LiveJournal for Vanessa. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Wednesday, November 13th, 2002

Subject: noah wile... Time: 10:47 pm. Mood: bitchy. Music: FLO.

i gotta keep myself busy... gotta keep my mind from wondering... i don't like when i go into to those random trains of thought where i get all negative, self conscience, sad, and upset... grrr... wicked freakin annoying... anyways... had a couple good convos tonight... disappointed and excited about the weekend... need to make some good plans... i shall i shall... hopefully lol... well... feeling weird... gonna go to bed soon....

Comments: 1 too late - help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: 11 days til james bond!!! Time: 10:44 pm. Mood: moody. Music: the mix i made for linz... very good if i do say so myself.

well today was weird... i was in a bad mood so... band from 9-11:30... that sucked... but it was for a good cause so yea... made up the german test after school... i think i did well... talked to maren for a while on the phone today... it was random... she was all hyper and it was funny... but all in all, mostly an unproductive convo... but still good... maybe this weekend... ummmm... thats about it... history test tomarrw... should be interesting...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Time: 12:12 pm. Mood: numb. Music: only the song in my head.

blahdiblahdiblahhhhh i don't know what kinda words to use to explain how i feel right now... hahahaaaa writing poems... what an odd thing... good though... good good... the only thing i can write right now are lyrics... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You’re running free at record speed My legs are crushed – my arms they bleed Inside of me turns like a washing machine While outside I form a smoke screen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What if I died? Would it make any difference now I know I’ll feel better in the morning But this is how I feel right now If you need anything just call This is the understatement of the year ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ urgles... lunch time...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Time: 12:12 pm. Mood: numb. Music: only the song in my head.

blahdiblahdiblahhhhh i don't know what kinda words to use to explain how i feel right now... hahahaaaa writing poems... what an odd thing... good though... good good... the only thing i can write right now are lyrics... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You’re running free at record speed My legs are crushed – my arms they bleed Inside of me turns like a washing machine While outside I form a smoke screen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What if I died? Would it make any difference now I know I’ll feel better in the morning But this is how I feel right now If you need anything just call This is the understatement of the year ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ urgles... lunch time...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: pacemaker pace yourself... Time: 10:38 pm. Mood: artistic. Music: the anniversary - sweet marie.

well today i went to the soccer game... it was an excellent game... but nbpt lost... 1-0... it was a tough loss... they played really well though.... but the other goalie was amazing... so they we couldn't get a goal... although there were a couple veryyyy close shots... last night was fun... i realllly liked feeling left out... they were really good... i went w/ jamie and lauren... heh heh lauren commented yay!!! hopefully i'll get to hang out w/ jamie sometime this week... and i got to see michele so that was a plus! i never see her anymore... it's sad! must make plans w/ her soon... well... i must be off now...

Comments: 1 too late - help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: give me a chance to clear my name... Time: 6:48 pm. Mood: devious. Music: feeling left out - spilled milk.

powderpuff today! it was a lot of fun!!! i'm like dead now though... my team the *pink ladies* lol did well... we won our first 2 games so we made it so like the semi-finals (if thats what u'll call it?) and we lost by a touchdown to the freshman... that was a rough game... too bad... it would have been fun to go play the other sophmore team... friday after school i went downtown w/ chandler and jeff... we met up w/ lindsay, jess, dave, and some other people showed up... that was fun... i like hanging out w/ them :) then cam and i walked back to the high school for the football game... i like talking to him... it's fun... the football game was ok... mr.nuccio was being an ass... but i try to make the best of the games... then a bunch of us went to carly's to make t-shirts... selpt over... went to powderpuff this morning after bean's car broke down cause she ran out of gas hahaaaa... jamie's gonna pick me up soon and we're gonna go to the feeling left out show... should be fun.... and maybe alexs afterwards to watch movies? but i dun really think we'll have time... ehhh i'm reallly tired... but i took a nap, so i'm better than i would have been if i didn't lol... tomarrow i'm going to the soccer game w/ my dad and linz's mom will drive me home... i'm excited... good luck to them... well... gonna go and watch tv b4 jamie gets here... p.o.

Comments: 1 too late - help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: give me a chance to clear my name, through the years i love u the same... Time: 11:44 pm. Mood: tired. Music: feeling left out - gravy fries and dirty lollipop.

well... today school was kinda a joke... i didn't do anything... did a lil bit of work in bio after we finished watching the movie... then mr. wolfe wasn't here, so i didn't really have to do anything in class and i didn't have to make up the test... which means i won't have to make it up til next week, cause i can't make it up tomarrow... then enrich and graphic design... class meeting after school... that was ok... then i came home and a lil bit later, anne's mom came and picked me up so we could go to her cheerleading competition... that was a lot of fun... i liked watching the teams preform, esp newburyport! lol anne's so full of energy, it makes me smile... she did very well! no one that was supposed to go w/ me did, but it's ok... i heard the soccer team won 5-0... go them! finals are on saturday... i wanna see if i can go to that and the show w/ jamie... cause i really want to go to both... hmmmm... well i'm not going home from tomarrow morning til saturday afternoon lol... tomarrow, school, downtown w/ chandler and jeff and lindsay, football game, carly's house, wakeup, powderpuff... home? then show and/soccer game... and maybe movie night??? gonna be a long weekend!!! i kinda wanna just rest and do homework on sunday, but i might try to make short plans w/ someone... we'll see... ummmm... well my mom's been being a wicked bitch tonight... she flips out about everything, then bitches me out when i try to say something back... and won't admit that she started anything... urrrrr... that pisssssses me off!!! well, i'm tired... and i need to do a lil more homework... p.o.

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: 11:11 Time: 9:12 pm. Mood: surprised. Music: feeling left out - goodbye my friend.

i'm a big ball of confusion... so the semi was a sucess... i had a lot of fun... thanks jamie... u made it great... today i went to whit's w/ jamie... that was fun... they're fun kids to hang out w/... then jamie took me to cvs to bring the camera in... I WANT THE PICS RIGHT NOW!!!!!! heh heh... then he brought me home and i had to babysit... made $20! nice nice money for the show tomarrow!!! WOOOHOOO THE USED!!! gonna be a blast.... bennny and julia will be there yay!!! i've been having really good/interesting convos tonight... i had a nice one w/ abbey... good to talk to her... and shes got a good head on her shoulders... lol... interesting things... good clarifications... good to know... things r looking... ummm good??? i think so... yes... they look good :) its about time...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: my wish came true... Time: 1:00 am. Mood: tired. Music: sister sister theme song lol.

just got back from janelle's after the semi... i had a lot of fun... it was cool to actually be able to like do something after an event like that, be able to stay out, and like get to be a kid! lol... but the semi itself was really good... just a tiny bit awkward at times bc like jamie didn't know neone... but it ended up being good... he's a really cool kid... def need to hang out w/ him more... heeeheeee... well i'm really tired now... so i'm gonna go to bed...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: more specials = good cd Time: 9:51 pm. Mood: tired. Music: get up kids - forgive and forget.

so today i... had a science test... dunno how i did... after school i had jazz band, then i met up w/ chandler, jeff, and some keith kid who drove us downtown... that was fun once again... i like that group of people... they are a lot of fun... but i had to leave a lil early... which i guess was good... cause i wouldn't have really known what to do next... but we'll see what happens... ooo semi's tomarrow!!! i'm excited!!! should be fun... ummm well... yea.. my mom's a bitch... she like seriously made me cry in the freakin store today... but she didn't know, i was in the dressing room... it's like i fucking know mom!!! i do have eyes! gaddddddddd... gay lady... the lil girl i babysat tonight was really cute... such a peanut... we watched the little mermaid haahaaaa.... p.o.

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: let me take this awkward saw, run it against your body... Time: 11:42 pm. Mood: anxious. Music: saves the day - rocks tonic juice magic (thanks chandler).

ok so... i have been studying... for a while i was just like... FUCK!! I HAVE NOOOO IDEA ABOUT NE OF THIS SHIT! and i was all pissed bc i thought i was gonna die... but then after ER when i was study, i began to understand... and definitions just popped out of my head... it was random... well either way the test will suck and i will do shitty... but... it's my fault for not studying the past week... god damn me and my procrastinatingness... i hate that about myself... along w/ many other things that i have been thinking about lately... and i think i wanna change some things about myself... i just don't know... my eyelids are getting heavy.... and i'm gonna be wicked tired tomarrow... i hate confrentations... i really want to hang out w/ chandler and go downtown tomarrow... but i found out today in school that the first playoff game for the soccer team is right after school and its home... so i dunno what to do... bc i'd told some soccer players i would go a while ago... but i already made plans... i just don't know... damn the lack of tomarrow plans... that would have helped me forget this shit... HOPEFULLY liz and i will get our chance soon enough... just a taste will do us good... heh heh i like my hair... it's fun having it shorter... and OMG i can put it up reallllly easily... and i like it up, so like during sports i can be cool and wear it up! wooohooo! go me!!! hmmmmm... i have bad feelings about up coming events and i think i will be disappointed... and last time something exactly like this happened... very bad things came out of it... i don't think i really want to start that again, well, not the way it was in 8th grade... but i am excited about the semi... it should be fun... and jamie will be fun... and and... i dunno what we're doing afterwards... but i get to be w/ alex! sooo yay!!! i love her! shes the greatest... i think i've had too much rambling time... i must leave now... p.o.

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Time: 8:59 pm. Mood: okay. Music: none bc the freakin speakers aren't working!.

i'm excited for the weekend!!! woohoo... after friday at school things will be good (aka after my bio test is over...) on friday after school i have jazz band... then i'm meeting up w/ chandler and we're hanging out... probably going to homespun to visit lindsay (p)... that'll be fun... i very muchly enjoyed that last time... then i have to babysit at 7... so that = money... so yay!!! then saturday is the semi! wooohooooo... i'm excitedddddd... heheeeeeeeeeee... should be much fun... but i have freakin band the next morning and i'm supposed to be at school at 7am... no joke... i'm gonna talk to mr.nuccio about that tomarrow... bc i realllly dont feel like doing that... hmmm so yea... gotta go do some work... so peace out...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: u can have the best of me... Time: 9:21 pm. Mood: geeky. Music: the starting line - best of me.

AWESome quiz i stole from some others journals... muhahaaa... last... x. movie you rented = Memento- one quality movie... x. movie you bought = ummm married to the mob... quality old michele pheifer movie... x. song you listened to = the used - poetic tragedy x. song that was stuck in your head = beauty and the beast - belle heh heh shhhh... x. song you've downloaded = ummm some feeling left out songs x. cd you bought = the new death cab for cutie cd for alex... heheee x. cd you listened to = my old mix that had quality songs that reminder me of basketball on them... ::sigh:: x. person you've called = Lindsay x. person that's called you = Lindsay x. tv show you've watched = that 70's Show/Buffy/Real World (Tuesday night!!!) x. person you were thinking of = Jamie... cause i'm talking to... heh heh... do... x. you have a bf or gf = no x. you have a crush on someone = yes x. you wish you could live somewhere else = sometimes... ny would be cool... x. you think about suicide = its a possibility x. you believe in online dating = nah... thats no fun... x. others find you attractive = lol... ummm i dun know... ask them... not me! x. you want more piercings = yea... thatd be cool... x. you want more tattoos = one or 2 would be cool... x. you drink = not yet lol.. x. you do drugs = not yet... x. you smoke = nope x. you like cleaning = sometimes x. you like roller coasters = as long as i dont throw up! x. you write in cursive or print = actually... today i wrote in cursive... it was random... but normally i just print... x. you carry a donor card = nope didnt know i could... for or against.. x. long distance relationships = depends x. using someone = against x. stringing someone along = against... unless the deserve it... like payback... x. feeding someone bullshit = against...or if they deserve it sure... lol... x. suicide = against x. killing people = against x. teenage smoking = against... thats dumb... x. doing drugs = ummm... undecided... i don't like not like it... and i don't really care if people do... as long as they aren't stupid about it... BUT NO SELLING!!! urrrr x. premarital sex = as long as u rn't stupid about it!!! and like... u should def love the person... x. driving drunk = totally against... i dont care if u drink... just be like responsible... in the drunk kinda way lol... x. gay/lesbian relaionships = for... whatever floats your boat... best.. x. gum = trident white or nething good... x. tv show = BUFFFFFYYYY!!!to the max... x. thing in the world = having fun w/ your friends... x. thing to collect = pokemon cards!!! heh heh jk... pictures... memories... pins... ummm... stickers!!! x. colors of all time = blueeeeeeeee x. thing to do on a rainy day = watch a movie and be all comfy... or go and play in the puddles/rain w/ an umbrella!!! x. feeling in the world = being loved... realizing how much fun your friends r... favorite... x. food = CHINESSSEEEEE... and candy... x. song = ummm... at the moment, the cranberries - liar (from empire records) but in general... probably RUFiO - Stop Whining x. thing to do = hang out w/ friends... eat... sleep... x. thing to talk about = ummm... basically nething... monday night's talk was good!!1 haahaaa right liz, anne, and linz??? heh heh... x. sports = SOFTBALLLLLLLLL!!!! x. drinks = orange soda! rootbeer... and water... x. clothes = comfy jeans (gap/old navy)... a good t-shirt (back to the future/wonderbread?)... cool socks (tube socks heh heh)... Chucks! and my checkered belt!!! x. picture = ummm the pic of me, manda, and alex... me and mags... ben...me in jamie's glasses hehee... and alll the concert pics!!! o and a camp pic... x. movies = 10 things i hate about you! EMPIRE RECORDS!!! and EVIL DEAD 2!!! haahaaa x. band = RUFiO... x. holiday = X-MAS, bdays... and the food during thanksgiving is gooood... mmmm... x. cars = jeep wrangler... have you... x. ever cried over a guy = o yes... x. ever lied to someone = hellllssss yes... x. ever been in a fist fight = haaa kinda... x. ever been arrested = nope... what... x. shampoo do you use = ummm... finese?? x. cologne do you use = none x. shoes do you wear = my chucks!! (my babies) x. are you scared of = ummm being alone... having people hate me... losing some people... number... x. of times I have been in love?: probably only once... maybe twice... x. of times I have had my heart broken?: once... that sucked... ::sigh:: x. of hearts I have broken?: y r u asking me this question??? ask my exs lol... x. of continents I have lived in?: just this one!!! x. of drugs taken illegally?: none x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: ummm... lemme see... probably about... 7... maybe a couple more... i dont quite know... thats a toughy... x. of people I consider my enemies?: ummm not enemies... just ppl i cant stand... like 15 lol... x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with?: still there lol... x. of cd's that I own?: awww jeeze... tooooo many... x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: i dunno lol... x. of scars on my body?: oooo... many... hmmm... x. of things in my past that I regret?: hmmmm... a fucking lot... i think... but i know id be different if i undid a lot of those things... but still... Yes or No x. You keep a diary: kinda? x. You like to cook: heh heh... depends on what the food is... x. You exercise regulary: heh heh... not really... unless its a sport season for muah... x. You sketch while you are on the phone: sometimes... x. You have read a book in the past week: hahaaa just part of macbeth... but i had to... x. You replace the toilet-paper roll immediately: lol yes!!! it pissses me off!!! no one else does... x. You like crossword puzzles: kinda... x. You have visited the Eiffel Tower: nope x. You have a secret you have never shared with anyone: ummm... probably... x. You wait until the last minute to fill your car up with gas.: dun have a car... but def will... x. You snore: not that i know of! x. You have been to your ancestor's homeland: nope x. You read in the bathroom: heckies yes lol x. Being sick is a vacation: i think so... x. You often have people over at your house: sometimes... x. You like America: AMERICA RULESSSS... sometimes lol... x. You can remember jokes: yea x. you play cards: yea... poker night!!! hahaaa there was never a poker night 2! lol x. You fold your underwear: yea... unless i'm in a rush... x. You talk in your sleep: sometimes... x. You eat fast: lol sometimes! x. You recycle small batteries: ummm... no? x. You often avoid paying full price: heh heh yea! x. You like being on the phone: depends on who i'm talking to.. but yea! x. you shave regularly: yea x. You a few minutes ahead: hahaaa bloody likely... x. You are always late: mmmm x. You often get headaches: yuppers x. you smoke : nopers x. A naked photo of you exists: umm not that i know of! lol... minus baby pics... aka my journal icon! lol x. You can whistle: yeseri x. You write letters regularly: nope but i realllllly should... my korean pen pal probably thinks i died... x. You believe in destiny: i dunnno... x. You brush your teeth three times a day : lol ony twice! x. You have something you wish to confess: i dunno... depends on who i'm talking to... x. You change your bed sheets weekly: umm nope... am i supposed to?? lol x. You bite your fingernails: yes! god damn the bad habit! x. You have eaten in a restaurant alone: i think so... x. You have gone to a movie alone: ummm maybe? x. You have taken a vacation alone: nope x. You read the newspaper everyday: usually the sports section, comics, and tv lol... x. You have not used hair dryer in the past five years: not like an actual... dry all my hair, hair dry... x. have made love in an airplane: nope, cant say i have... x. You have hit your father or mother in anger: yup... probably got hit back... lol x. When you think you have done something wrong, you are quick to apologize: not usually it depends on who it is and if i feel bad... and if i care whether or not they're mad at me... x. You lose control in heated arguments: sometimes... x. In the morning when your alarm clock sounds, you get out of bed immediately: not at all... it goes offf about 20 times... x. You drank mothers milk: what kinda question is that? x. You generally save letters and postcards: yes! x. You hate parties: not at all... x. You have stolen money from your parents: i dun think so... x. You have fired a gun: a bb gun at camp!!! heh heh floyd was wicked hot! ey sharon? x. You often have the last word: mmmhmmm... i suck... x. Less is more: depends... x. You give money to homeless people: not that i know of... x. Money has influenced your character: i dunno x. You know who you are: haaa... does neone??? x. You enjoy being photographed: not really... x. Life treats you well: ehh sometimes... but sometimes it fucking gives u shit.. on a happy note lol... plans for friday r no longer in session... bummmmer... i was wicked excited!!! lol... soon soon...

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Time: 8:57 am. Mood: awake. Music: incubus - warning.

yesterday i did a lot of nothing til about 4... then i took a shower... then i went out to get food and a movie... then i came home, my parents left... went to dunkins w/ andy... came home... then took a nice walk w/ janelle... now i'm confused... bc i've had certain situations brought up to me by 3 different people in the past like 4 months... the situations all fall on the same line... but i don't know what to say about them... and what to do about them... and what r u doing w/ your life?!?!? thats not what people are supposed to do... AKA ITS ILLEGAL!!!

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

Subject: she swore that she could explain.... both knew her words were in vain... Time: 11:36 am. Mood: rejuvenated. Music: pedro the lion - bad diary days.

yesterday was a lot of fun... school was ok... history test wasn't that bad.... but the multiple choice was confusing... math was good... got to talk to maggie and lindsay... but then i got mad in the end bc i realized that i get blamed for stuff and its wicked stupid... but i dont know how to make that not happen... esp when i havent done NEthing... cool cool... english was funny cause the sub was nuts... band = band... nothing there... then after school, after the class meeting, chandler and i walked downtown and went to visit lindsay (pagely) at her work... i had a lot of fun... cam, dillon, and jeff carlton were there too... lindsays wicked cool and i had a lot of fun w/ everyone else... heeheee cam was reading cosmo and asking us all this stuff... it was funny... then cam and i walked back to school and we talked... it was cool... football game was pretty good... learning to make the best out of a stupid thing lol... which is good bc i end up having fun that way... after the football game i went to friendlys w/ like everyone lol... such quality food... lol then joe (dube), lexie (kalil), leah, phil, doug, cam, liz (strauss), and i went to dougs moms house... heeheee that was lots of fun... got home around 12:15... heheeee... and i slept well last night! waahooooo... the only time i've gotten to sleep in in like the past month... i woke up at 5:30 sneezing uncontrolably lol... but then went back to sleep and didnt wake up til 11:15.. sweeet... i wanna make plans tonight... actually do something fun on the weekend... but i dunno what yet... i think i'm supposed to hang out w/ maggie maybe? and lindsay too? i dunno... whatever... toooooodles!!

Comments: help me! help me!... (very tiny squeaky bug voice from the emperors new groove).

LiveJournal for Vanessa. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.