Xx BeAuTiFuL iNsAniTy xX's LiveJournal

Subject:	too lazy to think up title...
Time:	7:36 pm.
Mood:	chipper.
Music:	StudentRick- Falling for you.

Well this weekend (so far) has really made up for my shitty week. Friday I went to the gym with Molly and we worked out for 2 hours it felt sooo good, so our new thing is going to the gym every day afterschool. Yay! After I came home and showered etc..I went to Brianas to sleepover. Aya and Ally were there and Mr. and Mrs. T went out so we hung out- I scanned some pix from the show, we watched The Nightmare Before Christmas...just silly shit like that. Me Bri and Ally played a joke on Adria teehee -^-^- Lets just say that she had the phone and was ready to call 911~lol! It was so fun just to be there again FINALLY my mom lets me and it was sooo great - just good times hanging out with my best friend being stupid. So we went to bed at around 3am and we hadda get up at 7 to go to Randolph for this VIP showing of Harry Potter. Vince came and he drove us in the 'cool car' and the tonds. drove with cassie in the other car. The movie was good except me bri and vince missed the magic show before the movie because there was this retard who couldnt scoop the ice cream! Hmm then we came back and lounged around all day and Eric came over and all of us laid on Briana's bed and watched the movie again, played with the hampster, and talked about dirty potatos.Me and Eric...yeah... It was pretty funny we were laying under the covers and then Briana jumped over Eric and squished in between us and said,"mommy! daddy! i wet my beD! can i sweep wif yew?" (hmm..sound familiar?) so i said, "suck it up bitch,mommy and daddy are busy making you a new lil bro" lol good times. Then we wandered around in our pajamas some more and then i came home and here i am. To you it might sound like a normal chill out day but it really was special because i mean, it's taken SOOO long for my mom to finally suck it up and let me go over there again and she is my BEST friend It's always Bri and Allie~ and we had a great talk about love and guys and being used...it was just a great day. OH yeah and Eric called me and we talked for a while that kid is so funny--i really like it when u are with a guy and he at least has the courtsy to give you a call afterwards.
<3 Allie <

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Subject:	Sittin on my ass all day, thinkin bout my hangover, and the party....
Time:	9:44 pm.
Mood:	devious.
Music:	Pat blah blah blahing in my ear yack yack yack....

Well guys Im really bored and fucken ugh today was just ugh im having the most EMO fucken week I can't wait for tomorrow I need to get some I need to meet someone new!!! I'm sick of these guys that are all friends with each other bah its like dating a buncha brothers. ANYways soo yeah went to Katys house after school had sum good laughs huh Bill? Worked on a history project it was very progress-ful. ish. yeah.

1) Single or Taken: must you rub it in!?!? single :(
>2) Sex: Female
>3) Birthday:December 19
>4) Sign: Sagitarius
>5) Siblings: nada
>6) Hair color: dirrty blondish with blonde streaks
>7) Eye color: blueish/greensih
>8) Shoe size/height: 9// 5-5ish
>
>*-;-* R e l a t i o n s h i p s *-;-*
>
>1) Who are your best friends?: BRIANA! and the rest of the rebels
>2) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: and again...
>
>*-;-* F a s h i o n S t u f f *-;-*
>
>1) Where is your favorite place to shop? onlinw
>2) Any tattoos or piercings? 2 piercings, had 3 more to come..
>
>*-;-* T h e E x t r a S t u f f *-;-*
>
>1) Do you do drugs: rarely
>2) What kind of shampoo do you use: i've got the urge to herbal baby
>3) What are you most scared of: the life not lived (:
>4) What are you listening to right now: my new Thursday cd (Thanks, Brian!)
>5) What vehicle do you wish to have? 87ish z80 camero
>6.) Who is the last person that called you: Pat
>7.) Where do you want to get married: a beach
>8) How many messenger buddies do you have on right
>now: I'm signed off
>9)If you could change anything about yourself, what
>would it be? too many things to even name

>*-;-* F a v o r i t e s *-;-*
>
>1) Color: pink, black, blue
>2) Whats your fav. food?: ummm...food...good...
>4) Boys names:Damien, Austin, i like unique names
>5) Girls names: ummm..
>6) Subjects in school: ummm X
>7) Animals: penguins!
>8) Sports:snowboarding, sk8n(watchin it)
>
>*-;-* H a v e Y o u E v e r *-;-*
>
>1) Given anyone a bath:umm myself
>2) Smoked: yeah
>3) Bungee jumped: wanna
>4) Broken the law: yepâ€¦. ;)
>5) Made yourself throw-up: um, maybe
>6) Went skinny dipping: Yuppers (good times cabn 5!)
>7) Ever been in love: I have no idea anymore
>8)get out of trouble?: occasionally
>
>*-;-* W h a t C o m e s T o M i n d *-;-*
>
>1)Red: rumâ€¦ haha the shining
>2)Cow tipping: asher!
>3)Socks: warm, but conformist-likeâ€¦ haha
>4)Greenland: umm, green?
>
>
>*~-;-~*w h a t ' s w o r s e ?*~-;-~*
>
>1) Barfing on your date or your date barfing on you?:ehhh...barfing on my date

>
>*-;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *-;-*
>
>1) Do you like filling these out:nope, but I am fucken bored!
>4) Gold or Silver: SILVER.. tehe
>5) What is the last film you saw at the movies: the ring!!!! eek
>6) Favorite cartoon character: courage the cowardly dog! yah!
>7) What do you have for breakfast in the morning: *thinks* nuffin..
>8) Who would you love being locked in a room with: ooooooh you know *wink

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Subject:	if these walls could talk....
Time:	6:18 pm.
Mood:	disappointed.
Music:	finch- stay with me.

Today kinda sucked. No, let me rephrase that, today REALLY sucked. Lets look over the day:
*Woke up with headache
*took cold shower scuz NO ONE LEFT ALLYSE ANY HOT WATER!!! and there is like, 3 people total living in my house. Damn.
*did homework and started some random project that i don't even know what its on.
i was feelin a lil low, so i talked to Dan B. He's really good at the helping-out thing. He made me feel 132920643128461384 times better. Thanks sponk!
Oh yeah, last nite----ummm...i talked to jared. We talked about life and love and all that shit he really is a nice guy he's just been thru SOO much more than he should have. He really likes this girl and i hope they end up getting together because he really deserves to be happy.
As for me- well, I think I'm just gunna fly solo for a while. See what happens. I'm just not waiting around and killing myself over a guy anymore. It's really not my style to be all, desperate-like. I got my report card and I'm not doing so great, so my main focus is school. (shocker, huh?) Mmmmmmmm.....thats about it...i feel like i'm forgetting something....oh well. Must not be important.
*Allie*

Lil thing Jared sed last nite that made me feel special:
BFtail22: C'mon Allie, you are the Britney Spears in my life, you aren't suppoed to give a fuck! But we'll get through this shit, I promis

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Subject:	lately i've been contemplating jumping in the ocean....
Time:	1:31 pm.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	Alkaline Trio- Goodbye Forever.

There's so much to say but no way to say it all. This whole past week has just been so weird. I know what I feel but I'm so sick of being the only one with feelings that I'm not even gunna get into it. Basically, the song of my life is Vainglory by 34spoons. "I'm sure that you've grown used to the one night stand" bleh. It's not what i wanted at all. Anyway, yesterday was fun. There was a free show at the p-ville park and Pointing North (Adam & Brians band) Taunt the Jester, Takes the Cake (Jake, John ), 34spoons, and an acoustic ANB. I met a guy who looks JUST LIKE JAKE but he has a lip ring it was cool I took sum pix of him he's the bassist in Takes The Cake. I took lots of pictures and promised to give Jess of 34spoons the ones of them for their site, so he gave me a free shirt. :) Ashley got really really really mad at me during the end but after i talked to her and we're okay now. Drew was there but he didn't say anything to me. -=shrug=- oh wells. Adam and I are tight again, he let me have his wristband. (thanks hunnie) Paul dyed his hair back to a blondish-orange it looks spiffy. hmm....oh yeah, Note To Everyone AVOID SEEING THE RING! IT IS THE SCARIEST SHIZNET YOU WILL EVER SEE IT'S LIKE STEVEN KING MEETS EDGAR ALLEN POE ON CRACK. I saw it with Bri and Meri. *shudder*
So now I am procrastinating about a damn Biology project and im so bored and I am just gunna hafta whine about it now.
Love*
Allyse

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Subject:	Bleh
Time:	6:52 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	The Casualties- nightmare.

Dumb bum prep teachers are a really big pain in my ass!!! Already this year, at least 3 of my friends have been in trouble for "inapproprate" jewelry. HELLO? You make us wear uniforms, and so the only way left for us to be individual is thru accessories. But NOOOOO!!! Just take that away from us too! Drew was smart and fucked the system up by sneaking into the office and taking his bracelets back while sum people distracted the secretary....but Chris...Chris needs a good shove..or a hug...maybe a hug then a shove....well anyway he's been going through a shitty time lately, getting accused of cheating (WHICH HE WASN'T!) getting in trouble for his bracelets, (what? like, 4 total?) just a lot of shit. Sometimes he hides it, he'll be really happy and funny (the hot chocolate from god) and the next it's like he took a vow of silence. Jeeze, after school he totally smashed a locker in! I just want him to know that I'm here for him...that goes for all my friends. I'M HERE FOR YOU and i hope that if i ever need you guys....you'll be there for me.

My Awesum Possum Buddies

Thats a pic from afterschool in lateish Sept.
From lower right clockwise: Lauren, Briana, Me, Tolsen, Chris, Re

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Subject:	Just another day in the life of allyse...
Time:	7:10 pm.
Mood:	uncomfortable.
Music:	SmileyKids- love your enemies.

Today was just..off. For some reason i was just uber tired and cranky. (no, im not PMSing) There was something lazy in the air today. Kinda depressing. Anyways, I broke up with Andrew. There was just no chemistry. I mean, emotionally, he was my perfect match. But sexually--there was nothing. Like he was made to be my best friend or something. -=shrug=- I hope we can be friends. I know its really harsh, right after homecomming...but i felt like i would be leading him on if i stayed going out with him 'just to spare his feelings'. Cuz in the end it woulda just been worse. Right. On a lighter note, on sunday my parents took me and Lau to Salem. It was alright, it felt really tourist-e and fake. I mean, there was a sign that was like, "Real Spell Casting By Professional Witches"...what self-respecting real witch would do that? Oh well...publicity i guess. Blah i say. But it was fun none the less. Well thats about it for now...rock on everyone

-Allyse

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Subject:	A broken heart comes crashing down...
Time:	4:48 pm.
Mood:	determined.
Music:	Minor Threat*Look back and Laugh.

Blah

Why do I let myself get so caught up in everything? Adam's right....Jared's right...I do lead guys on. Damnit. It's not that I try to. I just...I don't know what I want. But I do know that I don't wanna hurt Andrew. Why do I realize my feelings too late? I'm always making mistakes. WHATS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!? Why am I never happy with what i have...and when i am..why do i always fuck it up. Maybe cuz im too "complicated" Well maybe I am. But....damnit! *screams*
At least i have my friends. School is alright. Today we had a retreat...THE PRESSURE *puts fist in air* giggle It was quite amusing. Lauren and I told Christian that we "hooked up" and started telling him things and he got a boner! poor kid. In church no less. *grin* They played this cheezy 80s church keyboard music...*shudder*. "The Rebels" (i don't know where Meri and Ren were...) Katy, Bri, Emily, Kyle, Matt, Lauren, Nicole and I sang really loud and were quite obnoxious the whole time. Matt was dancing around and making weird arm motions to the words in a song...we were laughing so hard we ended up getting separated and Kyle got a detention for "attempting to go into the ladies room". I love those guys. *hugs the rebels*
Anyway...homecomming is this weekend. Should be interesting.
I really wish i could tell someone how i feel...but i keep choking on the words.

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Time:	12:14 am.
Mood:	angry.
Music:	Long way to fall.

I'm gunna fucking kill him...this sterotypical shit...i dont need it and bringing my friends into it....ohh hes got another thing commin
READ

BFtail22: you bitch!!!!! YOU DESERTED ME!!!!!
SeXyMiSfiT19: hey to you too
BFtail22: haha, you ditched me you selfish bitch
SeXyMiSfiT19: okay
SeXyMiSfiT19: how did i ditch you
SeXyMiSfiT19: when we didnt have any plans
BFtail22: I know...... but I wanted to
BFtail22: ........:-\
SeXyMiSfiT19: how can you expect me to wanna hang out with you when u call me a selfish bitch?
BFtail22: how can inot
SeXyMiSfiT19: ?
BFtail22: youre mad sexy, im soo irrasistable..... it works
SeXyMiSfiT19: uh huh
BFtail22: lol, j/k
BFtail22: ....... about you anyway
BFtail22: j/k
SeXyMiSfiT19: um, alright
BFtail22: ok, waht the hell is up withj you
SeXyMiSfiT19: nothin
SeXyMiSfiT19: lol why?
SeXyMiSfiT19: what did u do tonite?
BFtail22: cause like you were mad flirting with me in tech, now you dont even waanna fuck me
BFtail22: movies
SeXyMiSfiT19: sorry, i have a boyfriend
BFtail22: haha, ooooook
BFtail22: I was j/k anyway
SeXyMiSfiT19: if u liked me you have a really fucked way of showing it...so i guess u kinda missed ur chance...again
BFtail22: you def arent my type.... I dont fall for the type that leads people on
SeXyMiSfiT19: ooooh that was below the belt
SeXyMiSfiT19: well you would know about that, wouldn't ya?
SeXyMiSfiT19: leading people on
BFtail22: no, I wouldnt
BFtail22: name one person I have
SeXyMiSfiT19: um, me
BFtail22: when was this
BFtail22: when you were leading me on?\
SeXyMiSfiT19: huh?
SeXyMiSfiT19: ?
SeXyMiSfiT19: random...
BFtail22: seirous
SeXyMiSfiT19: wat are you talking about?
BFtail22: ?
SeXyMiSfiT19: capnhank22: he was just tellin me about how you were with himand now you like oh yea i have a b/f....... fuck you!
SeXyMiSfiT19: wtf is he talking about??
BFtail22: yea..... hes my friend and hes pissed at you..... its all goiod
SeXyMiSfiT19: umm yeah...why??
BFtail22: cause you were a bitch?
SeXyMiSfiT19: oh really
SeXyMiSfiT19: when was this?
SeXyMiSfiT19: oh! you mean after you called me a hooch?
SeXyMiSfiT19: scuz if it was supposed to be funny...notice how i DIDNT laugh
BFtail22: i was j/k...... you took tit soo fucking seriously....... it was fucking imauter the way you acted
SeXyMiSfiT19: I WAS IMMATURE??!!
SeXyMiSfiT19: know what? this is bullshit
BFtail22: no, you being sterotypical is bullshit
SeXyMiSfiT19: how am i being sterotypical?
BFtail22: cause youre like, "yea you lost your chance" then you wouldnt even give me a chance cause I aint no skater faggot
SeXyMiSfiT19: oh sorry i wouldnt give u a chance when all u seem to want is play and when i think ur finally trying to make an effort you end up trying to hook up and im like whoa back up and u say thats leading you on
SeXyMiSfiT19: capnhank22: yuou should fuck him
BFtail22: what the hell does that mean?
SeXyMiSfiT19: its like, umm no
BFtail22: haha, I agree
BFtail22: what is?
SeXyMiSfiT19: yeah thats just what i mean
SeXyMiSfiT19: all u want is fucking play
BFtail22: ok, ya know what........ go stick with your faggot skaters......forget what we dcoulda had. and dont fucking bother me again
SeXyMiSfiT19: well get with some preppy slut scuz im not that easy
BFtail22: happy shit now?
SeXyMiSfiT19: those 'faggot skaters' and 10090832947 times the man you could ever be
SeXyMiSfiT19: they at least PRETEND to be interested in ME before trying to get in my pants
BFtail22: hahaha, yea well, if being a "man" means having fucked up three coloired hair cuts, being gay, skating..... and doing drugs....... fuck it...... it aint worth it
SeXyMiSfiT19: thats so fucking stereotypical you dont even know
BFtail22: yea, w/e I dont give a shit...... call me what you like, you fucking played me liek a sucker..... so dont ever fucking do that shit again....... stick with those stool pushin faggots....... maybe they into that shit, I dont need it
SeXyMiSfiT19: oh sorry Mr. I love Beth and i dont know why but here lets makeout anyway
BFtail22: yea, fuck you.....
SeXyMiSfiT19: great comeback
SeXyMiSfiT19: u know im right
BFtail22: 2
BFtail22: the day you get a clue on what I feel about her...... then come bitching to me
BFtail22: but until then, doint open your fucking mouth about it
SeXyMiSfiT19: and until you get a clue on the guys i like dont fucking rag on all my friends just cuz all urs are braindead
BFtail22: haha, dont even try to fuck with my friends...... Ill get mine and well come down and beat the shit out of them faggots..... jus cause we dont lik em
SeXyMiSfiT19: FUCK YOU DONT YOU EVER TALK SHIT ABOUT ANY OF MY FUCKING FRIENDS
SeXyMiSfiT19: u and ur 'friends' are too busy fucking eachother up the asses to beat up my friends
BFtail22: haha, thats only sassy cassie and mcknight
BFtail22: but that besides the point
BFtail22: yea well, get your pussy ass skater faggots together and well fuck em up
BFtail22: but, I g2g babe, nice talking with ya.... luv ya
BFtail22: what you dont love me?
BFtail22: ??
BFtail22: that hurts
BFtail22: how can you be like that........after all weve been through?
BFtail22: ugh!
BFtail22: ya know........ one bad sexual episode and our friendship is down the shitter........ but w.e..... be like that
BFtail22: I dont need i

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Subject:	Tired...but happy
Time:	10:58 am.
Mood:	exhausted.
Music:	Bigwig-waste.

Well last nite was the show in Norfolk. Pretty spiffy you guys, kudos to you. Went with Lau and Mal. Had a massive fight with mother dearest about my outfit before i left so i just put my black tanktop on and threw on some random baggy tee-shirt. As soon as i got there the baggy shirt came off lol. I'm so bad. -=^-^=- Anyways there were a lot of cool people there who i havent seen in about a forever in a half like Amy, Eric Silva (funny shit haha) KellyB and her cute new boytoy Adrian, Steph L, LinZy, Jenna, Ryan & Ash...the list goes on. Oh yeah Adam was there I went up and said hi and he was all HEY and then we didnt talk the rest of the nite. But thats okay scuz Andrew was there ...he asked me out 2 days ago and i told him i would answer him at the show...so towards the end he had his arms around me and Ash was like, "are you going out yet?!" and he said that he asked me and i didnt answer. So I said "yeah, we are". and he kissed me. I dont know why he still liked me after last nite thou LoL-they told us we couldn't mosh scuz some of the guys started slamming really hard right at the beginning--but we still did a little and no one got thrown out which is good. Yeah so for about 3 hours i was just right up there and it was SO HOT i was all sweaty and gross (o-yeah thanks andrew for pointing that out) But thats okay it was fun. I hope Lau and Mal had fun...I saw them from time to time Lauren and Pat always together and Mal just chillin. It's not really there 'scene' or whatever but idk...there were def. enough hot guys around to compensate. Well my ears are still kinda ringing and my head hurts a little from someones elbow so i'm gunna go lay down before i go shopping.
love
*LySe

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Subject:	My weekend
Time:	8:24 pm.
Mood:	frustrated.

This weekend was alright. Can't compare to last weekend though *giggle* Well I told you about friday.
Saturday me, briana and chris went to the KP football game and made fun of people. but it was SOO hot so we left and dropped chris and bri off at bri's house and that was at 4ish. I got back to my casa and talked to michaela (she was at the game) and invited her over then andrew called so i was like hey lets have a party so he came over and then we were hangin outside and briana, chris and meridith show up. So we so in the hot tub and michaela let me wear her new bikini it was so cute it was a black tube top that tied in the back and sed BEBE in diamond sparkles and a black bottoms with this weird but kinda kinky black ropey thing lol. All the girls went in but chris and andrew were being little girls so we soaked them and they took our towels and clothes and ran across the street and threw everything in my neighbors yard and trees!!! Me n Bri hadda sprint down the hill over the gravel across the street in our bikinis it was quite a show plus it was FREEZING! Then finally chris came in. But noo andrew hadda concussion from the damn mosh at the concert :(
Totally fucked up my arm attempting a nose grind but i got rite back on and did it yay for allyse!
Sunday aya and briana came over and we washed aya's new car then we listened to music and i learned j-rock tidbits.

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Time:	12:57 pm.
Mood:	optimistic.
Music:	Rancid.

Well,
Allyse is quite proud of her bad self. I re-did my user info page yay! Home sick today. But so was Bri and Aya and Vince so of course i'm here online talking to them. I want to make a new icon but i just aren't that talented yet so if someone could help it would be greatly appreciated. Tomorrow is gunna suck i can already tell--we get out progress reports. So far i know i have a 54 in Bio...but that was before i handed in all my make-up work. I really am discusted with myself i know I am intellegent but I just refuse to try therefore I'm always just squeaking by.
But I see school as a huge waste of time. Basically we're using up more than half our lives in school working out asses off hoping that we can get some great job someday and live in a great house that we never get to enjoy because we still have to 'make a living'. Then we get old and retire and finally then we are too old to really do those crazy things we would have done as kids. Junior year I plan to take a road trip to Cali and hopefully never come back. I really hate this place. At least if I'm homeless there it'll be warm. San Jose maybe..i know some people who live there. And worse comes to worse I live with my aunt and uncle in Moorpark, just outside of L.A. I don't even care if i have to live in a box...as long as i have my guitar i am perfectly happy. Well, friends would be nice too...but i'll meet people out there. All I want to do Is live my life to the fullest and not hold back. I wanna travel the world and meet new kinds of people. I want to look back on my life and say i lived.

-Allyse

P.S. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome! the more the merrier!
Briana you have no choice you are going thats that. :)

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Subject:	whoa....
Time:	7:32 pm.
Mood:	flirty.
Music:	Juliana Theory.

Heya Journal, Its me again...Lauren finally left!! REJOICE!! J/k this weekend was like, the best weekend of my life! wink wink nudge nudge lol
Well now i'm starting to feel all confuddled because...idk...i really like Adam...hes wicked cool but i mean i've only met him once for like 5 minutes....but hes so sweet he wrote this in his journal:
"Tomorow will be better, the band is coming over and were recording. too bad allyse
cant come.....i miss her so much (i love u allyse)
Theresas prob comin to give us our shirts and take pics for the site...she rocks i love
her 2 (not the way i love allyse...just incase u didnt kno i <3 allyse)
o ya i almost forgot.....in an alkward moment...while ashley and i were skatin
tonight....she just all of a sudden goes "so why did you say no to me"
ugh i responded with the truth...i like allyse too much
n e who im done typin....im talkin to allyse!!! lata kids "

So I'm like total 'aw' mood with him
...but this weekend was really fun and going to funway with Andrew was really great too....and we're going to my homecomming together---everyone thinks we look awesome together...i dont disagree. I'm just going to ride this out and just see what happens. Cuz i really dont wanna lose these new friends i've made...but if i end up going out with one guy...then i dont want the other guys being all mad at me...but its okay im not THAt worried about it. :)

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