dead girls dance x they burn and twirl's LiveJournal

Time:	3:57 pm.
Music:	JOJ- Super Sadist.

ok...my mom's suicidal...she flips out over me wearing a SHIRT and threatens to leave. why won't she?!!!!!!
she can talk all this shit but if I have so much as a scratch on my arm she flips out. hyp-hyp-hyp-hyp-hypocrite.

1 against the wall| your opinion is of no consequence at all

Time:	7:33 pm.
Music:	rasputina-tourniquet.

I hate studying. I can't. I need to.

I'm going to get all C+'s but saddly I do not care. I have no motivation except hate, which will only make me try less at scholastics.

We got yearbooks today, I attacked all pictures of AALB right away. Kayn and Skutz's "entries" in mine are the funniest. Skutz invited me to come over her house this summer and get high. That will so wonders for my motivation won't it? But fuck it, I can't get much lazier.
Today I was talking with Cate and Luke in S.S. and Luke was saying he was staying with his family in Poland over the summer and that it was easy to get certain things there...he did a little smoking motion and then tried to do a gesture for drinking, but stopped when he realized it ended up looking like he was giving a blowjob. lmfao. Then Cate and I made fun of him for "flirting" with a group of guys and he's cool so he wasn't all defensive like "Yo g I ain't no fag". Of course he feels the need, like all males, to clarify that he's not gay.

I need to either stop eating or start working out...I know which is easier...

*yawn*

Where is my motivation?

your opinion is of no consequence at all

Time:	6:07 pm.
Mood:	so damn BORED.
Music:	KMFDM - Angst - 06 - Move On.

ok.
Allie is pissing the fuck out of me. It's like...I'm immature and I know it but I know when to stop! I don't think she does.
I feel bad for Leah/Mich cuz she's interfering with (and not helping) their love lives. I'm not dating anyone from our school, nor would I ever, so it's not affecting me...but I feel bad for those it does annoy. *poor Leanus*
I don't think I'm easily bothered, either, so something really must be wrong, I rarely hate without reason. Of course I can't confront her...I -suck- at that. I can't believe I even talked to Leah about it (she was getting sucked in)
I hate my school. people suck ass. aaaaah. I can't believe they're taking all the new people away from me next year. All it will do is make me hate the people I have now even more. Someone please take me to CA!
I'm so glad I have music. It's all I have, in terms of keeping me sane. It's also the only interesting thing I have. I'm in the same town, same people, same shitty mall, same lousy shops in town, same teachers, same work. I know what's wrong with me...I never had depression...I'm just damn BORED. I am so BORED. I am so BORED. That keeps me underjoyed.

Chik Fil-A is opening near me on friday...it's the only fast flood place I don't hate...maybe I'll walk there with people after school...how exciting.
School is almost over and I'm sure summer will be equally as boring. I just want to sleep and wake up when I'm old enough to move out.

5 against the wall| your opinion is of no consequence at all

Time:

10:21 pm.

I'm strangely calm about the Twiggy thing. I love him but I don't know if he is totally neccisary. I think Manson only needs himself to go on. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe I just have a lot of faith in the band.
Tim rocks, I already know this, so even if he doesn't fit in so well image wise, he will add important aspects musically. I'm looking forward to the new CD regardless and I think it will be great.
I promised myself I wouldn't judge or jump to conclusions before the release, so I'll just sit back and watch.

your opinion is of no consequence at all

Subject:	sorry if they don't work
Time:	8:40 pm.

A pic of me from Dorney....notice the strategic \m/ though I still manage to look awful. I think it's 50% me and 50% the shitty camera.

eew it got blotchy from the upload, wtf? whatever.
my doggie....this is a bad pic though.

more later if i feel like it.

your opinion is of no consequence at all

Time:

7:16 pm.

Twiggy!!! *gasp* He left!! I can't believe it. I never even got to see him live =(
Tim is a good choice though, I must admit, he's very talented and I already love him...but no one can replace Twiggs. umph. does that mean he won't wear dresses anymore?

RIP Twiggz. =(

your opinion is of no consequence at all

Time:	4:31 pm.
Mood:	angry.
Music:	radiohead- no surpirses.

Fuck Mr. Hess!!!! WHY AM I GETTING A C SO FAR IN FRISBEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVEN'T BEEN UNPREPARED AND I PARTICIPATE AS MUCH AS I CAN, I JUST SUCK AT IT! I can't afford to get a C for my MP grade because my rents are still mad about the D-. fuckness.
My mom is blaming this on Kacy. She says I'm doing bad because we talk to much. How is it fucking her fault!? My mom just has to find something wrong with all of my friends and use that against me.

Summer is going so suck ass. I'm going to be so bored...mom wants to take the computer away *tear* and I'll probably get depressed again and cut and get into that whole pathetic mindset that drives me crazy. I hate the way a lot of other cutters act because I think they have flaws in their reasoning, but of course when I do it it's ok. Maybe it really is though, because I try not to be stupid about it or try to grab attention. I'm also in control. I won't get hurt, I won't get caught. It's no longer a drug for me like it once was. I wish it wasn't such a "goth" thing to do. Fucking goths ruin everything.

your opinion is of no consequence at all

Time:	8:30 pm.
Mood:	accomplished.

new LJ.
I think too many people knew the last one, it's not always safe like that.
The weirdest thing about LJ is that you are restricted with what you say for fear that the wrong person will read it...so then there's the "private entry" feature but no one uses that because as much as we all hate to admit it, the only reason 90% of people have an LJ is so others can read it. Crazy, eh?

You know that little thing under your tounge that keeps it tied down? Mine hurts. It hurts when I think about it being cut up...so I'm trying not to think about it but I am and so it feels like that's happening. I need some cold water and to make myself a new icon.
Let's see if I ever get online again...

your opinion is of no consequence at all

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