| 12:03am 23/11/2002 | |||
| ill have to talk about my day later...im sooooooooo tired..g night | |||
| 09:20pm 21/11/2002 | |||
|
meeeeee....pinkyeerrr |
|||
| 09:10pm 19/11/2002 | ||||
this song is cool. im enjoying it. im tired. im...weird..... i feel so weird lately. like i can see life from the perimeter or something. its like steping outside the box and looking in. it makes me feel so detatched. everything is somehow disconnected and unimportant. i wrote about it in my written journal the other night. ill type it later because i wont be able to say it right again. am i happy? no. im so up and downy. when i think about the weird life thing^ i cry, but then sometimes when im with case or with pat and steve, or hugging people i feel good. im just psycologically weird. i could drive myself to insanity so easily. im screwed up. hmmmmmkjkdfsjlsd |
||||
confused| 10:19pm 17/11/2002 | |||
 Which female sex symbol are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
|||
| 01:22pm 17/11/2002 | |||
|
Take the test, by Emily. |
|||
| 01:17pm 17/11/2002 | |||
| I WANNA GO SEE HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF FUCKIN SECRETS!!!! GO WITH ME!!!!! | |||
| 01:15pm 17/11/2002 | |||
|
wooo color weeee ahhhhh |
|||
| 01:13pm 17/11/2002 | ||||
nada update on weekend luego. toot. -sar |
||||
anxious| 08:35pm 13/11/2002 | ||||
im like overwhelmed lol. ha woot. today was alright. school was...School lol. i moved to dan jim and elyses lunch table today cause i could not find any devin, lol not like we ever talk anyway. block day lunches are so sad, except thrusdays cause pat and steve are there, and now wednesdays arent bad either cause i least i get someone to bother lol. i got to leave at 1230 cause of the hockey game. it wasssss sooooo cold. ahhg. man i really thought they were gonna win and then they went into overtime and the littel fuckers ont he other team scored. but they sucked anyway, they only had 1 good person. so poo. i got home at like 4 and then me and case met up at 5 20ish and went to Ralphs. we promised ourselves not to smoke until friday. yea that worked...not. we went to texaco and casey got ciggs while i twiddled away on the bridge. then we went to theover pass and smoked our beloved carcinogens. ha. i cleaned a piece of my floor. woooo! k update later, bye. |
||||
artistic| 10:29pm 12/11/2002 | |||
my result to my own quiz: What kind of Person are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
|||
| 10:09pm 12/11/2002 | |||
|
yoha. i baby sat today at 430-630 i fell asleep and so did the kid. haha. it was fine. -) ive been working on a qiuz. so far only 5 questions. Take It Here |
|||
| 09:56pm 11/11/2002 | |||
|
things like that make me not care about him at all anymore. he forgets that we know who he really is and says things to people to make himself sound cooler or like he has such a better more privileged life. court: " so i hear you guys are all hanging out november 30th?" him: " oh yea maybe, i'll probably be busy tho with footballl or friends or something" he's not cool. he tries too hard and he always has. he's such a little people pleaser. that was why casey hated him and cause he's a baby. he dresses like a prep so people will like him and then listens to cool music so that people might think he is cool too. he tries to pretend like he is so above us now. like the life behind him was such a joke and that hes too good for that. but he's not. and it makes me sad that he has been so reduced to that. i used to think there was something special in him. and maybe there was. but all those hopes and ideas seem backed by false evidence when i look at what he appears to have become. all the old people see it. they all notice the change in him. and maybe thats what he was meant to be all along. it is disappointing. if he ditches us because he has "better things to do" i will be hurt and it will confirm that he has become heartless. if he gives us a genuine excuse, i will probably think he's lying. hopefully he'll just be normal and cool and back to his old self for one day so we can at least pretend that he is still that person. i miss the friendship of that person, but i loathe what he is now only because i know he is so much more than that. eventually all good things must go to spoils |
|||
| 03:26pm 09/11/2002 | |||
| ahh yey!!!! im ordering a black jones hoodie!! HERE | |||
| 03:12pm 09/11/2002 | |||
|
ohhh yea i dyed my hair bluish black. in these pics it looks just black tho |
|||
| 12:13pm 06/11/2002 | |||
|
His face became the empty nothing, in which she thrived. The scattered memories, chewed over and relived, seemed to blossom into a brand new feeling of that which is lost and can never be found. The misplaced fragments of her soul danced along with the floating images replaying in her mind. This dream like state was starting to take control of her, slowly creeping up with cold hands to strangle the meaning from her once so cherished life. This was not living. This was not anything it was supposed to be. Misplaced and deserted, she could not abandon that feeling of abandonment. How could a starry universe, once nurturing her existence and feeding her happiness, shrivel into to such an un-nameable realm of barren melodies? She had truly believed in all of it, every last word ringing through her, diffusing the truth into her blood. Of course there were the times of genuine contentment to at least be grateful for, but their heavy absence dragged her down. No flailing arms could save that drowning part of who she thought she was. She felt certain, in a way, that at least the foundered segments of her would match the broken pieces of his soul. But she was wrong. Right through his eyes, and into the back of his head, her vision bounced back. There was nothing inside his mind to absorb her sorrow. He looked back at her, but it was a vacant stare, and the unfilled space was deplorable. Hadn’t he once lived in that same glorious era? It was now nothing but an elapsed idea. Either he had lied those countless days ago when he had smiled, or he was lying now when there was not one particle of remorse within him. It would never be over, perhaps in theory, but not emotionally. There were too many mutual feelings and too many beautiful hours for a final conclusion. She would hold on to that thought, it was the only hope, and the only thing that could ease her mind. She was not restless, but slightly unsettled. She would wait for this mood to leave her, and then she would be done with it. Momentarily at rest with the jagged edges of last winter’s beginning, and the razor sharp introduction to a new winter, looming ahead. Unlike the broken emptiness, Dari had been there for her all along. The course of three years had come and past through their lives, and both were still at peace with each other. There was one spirit living in both of their bodies. If not the same soul, then perfect pieces that fit together like a jig-saw puzzle. Their minds seemed to flip through the same thoughts at a parallel level, and the words that poured from their mouths were often based upon a shared idea. Mostly unscathed by conflict, their memories were sprinkled with but a few meaningless arguments, as there would be with anyone wrestling with their own conscience. This was the state of their friendship. Faia looked around her disheveled room. Pictures on the wall sustained mere seconds in time that had passed and could never be revisited. Dari had once mentioned the odd irony and possibility of photographs from the future. The thought had planted a sinking strangeness in Faia’s brain, and she could not grasp the idea’s abstract qualities. At one point in time she had sat in her room, perhaps years ago, and all those still images of captured moments had never even taken place. Had she looked at her walls, even only one year ago, some of the now so familiar faces would have seemed strange and foreign to her, and the events marked in them, unknown. These were the only important things to them: people, feelings, and the overlapping of the two. everything else seemed to fall into one of those categories, so there was no need to expand further. Music was feeling at its best, a creative outpour of emotion created by people. Happiness was the feeling of being with amazing people, and love was a feeling of being cared for. And so that was what it all boiled down to. Anything could be fun as long as the right people were there, with the right conversations about the right feelings. School was not important, the ideas of their parents were not important, the ideas of the rest of the world were not important. They had their own ideals, own morals, and own twisted theories about religion. The rest of the world had nothing in common with the sprouting philosophies in their heads. This made people uncomfortable, it made them weird, and it separated them from an entire world of humans who were more like robots than anything else. Faia and Dari had captured their own meaning of life and filed it in two places. This was all they would need. And so that summer died away and shifted into a brilliant crimson fall, and, naturally, after autumn’s end began the dreary blue freezing of winter. It was a season they loathed. Not so much only because of the bitter weather, but very much so because of the deranged feelings it seemed to carry along with it. Winter’s arrival meant the beginning of a new downfall. Every year they seemed less prepared for it, and it caught up with them more quickly. Dari was wearing her heavy plaid winter pea coat. Her black gloves masked her hands but not her fingers, as she had cut off all the glove tips to aid the functioning of her lighter. A cigarette rested between her first and second finger on her right hand. She flicked the ash and they watched it fall all around them like the quickly dispersing memories of last fall. There was an awkward moment of silence while Faia and Dari sat on the log indulging in their cheap coffees and unhealthy cigarettes. A long conversation had just passed over them, and this was the aftermath. A familiar figure broke the spell of nothing. It was Marius. His shredded mane of midnight hued hair hung about his face in tatters. It was messy of course, and meant to be that way, but not prepared to appear so. As he got closer, a small smile curled across Dari’s lips. She gave Faia a knowing look, but words were unneeded. Now he was right next to them. He laughed, “ No surprise finding you here.” They both smiled as Dari replied, “ Shutup!” He sat down. His eyes filled with an unreadable message. This described him all too well. Unreadable. There was a truly amazing mind inside that soul, but as much as he talked and shared his thoughts, so much of him was. |
|||
| 11:41pm 31/10/2002 | |||
|
i dont really write real entries anymore... i should tho. today was halloween. it was happy- me and case were jay and silent bob fairies. does that rock or what? but hey, i felt so ugly in my man costume. i had a beard and thick eyebrows. by the end of the night i wanted to be a girl again so badly. i felt beautiful when i took off the ugly man makeup. seriously. im so glad im not a gross boy. today was fine. as if u havent already heard this a bajillion times- i really like billy. the coffee house was last night, it was alright..not as amazing as last years, but i think the one in the spring will be better. ooooooooh i wish i wasnt tired. id update more ont he past few days..it wil have to be later tho. love ya byeybe |
|||
| 12:39pm 30/10/2002 | ||||
it is raining outside. JOIN MY COMMUNITY! in a way i hope the game is cancelled, but also i dont because i want hockey to have a nice finished ending lol. and we gotta give our coach the card and love letter ahha. im tired. i REALLY dont want to go to chemistry next. i severly hate that class, you don't even know. i need to get a job. i do. me and case gotta start lookin. erg. well bye. |
||||
bored| 12:39pm 30/10/2002 | ||||
it is raining outside. JOIN MY COMMUNITY! in a way i hope the game is cancelled, but also i dont because i want hockey to have a nice finished ending lol. and we gotta give our coach the card and love letter ahha. im tired. i REALLY dont want to go to chemistry next. i severly hate that class, you don't even know. i need to get a job. i do. me and case gotta start lookin. erg. well bye. |
||||
| 10:55pm 29/10/2002 | |||
|
i just made a new community. its called Radioheads! wee. so far i am the only member...it still needs some work, but to anyone in here who likes Radiohead, JOIN! :-) tomorrow is the last day of hockey. and the coffee house thing. wee. |
|||
| 10:23pm 28/10/2002 | |||
|
haha. i made a new icon! wee!! dont ya just love it? im tired. im gonna go eat some cake. then take a shower and sleep. meep. |
|||
|
sarah32314 |
||
|
Friends Info Calendar Happiness Is.. |
||
| skip | ||
| Backward | ||