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Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
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7:26 pm - UGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
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I'm in a bad mood......... *pouts* Anyone wanna cheer me up? Strippers would be greatly appreciated but not a forced issue. *LOL*
current mood: tired current music: the sounds of Nintendo
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(6 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Saturday, May 4th, 2002
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10:31 pm
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Ever wonder about how you got here? To this place, I mean. Not physically but mentally. A state of mind where you find yourself today. Some place that maybe you didnt think you would be. A place that you could never imagine yourself being at without some motivation from an outside source. That place is today. A breath. A moment in time. A brief second in time. This is forever. Now in a moment you have the time to reflect on how you got here. So please tell me, how did you get here?
Do you ever take a moment out of your busy schedule to think about that one person that changed your life forever? A person that is only in your life for a brief second. Then they are taken away. What about that sunset that made you think. Really think. Deeply. Maybe it was a movie, a song or a poem. Something changed you.
People walk in and out of our lives so easily. Things happen so quickly that we dont even notice them happening, half the time. These brief encounters with people or situations never seem to cross our minds at the time of impact. Impact. Something that changes you, the way you see the world or they way you live in this life. Yet, they do. They change us forever. Sometimes we dont see it for days, months, years, and sometimes we never see the impact. On us. Our life.
But what happens when your eyes open? Your proverbial slumber has been awakened. Now you see things truely. No longer needing your rose colored glasses to view everything around you. You think about the impact. It scares you. You let a moment in time go by so easily. It has effected you so deeply and now you cant go back to change it. It scares me, too.
Now we just have to recognize that moment of impact. We have to be able to spot it so we can hold on to it. That one moment in time that will change us forever. So from now on, when I see that impact happening, I will hold on to it. A fresh impact. And I will keep it close to my heart and in my mind. For someday, somehow, it will change me and the life I am living. Now I just have to train my eyes, mind and heart to catch it before it is too late. Think. Capture. Secure. This impact must be recognized. It is the only way to grow.
current mood: nostalgic
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(3 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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6:32 pm - The grades are in
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Well, this the first weekend of my new life as Mrs. Kelly and all is going well. We had a great time last night and the fun hasn't stopped yet. Big plans for tonight!!!
But, I just had to get online and flash my pride at everyone. Not just because of my new marriage, but also because the grades are in for the semester!!! Yes it is true, you can't fight the final grade. And my Spring 2002 GPA is officially a ........ 3.66 !!!! Yes f*ing way... I am way hyped and sooo proud. I waited so long to go back to school and I am just happy to do well. *sigh of relief* I am sorry that the semester is over... however, way leads to way, thus my pretties, way is soooo coming!!! Ohhh!! I am completely happy.
Doin' the butt dance
current mood: rejuvenated
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(3 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Friday, May 3rd, 2002
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3:11 pm - Unbelievable
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No really, it is true... we did it. We tied the knot. I was really scared but it was a really beautiful union. We bought matching wedding bands and went all out. We are going on a mini-celebration tonight. First to a quite, romantic dinner, dancing and then the beach til dawn. This weekend is still a coin toss. Since it will be CINCO DE MAYO, we want to do something nice and latino. Sea World has Viva La Musica this weekend and we might do that. Who knows.
As for the blushing bride, well I am still nervous but completely happy. Joe and I have a lot in common; like a sick sense of humor. *EG* ...... One strange thing... his last name is Kelly.... basically a girls first name.... so now I have two first names.. so to speak. Oh well. You can't win them all. *laughs*
current mood: bouncy current music: The Wedding March
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(8 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Wednesday, May 1st, 2002
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3:14 pm - To all those ....... and then some
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I was watching a television show with no meaning at all, when the actress wrote notes to all those that made her mad, left her, died and the people she held a grudge against. *BOOM* I thought, man I should do that. TAaaaDAaaaa
George, I am mad at you for giving up on your child. You never gave any thought to her, her well being, mentally or physically. How could YOU go one day without calling let alone one year? I would have never had a child with you if I thought you would turn out this way; you are a dead beat dad. But now, I drop my grudge and leave you to lead a meaningless life without your daughter. I am happy that she has a father-like role model in her life now. And he cares for her, he takes care of her both mentally and physically, and that fills my heart with joy. So as my favorite artist wrote, "... ..knowing how way leads on to way." And your being invisible brought on a new, willing to be there, step father. I forgive you.
Mom & Dad, oh the grudges I hold against you guys. The times you made me feel bad, the times I felt I was never good enough... But now, I know I am worthy of love. Be it by you or by someone else. I see that you care, although you try so hard not to show it. I see how your life, bills, jobs and social activites are far more important than your children. I see it so clearly. But through God I can love you. And I cand see you love me; in your own way. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and I choose not to stay mad any longer. I love you.
Ya know, I don't feel much better.... yet
current mood: artistic
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(1 butterfly kiss | butterfly kiss me)
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9:12 am - Thank you
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A special thanks to blissfulbeamer, for without your help I would have never knew how to change my LJ. Yes I do believe I am a complete idiot after this incedent. I never even clicked on the FAQ before.
.:DOH:.
Thanks again!
current mood: embarrassed current music: Rapture
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(3 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Tuesday, April 30th, 2002
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4:16 pm - Bored? Go to Wal-mart
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Things to do at Wally-World (Wal_mart)
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
2. Put M&M;'s on layaway.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
6.Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
7. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
9. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
10. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you floss your teeth.
11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
13. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
14. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms.
15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
17. Sit on a chair and read a book for hours.
18. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
19. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. And last, but not least...
**** #21 ****. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
current mood: silly current music: Dirty Vegas
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(4 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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2:40 pm - Is there help out there?
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Hey if you can feed me some codes to change my LJ style, I will shamelssly promote you. LOL Well you know what I mean. I used to be able to do this HTMl sh*t but for some reason I can't remember crap. Oh well. I don't even know if I can change my LJ, b/c I am NOT a paid member?!?! Does that matter? Help.. I know you are out there...
current mood: confused
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(3 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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10:47 am - Tuesday ..... *sigh*
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I am getting ready to leave for my A&P; final... exciting I know, I can hardly contain my excitement... Hopefully, all will go well.
P.s. Did I mention it is like 100* here today?!?! *UGH* yuck yuck!
current mood: nervous
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(5 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Sunday, April 28th, 2002
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9:18 pm - Sunday gone..............
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I didn't do anything valuable to speak of today. Although I did do more laundry than any one person should be allowed to do in one time period. (UGH I am talking 6-8 loads) I am just trying to get everything ready if we have to move. Joe leaves for MEPS tomorrow, and he is kinda nervous. I can see it in his eyes. Plus he is being anal about packing. I am just glad he knows what to expect. He will be home Tuesday night with full details and possible orders in hand. I am praying that he gets Ft Eustis. We are really hoping to get DC area. It is just so much more convient in the long run.
*Sigh* Britt has a temp of 100.2*. Which I know is nothing to fear, but it kinda freaked me out since yesterday Joe said she coughed up something reddish. Umm reddish ? Was it blood? Was it food? Good lord son, what was it?!?! Well needless to say, he doesn't know. I am watching her very closely though. This is great practice for nursing eh?!?
I have an Anatomy & Physiology final on Tuesday. I will probably stay up tonight cramming for it. Although I had Joe quiz me and I had it down pat. But, this professor can be tricky and will sneak something totally off base into the test. I just know it!! *evil bothered face*
Ohhhh, I'm soooo tired. Probably from boredom and stress mixed together. Oh well 'tis life. Hope all my LJ people are having sweet dreams. (Think something dirty for me hehhehe) Luv Ya
current mood: sleepy current music: Eric Clapton - Unplugged
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( butterfly kiss me)
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| Saturday, April 27th, 2002
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11:10 am - Do what???
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After my usual routine of checking the mail after I get out of class on Friday afternoon, I found I had gotten a letter from my school asking me to pay my $25 graduation fee before May 1st.
1st : I am sooo not graduating this year!! LOL I just started back this year. 2nd : Does this mean my records are screwed up? Oh please God noooooo 3rd : I have to wait till Monday to get this straightened out. Geez I hate waiting.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Random Thought-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Remember when you were a kid and money was not the means but more like an everyday occurance? "Clean your room for a buck!" Woooo hoooo!!, I would think. But now, money is the 4 letter word I dare not utter. Money goes faster than one can make it. And if you are lucky enough to be able to save money, you have no money woes. Alas, I have money woes and woes and woes and woes..... I am not hatin' it, but damn it could be better.
Screw it, I am off to the Science Center for a Cinedome flick about stars, planets and how movement effects them.
current mood: nostalgic
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(6 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Friday, April 26th, 2002
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7:46 pm - New LJ Pic
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Not sure if this one will stick. It takes a lot for me to keep a pic around for more than a day. I think I will go tinker with it some more. Feel free to steal it and make it better for me. *wink*
Geez, sometimes I just hate myself in pictures. ARGHHHHH The joys of being a woman!
current mood: frustrated
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(3 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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3:32 pm - Just another manic .... friday?
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Geez does it soooo not feel like friday or what? I have been running around all day applying for jobs. I just need something till I find out if and when we are moving. Why is it that everyone has "NOW HIRING" signs out, yet no one is hiring? Is it this bad all over??
I dropped my summer and fall classes. Luckily I did it in time to not get drop charges. And where ever we move to, I will sign up for fall 2002 classes. Fun eh?
*J* goes to MEPS on monday, so I will be stuck at home, by my lonesome. (Hey I am think house party?!?! Wanna come over???)
Anywho, hopefully when *J* gets home on tuesday he will know everything in detail. If you know the military, you know anything can change, even last minute. Oh and don't forget the hurry up and wait routine!! LOL We are picking Ft Eustis as our 1st choice, and as for 2nd or 3rd, anything in VA or NC. I will let you know what happens.
Random thoughts:
- I hope Pam is ok. I feel so bad. I haven't seen her online lately, and when she writes, it doesn't sound good. Pam, if you are reading this, hope everything gets better soon.
(Doesn't that sound horrible? Get better? Why is it when you are down, people never sound sincere? Been there heard that.... ya know.... *sigh*)
- This German shooting thing is killing me. It is so sad to see the world going to sh*t..... Especially since I have a school age child, and it sacres the hell out of me. Children should not be doing this sort of stuff. No childs world should be so bad that he would resort to this behaivor. WHY???
- TLC and Left Eye: I was shocked to see it on the news that she died. Even though I must admit, she hasn't crossed my mind since the late 80's, early 90's or so. *sigh*
So much death ........ *stands alone, looking lost*
Another True Love? by Heathyre25
A heart so broken A tear drop shead Feelings of being Better off dead Another love gone Another lost friend Another true love That never made it To the end *sigh*
current mood: depressed current music: Dido
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(8 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
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11:54 am - Big News
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Well if you follow my post, you know that Joe lost his job last week. Sad but true. He has been doing interviews here and there but nothing good came up. For some reason, he went to the Army Recruiter. (BTW, Joe is prior service.) Anyway, they are taking prior service, which doesn't happen too often, and he took a position. He gets choice of post, CONUS. (Means you can choose any place inside the US!!)
The really BIG part: He came home and asked me to marry him. (He ask all the time so its no big deal.) But he didn't do it as normal, he asked me to go to City Hall and marry him tomorrow. (( No time to think huh? )) See he can't take me and my daughter with him unless we are married. I said.............. YES
The downfalls: 1. He owes the reserve money. He was overpaid for reserve time and they will take it back if he is a Government employee. 2. He WILL get deplyed. Let's face it, it is not over with Bin Laden. So I have to face the fact that he will get shipped off. 3. I have to get married tomorrow ?!?!!?!? (B/c they want to file the paperworl this week.)
The Pros: 1. Free insurance. I have been off of Tricare for 2 yrs now. (I was covered under my ex.) So I have been dealing with all my aches & pains with no meds. Hated. 2. The travel: My ex & I didn't get to travel with the Marine Corp. We went from FL to SC. That's it. We stayed in SC the whole time. Hell, Joe will go all over and I know he will request a move to Germany. He loved Germany and lived there for 3 yrs. Kinda cool. 3. I finally will be committed to him. I have put it off for a long time. Granted, I am scared, but it feels right.
I am afraid of all the things that happen when you are married to military men. (( NIK you remember!! ))
Soooo.... this is where I am at right now. Scared, shaking and totally HYPER.....
Told ya my life is never easy.
current mood: excited current music: Steely Dan
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(20 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Monday, April 22nd, 2002
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3:13 am - Pix
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| Saturday, April 20th, 2002
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6:45 pm - Did you do it too ??
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Did you spark up today for New Years? Lost? Today is pot smokers New Year. Yeah I know you needed to know that but Happy New Year to you bud buddies out there.
current mood: high current music: Cuase I got high
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(2 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Friday, April 19th, 2002
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9:24 pm - Just a shell of the real me
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Shiney, bright and new, all tied up with a bow of light blue. Pink strands dangle here and there, and polka dots dance in the air.
Sometimes, you just feel like a shiney, new box with nothing on the inside, nothing to hold the interest of people for more than a mere second. Or maybe that's just a me thing.
I haven't been able to spend much time online lately. I feel as though I have neglected my "net friends" and quite possibly pushed some away. I'm sorry, I really am sorry... I don't know anymore. So much is happening, so many bad things, and all at once. And for some odd reason, I just don't care. Actually I do care, it's just that I don't have the energy to care right now. I feel so completely drained. I hate this.
Maybe you would empathize if you knew, but dare I say the words aloud? I am afraid if I tell someone, everything will be true. And I won't wake up from this dream. A wretched dream. Nightmare. *sigh*
( Read more... )
current mood: scared
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( butterfly kiss me)
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| Thursday, April 18th, 2002
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7:51 pm - Have You Heard .....
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Jennifer Knapp ?? Wow I borrowed this cd from a friend, and I am addicted. My fav song is track #4 "Into You". If you are a download junkie, check it out.
On a slightly different note, finals are next week. So I am studying like a freak. (Well the freak part is all natural.) I am kind of scared. This was my first semester back in school and it wasn't that hard.
See that's just the thing; it wasn't hard. That scares me. My summer load is a biggie. What if my summer classes make me drop like a fly? *BOOM YOU"RE DEAD* I mean full time accelerated classes all summer long. And now I don't even know if I can go to school here anymore.
See Joe lost his job and now he wants to move. We talked about moving to VA or NC about 2 yrs ago and never did. But now we have the money to move and I am just too scared. (I am scared a lot.) I won't know anyone, I don't know where he and I would get jobs at, and lastly, I am scared dammit. Geez the whole reason for moving to FL was to be close to my family. But the feeling has subsided. Yes I admit, I hate Florida!! (It is America's wang after all.)
We spoke of Canada a while back as well. OH beautiful Canada take me away peacefully. *sigh* Alas, nothing these days is peaceful. Why is life so hard for me?
VA? FL? NC? Canada?
*sigh*
PS Did you notice my new profile pic? Likey?
current mood: depressed current music: Jennifer Knap
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(8 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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| Tuesday, April 16th, 2002
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10:19 am - F*cking Birds.....
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A bird owner takes his bird to a pet store to find a nice lil lady bird partner. He sets his bird next to the cutest lil female bird to see if they will get along. The man goes to the shop owner to find out how much the female bird will cost.
The shop owner and the man bicker over the price of the female bird. Owner: $50 Man: UGH no $35 Owner: Ok $45 but that's as low as I can.
Suddenly they hear loud sawks. They run to the birds to find the male bird plucking the feathers from female. And the male bird looks up and says, " What?!?! For $50 bucks this bitch better at least be naked!!"
current mood: silly current music: Rapture IIO
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( butterfly kiss me)
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| Sunday, April 14th, 2002
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5:28 pm - Fairy Tales
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Fairytales do happen ya know... Oh yeah to who? Name one.. just one Ohhh Geez I don't know.... OK I go it .... Cinder-fucking-rella.. *laughter*
"Pretty Woman"
current mood: silly current music: In the End Linkin Park
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(2 butterfly kisses | butterfly kiss me)
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