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2003.01.19 23.51 today was a blah day. It was. Very much blah. And bleh too. I didn't do anything at all today other than to lay around and watch TV and go online. I went online quite a bit. I bought a Popples movie on Ebay. That was the extent of my productiveness. Everything is making me cry very easily at the moment. Like, I was watching a movie, and I couldn't hold the tears back for barely a second. I was like full-fledged SOBBING. I'm going to be seeing quite a few movies this week... Tomorrow and (tentatively) Wednesday, AJ and I are going out. We're going to see The Ring and A Guy Thing. And Marie and I are possibly going out either Friday or Saturday to see Two Weeks Notice. I think I'm going to start crying again in a minute. I can feel it coming. Stuff is just upsetting me easily at the moment. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "The people who don't believe in the impossible are just the ones who haven't seen it yet." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Mood:  distressed
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2003.01.19 14.03 just go away. seriously. Someone kill my dad. Now. He's begging me to clean up the chunky dog vomit in the back room, and he's walking around the house doing a rendition of 'Wooly Bully', but of course he's got to make up his own verses to it which makes it even more annoying than it would be originally... Mood:  annoyed
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2003.01.19 10.35 bleh... Gizmo has had at least 5 seizures in less than 24 hours, and I feel like absolute crap. I have had a sore throat for about a week, and I woke up at 6:30 this morning and couldn't sleep anymore, and just a minute ago I started to experience quite bad cramps. Just shoot me already... Mood:  sick
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2003.01.14 11.39 I'm still here... This is a great song: I'm Still Here I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms And what do you think you'd ever say I won't listen anyway You don't know me And I'll never be what you want Me to be And what Do you think you'd understand I'm boy, no, I'm a man You can't take me And throw me away And how Can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me 'Cause I'm not here And I want a moment to be real Want to touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on and feel I belong And how can the world want me to change They're the ones that stay the same They don't know me 'Cause I'm not here And you see the things they never see All you wanted - I could be Now you know me And I'm not afraid And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man They can't break me As long as I know who I am And I want a moment to be real Want to touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on and feel I belong And how can the world want me to change They're the ones that stay the same They can't see me But I'm still here They can't tell me who to be 'Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe And I want a moment to be real Want to touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on and feel I belong And how can you say I'll never change They're the ones that stay the same I'm the one now 'Cause I'm still here I'm the one 'Cause I'm still here I'm still here I'm still here I'm still here ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* It's strange how a day can start out bad and get incredibly worse and then something can happen and just make all of the bad disappear... Like I've said before, it will never cease to amaze me how just when I start to think things are hopeless, the impossible happens, and I know I need to keep having faith... The cake that I made yesterday looked pretty bad, but I think that it'll taste better than it looked. Luckily, Andrew saw the glare of the street lights on the wrapping paper of his presents, because otherwise his boot might have gone right into that cake...lol. If my dad was awake when I got home this morning, I still don't think he'll have a right to say too much seeing as though he was out till 11:30 in the morning the other day... Being with other people just doesn't feel right...being with him feels right... Other people come close to me, and I just want to tell them to go away... He holds me close, and I want to stay there forever... Mood:  lovedMusic: Back in My Arms Again ~ The Supremes |
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2003.01.13 11.03 real quick My LJ has been stupid lately and not let me update, so I'm just gonna do this really fast. I need to go get ready and go to the tanning place. I have to pick up my money from that day last week. It now turns out that they're probably not going to need me for a little while, so I should probably go back to filling out more applications for now. Things are all weird and confusing, and life sucks. I kind of wish that I could just stop caring and not let things affect me as much as they do. I feel too much. It's very frustrating... I've been hanging out with Johnny lately. He's...interesting. He tells me stuff about how much he likes me, and honestly, I just get annoyed by it. I don't want anyone to try and get close to me. I don't have feelings or really even want feelings for other people... I'm supposed to hang out with Mike, the lead singer in Johnny's band, one day this week. He wants me to watch Lord of the Rings with him. I honestly have no desire to see this movie, and I'm going to attempt to convince him to instead go with me to the auto show. I would find much more interest in that. But yeah, things all just feel confusing and make no sense right now. If things have to keep sucking like they have been, I kind of wish I could just stop feeling and caring all together. That's not a great thing to say, but I can't help it. Granted, I would much rather just have things get better so that caring wouldn't be that bad or difficult of a thing to do. Today is Andrew's birthday. I hope he has a good day and doesn't party too much... I have to go drop off his presents. I'll do that before I go to the tanning place. I'm going to go shower. Mood:  depressed
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2003.01.08 22.34 I'm depressed. What's new... School was okay...I don't know if I mentioned that before or not...I don't think so. I had to go to the bookstore beforehand, and since I was running late I didn't have time to go back and move my car, so when I got out of class I had to walk like 4 or 5 blocks with a lot of very heavy books (the 3 I needed for that class plus the 1 I had bought at the bookstore and 2 notebooks). The class that I had yesterday was Contemporary Social Problems. Ms. Jablonski - or Sharon (she said we could call her by her first name) - seemed nice. She gives us a 15 minute break in the middle so that we don't have to sit there for 3 hours straight. Tomorrow night I have my Intro to Soc class. That's going to overlap a little bit when we talk about social problems in there, but it shouldn't be too bad... This morning I was surprised to wake up to a phone call from Tim, the guy who owns and runs South West Beach Tanning Salon. He wanted me to come in and work and train. I basically got paid to clean 2 tanning beds and to sit around on my ass and read magazines and listen to him tell me his life story. Literally, it was like his life story...playing high school football, going to computer college to please his mom, working at a bowling alley, managing a business for guy worth over 8 million bucks, training to be a professional wrestler, getting back surgery, studying astrology, being a serious gambler...I still don't know where deciding to open a tanning salon came in. He sure is interesting though. I'm not going to be making much to start. Basically minimum wage. But it should get higher after he sees how hard I work. Right now I'm on some kind of a 'trial period' though, so I don't think that I can actually say that I have the job yet... I mean, as far as school and the job thing are concerned, things are okay right now...it's just everything else that's sucky. A lot of people are pissing me off. Even Tim today kind of made me mad...because he went into all his astrology stuff. It's not that I'm completely a disbeliever in it, but I don't think that just because of 2 people's signs they're not meant to be together... I'll just try to get him to refrain from going into all that with me when it concerns me and my love life. But even people who I thought were my friends have really been making me mad. I'm not saying that they have to agree with the way I am about things, but they could at least try to be supportive and not seem like they have a total lack of faith in what I'm trying so hard to believe in. The 2 people that do not piss me off are AJ and Janelle. If I don't just up and kill myself for any reason, AJ and Janelle are to thank for that. They both tell me not to listen to what all these other people are saying, and I actually believe AJ when he says that he has faith in me and certain other people...and he doesn't think that certain other people are bad just because of stupid things they have done in the past. That's a big one that I appreciate. It makes me so mad when someone says something bad about a person that I care about more than anything just because he hasn't always made the best decisions. These people can just go to hell. They don't know him. I'm not fucking being 'blinded by love'...I just know him better than anyone that would say something bad about him. He may not need me to defend him, but if anyone ever says something to me about him that I don't like, they're sure as hell gonna know that I don't like what they said and how wrong they are. So, yeah, needless to say, I'm a little on edge right now due to some stupid people... But I'm surviving. I'm trying hard to not let people get to me...it's not always easy, but I'm working on it... Mood:  aggravated
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2003.01.05 21.32 Today was kind of boring. I didn't do much. Sarah and I went to the mall, and I got the rest of Andrew's birthday presents. Then we went a couple other places and she dropped me off. She had to come in for a minute though to see my dad. You see, today, on a crazy whim, my dad decided to shave off his mustache. It looks so weird! Not even my mom ever saw him without a mustache - except in pictures. He said he hasn't seen his upper lip in about 26 years, lol. His face just looks like it's missing something, it's funny. I think when Andrew gets a look at him tomorrow, he's just gonna say 'whoa'. I'm going to watch the new DVD I bought later. It's a Drive-Thru Records DVD, and it's got lots of stuff with New Found Glory and Something Corporate and The Starting Line and Finch and lots of other good bands. Things with the tanning place didn't work out. I don't want to talk about it. But I called this guy at another tanning place I had a good interview at awhile back, and we had a good conversation, and he said that since he's just getting things started up, he's not going to hire me just yet, but I am at the top of his list to be hired, because he says that I seem very upbeat and like a good people-person. So hopefully I can get hired there if I don't find some place else or if I don't like the job I do get. I'm going to apply at Blockbuster tomorrow after I go get my books, and I've got about 5 applications I've got to fill out and turn in. Well, I'm going to go finish watching The Object of My Affection, then watch In the Bedroom, and attempt to stay away from the chips and salsa since I already ate too much of it. Ta ta :) Mood:  hungry
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2003.01.04 21.47 *grin* I'm just in such a smiley mood! I'm just all 'yee', lol. I don't know. I just keep thinking about certain things and certain people, and I'm just so happy. Other people who are depressed aren't bringing me down right now, and people who are happy are just making me happier. Jessica's parents just bought her a car. Now she needs to get her license. It's a 74' AMC Gremlin, silver. Pretty cool little car... I like my hair color. It's reddish again, but this time it seemed to take to my hair better, because it was better stuff. I want to get something with more of a dark purplish accent to it though. La la la...good mood...he he he :) I need to talk to Johnny soon. He called me the other night, but it was like 2 a.m., so I was asleep. I haven't been sleeping too well lately actually. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. We'll see. Well, I think I'm going to go now. I'll watch a movie or something before bed. Night night!!! :) Mood:  optimistic
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2003.01.04 21.35 happiness! Yesterday was pretty sucky, but today made up for it. Today I got to hang out with Andrew for a little bit, and that was very nice. I had my hair dyed my Sarah's mom, and they told me that I should just wait and see if Andrew noticed it on his own. A while had passed and I really thought that he hadn't noticed, but then he told me how much he liked my hair. I asked why, and he said because I dyed it. I was like, "I thought you didn't notice!" And he said, "Of course I noticed :)". Then he was saying different things he liked about me, like my stomach and my legs and my neck and stuff, and I go, "So you only like different parts of me?" And he said that he liked all of me. Then a minute or so had gone by, and I go, "So you like all of me only physically or all of me all together?" And he said, "I like all of you all together, physically, mentally, and emotionally." It was sweet. I yuv him. I'm in a very good happy mood. And since I didn't get to hang out with him as much as I was supposed to today - because he had to go DJ - I get to hang out with him on Monday after he gets out of school. We're going to go job hunting, and hopefully I can convince him to go see the movie I wanted to see. I am so happy! Yee :) Mood: loved
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2003.01.01 12.41 it's been a while since i updated... SO... I got a job. I'm going through training for it right now. I work at *dun dun dun dun!* Unique Super Tan. And, I do not tan (nor do I plan on tanning - even though they are trying to force me to). But, yeah, it's a job, and it's where I got hired, so until I can find something else, that's where I'll have to work. Moving out has become much higher on my list of priorities. I honestly cannot take it here anymore. The fighting that goes on is just more than I can handle. Andrew stopped by Sunday, but I wasn't home, so I went over his house. We watched movies and hung out and stuff. It was really nice. Terrific actually. And I didn't get home till after 3 a.m., but luckily my dad didn't even hear me sneak in. I got to see him yesterday a couple of times for a little bit too, and that was also nice. He's supposed to stop by today to give me back my cell phone since I gave it to him to borrow yesterday in case he needed to call me to pick him up from a party. But he ended up getting volunteered by his dad to DJ a party with Jim, so he didn't have to use it. I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. This is the first time in quite a while that things have been good for more than a day with me and him. Usually, things are good for one day, and then the next time I talk to him, he says we shouldn't be friends or something like that. He apologized for the last time that happened too. I told him it was okay and that I wasn't mad at him, just at what happened. He asked why I wasn't mad at him, and I told him it was because I knew that wasn't him...and whenever anyone says anything bad about him, I tell them that they just don't know him like I do. When I said that, he just got this look in his eyes, and I don't know exactly what he was thinking, but it looked like it was good. I have to clean my room a lot today, and I have to start studying the gazillion different kinds of tanning lotions that there are. Fun, fun! I'm going to go get started on that now. Bye bye! :) Mood: loved
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2002.12.24 18.58 I heard 6 different versions of this song on 6 different radio stations within the span of the hour that I was driving. I'm not sure how many of those times it got me crying, but it was almost every time. Yay for Christmas... *Please Come Home for Christmas* Bells will be ringing this sad sad New Years Oh what a Christmas to have the blues My baby's gone I have no friends To wish me greetings once again Cries will be singing Silent Night Christmas carols by candlelight Please come home for Christmas Please come home for Christmas If not for Christmas by New Years night Friends and relations send salutations Sure as the stars shine above But this is Christmas yes Christmas my dear The time of year to be with the ones you love So won't you tell me you'll never more roam Christmas and new Years will find you home There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain And I'll be happy, happy once again Oh there'll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain And I'll be happy, Christmas once again Mood:  lonely
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2002.12.23 10.12 I don't know if this is me, but I do like FuFu Berry...  Find out what your Jones Soda Flavor is by clicking on the soda! Made by: Dannielle AlbertMood:  worriedMusic: Christmas commercials |
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2002.12.20 14.41 Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Snuffy's Suicide Attempts Poor baby, life is rough for you, huh? No one seems to see you, no one notices your pain--except for your friend Big Bird, but he's alway off hanging out with his other friends. You wish you were him, all happy and curious and popular and bright yellow. You feel like his shadow anymore, like the only reason you exist is to amuse him. It's hard being somebody's imaginary friend. But stop trying to kill yourself--imaginary people can't kill themselves. Sorry. And hey, maybe tomorrow you'll feel better! Someday people will see you, I promise.  Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Mood:  melancholy
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2002.12.17 09.22 Pretend to Be Nice Pretend to Be Nice ~ Josie and the Pussycats Well he looks at me with those innocent eyes And says it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise Because your hair sticks up and your shoes are untied And I hope that you got that shirt at half price And every words I say falls falt on the floor I try to tell a Joke but he's heard it before And I don't think that I can take it no more Cause he's driving me right out my front door Why do you do what you do to me baby You're shaking my confidence driving crazy You know if I could I'd do anything for you Please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you Can't you just pretend to be nice Can you at least pretend to be nice If you could just pretend to be nice Everything in my life would be alright Ooooh Ooooh And I try so hard just to figure him out But he won't tell me what he's been thinking about And then he falls asleep on the living room couch With his sunglasses on and his tongue hanging out And then he disappears for a week at a time And then he just shows up just like everything's fine And I don't get what goes on in his mind But I'm tired of hearing the same stupid lines Why do you do what you do to me baby You're shaking my confidence driving crazy You know if I could I'd do anything for you Please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you Can't you just pretend to be nice Can you at least pretend to be nice If you could just pretend to be nice Everything in my life would be alright Ooooh Ooooh Why do you do what you do to me baby You're shaking my confidence driving crazy You know if I could I'd do anything for you I don't mean to bore you cause you know I adore you But can't you just pretend to be nice Could you at least pretend to be nice If you could just pretend to be nice Everything in my life would be alright Ooooh Ooooh Can't you just pretend to be nice Can you at least pretend to be nice If you could just pretend to be nice Everything in my life would be alright Alright Mood:  rejectedMusic: Open Fire ~ Silverchair |
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2002.12.10 23.22 *Yawn* I'm tired. I didn't sleep like at all last night, and as tired as I was all day, I couldn't manage to even take a nap. I don't even feel like I could fall asleep if I tried to right now... Hang on, I need Cran-raspberry juice... Yum. I lost my glove. Just one of them. I think it's in my car somewhere, but I can't find it. This makes me mad. I want my other glove. It's probably under the seat. Tomorrow I need to go out applying. Bleh. I don't want to. Andrew says that my new job is going out every day to try and find a job. Yay... <--sarcasm. I went to Big Boys tonight with AJ, and I saw Joe and told him about Andrew saying yes to the California trip. He's the one who used his credit card to get me the tickets and the hotel room. He was very happy for me and high fived me and said he hoped everything goes great. I hope so too. I really really need to start making some money...I need a job... My dad is kind of being a dick about everything again. He said before that he could tell I was trying to get a job and work out this college thing, and then today he just took it all away and said I'm obviously not trying hard enough. He really likes going back on what he says like that... I AM trying. With both things. I've done all I can do about the college thing right now. Now I'm just supposed to wait until Monday for my meeting with an academic advisor. I don't know if I'll even get into any classes I want to at that point... I'm just SO excited about California, and I can't wait. It's nice to have something to be looking forward to. I was looking at stuff online earlier about the Beverly Center, Rodeo Drive, the Walk of Fame, Pomona Raceway, Disney's California Adventure Park, the Los Angeles Zoo, and lots more...it was all so cool...I'm excited! Well, I can barely keep my eyes open, so it's time to at least go lie in bed and attempt to sleep... Night night. Mood:  thoughtful
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2002.12.10 00.21 YEE!!!!! Yes, 'YEE!!!!!' is right! I am SO happy right now! Ahh!!!!! There will be no real details, but things are very good and are seeming like they'll be good in the future. Lots of talking was done, and I'm happy about almost all of it. It was so great...really talking, not just avoiding obvious questions and stuff... And here's what I WILL say: Andrew & I are going to California!!! We're going for his Spring break, and we are BOTH very excited about it! Yay!!! Mood: lovedMusic: ^ it's been quite a long time since I've felt like that... |
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2002.12.07 19.10 I have a new icon, and I like it a lot. Thank you to Sara who told me where to find pictures, and thank you to Whitney (truthbetold) for making it for me. I've had a headache all day. There's nothing to do. There's stuff on TV, but I've grown extremely tired of watching TV. On a slightly higher note, Sarah and I went shopping yesterday at Great Lakes Crossing, and I got a new dress along with 2 new shirts and some nice earrings that go with all 3 things. We did have a little bit of problems on the way home from the mall... I drove the wrong way on a street that was similar to Fort street...boy that was fun... Luckily there were no cars coming, but on the other hand, had there been cars coming, I wouldn't have turned into oncoming traffic. Then we got lost in Detroit for awhile...lots more fun... We made it home in one piece though. My dad bought me the purse I wanted for Christmas, but he refuses to give it to me until Christmas, because he says otherwise I'll barely have anything to open up, because I'm getting mostly gift certificates. If anyone knows where I can get any information on Trappers Alley Mall in Detroit, please tell me. I want to know if it's still there and if it still has the fudge shop it used to (I don't know the name of it). If no one can find this information for me, then does anyone know where there is another good fudge shop?... Please comment and tell me. Mood: depressed
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2002.11.24 23.30 *Listen to Your Heart* Listen to Your Heart ~ Roxette I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea. They're swept away and nothing is what is seems, the feeling of belonging to your dreams. And there are voices that want to be heard. So much to mention but you can't find the words. The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind. This song made me feel better last week when I heard it on a bad day, and tonight when I was driving, I was thinking about it, and it came on the radio again and made me feel better when I started to get sad. Mood:  hopeful
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2002.11.23 02.11 What GC Boy are you? brought to you by Quizilla Mood:  happy
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2002.11.23 02.01 *announcement* I just have to tell you all that life is good. Ha ha ha <--- happy, crazy laugh :) Yes, life is good, and I see it getting even better in the future if my luck can continue. Normally, I don't think that my luck will continue to improve and that it will only get worse, but I don't like being pessimistic like that. So now I will be positive and say that things are only going to get better and more wonderful from here on out and hope and pray that I am right. Yay for my great day! *huge grin* :) Mood: optimistic
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2002.11.19 22.26 So you finally realize what needs to happen to make things work...now the problem is making that happen... It's all so frustrating. And none of what I said probably made any sense at all, but I don't feel like going into details. Mood:  contemplative
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2002.11.16 22.21 All I Want All I Want ~ Stephen Bishop All I want is what I had back then when time was my friend when love didn't end all I want is what I have with you is that too much to ask? can dreams still come true? don't look down on me with compromise you can see the world from my point of view it's all up to you all I want - is the promise you'll stay all I want - is one more yesterday no I don't mean to oversimplify but I cross my heart and hope to die all I want is everything I lost no matter what the cost 'cause I've already paid all I want is a memory or two like the ones I had with you I can't let it go all I want - is the promise you'll stay all I want - is one more yesterday no I don't mean to oversimplify but I cross my heart and hope to die all I want - I must confess - is togetherness with just a little tenderness with just a little tenderness and the youngest heart must pay the price all I want - is the promise you'll stay all I want - is one more yesterday no I don't mean to oversimplify but I cross my heart and hope to die That's from the movie, All I Want for Christmas. I love that movie. That, It's a Wonderful Life, and Twas the Night Before Christmas, are my 3 all time favorite Christmas movies. They all have to do with Christmas miracles. Miracles really do happen sometimes, even in real life. And they happen right when you need them the very most - when God can see that you're at that point of almost being hopeless. I know that's when these things happen, because 2 times now I have had things like this happen to me. The second time wasn't a miracle in my opinion, but I had asked for something to happen to show me that I shouldn't give up hope, a sign. And I got it the very next day. The miracle that I experienced was one where I just started to think that nothing was going to be okay again...I had hung out with Andrew, and I had been okay the day before when we actually broke up, but when I saw him, although we had fun, I looked into his eyes, and I didn't see any love. So when I got home, I didn't cry a whole lot, but I just felt like he didn't love me, and it was all a lost cause. That's when he came to my door... Things like that have a funny way of happening right when you need them the very most. I believe in God, and I believe that He doesn't give you any more than He knows you can handle. And when you start to give up and don't think you can make it anymore, that's when He steps in and gives you a hand and lets you know that you still need to keep having faith that everything will be okay. It's like, even when I'm at the point of thinking there's no more chances for Andrew and I, and I can tell that even my friends don't think so, that's when God lets me know that everything is going to work out, even though it might not seem like it at the moment. Maybe it all sounds cheesy, but I don't care, because it works. Right now, I'm surviving, and when I need a sign that I should still believe, I'll get one. Mood: optimisticMusic: What a Scene ~ Goo Goo Dolls |
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2002.11.15 11.37 The vast majority of my life pretty much sucks right now. I have a few good friends though who are helping me to not just kill myself...AJ, Sarah, Janelle, and Charlie. Because of them, I can at least survive through the day. Barely, but still. Other than those people, I don't much want to talk to anyone else about problems, because I don't really trust anyone else. Especially the people at school. I still trust Andrew, but I don't exactly get to talk to him. And I know that he's saying things right now, and depending on who he's talking to, a lot of it is probably untrue. But I don't hate him for it or anything, because honestly, that's just not him. He's not a mean or bad person. And for anyone who wants to tell me, I don't want to hear anything mean he has to say about me or anything mean anyone else has to say about him. Mood: depressed
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2002.11.13 09.28 who to believe, who not to believe I'm not sure who to believe anymore when it comes to what I hear from people at school. One person tells me one thing, another person tells me the exact opposite. People who don't like other people say things to turn me against those people. I really don't know anymore. I trust Andrew 100%, but he's the only one I can really be certain on. I trust AJ, and I don't think that he would lie to me... When it comes to Sarah, sometimes I don't know very much, because everything I hear from her about other people, the other people always end up denying. I talked to Amanda this morning. I debated last night whether or not I would answer my phone today, because I knew it would be her. She tried to talk to me online last night, and I had thought it was her sister, but when I found out it was her, I told her I was busy and couldn't talk. She told Marie that she was going to try to talk to me today. Well, we talked, and I said that yes, I was mad at her, and I mentioned that I knew she hit on Andrew last week. She completely denied it. She said that she never did anything like that, and she said that her and Andrew haven't been in a fight since August. I don't know whether to believe her or not, because I didn't just hear from Sarah that Amanda and Andrew weren't talking last week; I heard it from Marie as well. I really don't know when it comes to some people. It just ends up getting me all confused. We only talked for a little bit, and she said that she had to go back to class, but she said we'd talk later and get more of it straightened out... I don't think I even want to hear what she has to say when I don't know what to believe. I'm happy that everything that happened on Sunday did, and I'm crossing my fingers on getting to hang out with him Thursday... And if I ever talk to Tim today, since we were supposed to talk last night, I need to find out if there are any matinees to that play we're all supposed to go see, because if there's a matinee, then it'll get to be all of us - if there's not, Andrew might not be able to make it because of work. I'm trying to just stay positive and hopeful right now and not let my worrying take over. I need to just concentrate on Sunday being so good and knowing that we're probably at least on the road to getting back together...I really really hope we do... I'm so in yuv. Mood: hopeful
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2002.11.12 13.04 Mood:  good
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