| gotta get in the column. |
[28 Aug 2002|10:31pm] |
whoa whoa whoa!
someone needs to tell Mr. Emerson that he CANNOT do Chicago next year.
sorry, big E. no way, no how.
especially if he's thinking about casting Kevin OReilly as Billy Flynn.
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| i wanna know so i can move, too! |
[28 Aug 2002|02:33am] |
let me just express to you all right now that i am terribly lonely because almost every single person i know is in school right now and i'm sitting up at 2:35 sipping Shasta Twist.
in other words, i'm home for four days.
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| you'll let me know. |
[25 Aug 2002|01:47pm] |
I'M STILL IN ARKANSAS. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
they charge for local calls here, so i've probably rung up a bill in the double-digits for all of my internet usage down here. but, honestly, there is not much to do.
last night i had the most terrifying sequence of dreams in my life where i was searching through the house for money and everytime it would end with me putting the money in this drawer and going back to sleep. but then i would wake up, go to the drawer, and no money would be there. life is such a tease. i kept wanting to kill someone.
it doesnt look like we'll be getting out of here tonight, but i guess that's okay for now. as long as i get back by Tuesday, because i really cant afford to lose another day before... THE MOVE. [dramatic music].
i seem to somehow have stopped reading and writing in the past few days, either from a) pure laziness, b) a recent succumbing to cable televisions, or c) some strange form of grief yet known to man. but i plan to pick it back up as soon as we're on the road again. today i spent a nice solid four hours going through my mother's old belongings, for the most part still in place in her old room in my grandfather's house. i raided her classics, a couple of things she picked up on philosophy. the longer i stay down here, the more i notice a correlation between my mother's adolescence and mind.
fucking history repeating itself, and all that.
so my uncle. my CRAZY uncle.
i am so sick of him. simply because if i never hear another one of his speeches on becoming a man and the TREMENDOUS responsibility that comes along with it, it'll be too soon.
here is my favorite of his dumbass quotes:
"You aren't as close to me as you should be."
how about me eating your face, you bastard? as i should be? i hate you! you're lucky i still let you breathe.
i'm also completely peeved out now with my CRAZY second-cousin-who-calls-herself-my-aunt-because-she's-obsessed-with-being-my-mom's-sisters. ugh. she has this strange need to feel important in any situation, thus deems herself traffic cop of everyone if there's something remotely critical going on. this of course entails telling me to leave the room when "adults are speaking."
WHAT?
hi, half of this adulting-talking requires my presence seeing as how my name is on half of the property here, jerk-face. so how about you continue being a constantly-complaining nobody with no good grasp of english and hateful children?
thanks.
regardless, i'll be extremely glad when i can stop sharing a roof and car with her, jesus christ.
in other--and much more exciting--news, i think i've found my top-five show choices. but i want to run the list by Denise (who i currently can not slam anymore for her unfortunate association with Hell for fear of  uberkak's personal threats) to see what SHE thinks before i get crazy with being-ahead-of-schedule glee... even though there is no schedule.
really it's pretty much cutting a lot of my preliminaries. oy. but yay for exciting spins on old shows!
ugh, speaking of old shows... the 'Princeton University Players' (the musical theatre group even sounds pretentious. eek.) just announced this year's seasons. anyone want to guess what the first two shows are?
of course you don't:
WEST SIDE STORY and PIPPIN!
kill me now.
my toes are cold.
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| i've got friends like carol king--or was it carly simon used to sing? i always get those 2 confused. |
[23 Aug 2002|12:22am] |
UPDATES FROM ARKANSAS:
+ I got my new PowerBook for school.
+ I'm going to be Director for WST next year. Yay. (Which means I'm FORCED to associate with that Yale-scum Denise. I have no idea how SHE got Producer...) In short, I'm FREAKING OUT. I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day to do all the things I need to do before I leave. I've made about three million lists in the past three days composed of things I need to do for college and for WST within the next year.
Oy.
+ My Pa-Paw passed on Tuesday at 6:05pm after the weirdest day in the world, which I will explain later. Among the highlights will be this dead moth sitting on the grass in the bank didn't move and had this eye things on its wings. We didnt realize it was dead until like three trips later.
Regardless, the funeral is going to be on Saturday, which pushes my homecoming date back to Monday of next week. Meaning I'll have a week to get ready before I'm off to Princeton to FREAK OUT EVEN FURTHER.
But my family is handling this all really well. No one's going crazy yet, but of course we are pretty much in the eye of the storm right now (right between the actual death and the funeral). I'm amazed at my mother who is handling everything so graceful. I'm so glad I'm her son and not my crazy, small-minded, greedy uncle's... you know, that one crazy uncle you have in the family who tries to loot someone's house before they're even in the ground. Ugh. I mean, come on. We're not an unintelligent family here. WE CAN SEE YOU.
Ahem, enough airing dirty laundry.
I've gotten a ton of reading done. I finished The Old Man and the Sea and The Sound and the Fury within the span of two days. Then I read that required reading thing for the CA program.
I've also been writing.
But, of course, I've finished nothing.
Nothing new.
+ Thanks everyone for their condolences and random e-mails and everything. I have an amazing group of acquaintances and friends. I miss everyone, a lot! I'm not crazy!
Yet.
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| iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan of constant sorrooooooooooow.... |
[15 Aug 2002|12:42pm] |
quick update:
+ finally got my Driver's License after driving illegally for damn near 6 months.
+ going to Illinois and Arkansas for about a week. bye.
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| tickets! |
[06 Aug 2002|05:54pm] |
um, so i have two extra tickets to Nathan's show tonight at 8 if anyone's interested.
i have, like, GOT TO GET RID OF THESE TICKETS.
call me ASAP 202/2918387 if you want to go or, um, leave me a message (aim: CrimsonRat), while I shower, of course.
ugh.
support the director! or something.
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[06 Aug 2002|03:26pm] |
okay, i have a lot to say on this whole Danny-WST-LJ thing (good and bad).
but we have two shows left.
so maybe afterwards.
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| get nasty! |
[28 Jul 2002|09:40pm] |
things to be said about last night:
1. the second night of West Side Story was AMAZING. everyone should go see it if they can do what they did last night again. even better than opening night, which i personally thought sucked--but you know me, the pessimist.
2. Courtney, stop reading my livejournal.
3. accidents are the coolest thing to get into--especially when they aren't your fault, and even more when you have a tight-ass spidey sense, as i do, which allows you to predict the accidents before they happen. i left my trophy (a piece of the woman who hit us's bumper) in kate's house by accidents. oy, life is funny that way.
4. i ask that everyone please excuse mary's and my on-going game of uh... Clue... and the repitition of the name "Julie Newmar" and "Turtle, turtle, turtle..." throughout the night. for these are the types of random things our friendships is solidly grounded on.
5. much thanks to Kate, Harrison, Jessica, Brian, Josh, Carolyn, Anh, and Kelly for their generosity in various respects.
6. no, Kate and I did not hook up, you assholes.
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| i'm from n.e.r.d. aren't you britney? |
[27 Jul 2002|02:59pm] |
reasons 6-10 as to why Benita hates her roommate according to Benita:
"6. She wants to share my refrigerator.
"7. She sounds exactly like Merraf Abel.
"8. She does not read. She likes poetry, I ask her who and she said Emily Dickinson. Im like you read her shit in a class. Shut up.
"9. She sports MicroBraids.
"10. She has a tattoo on her inner thigh of a ladder and a man coming down it smiling."
i just started speaking to one of my roommate who, as it turns out, also knows Mack Elder. like, whoa.
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| the way you move so fast across the flo' |
[04 Jul 2002|09:44pm] |
it's like everywhere i go, i'm seeing something about Lil' Bow Wow. Bow Wow at the movies. Bow Wow on TV. Bow Wow on the radio. Bow Wow on my mind like all the time, to the point that I just want to take him home.
(the later is a quote from a song for those questioning my civility.)
right now, my fingertips smell like sulfur and gunpowder, as i have been setting off fireworks non-stop for the last one and a half hours of my existence. i wrote Benita an e-mail, another e-mail, because she's currently stuck in Florida having a family vacation.
she sent me a photo from one of those weird IBM photobooths they have all over Epcot. spew.
did i mention that today is also my SISTER'S BIRTHDAY. completely forgot up until yesterday, when i was like, "wait, my sister's birthday is in july! wait, my sister's birthday is july 4! wait, my sister's birthday is tomorrow!!"
literally just like that.
so, of course, today was spent lying in bed either sleeping or reading, extensively. i got through like three stories in Barthelme's Sixty Stories, and so my brain is kind of numb. i never before had any idea that he made so little sense when you merely just wanted to read for leisure. i kept thinking that it was like deciphering some code, and then i thought to myself, maybe Barthelme was a government agent posing as a writer so that he could get secret codes across the bajillion other secret agents living in his world in the form of short fiction published in national periodicals with circulations over 500,000!
i mean, this could kind of explain why he died so soon.
and why none of his stuff makes much sense!
and why every other story is about the President.
---
also realized today that my uncle is a pimp, as much as i despise him. but the Jacobs-Jenkins family rule was always, "If you're going to suck, suck big." (wait... maybe its in need of revision...)
because he definetly walked up to one of those fireworks stand, did super-serious flirting with the girl behind the counter and got us, um, a ton of shit (like $75 worth of stuff) for only twenty dollars.
then he gave me money for just being there.
i really wish i could do that. i, of course, am like the village idiot when it comes to flirtation. someone should give me pointers. not that i'm thinking about applying the rules to anyone right now... just, you know... hypo... thetic... ally...
---
okay! new topic!
yeah... that Donald Barthelme...
what a guy.
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[01 Jul 2002|03:33pm] |
fuck!
i got all five packets of my ARTSearch material in the mail today.
kill me.
---
Vanilla Coke is AMAZING. i'm not quite understanding why all of this randomly atrocious people are speaking blasphemously against it. don't you know that it is the wave of the future? it's like... the new water. only, with reverse effects.
---
i'm seriously considering making an anthology of staged monologues composed entirely of every single overly-melodramatic livejournal post i have ever read in my life.
my favorite ones are when they vent about how much they hate such and such and, low and behold, the person is listed as a Friend Of.
or the ones filled with what people "really think" of their situations/roles/positions/social lives/whatever, whereas they walk around during the day, being overly annoying, perusual, and smile as if they absolutely love, love, LOVE whatever they're stuck in.
or the ones where they confide their deepest darkest most kept secrets... to their entire school.
hi, i read your livejournal, genius.
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| the city should give me its key. |
[01 Jul 2002|12:55pm] |
for the past, um, forever, i have intentionally bored myself every single day that i have woken up in order to pressure myself into writing something. something, anything. i don't care.
but somehow, my success only lies in thinking up ideas and unsuccessfully tranferring them to my Microsoft Word window.
it is like a curse.
i have already bought four Moleskine(tm) notebooks out of sheer idleness in hopes that maybe by using the same brand of notebook Hemingway used i will be able to make use of random summer afternoons.
i wake up every day at noon.
next week, however, i won't be so lucky, as i'll actually have a job to jump up and do work for. no clue where i'm working yet, so don't ask me. i just know i'm getting paid below minimum wage. because the DC government hates everyone.
---
my mother is a kleptomaniac.
well, at least with regards to my money.
there are several things on my list of things to buy before college next year, and here are just a few: um, eyeglasses. shoes. a cell phone. good health via and PHYSICIAN.
and, of course, these things cost money.
money which should be readily available to me.
money which i went through meticulously artistic processes to have come into my fortune.
money which my mother is CONSTANTLY TAKING WITHOUT MY NOTIFICATION.
she currently owes me $525.
i currently have to my name $35.
she calls it borrowing.
---
tonight is the date auction thing for WST that i really don't want to participate in. i think this sprouts from my deep, deep, deep fear of being purchased for some ridiculously low amount. and i think this deep, deep, deep fear sprouts from the time when i went to a date auction, and someone bought my dad for a ridiculously low amount... and killed him.
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| cause a party ain't a party if it ain't nauuuughty. |
[19 Jun 2002|02:02pm] |
yesternight i realized actually how interesting everyone is, like LJ-wise, which i guess means their interesting lives.
i feel like i'm reading novels every time i look at my Friends page, and thus remind myself how utterly boring my last three weeks of existence have been.
someone stop this tomfoolery!
the day before yesterday i tried writing and i got pretty far. a short story. but it's still sitting in the notebook i carry around with me EVERYWHERE waiting to be finished. and yet, i cannot finish it. because i have these awful inhibitions about myself and me ruining any brilliant idea i come up with by writing it down.
dude, i'm determined to get SOMETHING out of this ARTSearch thing this year.
this morning, i also woke up thinking, "I want to take photography classes!" this, of course, was after having these really elusive and complex dream about playing soccer on a field outside of an arts school with random people from WST and SJC. then, of course, out of the blue, ms. h-c walks into the playing area and kicks all of our asses.
or something?
and somehow this all translated into my reality as me wanting to take photography classes.
i don't want to buy a camera, though. too expensive.
in other boring literary news, i have lost my illegal copy of Sula, which i kind of want to read. i went through all the trouble of actually heisting it from my library and now it's lost somewhere in this rat's nest of a home.
outside my window this gigantic truck is trying to unload this gigantic trough-like thing onto my small, small, small, small street. it's kind of funny because the guy keeps jumping in and out of cab, trying to make sure he doesn't hit any of the cars that take up 70% of the space on my small, small, small, small street.
wait, that isn't funny at all!
oh, yes. and i think i have a job now! the passport-to-work people just contacted me by mail, saying i have to be as some orientation in 1 hour. which is both exciting and inconvenient.
of course, i do not know what my job is yet. my work placement preferences were listed (in order of desire)as the following: actor (why did i do this?), editorial assistant, and museum aid.
well. i guess i won't be selling knives.
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| chekin your reflection and tellin your best friend |
[07 Jun 2002|11:43am] |
um, so i woke up this morning at 11am and realized that i'm graduating today.
well, this and the fact that i was supposed to be up at 9am so that i could hurry downtown and get a replacement permit. but, eh. what can you do? i mean, i TRY not to break the law...
and not only that, oh no, i'm giving the motherfucking valedictory speech today. you know, the one i haven't practiced? the one i haven't read since the first time they made me read it?
oh yes, and of course, i'm singing that solo with the choir.
jumping jesus in pajamas.
you know how sometimes you just have that clammy feeling that something is going to go wrong.
like, seriously, something horrendous?
plus, i think i left my honor cords in Brendan's trunk. christ.
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| it. has. been. five. days. |
[21 May 2002|08:54am] |
so, i mean, technically this is the fourth to the last day of my high school career and i'm sitting in the college counseling center, as i always have, doing last minute work. for AP English Doc Nighan wanted us to print out parts of our thesis papers that had ridiculous amounts of punctuation errors so that we may go over them in class and, well, i only had one page wih a punctuation error on it. so i printed that out.
i also just printed out a bunch of WST audition flyers and posted them around school.
look, i'm doing my job! um, so when is that audition debriefing meeting, again? Wednesday? or Friday?
and i don't care what Brendan McElroy says, the Yearbook this year SUCKS.
let us not list the plethora of ways in which my own school mispelled my name:
For Branden:
Brendan
Brenden
Brandon
Brendon
Brandan
For Jacobs-Jenkins:
Jacob-Jenkins
Jakob-Jenkins
Jakub-Jenkins
Jakobs-Jenkins
Jakubs-Jenkins
at least, they were consistent with the Jenkins part. it's like my life is a joke, or something.
but i'm in the yearbook like four times, but mostly for activity stuff. i was voted Most Talented, but the picture is of my laughing or something, so i feel cheated. there is, alas, no Theatre section, so, of course, all of Theatre is in an uproar. thus, Mr. Emerson suddenly decided he would make his own insert, which is not going to happen. trust me.
i've been reading The Baron in the Trees and i'm started to have dreams about eighteenth century Italy. but i enjoy being able to translate half of the French i come across.
wait, do i have an oral exam today in French?!
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| you. drive. me. wild. |
[11 May 2002|10:10pm] |
prom was last night. not going to talk too much about it other than it going pretty good. i didnt expect much and lord knows i wasn't impressed, but i had fun. miranda was a great date. most of my friends didnt act like assholes blah blah blah.
the project excellence dinner was, however, the most boring thing in the history of the world. the sketchiest part was how they called the award recipients up in groups of "similar college interests" which means me and like three girls got lumped in the 'creative and expressive arts' category, following by a quabillion future biology majors.
i wanted to die.
i also wasn't asked to give a speech, so on some level, i think i'm insulted, but not enough to care, because i enjoyed being able to leave as soon as Miranda and I had finished the main course.
oh yeah! so you know that Baraka kid? the kid who everyone says i remind them of? yeah, him. he was there, too. he got his full ride to Oberlin through them. so yeah.
and i got to meet his date. and guess who she was? um, the almost-Curly Sue! one of the final three girls who were to be cast as Curly Sue in the movie Curly Sue. and yeah, that was exciting. she's going to Tisch, and she was in the national tour of Annie when she was 8.
how interesting.
the best part is the almost-Curly Sue part.
and she looked exactly the way an actress should, it was so weird. kind of like Kylie Minogue, but without the ugly.
in other news, the ring i wore last night turned the base of my left ring finger green. its kind of scary.
also, at post prom, i won a bag of towels and sheets--definetly not the digital camera or refrigerator i had hoped for, but it was something.
then everyone wanted to take one of those damn free picture-keychain things with me, so i drove home with like 500 keychains in my pocket. it looked super suspicious and i was super tired so in all my being delirious i drove really slow so as to not get pulled over and have them frisk me and find the huge janging bulge of bad digital photos.
don't ask.
and merraf, emillio, and i almost went to like different parties, but turned around once someone would call and complain about how much it was sucking.
oh yeah, and we had IHOP, as if no one could see that coming.
then, when we saw the sun rising over the College Park horizon, we hurried home so as not to turn into dust or stone or something. i dont know, something about the sun rising is really discomforting.
other than that and me sleeping until 3pm, today has been pretty boring.
saw The New Guy, accidentally on-purpose as apart of Family Day. i sweat Parry Shen, but the movie sucked.
also got a letter in the mail today saying that The Apprentice Writer is publishing two of my pieces in July, which i guess is something.
but, alas, they are not the New Yorker.
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| but that's okay, cause i'm still fly. |
[08 May 2002|07:36pm] |
so, prom is the day after tomorrow and i don't have a limo. should i be worried?
and i am sick. so so so sick. and it's not even like a good sick, because it's annoying. like i dont have headaches (too often), or nausea or anything. but i have probably lost like my body weight in mucous over the past week, and it's just getting obnoxious. my node id stooooo duffed up, and the nights are ever worse. today i missed my mid-whatever nap, too. so i'm cranky. and tired.
but, of course, i have french homework to finish--or pretend to finish at least.
you know, tomorrow will be my first and only day of school this entire week. this includes two AP tests, Federal Inspection of the ROTC kids, and then Friday is prom. do you know how much late work i need to make up? how much crap i need to learn before the AP Bio test on Tuesday? this pretty much means i will not be skipping on Monday, as hip and cool as the event planned by the slackjawed skipper-kids sound.
wow. i am so uncool.
today i sat down and tried to figure out which classes i wanted to take next year. but, to my expected dismay, every class i want to take it being held at the exact same time on the exact same days. except for French, though. which is, um, every single day.
what am i going to do with my days this summer? i want a job, and i've begun applying, but, um, i kind of also want to sleep in whenever i want to.
am i too ambitious?
today i also realized that i don't want to read Don Quixote just yet, but I do want to read Cervantes' other thing--you know... that thing! The Novelas Exempar, or something? i dont know. do i look like i speak spanish, yet?
but, i do want to read The Decameron, even though it looks boring because it's a Penguin Classic translated from Italian. but i also want to read Lolita, and The Dubliners, and everything by Italo Calvino.
i repeat, i am so uncool.
today, my brother didn't come directly home from school and it freaked my entire family out. we were all kind of afraid he had been kidnapped or had run away or something. i guess those are the kinds of things you think of after you've told him countless times that he is the reason why the family sucks.
go figure.
last night, i also had an eerie dream about my dead grandmother, in which she told me that the after-life wasn't as spacious as everyone thinks it is.
or something.
in other news, congratulations to Lauren's ovaries. you guys have done it again.
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| i could hold your hip. |
[01 May 2002|12:11pm] |
update:
+ computer still broken.
+ college counseling center was not, i repeat, not bulldozed because of me, yet.
+ i am still going to Princeton, where i will become an avid alcoholic against my will.
+ by some freak accident, i got named valedictorian.
+ i have 20 days to write 3 plays or else pay the $4,000 in scholarship money back to my school.
+ straight C's for the fourth quarter, booyah. (with F-potential in AP Bio because i haven't turned in a single lab.)
+ but i'm a national finalist for the Scholastic awards, kind of. so there's that.
---
i hate short-period Wednesdays, especially when i technically get out at 12:40, but have to stay until 2 for a teacher conference.
---
um, is "Satan Is My Motor" an actual song?
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| i'm the guy in the dream that you had last night. |
[17 Apr 2002|06:42pm] |
CrimsonRat: oh. um, of course. i keep trying to read this book about christianity.
Kate is a Storm: why?
Kate is a Storm: is it the bible?
CrimsonRat: no. it's mere christianity by c.s. lewis. and because i'm scared that the end of the world is near, so i want to know what to do so as to secure my, you know, not dying.
Kate is a Storm: well. why is the end of the world near?
CrimsonRat: because, um, nostradamus's prophecies are being fulfilled or something? i don't know. like the anti-christ has risen out of the east. and the weather is being super-sucky. and the pope has called all the american crdinal people to rome. and B2K's hot debut single "Uh Huh" is blazing up the charts.
Kate is a Storm: dear god you're right!
CrimsonRat: yeah.
Kate is a Storm: well. i'm jewish. i'm safe.
CrimsonRat: sigh. this sucks.
CrimsonRat: and i just got into princeton! ugh.
CrimsonRat: should i convert to judaism?
Kate is a Storm: definitely. go for the bar mitzvah... it'll get you about a thousand bones quickly
Kate is a Storm: so where be you going next year?
CrimsonRat: princeton.
CrimsonRat: because i want to be snooty and stuff.
CrimsonRat: plus i want to take toni morrison and joyce carol oates classes in fiction writing.
Kate is a Storm: sounds good to me
Kate is a Storm: i can't go to new jersey. i get angry at the bad drivers and air pollution too easily
CrimsonRat: yeah. but just my luck the armageddon will already be set in motion by the time i sit down for a workshop.
CrimsonRat: haha. luckily princeton is in bumfuck new jersey.
Kate is a Storm: wouldn't that suck. joyce carol oates walks in to the lecture hall and a meteroid hits the earth.
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| el-phants. el-phants. |
[11 Apr 2002|08:57am] |
so im sitting in the college counseling center, using these lovely yet disgusting iMacs because, well, Assface II (the compooter) is broken.
we open tonite. AGH.
A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM
April 11, 12, 13. 8:00 pm curtain.
Directions and shit? Go here.
ahem.
so, now that i have absolutely no confidence in this show anymore, i would like to warn anyone coming tonight of the following things:
a. my frightening blue costume. (fun fact: i'm wearing David Alan Grier's pants!)
b. the terrible quality of sound, as four of us (including me) are all wearing brand new body mics and tend to dislodge themselves from the elastic of my underwear and travel down the leg of my tights. also, our auditorium has the yuckiest echo, ever. but, assuming we sell out, which is pretty much the forecast right now, people's bodies should suck up the echoes quite nicely. we hope.
c. most of the cast, including myself, is barefoot.
d. ms. hernandez-cata, please ignore the following: the orchestra--complete with the kids who don't want to be there and the thugs who feel the need to bang out rap tunes on the drum set every free chance they get--is kind of behind--tempo-wise--on Pretty Little Picture and the Finale Ultimo. please ignore that and pretend that we're moving in slow motion.
e. my voice hurts.
f. i have not read Heart of Darkness yet. so, if i miss a cue, i'm reading Conrad's magnum opus backstage.
next period is C period english. this morning, in AP Bio, the class was talking about Plant and Animal Evolution. i am wearing zebra socks. at one point, i turn around to Caitlin, and go, "zeebwah. zeebwah." and then she replies, "el-phant. el-phant."
and that was how we got Matt Veid in trouble for sleeping in class.
god bless Mr. Landolfi, the former child-prodigy.
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