Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Plexus' LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, February 4th, 2003
5:05 pm	Me..lol I do not have the will to do things alone for myself, such as living, it simply does not interest me(?) i lack the necesasry (whatever name goes here) to be able to be confident about myself when i have no one to identify and compare idea's with. this doesn't bother me, but it prevents me from doing things for myself... i am -not- compatible with 97% of the world. i am compatible with over 70% of the world...but with issues lol i am compatible with 1% of the world, without having personal issues. i can not survive on my own alone... i can survive easy on my own with others... "i could life your house if you asked me to." things do not interest me to do things for myself. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
1:03 am	When the night stays light, and the day remains. I Don't Know Where This Is Going.....|)>?<(| The Earth stopped rotating for 4 days. On the 5th day, the moon crashed into the earth. Hence forth rePolerizeing the new earth. A new frozen planet weilds into space revolving once more around the largest sun. Instantly freezeing the decaying burnt surface... creating a New Earth (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 25th, 2003
3:11 pm	NukeSkin I have a bitmap that is about 20k in size. i drew it myself basically with bits(: lol so it's super tiny. but i don't have web server to put this pic on so i can't put it on here if i wanted to :( there is this atomic formula for this cream like substance that i call fake skin... it has radioactive properties that kill of external bacteria. the radiation isn't harmful enough to kill you or hurt you really lol. but it is just strong enough to kill off silly bacteria... little bit more so than whatever soap you're using..haha it's radioactive becuse it has silver in it... the silver gives off electomagnecit frequencies ( just like every other thing ) that imobilizes very small cells..ect ( like bacteria ) if you saw the bitmap i drew ( and you understood micro-whatever physics.. you'd understand how some=what simple this really is... just becuse it is some tropical cream with silver lol well i can't remeber how to put the formula straight foward on here other than in picture form (?) but what it does is kills of bacteria and the main real think is that is sinks into your exsisting skin and creates a saterated layer of new skin. it doesn;t sink into your system, only the first few layes of skin. This also builds up over your skin, becuse it takes very little to satureate it ( isn't this why it's called a tropical cream? ) and the rest that someone end's up smearing on becuse a new layer of skin overtime. If you have ever gotten a bad blister for some reason or another, and poped that sucker only to find out that you wish you didn't.... and you end up removing the dead skin up off of your new found patch of sore skin..lol then what you would end up doing is putting this stuff over your frail skin, satureating the patch up , and causing new skin to form very quickly over what's missing. I haven't had any weird effects such as new multiple layers of skin over just fine layers of skin,... it just get's oil'ly lol it's a form of radioactive skin, that is not powerful enugh to hurt your skin, but strong enough to hurt things that exsist on your skin ( those that have not found out the new trend sweeping the nation called a bath, you dirty bastards, know what i'm talking about. ) heh so.. all this becuse i couldn't put a picture up.. oh well.. looks like i get to waste more than 20k worth's of space :P (Comment on this)
1:40 am	Pulse Attacks Saterday January 5th atleast 3 weeks prior = start of pulse attacks various days \\ usually most affected at nite time \\ seems to last most of the night. illegular heart beat, seems iregular patterns of iregularness... dizzy \\ faint \\ antisocial \\ light amplifies condition heart feels worn out, i can feel thispulsating up my body from my chest, to my head...where it feeels like im being dragged accorss cobblestone.. wave after wave of fast-pulse. short intensities \\ long period effect \\ paralyzed \\ heart/pulse attack? Current Mood: numb Current Music: Before the Rain - Be Mine (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
5:51 pm	experiance being transportationally deprived sure makes having no ride home sound funny.. lol i ended up walking home today because i didn't want to wait around much longer than i already had..................... i ended up doing errands that i normally couldn't do because i couldn't get myself up out of where i am now to get anywhere so i walked home, did a few things, learned a few things, and even met a old friend that reminded me of here i came from long long ago, and what i am still apart of long long ahead. maybe my new friends could possible combine with my old friends to just make a whole new type of friends? .. who knows i even found out about some new 'technology' on a "certain subject",.. here they are made out of glass...hmm, interesting... Current Mood: amused Current Music: DePeche Mode - When the Body Speaks (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 21st, 2002
8:06 pm	Unwaking i almost didn't wake up today...thing's are getting worse. i got up at 7 pm becuse i was woken up by someone else that lives here also, and then a friend showed up soon after, so i wouldn't of been this way for long..heh it just sucks ..i realize that i can actually be down this much to get this far into things ... to have to rely on others to wake me up again.....pah Current Mood: drained Current Music: Ace of Base - Living in Danger (Comment on this)
Monday, November 25th, 2002
1:44 am	the Blood of Life What Goth Are You? when you are at the age of 30 your body starts to die, ask anyone 30... they'll tell you what it feels like (: your body stops regenerating quickly....and it also stops growing. when you are born, you begin to die, death is certain, life is not..... but at least you can still feed off of the human growth hormones also know as HGH ... look it up...*giggles* (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 8th, 2002
4:23 pm	stress?!?!? have you ever held your breath under water for as long as you could...? what about above water?? even after knowing that you'll pass out and start to breath again away???? have you gone further then that, to try to get around it.....? i'm sure most people have been so stressed out, that they try to get away from it all. ppl run away from their problems some way or another, others do face them, and some get no where. perhaps its up to that person to change him or herself, becuse the way they are is why they are... in that bad of shape. Everyone everywhere can get into this perdicament... it seems that only a few actually do something to change or fix it by chaning. if your one of these people, then you need to have something done.. not by yourself.. to make things work ...?? you might be waiting for someone to come along and explain things to someone .. or do something .. that will free you from the stress. Eventualyl someone will see this and think that these kind of people deserve to die, they are too weak to acomplish things on their own, where as the ones that see this will be trapped by things becuse they are too kind hearted, or so depressed from the type of people in the first of this sentance that they need to get away from it all for survival. there are many differant variations and stuff that could go in that sentance, hopefully someone out there understands.... becuse then it will start to spread. right now, i'm getting a bad reputation by others ( not that it 'really' matters to me, it won't stop me from what i want to do in life..lol ) .. some live in 'freind' of mine messes up my house, I get blamed for being a slob (becuse it's my area that is always being messed up ) and yelled at for exsisting in general beucse i don't clean up after this person. I clean up after myself, and most of the time i do for this person, but when i don't constintly look out for a mess, it's my fualt becuse now, i have the same rep. as this person does. its spreading around to family and stuff... a very few of them which 'does' matter to me, thinks the way as i said above.. bad rep and all, and it's bringing me down along with others that live here. they have to go thru the same stuff as i do by others..... and they aren't so tough about not letting others 'opinions' resemble their own... so if your one of those people that get bombarded by life, and ca't seem to escape the clutches of stress.... then try seeking someone that can explain things to whoever hates you in a mannor that they will understand... ( a.k.a. anyone with a degree of psychology.. lol, or a freind that you both know ) it helps big time, trust me.. just make sure its someone that actually cares about what goes on, and not just someone that you pay to complain to.. that makes the over all differance in not having to run away or escape life becuse of its stressfullness on you....... Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Bassic - Tech Demon (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 25th, 2002
11:36 pm	one of those "Ah - Ha !~" moments.... i've realized that in colledge, i should of ( and wanted to ) taken a path that leads me to psycholgy. i like it more then computers...which is what i've also been going after at the same time. but it doesn't pay anywhere as near as the same ... 20$ / hour whenever (being a counsilor, therepist..shirnk?, atleas someone out there knows what im talking about...) comparied to 200k a year, being a computer system anyalisis. (you fix the fluck up's that others have done in programing and fix them yourself, amoung other things ) -makes anyone who had set up a life where cash was needed to take the 200k a year part. lol. 20/h full time makes about 80k a year............ lol , 200k sound smuch better. 15k is survivable (until your so fed up you commit suiside) i wanted to retire very early and spend the rest of my time with someone i loved and cared about the most... becuse i only want to be with the person so i can stay happy .. forever , that dream world i so much want to be in. and at first, about my degree's, i went for both psy and pc's becuse i just couldn't decide between them.. heh i wanted the cash and the hapyness ..lol since i kind of didn't do too well on the psych stuff becuse of the class that was very hard comapried to the rest, (im talking about a serious of classes where you must pass in order to get your degree, well the 2nd in the serious kicked ass so much that i could of done brain surgery very easyly, where as the ones after that of the seriers are the fun ones to me, where i get to learn about personalitys and aspects of life)... that makes me wonder just how much the school system thinks upon personalities and such, maybe they view it as too hard, or maybe i am forgetting that everyone needs a basis or nderstanding, and the brain surgery class acts as vocabulary to the rest of the education of seriers of classes...lol?!?! i did much better at the low level pc stuff, i stopped my advances towards schooling for psych stuff, (which was a mistake becuse i did not have enough experiance in seeing the dificulties of each until later ) and more so on what i needed over all to graduate and also towrds a degree in computers. well now im not doing so well on the very high level pc work, becuse of the hard logic i assume - that mostly makes up of what i am 'not' in my mind and personality... im actually going to try for everything for psychology now rather then computers, all beucuse i've realized my potentional for it all. more so then computers ever could be. I'm just so well off in dealing with technology that ive taken the pc route becuse it looked good.. lol =) i'll have to see where the other one takes me... hehe who knows, im hoping its possible to incorperate the pc work into being a therapist/counsolor and get paid 200k / year plus the 80 other some thousand a year... by being an online therepist.. lol ppl like this just do not know the potental, or maybe they do since they are like this.??? lol i dono.. heh this only makes sence to thos elike me, since you know from exp what im talking about....lol! Current Mood: enlightened Current Music: DePeche Mode - Blue Dress (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
8:56 pm	.... heh, im in class, totally clueless as to what im doing, and passing with close to an A ... well this does nothing for what I want to know, it helps me out in finding out that this sucks .. lol this is basically a class i go to every week and sit down and recover from last week, or the week before... and to top it all off, i haven't herd from someone in what seems like forever... im all alone again. Current Mood: crappy Current Music: what's music? (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
9:44 pm	: ) : ) ......... woohooo lol Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: No Doubt - ??? (Comment on this)
Monday, May 13th, 2002
4:52 pm	damn ... I haven;t written in so long for so many reasons for so something i forget so so so .. what?.... as you can see, im crazy now. My life is all twisted up and upside down that i can't think even if my life was based on it ( which sadly lessens my desicion to think ) My best friend is going away in my life becuse someone took her away . My other best friend is in real bad shape, and i hardly get to talk to her ether. I wish i had more friends that understood me and all, I am running out of places to fall back on in life. The only place left is to fall deeper into insanity. if anyone can read this.. someone check on me from time to time to see if im still all there...... i mean it .. my icq # is 39574158 and i have msn, which my address is Plexus4U@HotMail.com If you think for one minute that this is some easy way to send spam, think again. The Empty folder button is almost always the first to go, so get me on icq first if you "really" wish to get to know me....? the first few times i wrote in my journal, i was amzed at the thing, then later... i realized its just some way to call out to the world. and stopped putting anything on due to privacy i assume. now im just going crazy looking for help amoungst anyone out there that can help. i know there are ppl that random find me from time to time, just read the repies.. hehe well i got some of my frustration out of the way.......... i think i'll stop here for now. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: KoRn - Leaving This Place (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 14th, 2001
10:13 pm	Warning from the other side When I dream I can remeber everything that I've ever done while I was asleep. I cant remeber most of anything that I did when I was awake.. and visa versa I very rarely remeber stuff unless it's one of those things that are kinda out of place and important. most people dream random things that are on there mind that really wont go away until further thought is done and some people have crative dreams and all.. when i dream, i pretty much resume what i was doing before i stopped or something new that i need or want to do... just like researching... one thing that ive done with my other side of me is live a life there. its kinda like how this one is the rules of physics apply since i dont really have any idea of anything new there when something doesn't apply to it i kinda sit there and wonder and fix it. those are the things i remeber from dreaming with im in this world. when you kinda sit back and look.. and go.. hmmmm thats not right. just recently ive continued to be in that world ( as far as i know its just last nite ) and i remeber certain things that got messed up in the physicas and such. but it was more of... since i was about to wake up my memory of this world started to get in to my other world... they never get shared, and as i only remeber certain things ( like when they match from this side and that side ) here's what i mean.. i was takeing a test to see how much ive done and how much i know... the part i remeber doing is writeing down all the citys you know of in every state of the us.. i'll have to explain more about this part later.. lol.. but when i started to write down the citys i started to wake up a little but didn't but my memoiry of right now - this world - type of thing got loaded into my mind and i lost all my memory just about ( comapired to what i had already knwon in there ) and i could only remeber the citys that are around here like withing 50 miles or less .. and a few special places ( like where family lives ) .. comapired to nation wide ... after while i guess i got into depeer sleep again and everything was back to narmal for whats supose to be in there. and i knew everything from before again and resumed writeing thigns down whiel i still had time ( the test took me 3 days on that part ) ( hey you try writeing every city name on paper one by one lol ) as far as i know this was when i was about to wake up in this world and like 10 seconds later i woke up type of thing.... in there time goes super fast compared to here.. ( in there its just normal time nothing like you blink and its tomarrow lol ) anyway.. i had to take these tests... becuse it was to certify i was ready and i knew enough to pass on my knoledge to someone else that was ether going to take my spot, or follow under me like an apentice.. but it felt like my time was comeign to an end and i needed to do this to pass on my knoledge type of thing i remeber 3 years ago ( on the other side / this is all in one dream or nite here btw ) 3 years is as far as i can remeber back for that... i was on a journy to that pace.. traveling with a few of my friends that were doing the same thing and as weird as it sounds at the moment we all were rideing on some kind of horse but it was like enhanted or somethign special it had a higher protection over it ( like survival? i dono. it just dont die like it should ) and these wernt horses they were something else just horse shape or horse like.. i cant remeber all the details of it cuz well.. im not alseep lol my friend had to kill his to get the jaw bone off of its body to fit it into the keyhole to get past this one place to get to the school grounds. the bad thing was that i had to get off of my transportation also and watch this lol he wasn't very good at killing his horse thing... and the thing was still alive and ugh it was so details and graphic i bet its still alive if i went back to that spot its just a few miles off of hte grounds into this field ( like a desert but like a grass field lol just grass everywhere ) his tounge rolled out of its throat and it was all huge and pulseing trying to rest on its missing body part... lol. i everntually looked away cuz i didn;t want ot see it hurt and watch my friend put it in the keyhole on this big boulder ( there was a wall made out of these things ) and this one had the keyhole and everything it moved ot the side we went in and went on with everything. that when i went intot he school grounds and sat down with my friends and looked around at the class mates there.. it was alot of younger ppl like children ( btw im close to like 400+ on that side... thats what hapends when you live 5 to 20 year chunks at a time every so often a month... ) everyone there was like ages 10 - 15 and my friends which were like 300 somewhere and like maybe 80 and 120? i think thats it realy.. and a few elderly people that were there for the same reason as me i supose... then the tests start out askign you where you have been ( becuse you can travle anywhere you want to by your thoughts when you like me just iamgine it and it happends its useually a map starting where you live at .. like right now at your own home area or town or whatever lol.. you go travleing around to some landmark then off at high speeds and go searching for things to learn or watch or understand.. watching friends grow up or other ppl.. guideing them thru there life and everything.. or just plain ol' wondering around exploreing well all these tests were all about everything like this what did you do what have you leanred who have you seen and watched ect just what you do every sec .. lol full report and if you passed your tests you were allowed to share your knoledge to someone else.. as a big chucnk not just partical info that would help here and there they needed to know everything.. and you were teach them ( like i do with my friends in there time to time.. ) but this time around,,.. i never needed to get certifyed for the stuff i know.. and it felt like my time was come'ing to an end.. and i needed to get this done to pass on my spirt and knoledge..... possibly to my child or just some speicla friend or random child they pick that needs it ( becuse of that child's talent (like mine?? ) ) ive been really heavly doing psychic stuff lately stuff i haven;t done since i was a kid.. and i wanted to kinda get rid of it for a reason also... anyway things have been going on and off without my control like im loseing it again when i was little... and then this happends on the otehr side.. and im beinging to put 2 & 2 together..lol and starting to think im about to lose things once again and i need to find someoen to take over?? i dono maybe its just in there but things have been similar here so maybe its a sign and maybe not.. i dono i just think its a warning... Current Mood: worried Current Music: DePeche Mode - List of songs from them... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 10th, 2001
1:12 am	This is it. I have no one else to talk to but myself right now... I'm feeling allot of strife and disharmony about my life right now... I have a disease that will always stay with me throughout this life. I will always be in pain, and I will always keep trying to feel better. but for someone like me... that doesn't believe in a afterlife that are in books or how people want you to believe they are... this is it for me. I have worked on theory's and experiments that would allow someone to live forever. My reason for doing something like this was to preserve this life... so I wouldn't stop feeling things that I cherish so much now... Once you get close enough to death.. and start to question and wonder about things.. you get scared sometimes.. and act out from it sometimes also... The only thing missing, in all my thoughts, is the love and companionship of a single friend.. as they do not want to live forever... too much discomfort for "forever". I believed it was just there lack of knowledge of what they would be missing.. people just don't care sometimes.. It's there way to deal with an unstoppable force, to get use to it in a way. I've thought about getting use it to it myself... I still don't want to die.. but I stopped caring enough to just hope that anyone who knew me would just "move on". -Where as I was very concerned about my friends well being rather then mine from my own death. After a while, I have come to the conclusion, that the way I am about that.. could just not be that way. I'm not the type that just sits back when I can help. I do things because I care allot about others feelings, too much in-fact because of the responses I have been getting from everyone about death and life. I even get hurt from being too caring sometimes... others just do not realize how sensitive I can be... Since i feel that I do not have much of a future in a after life, I worry and ponder about my life, how to improve it... how to make it so I am comfortable with it... because I will die eventually, my theories will fail from no-one being there for me when I need it, and i will pass away along with them. After realizing this.. there isn't much that I want to do anymore for improving my education since I feel I have enough to survive. Many people have felt that further education is just not needed, but you find something you like, or you are forced by your superiors into continuing "for your own good" or there own. You do feel that you know enough to live out your life without problems... and you do feel the need to quit... until you find something you like to do... and go for it as a goal in life to further pursue your life into happyness... but what if you feel the goal in life, and that great job.. does nothing to make you happy anymore.. and you have nothing to do.. but write what's on your mind.. and hope someone will be around to talk to. Most of the times you don't feel like looking for someone... your just tired of it all.. and start contemplating life once more.. thinking back on when you just feel the need to die but can't do it manually out of fear of losing your consiousness... trapping you to live out ones life span.. seeking out just the few things that you have left, that make you happy. One major thing that makes me happy... is a loved one being around.. someone to talk to... someone to help ease the pain of the day.. If that loved one is around me.. that is all I need in the world.. to be happy and live out my life.. that gives me reason to want to live forever.. it gets me thinking about all kinds of possibilities to do anything.. if only she knew and understand how I feel and how much it means to me.. but as I said... no one said they would want to live forever.. they don't want to keep feeling the pain that I also have everyday. I just had to change the way i feel about it a little.. ignore the pain.. because I'm in my own personal heaven from having someone around.. and live forever with it... but to them.. they don't get the same feeling when I'm around...:( I don't emanate any positive feelings that why.. or no one cherishes time with me.. or much or anything anymore.. I guess that's why they don't want to live forever... to much pain.. just the thought of it makes some people quiver and have gut wrenching feelings.. when all I want to do is be happy.. and it just blows my mind when they don't see it like I do... how could anyone not possibly see any good in it all...? ....it's because they don't want to.. as I said before... too much pain.. The more I think and ponder about such things... the more I think about my own death... why does it have to end... I don't want to die.. I can't just accept it like anyone else... my very own mind and consciousness have grown to much for it to accept itself to just die... every time someone asks me about if I believe in a god or an afterlife.. the more I want to believe everything was formed just to be a tranquilizer for your own death... something to believe in.. to comfort or trick your consciousness into thinking it will still exist there-after... I don't even want to talk about all the possibilities of how anything got started.. Since there is not enough proof out there.. to believe in anything... my mind is scared of losing all it's memories and abilities. All that can be will become all that will be... but only your consciousness stays active or at-least around... All that being said.. my mind still has pages and pages and pages of thoughts and ideas about life, and further... just not enough time in the world to see them through. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: DePeche Mode - All I Ever Wanted (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 26th, 2001
1:54 am	what do you do, when you need someone, but they dont have any time for you anymore... Current Mood: sad Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 25th, 2001
1:21 am	looking around...... at what i missed I haven't been on.... or around much really. Iv'e been depressed and.. found out alot about what my healh and such... I feel like I've crawl'd out of a coffin }: )>> and looking around to the world as I last rememberd it. Need to explore some things over again as I don't know what has happend to the places I've constantly wonderd about...... but never could re-vist... freinds and luv'd one's... I felt like I was dieing a while back...... now that I'm dead.... its time to just get up and go back.. lol. and see how it goes... }: )>> Current Mood: creative Current Music: my theam song........... (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 24th, 2000
7:09 pm	eh? i keep hearing this sad lonely sounding animal.. its kinda quiet and its crying or something... so very sad... i dono sounds like it's next door.... its sorta crying at the same time i breath.. makes me wonder if im conected to it someway and affecting it.. poor thing..im sorry then i find out whats makeing the crying noises....... me.. my nostrils Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
6:52 pm	hmmm..... i haven't really done much to this thing... i haven't really had the need to.... i just went to some advent church thingy... being the way i am and all... it almost killed me my body aint all that good.. soo standing up singing did a number on me..... destroyed my knees and back and.. well.. everything.. bah oh well.. then i had to complain to my mother about feelin terible.. i needed to go home.. i need rest.. i need to get outa this place i was in.. then mother had agreed to take me home... but only after a small fight... almost had to walk home beuse she wasn't going to do it... out x-neighbor( her church we went to ) wants to go out to dinner always with my ma everytime there together or doing something.... which is waayy too much for me... i started to feel really sick.. and needed to go home really bad... but.. if you knew my mother... i have a very small chance of doing that...(it's just how she is... i wish she was more careing.. ) i almost colpased and broke down right there in the middle of the crowd.. from hearing how my ma dont care how i feel and that i was going out to dinner...... bah.. i shoudl have gone just so i could have gottne sicker and passed out there.... maybe make her relize what shes doing to me.. i dono.. anyway.. im not supose to be on here.... i guess... "goto bed, i dont want you on that pc. if you can be on that pc. you can goto dinner wtih us" wrong... does anyone else relize that im sick here?... and going to bed would make me miserable... cuz i wont be able to sleep.. im staritng to feel a little bit better now.... im guna have to get off anyway soon i guess... i dont want to make things worse or get into another fight... end up sicker.................bah.. i hardly relize that xmas is tomarrow.... i hardly care. i don't want any presents... ... i just want.. to be with a certain someone.... many many miles away.... thats all.... . . . ?.. hey look... im bablleing...... oh well here i go...... bah!.... Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Monday, December 4th, 2000
1:51 am	experance have you ever stopped and thought about how you are.....? your past is what makes your outlooks on things... past relationships past familys past experance in gneral... these things make you the way they are... they shape you and ship you out. take something you like doing best, why do you like doing it.?.. how did you start.? take a past relationship for example.... if you dont have one skip down alot hehe.. if you were mistreated.. your outlook on love and the opisite sex is pressty messed up ain't it ? you remeber the bad... some ppl.. remeber how it feels.. and change for the good.... some ppl.. remeber how it feels.. and change for the bad..... the ones that change for the good of it... are the ones that constantly remeber how he/she was treated and are very careful not to be that way to there future lover.. they treat there lover with love and repsect always.. and pay close atention to how that person feels makeign sure he/she is doing good and not beign mistreated.. the ones that change for the bad of it... are the ones that constaly remeber how he/she was treated and are very careful not to let that happen again to them... they build up walls and never trust anyone... they never give anyone a chance and shut themselfs off from those ppl that are truely nice ( that changed for the good ) thus... createing another tortured soul.. yet makeing another person that will ether take charge of there life becuse they have had enough...and straight'n things out with that person... or die trying you then make changes.. for the better.. if it's for the worse.. well.. congradulations.. you'll end up hurting someone from it and start the cycle again. Most ppl... who want to try everything and anything... are ppl who missed alot of opertunitys that they needed or wanted in the past.... these ppl grow around it sometimes if it's related to some big thing they like to do.... this changes how they act around that subject(what they like) and it makes an outlook for them. an outlook that might make someone think a little weird about that person hehehe.. but never the less.. it's there just becareful its a good outlook...heh and if you keep sasying the same thing over and over... you do belive it... but if you mindlessly say something over and over.. your just a moron =P Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 26th, 2000
7:16 pm	thinkin' I haven't really written in a while I supose... there has been nothing that i could write anyway... hehe, espeically where ppl can see it.. ;) have you ever wanted to live forever? do you know anyone that could?... and know what there feeling in the long run. if you've done everything, things aren't exciteing, it's just repeditive. things have no value. even pain eventually. you wont feel it, you'll be use to it. and that is why you do not want to live forever, you wont feel anytihng, you wont do anything, your exsistance is based on what happends around you. becuse you wont do anytihng to make things happen, they wont be worth it. which is worse then not being able to live forever. atlest then you'll feel stuff.. that is what someone would say if they could live forever..... it's not possible to tell if they did.... heh. it hasn't been forever yet... so then maybe it's a good thing to be inexperiacned.... and not rush things the fastest they can go.... becuse then you wont be miserable about how you dont feel anything... someone ppl want to rush things to get to a point where it's better then where they are.... most likely becuse they cant stand it there..lol. that's just like me there. sometimes that person also doesn't have time to wait... i don't dare go into details on that one.... too much for me to feel and understand...heh. that's when you just read between the lines of that person, and get a more understanding of things. i kant tell you much about me, you'll see how i hate to be alive i belive that you just cant experance something for long without it loseing some of the effect it has,so you continue to explore and find new things to do....and.. for those speical ppl out there, i understand that the world has it's limits on how much it holds... and i forgot what i was guna say so im guna end typeing about it here.. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: guess... heh (1 Comment |Comment on this)