh... Away from my parents...

(Speak or face my sword!) 7 more days!!! [Sunday Aug 25 2002 03:15pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | "Your Song" - Moulin Rouge ] One more week until I'm at Bard! Woo-haa! I spent the weekend at Seth's, and got back around 2-ish today. There was a message on the voicemail from my uncle Michael, saying that my other uncle Brian was in town, and they were going to dinner, and we were invited. Mom & Dad are upstate at the country house, but I want to go... I called Michael at his place, but I just got the machine, and I don't have his cell number. Damn! I tried calling Mom & Dad upstate, but they didn't answer. They're probably out biking. Maybe I'll try Christine and see if she's got it the number. Ummm... I need to pack. And buy some more things for school. On Thursday, Seth and I went to Staples, and then Bed Bath & Beyond and did a ton of shopping. At Staples, I got folders, pens, poster tape, a desk sorter thing, a cork board, and scissors... And he got a printer and a file case. At Bed Bath & Beyond, I got a husband (y'know, the big pillows with arms), a shower caddy, red bedsheets, and a cup. And Seth got... a whole bunch of stuff, I forget exactly what. Last night we watched "Moulin Rouge" again. It was kind of late and he started to fall asleep, but when the "Roxanne" scene came up, he put his glasses on and attempted to sing along, all throaty-like. He's a nut! But he's my nut. :) I love that boy!

(2 comments|Speak or face my sword!) [Wednesday Aug 21 2002 12:01am] [ mood | ditzy ] [ music | "Come What May" running thru my head ] "Come what may.. Come what may... I will love you until my dying day!..." This will be perfect... Perfect I tell you. This will be like one of those fairytale stories that you thought didn't exist. This long-distance relationship will be... like... fine. More than fine. Good and wonderful... Ok, ok, it will be difficult, but I love Seth dearly and I know that things will be fine when I leave. ...I'm so silly, I hadn't listened to the "Moulin Rouge" soundtrack in a while, and now that I am again, it's got me all anxious over this. I hadn't had a single worry about it. And now I'm okay, I guess. I'm sorry, my head's been kind of funny today. I'd actually developed a sort of decent sleeping pattern, and then last night just threw my whole system off. Stupid, stupid me... Don't know why I stayed up so late. And I was all lazy today, I just sat around playing Diablo and watching old "Sopranos" episodes (on dvd) and watching bad TV. Didn't even read. Bleh. I can't wait to get back to Bard. I'm so bored out of my skull, just sitting around! Mom was right, I should have taken a few extra work days. Waaaaait a second... No fucking way! Tomorrow's my last day at that goddamn place, and I've decided that I am going to live it up! I'm gonna dress all sexy and show 'em what they'll be missing, I'm gonna smile at every nice customer and stick my tongue out at every bad customer... I'm gonna smack Rob if he does one more thing to piss me off, I'm gonna tell off Nadine if she's bitchy to me one more time, and... I'm going to give Franci a huge, huge hug because I'm going to miss her so much... Blah be de blah blo bla bla!! NO MORE FUCKING BARNES & NOBLE!!!

(Speak or face my sword!) [Tuesday Aug 20 2002 01:28pm] [ music | "Crush" - DMB ] Just thought of another thing... I need to change my email (for good this time) when I go back to Bard. I don't want to just use my Bard email, I like having two accounts. The thing is, I hate the way a lot of those hotmail sites and similar things are set up. I want to be able to continue to use Eudora for email, but I doubt I could do that with any web-based email. I dunno. Anybody got any suggestions? I'm hungry... But there's nothing in the house. Maybe I'll go out to do some school supply shopping and get a bite while I'm out. Yes, that's what I'll do. After I shower.

(Speak or face my sword!) [Tuesday Aug 20 2002 12:54pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | "April 26, 1992" - Sublime ] Dammit. I just woke up 15 minutes ago to the sound of the phone ringing... It was Seth, wanting to know where I was. Fuck... I was supposed to meet him on his break so we could have lunch together. That's what happens when I don't go to bed until 4 am. Argh! I really want Diablo II back. Diablo (I) is so lame in comparison... I've been playing it again because I've been wanting to play games so badly. I also want to play more Final Fantasy X. It's such an awesome game! RPGs rock. Jesus, I'm so out of it, things are looking funny without my glasses. I thought wearing them more often was supposed to make your eyesight better? Bleeeeh... I guess I'll put them back on. *does so* Ah, that's better.

(Speak or face my sword!) [Tuesday Aug 20 2002 02:43am] Oog... I was hungry, so I heated up some leftover pasta. I think I put too much oil in it because now, my tummy feels nasty. Gross. I can't fucking waaaaait to get back to Bard! I wanna start packing now! I wanna go now! I'm so excited. I should go to bed, shouldn't I. I'm all weird... I've been up for too long. Nightie night... ( Some quiz results... )

(Speak or face my sword!) Mmm... Bed... [Sunday Aug 18 2002 12:17pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | the subway rumbling nearby ] I'm over at Seth's place. We just got up like 15 minutes ago. We're both supposed to be at work at 2 o'clock. Do-able, but... his bed is calling out to me. I slept so well last night, I just want more! My check-up at planned parenthood was supposed to be yesterday, but get this. I had a 2:45 appt, and when I got there, they said that all the morning appointments were still going on, and they wouldn't be able to get to me today. So I had to friggin' reschedule!! Luckily, the woman I talked to did say that I could go back to having sex, and that i didn't have to wait until my rescheduled appointment. Thank God!!! I was starting to go nuts! Seth and I had a blast last night. Great sex, great video games (FFX), and good food (I made dinner). Ok, need to get dressed now. I'm sitting here in only a towel. **blush** And my babe's nekkid! Well, he's in the shower. anyway, later, all. Oh yes -- and only 3 more days of work!! and 2 weeks until I'm back at Bard!!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!

(Speak or face my sword!) Rambling... I'm raaaaambling awaaaaay... [Friday Aug 16 2002 12:10pm] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | "Kryptonite" - 3 Doors Down ] Ah... Wheee! I called out today, I figured what the hell. I never got a chance to use my sick days, so I'm just gonna use 'em now! Hurray for getting paid for taking the day off! I did my exercises this morning: good for me, yay! The crunches are really making my tummy burn, but that just means they're working. I asked my Dad if he could help me get my bike back out and fix it, and he looked like he might faint. "Yes Dad, that's right, I finally want to get back on my bike. You gonna help me or not?" Well, I didn't actually say that. Anyhoo... Stuff to do today, let's see: - Hand wash shirts - Read "Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears" - Read "Faith of the Fallen" - Call Seth, possibly go over - Go into Union Square, get rye sourdough bread - Go to Banana Republic, try on some jeans I really want to go back to Seth's and play more Final Fantasy X. When I first started it, I thought it was kind of boring, but now I've gotten really into it. And there's a character named Lulu in it! ( Do you think she's hotter than me? ) I'm thinking seriously about trying to get to be part of RPG'ing at Bard when I go back. I'm just nervous that all the pros will laugh at me. I've never done live RPG'ing, only computer game ones. Crap, what am I gonna do about my check? Maybe I'll get it tomorrow. Yeah. Before the apppointment. Sounds like a good plan. Ok, off to take a shower and then do other stuff. Buh bye!

(Speak or face my sword!) Union Square Park becoming Druggie Central [Monday Aug 12 2002 10:06pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | "Crush" - Dave Matthews Band ] Oh man, my mind's in the gutter... The toilet paper in the bathroom has its motto printed on the side of the plastic: "Soft, strong, lasts long!" I started giggling madly. That doesn't sound like toilet paper, it sounds like my boyfriend! Ok, that just sounded stupid. I was in Union Square park today and there were a lot of druggies and homeless people around -- Much, much more noticable than usual. Unfortunately, I sat down next to one of the druggies, not realizing she was one. She turned to me and said, "Excuse me... I know this is sort of a weird question... But I've been on speed all day and now I'm feeling really uh... messed up... Do you know what I should take?" Of course, I was completely taken aback, not to mention completely at a loss as to what to tell her, so I said "Well, there's a hospital right over there," and pointed to the east side of the park, where the main entrance to Beth Israel Hospital was. She replied, "No... I um... Do you know what it is I should take for it?" "I have no idea." "Oh. So you don't do... uh..." "No. Sorry." At that point I felt terrible, like I wanted to take her over to the hospital personally and make her get treatment. But I didn't. In fact, I got up and moved to another part of the park, to get away from her and all the other depressing people. I wish I had the balls to really physically help more of all those people. Or at least give to charities that do that. But I don't have a lot of money to spare. Blargh. Ok... Changing the subject, switching to something funnier. In the cash office at work, the radio is always, always tuned into an R&B;/Rap/Soul station. Now, I like that kind of music sometimes, but it's not really my music of choice. And the songs that are played over and over (and over...) on the stupid station are sooo bad. For example, one which I think is called "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes." Or at least, that's the main line in the song, repeated over and over. Do you know this lameass song? Then ( read this! )

(Speak or face my sword!) "You, my love..." [Sunday Aug 11 2002 09:40pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | nuthin ] I was reading a gaming magazine much earlier today, and I started to write down a wish list... Totally unrealistic, of course, unless some wonderful person (/people) want to get me any of the following... - An X-Box - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (Xbox game) - "Tekken 4" (PS2 game... I'd get it as a present for Seth and then hog it all the time, hee hee!...) - "Return to Castle Wolfenstein" (PC game) There were some others but I don't actually have the list, actually, I must have thrown it out. Oh well. Wheeeeee! The most hated manager at our store is transferring to a different branch. Everyone is overjoyed. It was funny, I asked Luis today "So did you hear the good news?" And his instant answer was, "That John's leaving??" We both started laughing madly. Damn, it's so great. As Vanessa says, "That man's got a 10-foot pole up his ass!" Hee hee... I went to Paragon and tried on a swimsuit, and I'm definitely going to get it... I put it on hold, since it was a sale item, and I'm going to get it tomorrow. It's a black tankini with purple trim. It's cuuuute!! Hmmm... Is there anything else I wanted to bring up? Oh yes -- That I have the most kick ass boyfriend on the planet. I do, honest. I bet I could prove it, if I had the funds to go all around the world and do polls and all that crap. Everyday seems to get better and better, it seems like every day when I look at him, he's looking at me even more lovingly than the day before. Siiiiiiiiiggghhhh.... "I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guuuuuuuy!" (um, from "South Pacific").

(Speak or face my sword!) [Wednesday Aug 07 2002 01:48pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | "Rite of Passage" - Theo ] I wanna get out of here. Just for a while. I want to get out of the city for a week or so, before I go back to school. I mean, I'll be out of the city when I go to school, and that'll be nice, but I need a real vacation. Have I mentioned that I worship Theo Eastwind? Bow down to he who plays the guitar and sings like it's what keeps him alive. He is so... damn... amazing. The other day I saw him playing in the Union Square subway station, and I stopped and listened to a few of his songs. At one point in a song, he switched languages and started singing in French. I wonder what he was saying... He kept looking at me. I wonder if he remembers when I introduced myself when he came into cafe at work. Mwah mwah mwah... I want Seth over here. I just can't get enough of him. He's so damn wonderful. Now if only he could sing like Theo... :) Ah well, I'll settle for slightly less than perfect. Hee hee, just kidding, sweetie!

(Speak or face my sword!) [Tuesday Aug 06 2002 10:21pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | "I Feel Free" - Cream ] Jury duty sucks. Never get put on a jury. Act like you don't speak English, or hate all people, or just something that will really throw off the lawyers. Make 'em hate you! You'll be much, much happier, I promise. Oh goodie, soup for dinner. So... nutritious... Well, I mean, it's just not a real meal. I want steak and potatoes. Yummmm... I bought two new books to read on Jury duty: "Single White Vampire Seeks Same," a vampire anthology where the personal ads are used as bait, or something like that. And "Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears," a fantasy fairy-tale-ish anthology including a story by Neil Gaiman and more. Took some cool quizzes the other day, I'll lj-cut them for those quiz snobs' benefits. :) ( You silly folk, come see the cool stuff! )

(Speak or face my sword!) Cool! [Sunday Aug 04 2002 06:49pm] [ mood | stressed ] Take the World of Darkness Quiz by David J Rust

(Speak or face my sword!) [Friday Aug 02 2002 03:02am] [ mood | sleepy ] This community is the funnest community ever! I'd add it to my friends list, but there are so many entries per day that it would completely consume my friends page. Ah well, I'll just keep tabs on it. Hmmm... Maybe I can make a friends group of just those communites that I'm part of that are like that, and then look at them individually through that other friends filter switcheroo thing. I mean. You know what I mean... Damn it's late. I need to get to bed. Now. Yes now. Ok, after I do the whole community friends switch-around thing.

(3 comments|Speak or face my sword!) [Sunday Jul 28 2002 01:11pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | "Big Eyed Fish" - DMB ] I need a hug. And I can't go to work. I get the opposite of affection at work. I'm beginning to get on bad terms with more than one of the managers. Yes, I know calling out won't help. But I can't do this anymore. Seriously. I hate this job. I'm calling out today, and Wednesday I'll be out -- but I'll have a note the next day. Tomorrow & Tuesday, I'll be in Montauk with Mom and Johannika. I need a vacation. I need a longer one, though. Like, a three-week long vacation in Puerto Rico or Tobago or somewhere like that. I'm not going in. Fuck it.

(Speak or face my sword!) [Sunday Jul 28 2002 01:07pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | "Digging A Ditch" - Dave Matthews Band ] Oh, one more thing about yesterday: On the way there, right outside Planned Parenthood, were these shithead anti-choicers, handing out flyers, crying "You don't have to do this! You're killing an innocent child!" Oh, but ruining a life that already really exists, that's just peachy, right? (Meaning me)... Fuck them. Stupid assholes. I still don't want to go to work.

(3 comments|Speak or face my sword!) [Tuesday Jul 23 2002 06:17pm] [ mood | geeky ] [ music | "Princess Bride"theme running through my head (just watched) ] Stupid, stupid, stupid computer. It won't play "Alice." I need it to play "Alice." I'm letting Seth keep "Diablo II" for a while longer, and I need to have another game to play while I wait. I can play DII at his place, and I can also play "Jak & Daxter" at his place, but I need to have something to play at home, too. Dammit, I've turned into the biggest gaming geek. The other day I was looking through some game programming books and chuckling the whole time, happily. I'm hoping that my Comp Sci class is relatively fun and not too difficult. ...I should have taken a C++ course this summer, like I was planning on. Oh well. It's all rainy and dark and windy now. I'm hoping it lets up by the time I go out to meet Seth at 8 or so. ...I wish I could just live with him... Ok, this computer is retarded. I can't find the information on its video card anywhere. I know it has one, for chrissake, but I can't even find its name anywhere. Anyone know where it might be??

(Speak or face my sword!) [Sunday Jul 21 2002 09:53pm] [ mood | okay ] This "new" computer keeps having problems. I'm gonna have a million questions for my Dad when he comes back from the country house tomorrow. I slept over at Seth's new place this weekend, both Friday & Saturday night. The apartment is pretty nice, although the neighborhood makes me a little nervous. He promises that he'll pick me up and walk me to the subway all the time, though; he's very understanding. Again, I do have the best boyfriend in the world. :)

(Speak or face my sword!) [Friday Jul 19 2002 01:09am] [ music | "Rest In Peace" - Buffy the Musical ] This is kind of annoying... On that last entry, I didn't want the text after "His own place now" to be bold & big like that; and my html is perfect... but it still looks like that. Why??? Grrr... What kind of dumb html system does LJ use?

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