6:07PM - haha
I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Current mood: 
amused
amusedI'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
amusedsomeone should come see me today, well because they should.
boredjenny came over tonight to keep me company. it sucks staying home with a fucking bitch for a mom. espically when she likes your best friend better than you. thanks mom..i hate it because when i tried to talk to her about what was bothering me, she told me to suck it up.
i need something, anything to get me through this. what the fuck did i do? i want to die. ive got nothing to live for. more importantly no one to live for. apparently donnie wants nothing to do with me. thanks for um calling me 2 times just to tell me that you couldnt do anything with me, but yet you could do something with brendan. yeah that was nice...
im sorry josh i couldnt come out. it was my moms fault, and im sure you didnt want to talk her out of it. shes scary.
lonelywow thanks.
im a freaking hour late.
we were watching a fucking movie, i told her that.
i got food poisoning from hacienda *fuck that place, its nothing but shit*
everynight this week ive stayed in.
and the ONE night i want to go out and do something, and I come home late, its a bad thing, but if my brother was out, he would be able to stay out real late. what the fuck is that. i hate her. im sorry mom but im never going to be like her. if you want her so bad you shouldve never had me. im sure that wouldve made alot of people happy. so thank you, you brought this on yourself.
it was somewhat worth it. i got to spend SOME time with him i guess. im so sad. i feel like im left with nothing. maybe its the drinks i had earlier, but i dont feel like i have anything. i mean my mom doesnt like me, she likes all my friends better than me. my dad never liked me, ive been nothing to a dissappointment to him my whole life, he likes my brother better anyway. and donnie would rather be with brendan anyway. so why do i matter? oh wait, thats right. i dont.
lonely"what are you doing tonight?"
"oh well brendans coming over to help me with somethin"
"so that means you cant do anything with me?"
"well i dont know how long its going to take, you can still call me though"
yeah right. fuck that. im so pissed and upset. hes pissing me off. if i cant see him, im not doing anything tonight. fuck it. id just have a bad time anyway.
this is not good. i dont feel like going to practice. i cant see him, i know hes pissed at me, and i know this is not going to last very long anymore.
liz- im soo sorry. i feel so bad for you! when i see you im gonna give you a big hug!
crappywhew. i just got done eating 3 lunches. im a little full... but hey thats okay! so liz! how did you like that eh?! and the funny thing about that was donnie was standing around him when he did that! i dont know, those 2 are weird. i wonder who he was talking about in his journal...hmm..
fullyou make me feel like i do something wrong all the time. why? why do you insist on making me feel guilty for something i didnt do? i can never tell when your mad at me or just sad about things in general.
i feel bad. i miss you. all i want to do is see you. and i cant tomorrow, or thursday. maybe on friday..
gloomyjust because your birthday is tomorrow doesnt mean you can treat me like shit
pessimistici like how i matter to you. i espically enjoy it when you choose him over me.
discontentla la la
i feel much better today. i cant wait to talk to him again..
aww my poor liz is in a bad mood today. feel better.
giddytoday will be better than yesterday.
he will call me today..
maybe i'll even get to see him today.
i'll get to leave my house.
my mom and me wont fight.
i wont kill myself.
i wont eat alot and gain weight i dont need.
blahthe one fucking night that he wants to do something with me, and i cant get a ride anywhere. hes being mean to me again. i dont understand what i do wrong..
i really hate my family. all i ask if for one thing, i dont ask for money all the time, i dont ask for rides all the time. i dont understand what there fucking problem is. i hope i fucking die tonight.
lauren i called your cell phone tonight like you asked me to, you never answered it though.
pissed off"thats not lotion jenny...thats face wash!!!"
amusedyesterday was all in all a great day. woke up around 5:30, did rather well at the meet..shouldve done better but oh well i dont care! after the meet i came home showered, called lauren. then me her ryan and roger..well roger didnt exactly go sledding he sat in the car like a pussy. but we all went sledding, lauren knocked off my shoe 2 times...and her ass landed on the back on my head, which then made me land face first into the snow. ouch, thank you! its burning today!! then we went to eat at applebees, then we were off to todds house to go sledding some more! haha yes the 2 wheeler. my ass hurts real bad from that..lauren im sure your head hurts too..haha. after about 2 hours of that, we all came inside to warm up. donnie came over on his snow mobile. he took me for a ride on that, then we came inside to watch half baked. hah good movie there..too bad i fell asleep =P. oh well. today is a rest and eat day..so if you wanna talk to me you can call me..ill be home!
contentso after practice today, me and lauren went to carls house and went sledding...that was alot of fun! i espically liked it when i was walking up the hill and lauren plowed into me and then little mike did...haha thanks. i feel bad about my shoulder hitting todd..oops. sorry about that....it was an accident!! and did i mention the paint fumes?! good lord.
but then carl made some comments to me..."i dont know, it might just be me but you spending the night at some other dudes house would make me wanna break up with you.."...."i know you nikki, and you and donnie dont seem to be a good couple, you 2 dont seem right for eachother.."..."he thinks somethings up with you and that other guy..."...."i would break up with you if you were my girlfriend..."
yeah thanks....its nice to know this..and now i dont know what to believe, is he right? or am i just being paranoid for no reason...he is donnies best friend. so i dont know. but that really upset me tonight..and until i talk to him about it, im going to be paranoid about it..i know somethings gonna happen... argh im so fucking worried about it..i wanna cry or something..
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