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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Sheena's LiveJournal:
| Friday, November 15th, 2002 | |
| 9:56 am | Lose yourself. Well I guess Tabi and I are going to 8 Mile again tonight =) Her umm friend? Matt is going to join us. There really isn't anything else out that I was to see. But I really want to see 8 Mile again. It was that good of a movie =) Anyway, not much is new with me. I went to a Spokane area debt consolidation place. They can't help me because I am not making enough money. I would have more money going out than coming in. So in the meantime I am looking for a full time job so I can make enough money to get out of this house and pay my shit off. Its so hard to feel like that is ever going to happen. I really want to go back to school, but I feel like that is never going to happen either. I am going to be stuck as a minimum wage fuck up. Its frustrating because I know what I want to go to school for now and I can't go because I am a dumb ass. I really need to quit being so hard on myself, but I am so pissed at myself for fucking everything up. I could give a billion excuses as to why a lot of this shit has happened, but excuses are like assholes....everyone has one. I am sick of giving excuses. Well I had to quit the one really good job I have ever had, because I was having a bad day and didn't have a ride to work. I fucked up my financial aid because I was having a bad month. I am $5,000 plus in debt because I didn't find a job, when I did find a job, job corp called me and then I decided I didn't want that either. I know what I want, but I can't have it, because of my fuck up. Which I guess you live and learn. Its just shitty. Trying to find full time work with only a high school diploma and being 20 years old in this town is like trying to find a needle in a FUCKING haystack. Are economy is such a piece of shit that the people who are old enough to be my parents are holding the jobs that are really for someone like me, because there is nothing else. In other news, I got called into work today and tomorrow. Ten more hours. Wahoo. I shouldn't bitch because its money. I like working there and everything, but its really not what I am use to. I miss working at Tidyman's. I miss working in a grocery store as fucked up as that sounds. I really want is a full time job where I am working 40 hours a week. Is that so much to ask? I guess its kind of an American dream right now in this country. Or at least in Spokane,WA. Enough of this. |
| Wednesday, November 13th, 2002 | |
| 12:04 am | Hmmm. Does anyone know how I can see how many entries I have made and how many comments I have made. I've seen everyone else have it on their journal, but I don't know how to do it. And I am not about to go count it all out! |
| Tuesday, November 12th, 2002 | |
| 11:57 pm | Insight. Well I was talking to my friend pojo tonight....he asked how things were going. He knows Eric is deployed and he checks up on me from time to time to see how things are. I said I'm doing damn skippy. He doesn't understand how I can be so good about this whole deployment thing. I found my own insight while I was explaining to him. I am good with it, because I chose it. I mean if I didn't want to have to deal with the bullshit of being with someone in the military, then obviously I wouldn't choose it. If I didn't think he was worth being away from for 6 months, or when he has to do his little 1 month deploys to prepare for the 6 months....I obviously wouldn't be with him would I? Not to mention if I weren't happy...wouldn't I be out cheating on him or trying to find another boy? Which I haven't. Not to sound sickeningly lovey dovey gross or anything. The time I have spent with him does make up for all the time we spend apart. Not to mention that to remain faithful to him for the 6 months we are apart truely shows how much I love him. After six months of being apart and still feeling the same about him as I did the day he left is a pretty big sign. Which is kind of why I am really not that afraid to move in with him. Granted I am still uncertain about it. We haven't been together long and I really don't want to rush things. But I am sure we will be just fine =) Anyway...enough of me. |
| 9:53 am | Hello strangers. Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't felt like saying anything. I've been super, hella tired. Yesturday was my 7th day of work in a row. I worked from 3-8, but they asked me to stay till 9. I really didn't want to because I haven't been sleeping well, but I did it anyway cause I need the extra $6.90 it gave me. Not only that it looks good when I go get a raise and when they decide if they want to hire me part time instead of just seasonal. I'm just kind of sick of people right now. They piss me off with....I want to use my coupon in this because its the most expensive. Well stupid read the coupon and you'll realize that it takes 50% off the HIGHEST PRICED, NON SALE ITEM! Lame asses. Then there are people who are just assholes and you can tell have NEVER worked retail in their lives. Then there are the people who you can tell have never worked a day in their life period! The ones who marry rich men and just spend all their money. Which makes me hate them even more because they aren't in love with the guy they are in love with the money they get to go blow on stupid shit. You know these are the ones that are probably cheating on their husbands while their husbands are the most faithful men you'll ever meet and are madly in love with the girl, but is to stupid to realize that she is just using him. What I am really sick of is living in this house. I can't watch tv at night because my mom has to sleep with her stupid bedroom door open. Anyway, I don't want to be here today and wanna hang with someone so maybe I'll call Karen and see if she'd like some company. Anyway check y'all later. Current Mood:  crankyCurrent Music: Lose Yourself-Eminem |
| Sunday, November 10th, 2002 | |
| 10:05 pm | What the fuck. I can't even watch tv at 10 o'clocl at night in this shit hole fucking hell!!! |
| 8:58 am | 8 Mile So Tabi and I went out last night and saw 8 Mile.....Really, really good movie! Even if you don't like eminem, or rap...its a good movie. That is definately one movie I'll be buying on DVD. Tabi and I went to Walmart..yet again. We always go to see if we can catch our friend Ginny when she is working. We actually saw her this time! So we stood their talking to her for a while. Not much has changed though...she is the same Ginny. After that we decided to go eat cause we were fricking starving. We were gonna have pizza, but the place was PACKED! So we decided to go to the mall and eat at the Pickle Barrel, which is a 50's diner....good food =) After that we walked around the mall. We ended up going into Hot Topic, just cause I like some of the things they have in their. We go in there and I was like oh my god. When did fucking PuNk! become a damn trend!!! That is soooo fucking annoying! They had all the cuffs and little things to put on your arms, the converse all stars. Band t-shirts that took the place of all the other bands that USE to be there. Like Godsmack, System of a Down, Pantera, etc. They are all gone to Unwritten Law, New Found Glory, Dashboard Confessional, Juliana Theory and Mxpx. I was like you've got to be kidding me. A couple bands make the charts and now punk is a trendy fucking frenzy. A year ago no one even knew who those bands were. Anyway, so I have two more days till I get two days off. I am happy, because my brother has his apprectice classes this week so I'll have the house to myself. Well, until everyone gets home from work. Tomorrow I have to work. I thought I had to work at 8am...turns out I work from 3pm to 8pm. I'm a dork. Then I have Tuesday and Wednesday off, work Thursday and then have Friday, and Saturday off. Anyway, y'all have a nice Sunday =) Current Mood:  awakeCurrent Music: Rescue Me- Unwritten Law |
| Friday, November 8th, 2002 | |
| 11:03 pm | Tabi Cat! So...I am going to come up there after work tomorrow. I get off at 4p.m. and that will probably put me there at 4:30 or 4:45. Were still game right? Is Matthew joining us? |
| 10:49 pm | 1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? A: 16, and I don't think I was mature enough to handle it. 2. How many people have you had sex with? A: 2. 3. How many times a week do you have sex? A: Right now??? I'm 0 for 0 *teehee* under normal circumstances I fit about 5 times in a weekend. 4. How many times a week do you wish you had sex? A: Once a day....once everyday....hell I'd be happy with once a week if my boyfriend were actually in the country to get down with. 5. How many one night stands have you had? A: Zilch. 6. What is the sexiest part of your body? A: Ehhhhh.........*shrugs shoulders* 7. Which do you prefer, getting or giving oral sex? A: Hmm....probably giving cause I love to here my babe moan and groan...hehe 8. What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done? A: Nothing...well unless you count fucking on my brother's bed and his couch kinky. 9. Ever had a threesome? If not would you consider it? A: Ehhh no. I am straight...I am not even bi curious. Not to mention I would probably have to end the relationship immediately after it because I would get to jealous and blah blah blah...at least I am mature enough to admit it!! That and I am not really down with that AT ALL. 10. What's the biggest lie you've ever told to get someone to sleep with you? A: I've never had to lie to kick it. 11. Ever paid or been paid to have sex? A: Nope, but I read a cool story in a book about how this couple would save a dollar each time they had sex and they got to take like 3 week long vacation for their 25th wedding anniversary. 12. What's your best excuse for not having sex? A: I don't think I have ever used an excuse to not have sex. 13. How many times a week do you please yourself? A: Jeezus christ for me its like how many times a month. Its been at least a couple weeks. 14. What's your favorite sexual position? A: Missionary...yup...I am boring. But I also like it when he is sitting on the couch and I am on top....thats a good one too =) 15. What is the dumbest thing you've said during sex? A: I don't remember. It was the last weekend I was with Eric when I said it. It was pretty fucking corny. 16. Do you have a pet name for your privates? And it is? A: Ehhh no....not yet. 17. Do you remember the names of all your partners? A: Yeah, its not like I have been with half the damn country or anything. 18. Ever take advantage of someone who was drinking? A: Nope.....but I might have to get Eric drunk and take advantage of him when he gets home ;-) 19. Have you ever woken up in a strange place with a strange person lying next to you? A: No...thank god. 20. Have you ever used sex toys? A: No...I like things like whip cream, chocolate sauce and strawberries. hehe 21. What gets you horny? A: Right now all you have to say is the word sex or the word horny and it makes me horny. Hey...its been four months...what the hell ya expect =P' Ehhh actually it takes more than that. Hehe just thinking about my boyfriend in his uniform makes me drool *teehee* 22. Have you ever faked it? A: Constantly with my ex. 23. Have you ever thought of someone else during sex besides the person you were with. A: Wow...I don't know if I ever admitted this one before. Yes...when I was with my ex I did A LOT! 24. What's the longest you've been without sex? A: 16 years before I lost it. After well....I am going through it right now......almost 4 months. I'll be a born again virgin by the time I get some again. 26. Ever had sex on the first date? A: Yup. First time I met Eric. 27. Have you ever had a really bad sexual experience? A: I had three years of a bad sexual experience. 28. What is the most unusual thing someone has asked you to do in the bedroom? A: Someone in high school asked me to lick there ass. That was pretty traumatizing. 29. Have you ever cheated on someone? A: No. 30. How many of your answers were really true? A: All of them. |
| 10:38 am | Well I just almost got kicked out of the house. I just got into a huge fight with my mother. I can't calm myself down at all. Shaking, crying...and I can't breath. Now I have a headache. I really want Eric.....I just want him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything is going to be ok. I don't even know if the email on the ship is working anymore. I just want to leave this place and never come back. Current Mood:  sad |
| Thursday, November 7th, 2002 | |
| 9:07 pm | Someone please gimme a gun. *jaw drops* I would have rather been fricking Pam Anderson than this hooker!!! OMG! I must go kill myself now.  Your Inner Blonde is Britney Spears"Whee! I'm a virgin. Look at my butt crack!" If everyone were as dumb as you, you'd be able to pull that one off. But, you do get props for being one of the richest women around! Who's *Your* Inner Dumb Blonde? Click Here to Find Out! More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
| 8:40 pm | For the love of GOD! I come home and I haven't seen my mom in like two days and its not even a hi...how are you? How things going? Its the next time you decide to do laundry you need to check laundry and clean up the water if the washer over flows...which I didn't even know the fucker even overflowed. I have to eat pb and j everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner, because we can't have lunch meat, because Rick "works" and they are for his lunches. What do I just go to Michael's to stand around for my fucking health? Evidently so. You know how people need affection and love? Well I think the last time I got a hug was when I left Job Corp. I got a hug from all my friends. Want to know how long ago that was?? Almost 2 months. When I am upset or sad my mom just is kind of like whatever and I get to deal with it on my own. Granted I am going to have to deal with it on my own for the rest of my life.....but shit you would think since I am still living here she would try to be a fucking mom. Current Mood: annoyedCurrent Music: Army- Ben Folds Five |
| 8:24 pm |  You're a LiveJournal Fiend!You're into LiveJournal, big time... just not as much as your friends. Still, you've LJ'ed from work - and made posts about what you had for dinner. Sicko! You may be safe from the clutches of LJ - or maybe you're just are an adept liar! Are *You* Addicted To LiveJournal? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
| 10:08 am | =D YaY! Well it looks like I am going to be moving to Oak Harbor when Eric gets back. I just pretty much said yes to his offer to live with him. I knew I was going to say yes anyway....I am still thinking about it. But I know, he knows...hell you all know I am going to say yes to living with him. He wrote me an email last night after I told him about all the bullshit that goes on in my house and it pretty much said Sheena it may be a little early for us to live together, but what do you have to lose? Good point.....I hate that. Then he had to go and make another point this morning. He said rumor has it that his base is going to be working 5 days a week now. They were only working 4, which is why he came and visited me so often. But with 2 days off it would be really pointless, not to mention my days off are definately not going to be the same as his. He has weekends off and I know for a fact Michael's won't let me have the weekend off. So in all actuality the only way to give it a fair shot really is for me to move over there. Which LOL I won't argue cause I want to live over there, and I really want to live with him. I am just leary about what happened last time I lived with a boyfriend. I really don't have anything to lose though? I mean if I move over there I get out of Spokane and my mom's house both at the same time. If it doesn't work out....well I am already over in Western Washington where I could really live for the rest of my life and I have friends over there. So, anyway, who wants to help me move? LOL if you say yes Tabi....I am sure there will be a trip down to Seattle in it for you =) Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: The Ocean Song- Pulley |
| Wednesday, November 6th, 2002 | |
| 10:17 pm | GROOOOOOSSSSSS!!! I think my mom and step dad are fucking!!!! I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!!! Current Mood:  sick |
| 3:12 pm | Awwww...  What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed How very, very true. |
| 2:53 pm | Do you ever...... Wonder what the fuck you did to deserve your life. Whether its good or bad? I would say mine is fair, but I don't understand what I did to deserve the bad shit. Its not like I am a bad person. I don't do anything illegal. I think I am a good person. I just don't understand why I get treated the way I do by my parents and some of the people who "claim" to be my friends. I wouldn't be refering to anyone who reads my journal either. *sigh* I am just depressed again....don't mind me. Current Mood: down Current Music: Superman is Dead- Our Lady Peace |
| 2:40 pm | *pulls hair out of head* I am so sick of living in this HELL HOLE!!!!!! They piled the fucking dishes up for 2 days while I worked and waited for me to have a day off or the time to do them. It took me 45 minutes to wash dishes. They don't rinse their shit and it takes me even longer. Anyway, I ended up throwing a pan half way across the room, just because I was soooo pissed off and frustrated! I don't know how much more of this SHIT! I can take. The doc at Planned Parenthood says my blood pressure is evelated and I need to remove myself from the situation or not get frustrated. Well not getting frustrated hasn't worked for 20 fucking years of my life! She says that having elevated blood pressure is not a good sign for someone that is 20 and that it is most likely related to the stress of living in my house with my mother. Granted since I have started working and hanging out with Tabi more I hardly see her. But they leave everything for me to do. Like today. I'll see her today before I go to work so I have to do something around the house otherwise I will get yelled at. I am so sick of this. I would rather be at work than at home. I am going to be paying $150 a month to live here, when I have no room of my own and have to do pretty much everything. I really don't know if I am ready to live with Eric, but I know that is what is going to end up happening because I can't live here anymore for one thing and for another thing I want to be with him. I suppose after being with each other a year that really isn't rushing anything. Maybe I am just being paranoid and afraid. I don't know. Anyway, I was suppose to have today off and I told them that if they need me to come into work to just give me a call. I covered an extra hour yesterday and I am going to be covering 3 extra hours on Thursday. So I am happy about that! I would rather be at work than at home anyway. Current Mood: pissed offCurrent Music: Cat Like Theif- Boxcar Racer |
| Tuesday, November 5th, 2002 | |
| 7:40 pm | *teehee* I just made soap!!! It's vanilla lavender, with lavender buds in it....and its dyed blue!! it smells yummah! I am doing soooo much tomorrow! I need to sit down and write, make postcards, bookmarks and more soap! Oh yeah and get back to my xmas project. Wowsers. Current Mood:  busy |
| 5:02 pm | Why I should have chose the military. because at least in the military you can blow up the fucking enemy!!!!! Retail is possibly one of the shittiest things at times! I've been at Michael's for almost three weeks now and today was the first real kind of crappy day I have had. I mean I didn't let it get to me or anything, but it was just shit. I had two tax exempt bitches from Montana. I wasn't properly trained so I didn't really know how to ring up the order. So naturally I fucked it all up. I have to re ring the order and then I forgot an item and the lady complained that she was getting to much money back because we were just going to give the item to her. She was a real cunt to my poor manager who was just trying to be nice. She was like gee thanks. She tried to say she stood there for an hour...it was 15 minutes at the most. She was just a fucking bitch and I wanted to lean over the counter and bitch slap her. Its like ok bitchface!!! if you want to not get charged tax....how about you shop in your own fucking state!!!! Anyway, I got an extra hour of work today because people there don't like to show up to there jobs. Ok...last time I checked when someone hires you and its a job....don't you normally show up to work? Or is it just me? I am also getting another 3 hours on Thursday which will give me 50 hours total on my next paycheck! Fuck yeah! I am stoked. My manager also told me today that since she is having a hard time finding good workers and that I have been so great that after the holiday season they will probably be hiring me for good =) Which I didn't have any doubt that, that would actually happen. Cause I am just soooo good =) HAHA! Anyway, things look like they are finally starting to get a little better for me =) I have been hanging out with Tabi a alot lately which keeps us both occupied and gives us a little bit of a life! Plus we have fun =) Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: Cameron being a fag |
| Monday, November 4th, 2002 | |
| 10:17 pm | *yawn* So Tabi and I decided after two lame ass movies we would go and see Jackass tonight! OMG I laughed sooooo hard!!! my throat hurts and my cheeks are sore!!! it's hilarious!!! So anyway, I get on the computer to check my email and my friend Merrie Beth messages me and asks me how come I don't talk to Jessica anymore and that Jessica misses me. Well ya know what! that is her own fault. Anyway...last time I checked we aren't in junior high anymore. |