Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in L33t h0t \/\/in9 |\/|45t4!'s LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 22nd, 2002
1:43 am	stairs sometimes I think that other people get off on making it harder for other people to achieve happiness... almost like they're bitter "my life wasn't happy so yours won't be either" maybe.. I don't know. it's sad and depressing and I want it to end, I want to stop it. I want to make things easier on people, I want to make people happy, and help them out, to ease stress and try my hardest to calm people down, or cheer them up and I want to succeed. sometimes I feel like I fail... I've been trying recently... but I don't know how much good it's doing... despite all of that, I'm pushing my doubts aside.. doubts slow us down and our goal isn't reached as easily. there's always going to be another step in life, that never ends. the trick is knowing what the next step will be and how to take it. the hard times come when we can't see the stair case and have to move blindly into the world... if we fall.. we need to walk all the way up again, but the more we walk the stronger we get, and the less pain and hurt the next fall will lead us... it's hard to do with little help, it's even harder when alone. I want to be the person to help someone else get past that dark spot, where that whole is, and walk with them, helping them a little and getting past the hole... the pit fall, to keep moving through life to happier times. I know they exist, the happier times... they light the way at the end of the tunnel.. because the happiness outweighs the bad so much, we need to strive for it... we need to reach for it.. we need to see it. if we let the darkness blot out that light then hope is lost... I want to save hope... I want to help people. ...I want the suffering to end. Current Mood: hopeful (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Thursday, November 21st, 2002
12:10 am	..... OH MY GOD THEY HAVE A CURE FOR COLD SORES I SHOULD RUN OUT AND BUY IT CONSIDERING IT'S ONLY A VACCEN FOR A HARMLESS VIRUS!! QUICK LETS ALL GET COLD SORE MEDICATION!! ~_~ ...this is sad... WORK ON SOMETHING MORE DEADLY THAN A FUCKING COLD SORE YOU MORONS! >_< HOW ABOUT CURING EBOLA?! OR MILLIERA?! OR AIDS?! OR CANCER!! no, they deciede "cold sores" it's THE most HARMLESS virus IN THE HISTORY OF MAN KIND. "oh a cold sore." what's the first thing that you think of when you see this... "oh my god i should go to the hospital! the pain oh my god it hurts!!" or "...feh" this cure for the cold sore... is sad. Current Music: Tool - Eulogy (4 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Tuesday, November 19th, 2002
11:25 am	http://maddox.xmission.com/pledge.html he's got a point. in both rights, by all technicalities, we shouldn't get any days off for Christmas&channuka;, and the reason we don't bitch is paid vactions and the like. heh, still got nothing against getting days off for it though e.e Current Music: DDR Full - Butterfly (4th Remix) (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Monday, November 18th, 2002
6:20 pm	... yes... they made crack just so this song could be written.. the title isn't nearly as confusing as the song Current Music: They Might Be Giants - Flight of the Barking Death Squirrel (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Saturday, November 16th, 2002
11:11 pm	IF I HEAR ONE MORE FUCKING "GANGSTA RAP" SONG I'M GOING TO GO INSANE!!! >_< ::hears another:: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! **>___<** ::explodes:: ( Try some wings...)
9:47 pm	Sergis is god ...mmmmm meatlovers pizza all to myself... life is good.... good good goood pizza... ::BUUUURRRP:: and a small with 6 slices.... that's a medium in pizza hut ( Try some wings...)
Thursday, November 14th, 2002
2:52 pm	silly British K-nig-its! What Monty Python Holy Grail Quest Character are You? brought to you by Quizilla ( Try some wings...)
Wednesday, November 13th, 2002
11:28 am	distance To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold, utopian dream. You do something to me that I can't explain. So would I be out of line if I said, I miss you. I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away. I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you. Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Incubus - I Miss You (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Monday, November 11th, 2002
4:53 pm	retrodirect45: I was wondering, when it is sunny there, do you ever go sit by that stream for the hell of it and contemplate the meaning of life? Or try to sketch the wildlife? Or develop a theory of why chipmunks haven't figured out how to take over the world yet? ZithAlexandrata: heh ZithAlexandrata: actually... i do doodle retrodirect45: You know what the reason is for that don't you. Why the chipmunks haven't taken control? ZithAlexandrata: ..they're chipmunks/ retrodirect45: Wrong... pants. ZithAlexandrata: ...digi-pants? retrodirect45: Because we're a male dominated society, all the people in power are men. If pants weren't around, we'd all be walking around with our nuts exposed. Then those chipmunks would have us by the balls. ZithAlexandrata: ... retrodirect45: Gotta watch out retrodirect45: What, you think I'm joking? ZithAlexandrata: ...no no.. there are lots of chipmunks here though.. retrodirect45: The squirrels aren't a problem, rednecks and youth with shot and BB guns take care of them. But chipmunks are just so cute! Who would expect their ultimate goal of domination? retrodirect45: (I'm sure you'll have fun posting this theory on Livejournal) ( Try some wings...)
Sunday, November 10th, 2002
1:38 pm	"IT'S SNOOING IT'S SNOOOOING!!" "what's snoo?" "i don't know what's new with you? ^.^" ZithAlexandrata: ...d00d it's saining... j03: it's always raining ZithAlexandrata: ...no.. ZithAlexandrata: sain.. ZithAlexandrata: it's.. snow.. and... rain.. ZithAlexandrata: ...your weather hurts.... j03: oh, yup, we call it slushing ZithAlexandrata: ... ZithAlexandrata: it hurts j03: yes... j03: I hate it ZithAlexandrata: me to... o.o; j03: it makes the brain ache with confusion (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Saturday, November 9th, 2002
4:57 am	before I go to bed... I think true love is when the thought of just holding someone close gives you a warm feeling in your chest that seems to occur from your heart to your head... and you feel the most wonderful undescribable feeling ever... man I can't even put this in to words.... heh.. don't know why I'm trying.. so many people have tried and failed.. oh well, me being cheesy again. I love you Caruh. ::blows kiss and sleeps:: (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
4:49 am	hehe ^^;; What Kind of Virgin Are You? brought to you by Quizilla (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
12:51 am	..for some reason I feel like I've gotten dumber ever since I left for college... I don't know why but I feel like more of an idiot... and my spelling in general has managed to get even worse... and this is just kinda... disturbing I guess.. my common sense hasn't increased either.. I keep doing stupid things and missing obvious metaphors and... arg... Current Mood: confused (1 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
Friday, November 8th, 2002
6:51 pm	YAY! GUNS! ::in chaney, eating, Tom and drew come up to me:: Tom: the god father wishes you come for your ass kicking bitch. me: hm? drew: are you free tomorrow? me: I have absolutely positively nothing to do tom: wanna get shot? ^_^ me: ...I suddenly have plans o.o; tom: paint ball me: those plans just feel through ^.^; drew: sweet. ( Try some wings...)
Thursday, November 7th, 2002
4:54 pm	agree http://maddox.xmission.com/cnn_sucks.html this is so very very very very true. you know the only news program I watch? Daily Show, want to know why it's sad? I find the daily show has more detailed information than CNN... kinda funny huh? ( Try some wings...)
Wednesday, November 6th, 2002
11:52 pm	capitalism. RANT okay... Gerry's been playing 'Gangsta" Rap for the last 30 minutes and it's driving me NUTS. mainly because I actually think about the lyrics (note: to those who use logic... don't...). I gave it a chance, yes I did. and you know what? if these people are telling the truth.... they should be arrested... why?! BECAUSE MURDER IS ILLEGAL! a verse or two tell how he killed 3 people because they were talking shit... either you're lying, or you're a killer... either way, you SUCK. I mean.. if you had a fricken REASON to kill them, like oh.. they jumped you and tried to kill you, then go ahead do that... BUT THE IDEA ABOUT CONCEALING MURDER IS TO NOT TELL ANY ONE ABOUT IT. I seriously want to know what genius thought of this idea... ~.~; "Hey I just killed somebody!" "wow" "and I got away with it!" "cool!" "I'm going to write a song telling about all the details and where I hide the body and how I did it and why and with what gun and where I got the gun and make money!" "...is that such a good idea?" "how could it not be?!" I seriously don't think any of this is "Real" or "straight from the streets". want to know why? your chances of getting signed and being 'lagit' are very slim, Maybe a few A VERY VERY VERY FEW rappers are "lagit" but the rest are just cashing in on stupidity. as said by tool... "Fuck all you gun totting hip gangster wanna be's" because just because you have a gun means nothing. I'm more afraid of a kid with a bb gun than I am of a kid with a real gun, want to know why? a kid knows a bb gun won't kill me. a kid knows a gun can. by the time he gets the balls to kill someone, I've take the gun away, thrown it across the room, and smacked him in the face with my Shini, because I know that can only hurt you, and not even badly. seriously half the people who brag "don't mess I'm packin" would never EVER have the guts to take another human life, no matter how "Lagit" they were, or how "Gansta", because if they are, then they just have something wrong with them, and if that's the case... I'd rather not give a psychopath money. thank you. ( Try some wings...)
Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
8:24 pm	I NEED A CAPE RESTATE THE SUBJECT!!!! (2 Are begging for Death| Try some wings...)
4:29 pm	I LIKE SWORDS! XD *knight* a courageous and powerful warrior. brave; integritous; commanding [Final Fantasy Tactics Job Class] ( Try some wings...)
Sunday, October 27th, 2002
10:43 pm	stupid fuckin virus's any one have any info on WORM_SURNOVA.C it's an uncleanable virus on me puter ( Try some wings...)
9:01 pm	the worry... after talking to caruh for a while... i've figured out a few things. I hate school I hate being away from home and probly the most important: I don't think the major I have is going to be as usful for my future as I thought it was going to be.... i'm going to start looking at schools again... really looking hard this time, not just reading what HS sent to me. so I use the mighty Transfer button. ::push:: as a note: this in no way means i'm giving up on the classes I have. not by a long shot, i'm still going to try my best to get through this semester with at least a 2.5 GPA., so there! i'm going to try and transfer out of canton and into another school (Stony brook maybe) and hopefully to a better program. Current Mood: complacent ( Try some wings...)