Mike of Cold Fury is on a roll today, saying it like it is and whacking the French about with the ClueBat™ so ferociously that there's stale fromage splattered all over the walls.And because of all this, I'm starting a new category archive for CF posts today: Our Enemies. I've had the "Our Allies" category for a good while now, and have usually (but not always, I should say) used it as a sarcastically-monikered catchbin for items relating to those who are our "allies" in name solely because of the insistence in some quarters for clinging fiercely to the old post-WW2 world order. But I think as of now that it's time to start calling a spade a spade, an obstructionist an obstructionist, and a guileful quisling a guileful quisling.
And read the rest too, 'tis a thing of beauty.
Mike is right, of course. There is absolutely no reason do dally about anymore, pretending that the sky is pink and that pigs can fly. So, in view of this, we do hereby declare that The Anti-Idiotarian Empire, beginning on this the 10th day of February that saw an act of outright betrayal by certain former nation states' refusal to defend an allied country in times of danger, the year of our Lord 2003, considers itself to be in a State of War with the countries of the Axis of Weasel, they being France, Belgium and Germany.
They will henceforth be referred to unambiguously as "the Enemy" and are to receive the same contempt, derision and scorn that we would heap upon Iraq, which country the Axis of Weasel have clearly demonstrated today that they consider themselves allied with.
All diplomatic and economic ties with these pariahs should be severed forthwith until such time as they inevitably surrender (the French most likely sometime today, right after supper).
When you, in the near future, find yourselves isolated and shut off from the new alliance we shall create with your neighbors, kindly remember that you brought this upon yourselves and that you will receive all the sympathy and pity of your plight that you deserve, which is nothing at all.
And when you, inevitably, turn upon each other when you don't have us to hold your hands anymore and come to us for help again, let us pray that we remember this and tell you, loud and clear to:
GO PISS UP A FRICKIN' ROPE!
Now go die as you so richly deserve!
Well, it's right here, and it's Thinking Meat too, so what're ya waitin' for?
The author is the notorious E. Nough, known for his "You Might Be An Idiotarian If..." as well as his fake news article about Zionist Occupation of Outer Space that was picked up as fact by Ha'aretz.
And that's just to mention a small FRACTION of his wit.
From today's CNN Headlines:France blocks NATO war planning
They filled up the Situation Room with all the white sheets and napkins that they keep in preparation for a possible war. Going to take FOREVER to get the crap out of there!BRUSSELS, Belgium (CNN) -- NATO was holding an emergency meeting Monday in the wake of the decision by France, Germany and Belgium to block military planning to protect Turkey in the event of war against Iraq.
Well, they DO have a proud history of doing all they can to prevent the defense of NATO allies, don't they?
Thanks to the Angry Clam, I've discovered this wonderfully cool website, the official website of the Texas Dept. of Justice, Death Row Division.
Expect regular postings on this subject in the future.
For now, we're happy to announce that Henry Earl Dunn, received on Death Row on 10/11/95 for the brutal murder of 23-year-old Nicholus West, was sent off to roast in Hell this past Thursday night.
Mr. West was shot several times by Mr. Dunn with a .357 for the "offense" of being gay.
Mr. Dunn can now look forward to being sodomized a couple dozen times a day by Lucifer's favorite Demon, known to other Demons as "Studmuffin" or "Sexfiend".
Goodbye, Dunn, and enjoy Hell.
Saddam Hussein recently did the Iraqi State of the Cesspool address and Sir Bill Cimino snatched the transscript before the Super Special Upgraded Republican Guard (Now With Added Calcium) could stop him.
What're ya waiting for? Go read it, dammit!
Rarely ever do I stoop as low as to rip off something posted on another site, but this cartoon was just so deliciously appropriate that I HAD to.
My apologies to American Realpolitik, whose "Morning Comics" are Imperial Required Daily Reading™.
I will now go flog myself.
Well. Rod Dreher at the very least has quite a few words for the members of the clergy out there who feel that it is their Christian duty to protect murdering dictators.
As far as I'm concerned, priests are just as entitled to have a political opinion as anybody else but it behooves them, in a SECULAR society, to refrain from using their authority as church leaders to promote their political views.
As a matter of fact they're hijacking my Christian faith just as much as the mad mullahs are hijacking Islam and they should be treated with the same contempt.
(Link thanks to Imperial Chief Torturer B.C.)
And the fix results are IN!
Go read the results here at Right Wing News, who was kind enough to do all the work with mailing judges, counting up the results and posting them to his always excellent blog.
I should also add that I'm posting this for the simple reason that John asked me to, it has nothing to do with the fact that yours truly has been voted
Most Bloodthirsty Blog (HAH, Michele!, getting soft, are ya? ;) )
and
Best Fisker™
and
Tied for 11th in Best Blog Overall!
(No, I was a judge and I didn't get to vote for myself, not that I'd ever sink as low as to do such a thing, of course)
I'm deeply honored, not only by these prestigious titles that I'll be bragging about for, well, a year at least, but most of all because of the excellent company I'm in.
I never in my wildest dreams expected to see the name of either myself or this humble blog mentioned in the same breath as those bright shining stars upon the Firmament of Internet Punditry.
Am I full of myself?
You BETCHA I am! Wouldn't YOU be?
Well... You should be, for each and every one of you have a huge hand in it. I couldn't have done it without your support, input and encouragement.
Seems the Administration isn't yet quite done sucking up to the UN and trading away our sovereignty for a few more meaningless gestures from an impotent, incompetent, dictator-enabling and supporting, unelected body of fuckwits:Britain and America are drawing up plans to give Saddam Hussein as little as 48 hours to flee Baghdad or face war, if UN weapons inspectors report this week that the Iraqi dictator is still refusing to disarm fully.
The proposals will form the framework of a long-awaited second resolution, which could be put before the Security Council by next weekend. Bravo, Dubya, or should we rename you George the Milquetoast already?
I have absolutely HAD it with this Administration's shameful toadying to the UN, the Fermans and the Grench. It's not like it will achieve anything useful anyway, so we're trading our credibility as a superpower as well as a nation supposedly dedicated to defending her citizens for a pat on the back from a body that would love nothing more than to see us reduced to radioactive ashes?
Shape the FUCK up, Dubya, you limp-wristed linguini-spined fucknugget, or ship the Hell OUT, because you sure as Hell ain't doing anything to uphold your oath with all of this meaningless waffling! What's worse, you're placing 280 million of us in mortal danger with every second you wait and I will hold you PERSONALLY responsible for every American civilian that gets murdered as a result!
Spineless snotweasel!
OK, I'll go mutter a whole series of swear words now, then I'll bang my head against the wall for half an hour.
In the meantime, please visit Imperial Governor Arthur who alerted me to this development and is every bit as pissed off about it as am I.
It never ceases to amaze His Imperial Highness how the word "racism" only applies to harassment of certain groups of officially approved oppressed minorities.
Here's a first hand report from a Middle School in Boston (referred to in the following as "C"):My three young siblings attend middle school in the suburb of Quincy, as their previous Catholic school has gone down the shitter under the directionship of Sister Kkkatherine. ****** Middle School from here on to be referred to as "C") has provided much more of a challenge and better education than Sister Satanica.
However, the subject of racism is one not governed by non-Idiotarians at C. There is a large population of Chinese kids who attend C, and my siblings are friends with many of them. Unfortunately, many other Chinese students have been proven to be hideously prejudiced towards all students not of Cantonese descent. Many of them, especially the girls and boys in the 8th grade, refer to every white student as "white trash" and "crackers", and have a tendency to punch white students and spit on their lockers....all in front of teachers.
White students are not the only tormented by these kids.....they refer to students of Korean heritage as "Suk Dongs", the Vietnamese as "Napalm babies", and, perhaps the most insidious of all, the Cambodian children as "Skull kids" (I think its obvious what it references). Black students have reported being heckled by the Chinese during recess, the latter imploring the former to "run and jump" faster in the courtyard. I believe even the Iranian girl in my sister's 6th grade division has received nasty comments. The school administration, of course, deals with this with as much effort as it takes Michael Moore to incorporate facts into his "work."
My mother called to complain about a particular student--we'll call him "Mi-gat No Dong"--who was giving a hard time to my sister. The principal, and eventually the superintendent, saw absolutely no problem with Dong calling up my sister, imploring her to get on with his "Asian Sexation", and his calling her "Honky-ho" within the confines of the classroom. Why the school's tolerance of obvious sexual harrassment? Why, we need to be "sensitive" to the oh-so-fucking-fragile feelings of minority students, and they even suggested my sister attend a school-sponsored Chinese New Year's party in the gym last month (note: there were no Christmas or even Hanukkah parties....of course, the children were "not prevented" (read as: mandated) from attending a peaceful Islamic indoctrination presentation during the peaceful month of Ramadan).
Emperor, I heartily look forward to your edict in response to this travesty.I can only say the same that I always say when encountered with this sort of limp-dickedness displayed by so-called "teachers" and "principals":
Anybody who displays this kind of behavior should be the subject of severe disciplinary action up to and including immediate expulsion. If you harass, threaten, bully or otherwise terrorize your fellow students and ESPECIALLY on a basis as vile and disgusting as this, it is the principal's DUTY to step up to the plate and start batting Idiotarian skulls around. And I don't GIVE a flying fuck whether the perpetrator is a white supremacist or a gook racebaiter whose parents got here by paddling a bathtub across the Pacific using the bloodied stumps of their arms!
If the so-called "principal" isn't willing to do so, then the asswit needs to get his or her ass fired so quick the revolving doors at the welfare office will be spinning for a week after he flies through 'em!
This country is about equal rights for EVERYONE, not "equal" rights only for specially protected ethnic groups of individuals. And if the thimblewitted principal of "C" hasn't yet realized this, then there's this old document called the Constitution that spells it out quite clearly, clear enough so that even an otherwise unemployable retard such as this principal should be able to understand it.
As to the religious issues, I'm not surprised. It's a well known fact in this Idiotarian-infested once-great nation that "freedom of religion" means "freedom of religion, as long as it isn't Christianity" and I find it as disturbing as I find it disgusting.
(Thanks to Devoted Citizen Phadraig for the contribution)
Fermany and Grance have come up with yet another way to protect their friend Saddam and delay the discovery of these two countries' decade long support of the Butcher of Baghdad.MUNICH, Germany (Reuters) - Germany and France are working on a new plan to try to avert war in Iraq that would compel Baghdad to admit thousands of U.N. troops to enforce disarmament and tighter sanctions, a magazine said on Saturday.
This is known as trying to remedy a failure by repeating the same action over and over again. It is also the clinical definition of insanity.Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said he knew nothing officially of the proposal.
The Axis of Weasel haven't yet found a diplomat suicidal enough to present the proposal to the Don.Germany's leading news magazine Der Spiegel said the idea had originated in the office of Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder and Berlin and Paris had been working on the details of the initiative in secret talks since the beginning of the year.
"Quick, Gerhard, they're on to us!"
"Relax, Jacques, all we need to do is to come up with something that'll delay our friend Saddam's demise some more"
"Ah, but HOW? Sacre Bleu!"A German government spokesman confirmed Berlin and Paris were collaborating to find a peaceful alternative to war with Iraq, but would not provide any details of the efforts.
German government sources said the initiative built on proposals made by French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin this week to intensify weapons inspections in Iraq and offer French reconnaissance planes to support them.FRENCH reconnaissance planes? Will they even FLY? And why on EARTH would we want an enemy country to do the recon for us anyway?After talks with German Defense Minister Peter Struck in Munich, Rumsfeld said he had not been officially informed of the initiative. U.S. officials said it was "extraordinary" Rumsfeld had not been told of the plan.
"I heard about it from the press. No official word. I have no knowledge of it," Rumsfeld told journalists after the meeting with Struck on the sidelines of a major security conference.
A senior U.S. official said Rumsfeld had questioned Struck on reports of the proposal to beef up inspections in Iraq and the German side had confirmed they were talking to the French but were not ready to discuss the plan with the Americans.At this time, Secretary Rumsfeld reached inside his jacket and Struck immediately cowered, raising his hands and screaming "Bitte nicht schiessen!" at the top of his lungs. He subsequently had to be escorted from the room whimpering with fear while Secretary Rumsfeld was blowing his nose with the handkerchief he'd been reaching to get."We're now making the point to every Frenchman and German we find that that is not the way to have a winning hand with the United States," the official said.
Diplospeak for "y'all are about to have a HUGE can of whup ass opened on ya".
I just hope that Saddam doesn't manage to shred ALL of his files before we liberate them. Should be some interesting reading in there.
No, we're not dead yet, we just smell that way.
Actually, we decided to devote a Sunday to our Imperial Family, just to catch them off-guard ;)
But that hasn't kept the Imperial Talent Scouts from picking up yet another contribution to Blog-Pop™, this time it's the Singing Rabbi and his "Immaterial Bitch".
The only downside being that once you go there, you'll be unable to shake the damn song out of your skull again, but try a large hammer. It worked for me. Ow!
So here we are, caught in a war for our very existence, for the first time since the founding of our nation faced with a foreign threat and what are the networks babbling about?
Michael Jackson.
Gimme a friggin' break!
Michael richly deserves the nickname "Wacko Jacko" for abusing his children, wrapping them in veils and dangling them off balconies but, for crying out loud, would you guys at least TRY to dig up some actual evidence for his alleged sex abuse of kids in his bedroom before you start roasting him over a fire?
And don't get me wrong. If there IS any actual evidence of him sexually abusing kids, I'll be the one to bring the gasoline and the marshmallows, believe you me, but, to me at least, the FACT of him dangling an infant off a balcony and the FACT of him treating his kids as mutant aliens for his amusement is MORE than enough to deem him an unfit parent, there's NO need to waste my time with endless speculations about what his "having kids over for sleepovers" REALLY means.
I think it's SAD that our country has reached the point where you cannot hug your kid without idiots speculating that you might be shagging them on the side, because that should be the FURTHEST thing from any sane parent's mind.
And I think it even SADDER that clear, incontrovertible, recorded instances of child abuse are secondary to speculations about what goes on when nobody's watching.
There are PLENTY of legitimate reasons to question Michael Jackson's ability to be a father of anything, let alone children, he's a bona fide, certifiable whack job, but let's leave the witch hunt to the Spanish Inquisition, shall we?
The God of the Machine, Aaron Haspel, stumbled across another "poet" babbling about war and apparently got outraged at Sam Hamill's, er, poem:I have not been to Jerusalem,
but Shirley talks about the bombs.
I have no god, but have seen the children praying
for it to stop. They pray to different gods.
The news is all old news again, repeated
like a bad habit, cheap tobacco, the social lie.
The children have seen so much death
that death means nothing to them now.
They wait in line for bread.
They wait in line for water.
Their eyes are black moons reflecting emptiness.
We've seen them a thousand times.
Soon, the President will speak.
He will have something to say about bombs
and freedom and our way of life.
I will turn the tv off. I always do.
Because I can't bear to look
at the monuments in his eyes.We personally can't see where the outrage comes from. These are the most moving words to come out of Iraqi Children in a long time. The courage required of an Iraqi child to speak thus of Saddam boggles the mind, however.
Loyal Citizen Jody sends us this dispatch from a foxhole deep behind enemy lines. We have yet to confirm the source, but it sounds plausible, so we'll go ahead and publish it:Today, Libya's foreign minister expressed the countries outrage for comments made by U.S. Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, that linked Libya in the same group as Germany.
"We are not pacifist weasels like Germany. In fact, we like war, but not this war. How dare he compare us to Germany!!" he shouted.
After a few moments he more calmly explained their opposition to the war. "You see, we already have the $2 Billion from Saddam for his exile and we fear an attack will force him to take up the offer for exile. We don't want him here? We would prefer him dead and if the U.S. could guarantee this we would wholeheartedly support this war. Now that you understand our position, please, please, please do not compare us to Germany." We understand Mr. Khaddafi's outrage and would like to extend our Imperial Apology to the head of the UN Commission on Human Rights for this unfair comparison.
Dave Matthews, Idiotarian nobody with a guitar, decides to present us with his mind-dazzlingly brilliant insights on the War.
Allen Prather has already done an admirable job of cutting down the twit a couple miles or so, but we thought it only proper to finish the job of digging him a tunnel to China:I hope this letter finds you all well and that in these uncertain times you find moments to be joyful.
Inasmuch as a hearty, derisive laugh can be considered a source of joy, I have a feeling that you're about to provide me with some, pop-boy.I want to speak my mind about this war with Iraq,
Oh goody. Shouldn't take too long, then.or I will choke on my conscience.
Then again, don't exert yourself needlessly on my behalf. It'll be a tragic loss, but I'm sure I'll persevere.What is the motivation? Regime change? Shouldn't that be up to the people of the region and the people of Iraq?
Certainly it should. Have you heard of the concept of "democratic elections" in between huffs on your bong?
Neither have the Iraqi people.The only real threat from Saddam Hussein is to his neighbors and none of them support a U.S. invasion.
They seem to do these days, unless you flunked out of Geography as well, which I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised to learn that you did.Is it to stabilize the Middle-East? Wouldn't it only do the opposite by causing further death and suffering in a country that has had more than its share?
So let's give 'em some more of the same by leaving the bastard who caused it in power.
The Ways of the Idiotarian "Mind".Is it to weaken Al Qaeda? Saddam Hussein is a genocidal maniac but he is not Al Qaeda.
Oh. Sorry 'bout that. He's only a genocidal maniac. Our mistake. I'm typing in the order for the Imperial Troops to pull back this very instant.He is certainly more visible though.
For the time being. Soon he'll be as impossible to find as the smear of rotted protein that used to go by the name of Osama bin Laden.Is he our target because he is easier to identify than the illusive terrorist network?
Yep. He just happened to be there, out in the open where we could see him. That's it. Oh, and he's a genocidal maniac sitting on top of the single most important import of this country.
I know that you, being nothing but a semi-literate a songsmith, have no idea at all when it comes to the concept of "destroyed economy", so let us put it in simpler terms for you: How many of your crappy CDs do you think you'd be able to sell if gas was $50.00 a gallon?Surely it is more likely that an attack on Iraq would only strengthen Al Qaeda by feeding Anti-American sentiment. Putting out the fire with gasoline, so to speak.
If you'd stayed in Physics 101 for five more minutes instead of skipping class to score another reefer, you might've known that that actually works, as long as you use enough gasoline.
Your analogy still sucks, though. A more correct one would be if you said "putting out a candle with a kiloton of TNT".It is certainly not to liberate the people of Iraq who suffer under Hussein's rule,
Why of course it's not, since you say so, oh Enlightened One.unless we call killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqis liberation.
Trust me, my dimwitted young Padawan, if our goal was to kill "hundreds of thousands of Iraqis", we could've achieved our goal in less than an hour. We certainly wouldn't have had to build up our forces for a year and a half.Saddam Hussein is a barbaric murderous dictator.
...and a genocidal maniac. It's odd how Hell-bent you are on protecting him, isn't it?I wish the world were free of him.
...as long as we don't actually DO anything to make it so, of course. You don't live in Iraq, after all, so why the Heck should YOU care?But the answer is not to bomb this great culture of Iraq out of existence to stop him.
"Come see the Seven Shrouds of Death, thrill to the sizzling of the Acid Baths of Baghdad, laugh out loud at the Rape Houses of Basra and giggle with excitement at the Childrens' Prisons of Mosul".
Great copy, dickhat.Why must the children of Iraq die by the thousands to stop a tyrant?
Why must The Children™ of Iraq die by the tens of thousands at the hand of a tyrant while we sit idly by, singing "Kumbaya" to make him stop?It is not justice.
It surely isn't. And that's why we're going to put an end to it, whether you and your Idiotarian Maniac Enablers like it or not.And if we kill him what will we achieve?
Nice and Crispy Saddam-On-A-Stick™?We will have taken the most unpopular leader in the Middle East and turned him into the greatest martyr radical Islam has ever had.
I think some of the earlier martyrs of Islam might take slight offense at that utterance of yours. Your friends might just issue a Fatwah on your ass if you keep it up.
And yes, just as we now see hordes of Muslim youth flocking to put their eyes out and put on turbans to emulate their hero, Mullah Omar, I'm sure that we'll see a groundswell of support for Saddam emerging from the ashes of his regime.The U.N. weapons inspectors must be allowed to do their job thoroughly
Would you mind telling Saddam that? 'Cause he doesn't seem to be listening much these days.and any military action should be internationally agreed upon.
I must have missed that part of the Constitution and I can guarantee you that I was doing my best to pay attention.We must not allow our government to turn us into a rogue nation.
...but you have no problem demanding that our government allow some Middle Eastern, barbaric murderous dictator and genocidal maniac, to quote your own words, to turn our cities into radioactive ash?
Good to see you've got your priorities straight, junkie-boy. Now go play your guitar s'more before you feel tempted to participate when the grownups talk again.I fear that our true motivation is about oil and our own flailing economy; about the failure to destroy Al Qaeda and about revenge.
So our true motivation is to protect our nation's life blood, to further our pursuit of the same Al-Qaeda that murdered 3,000 of our countrymen and to make sure that they didn't die in vain?
Works for me.
What's YOUR problem, frat-boy?It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civilians on the line for the misguided frustrations of the Bush administration.
Having BEEN a serviceman myself I can assure you that there's nothing "criminal" about being asked to do your job, which is to protect your nation and your fellow civilians, dangers be damned. We knew those dangers when we signed up, you know. No, you DON'T know, and the likes of you will NEVER know.Bottom line: this war is wrong and this war is un-American.
Peacefully submitted,
Dave MatthewsThe only thing un-American here is YOU, you lily-livered little coward. You'd be herding goats or worse if it wasn't for true Americans and you ought to try and appreciate that a little.
But you know something that IS American?
The fact that I and people like me are willing to die to protect the right for asshats like you to do whatever you want and pursue happiness in any way you want.
Because in any of the countries you support, you'd be long dead.
Think about it.
Whereas the original concept of "Fisking", to the best of our Imperial Knowledge, requires the "Fisker" to quote every line of the "Fiskee"'s "Fisked" article.
Whereas potential "Fiskees" tend to repeat themselves and, in particular, repeat tired old Idiotarian memes that have been debunked time and time again.
Whereas many an aspiring and existing "Fisker" get tired of repeating the same old debunks over and over again.
We hereby, by Imperial Decree and gracious donation of the term by Loyal Imperial Citizen Bill H, coin the following term:
Henceforth, a "partial" "Fisking", in which the "Fisker" does NOT quote the full original content, choosing instead to respond to only particularly interesting parts of the original, yet stays true to the time-honored, noble and true traditions of "Fisking", they being inclusive of, but not limited to, the requirements of pithiness and, most of all, links to the original for the purposes of "Fact Checking the Fisker's Ass", shall be known, NOT as a "Fisking", as it would be misleading and devalue the original term and the proud legacy thereof, but as a
"FISKETTE".
This Decree being duly signed on this the 8th day of the month of February, the year of our Lord 2003.
Emperor Misha I.
Remember the "smoking gun" (oh how I hate that expression ever since it's been turned into a sick joke by our lame-stream "media") about the Al-Qaida twit bragging about the shooting of a US diplomat?
Of course you do.
And I'm not in the least bit surprised to see more ties between Iraq and Osama was Laden's turbaned sand lice, what concerns me is why the FUCK have we been fiddling with our balls for all of this time if we've had evidence like that?
Texsanity agrees and puts it better than I could:This was LAST OCTOBER what in the hell are we waiting for.
How much more evidence do you need? Saddam was behind, through Al-Qaida proxies, the execution of an American diplomat. He tried to execute a former President of the United States.
Perhaps I'm just stupid...not sophisticated enough. But in my world, if you engage in these action it means war. I don't go to the UN Security Council and ask the fucking French for permission to defend my countrymen. If I were the POTUS, hostilities would commence as soon as I could explain the case to the country and mobilize. And after we laid waste to the first country that had the temerity to assassinate one of our diplomats, I bet the next Saddam wannabe would think twice about even TALKING to a group that harbored those kinds of plans.
If you look the other way and ignore these things it guarantees that they will happen with increasing frequency. I don't care about grievances or root causes, if you execute an American you'd better kiss your sweet ass goodbye because we are gonna come down on you with the full force of the greatest military power in the history of man.
And that is the way it should be.Damn STRAIGHT that's the way it SHOULD be!
And, if I were C-in-C, that's the way it WOULD'VE been!
The moment I'd gotten that intercept, I'd have sent an immediate ultimatum to Saddam, giving him four hours to comply fully with my demands, no arguments, no consultations, just HEEL, BOY!
And if he hadn't at the end of four hours, there'd be almighty Hell raining from the sky for a few hours, then a repeat of the demand. Rinse, lather, repeat.
Instead we've been dilly-dallying courting the French, sucking up to the Vermans and taking it from behind from the UN for over a year.
Pardon me, but that's not the way to create respect, Mr. President.
It's quite simple, really:
You kill an American, you're dead. Now. Not later. Not after consultations. Not after negotiations. Now.
Get in the way of our justice, you're dead too. Now. Not later. Not after asking the UN nicely for permission to uphold the Constitution. Now.
A few of those lessons and they'll get the message. They may not like us for it, but I honestly don't give a damn. It's not our C.-in-C.'s job go get everybody to love us, it's his job to friggin' PROTECT us.
Let them hate us, as long as they fear us too.
Sounds dirty? Good.
It's also a delightful read. Now go on and read Brent's wonderful Fisking of the Birdbrained Broads of Byron Bay.
I've been promising to write one of these for a while now, wondering how to go about posting it, and finally decided to just put it up as a post with a permalink to it on the sidebar.
Q: What's with all the nasty language on this blog?
A: What the fuck business of yours is that?
Q: No, seriously.
A: This is NOT a Family Oriented blog. I happen to LIKE colorful invective and I'm incredibly sick and tired of the PC society we've created in which you have to guard your every word for fear that you might upset somebody and hurt their wittle feewings.
Q: But don't you CARE about other's feelings?
A: On my bandwidth and on my dime? Not in the least. Nobody's forcing anybody to read my tripe if they don't like it. Go hug a tree or something.
Q: I'm a Muslim and I'm offended at the way you make fun of Allah. Wouldn't you be hurt if I made fun of Jesus?
A: I'm sure that if Jesus is offended, he's QUITE capable of taking care of the problem Himself. In that case, you might want to carry around a portable lightning rod, just in case.
Q: You're just saying that because you're an atheist, right?
A: No I'm not. I'm a Christian. I've also got a sense of humor (and am currently praying that He does as well)
Q: But I get the impression that you're against all Muslims when you ridicule Islam?
A: I'm not. I'm against the Muslims that interpret the Quran to mean that it's their holy duty to beat women and kill everybody who don't believe in their interpretation of G-d.
Q: So you're not saying that Islam is evil?
A: Absolutely not. There's nothing inherently evil in Islam, just as there's nothing inherently evil in Christianity. That didn't keep Torquemada and his Merry Band of Inquisitors from behaving like utter shitheels, though. Same with Islam today.
Q: So why do you always use the term "Religion of Peace" when referring to Islam?
A: Primarily to stress the difference between the Wahhabi Religion of Murder and Islam as such and also to illustrate the absurdity of calling their viral strain of Islam "peaceful" in any shape, form or fashion.
Q: But don't you realize that somebody might misunderstand this and many other statements to mean that you're just a garden variety bigot?
A: Why do you think I'm writing this FAQ?
Q: I still think you should leave Allah out of it.
A: Listen. Go make a joke about Jesus in my comments if it makes you feel better. If it's a good joke, I might even give it its own post.
Q: I'm just upset at all the profanity on your blog.
A: Give me one good explanation why you're still reading it, then.
Q: But what about The Children™?
A: Listen, if you think that The Children™ are likely to pick up any bad words around here that they haven't heard a hundred times worse already, then you seriously need to start taking an interest in your kids!
Q: I think it's wrong for you to talk about pounding somebody's head into a pulp just because you disagree with them.
A: I think it would be a damn sight worse if I were ever to actually DO it instead of just talking about it.
Q: But don't you realize that you might make somebody act out your words in real life?
A: Been listening to Metallica backwards lately, have you?
Q: No, I mean, seriously!
A: If somebody's already sick enough to commit murder over a disagreement, I'm sure they don't need me inciting them to do so.
Q: Don't you believe that obscenities and insults inhibit rational discourse?
A: No. I DO believe, however, that setting up arbitrary and ever-changing "rules" for how you can express your opinion sooner or later renders discourse meaningless and vapid.
Q: You're an arrogant asshat!
A: Yes.
Q: Didn't that make you feel angry and demeaned?
A: No. Try harder, you tepid tank of tumblefuckedness.
Q: I think you just made me cry.
A: Good.
Q: Is this the end of the FAQ?
A: Might as well be, it's too long already.
Mary McDreary has finally come around and given us her blessing to commence the Imperial Asskicking of the Moustachio'ed Mumblefuck of Tikrit.
At least, she seems to have, with reservations. And weaseling. But that's about the best you can expect from somebody with the cerebral capacity of a soggy Cheerio, so we'll take it in lieu of an honest endorsement.
Not that we gave a shit what this moonbat was shrieking about the War, but if even card-carrying Idiotarians such as her are coming around, then surely that's a good sign, isn't it?
If she did so because she thought she'd get on the good side of our Imperial Fiskers, we love to be the one to disappoint her by pointing out that John Bono doesn't play that weaselly little game.
From the wondrous world of Fun Moments In Journaljism via Charles Austin:.
American teenagers rank higher than the Germans in all three subjects despite studies that found one in 10 young Americans cannot find his country on a blank map of the world.
Actually, TWO comments, the first one being that, knowing the sad state of our Socialist Indoctrination Gulags "educational" system, this is seriously BAD news for the Germans. I've had dogs that could outdo our current generation of teens on an SAT with one paw tied on their backs.
The other being that I have to admit that I, too, would be hard put to find ANYTHING on a "blank map", other than, er, lots of blank space.
Then again, I could hammer it on to a pole and sell it to the French to use as a flag.
Do newspapers employ proofreaders anymore or is that, along with journalistic integrity, a thing of the past?
Seems the "International Court of Justice" (remind me of the next time these assclowns are up for election and I MIGHT take them seriously) are huffing and puffing over us Barbarian Texans refusing to obey our betters. The Roto-Reuters, of course, are more than happy to provide them with a place to vent.
Guess they're going to scowl at us some more [shudder].HOUSTON (Reuters) - An unrepentant Texas said on Thursday it would ignore a World Court order demanding it stay the executions of two Mexicans,
The day I see a "repentant" Texan is the day I get my shit together in preparation for The Rupture, because that one HAS to be the last of the Signs of the End Days.
You might want to explain to us why we should be "repentant" about following our own laws, put in place by legislators that we ourselves have elected. You might also go piss up a rope. Both are equally likely to make us change our minds.a decision likely to create more friction between the United States and its allies over capital punishment.
Oh no, more pictures of half-nekkid filthy hippies demonstrating in EUnuchland that we have to work to avoid accidentally watching.The International Court of Justice at The Hague on Wednesday ordered the U.S. to stay the executions of three Mexicans and reserved the right to intervene in dozens of other cases.
"...The messenger was unceremoniously told to fuck off along with the limp nag that he rode in on, not to mention not even THINKING about littering our beautiful State with his crappy writ"."According to our reading of the law and the treaty, there is no authority for the federal government or this World Court to prohibit Texas from exercising the laws passed by our legislature," said Gene Acuna, a spokesman for Texas Gov. Rick Perry. The state is by far the nation's death penalty leader.
Yep, we sure are. You might want to stop and think about that as well as our "Don't Mess With Texas!" motto before you send any more of your empty suits over here, inviting us to open a good ol'fashioned Texas-sized can of Whup-Ass on them.
There's another saying popular around here when candy-assed shitweasels who're all hat and no cattle traipsy on down here to make ridiculous claims:
"You and what army"?
You might want to consider that one too, y'hear?
(Link thanks to the inimitable Charles Austin, to whom we now owe another Imperial Beer for the heads up)
This from Ha'aretz via LGF:Police sappers detonated Thursday night an explosive belt found in a Taibeh mosque, just hours after arresting two Islamic Jihad militants on their way to carry out a suicide bombing in Israel.
Sharon region police found the belt, which had 15 kilograms of explosives attached, in the mosque's toilet and sappers worked for hours to remove the belt from the mosque, to avoid any damage to the building. Looks to us like the shit was REALLY about to hit the fan with that one!
"Who blowed up da potty?"
"Poop Your Way To Paradise"
"Worshippers Covered In Holy Shit As Mosque Potty Blows Up"
The possibilities are endless...
At least if you live in the Socialist People's Republic of Kalifornia.
Cal State Fresno is organizing a nice little get-together for known domestic terrorists and you, the taxpayer, are lucky enough to get to pay for it. Imperial Governor Arthur is on the case.
Let's hear it for the Socialist Fuckwits of Kalifornia, BANG!
