Date:	2003-09-05 12:42
Subject:	following Chandra's lead on finally updating
my current Mood:	hopeful
my current Music:	Cure-Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

It's been a while. Chandra is sticking to night shifts, at least for now. My hours at MAC are increasing daily, and I'm booking more shows all the time. If I can work 20 hours a week at MAC, and make $300 a week at the cafe, I can absolutely afford to move out by New Years. I just hope that Chandra is able by then as well, and that we can do it together. I'm so crazy about her, and the thought of her going elsewhere in the country, far away from me, breaks my little heart (though the facts that she needs out of her house and that NO ONE can afford to live around here, let alone a single mother, make that an understandable possibility).

Booking is going alright so far at the cafe. I've been getting some stuff done at Brookdale, now that the school year has started up again yesterday. I've got some more to do, and some clubs to get involved (like I want the Black Student Union to join up with us for the Hip Hop competition), but so far so good. I need to get the rest of our affiliates lined up for the RBMC, and get, in writing, what all of the discounts are, so we can get the membership cards printed up and really start pushing this thing.

Going to school full time, and working two jobs, and juggling George and Chandra doesn't leave me with a lot of extra time. However, I need to be in school (and want to learn), like both of my jobs, and wouldn't pass up spending as much time with George and Chandra as possible for anything (and I don't). Those are the five things I've got going on right now, and it doesn't leave time for much else.

But I've got goals, and I'm working toward them, and I'm a patient man. So, hopefully, by New Years, I'll be completely out of debt and have saved up enough to move back out of my house. I can get my car from FL too. Your assignment for this entry is to make a medium-term goal for yourself, perhaps one that can be achieved in a few months, and start working toward it.

C Ya,
Eric

So Chandra is once again my girlfriend. And I'm very happy about this. I'm very happy about her in general. She's been sick of late, and I hate to see her sick. But she's almost all better. She's been having car troubles as well. It seems as though every time she gets out of debt from the last repair, there's a new one. She just had bad luck with cars, I guess.

My anual family party is coming up this weekend. It's George's birthday on Sunday, so it all works out very nicely. I can't believe he's going to be four already. Now I know how my parents felt. I've invited Chandra to the party. I hope she comes, and I hope that my family is nice to her. They're very uptight, and she's very much a free spirit. There's also a reason that I see her almost every day, and them only once a year.

Chandra and I have been talking about the possibility of getting a seasonal rental in Belmar, but we're not sure if we can afford it. We've also discussed the possibility of me going to FL for school and her coming with me. I don't like the idea of leaving NJ just now (especially since I already left for a year and have been back only a year since). I've got George here, and two jobs that I enjoy and pay me well. To move to FL means I'd need to make $350 a week. Could I do it? Yeah. But it's still a gamble. Also, Chandra just got the chance to move to day shift (noon-8), and pick up three more shifts a week. We're gonna find out if it works with her Arwen schedule and if there's a daycare that is local, affordable, and open the hours that she needs. However, if this whole thing goes well with Chandra's new schedule, and she can get paid the same rate as when she's working the night shift (which is possible), then we can afford to either get a summer rental, or start saving for FL. We can't do both, unfotunately. We'll see what happens before we have to make any sort of decission, though.

In other news, Adam is a tool. Why? Just 'cause.

I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas.

I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can relax.

Your assignment for this entry is to come see Chandra play at the Cafe on Friday night (I'm doing a song with her, and ther are some other great acts playing, as well).

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-08-18 23:13
Subject:	Chandra is my best friend, and as such, is my friend
my current Mood:	peaceful
my current Music:	Good Charlotte (stuck in my head from the car this morning)

So I finally re-added Chandra to my friends list. I took her off back when we had that big fight. And when we started talking again, got friendly again, and got back to where we are now, even though she re-added me, I didn't put her back on. "Why?" you may ask. I was very afraid of completely sharing myself with her (specifically I was afraid of her reading how I felt was I was upset). However, Chandra really is my best friend, and as such, I can tell her anything. And since she's completely leveled with me as to how she felt at the time (she told me that she flat-out hated me for the better part of a week), and then given me a kiss, I think it only fair that I allow her to read what I wrote. I don't think that there's anything there too offensive, or that she'd take personally now, since I wrote it so long ago, when she was much more graphic and vocal in her distaste for me at the time. So, I'm finally ready to share all of that with her. I'm just so butt-crazy for her, sometimes I just feel so fucking lame. {shrug} I guess that's the way you're supposed to feel. She's so wonderful. I love being aroud her all the time. I hope that we continue to work out so well. I would hate to lose her again.

On a completely different note, I made some massive updates to the content on my site. Your assignment for this entry is to head on over and check it out (and sign my guestbook while you're there).

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-08-14 10:00
Subject:	My Wonderful Night
my current Mood:	loved
my current Music:	Beatles-Sgt. Pepper

So I played the show last night. It went well. I played well. We drew well. Chandra came. I had a great time with her. She's such a silly-ass. She walked in the door, gave me a kiss, and handed me a strip-club catalogue. She's awesome and a half.

After the show, we went to the Americana Diner. Chandra was thrilled with the food (which makes me happy), and I was happy with mine as well. We just sat and talked for a while. She's just so much fun to be around and talk to and joke with and...just everything with. Then we drove toward my house. We stopped at the Colts Neck Inn, just to look around and check it out. Just 'cause we were passing by it and we could. Then we went and parked behind the school down the street from my house. All the lights were off, and we had the top down on her car, and we just sat there, with the music softly on, looking up at the sky, talking, kissing, acting like teenagers from the 50s. It was perfect.

We went back to my house, watched Sex and the City, went upstairs, curled up in bed and went to sleep. It was perfect. What have I done so right to deserve perfect nights? I don't think I should question it. I think that I should just shut the hell up and enjoy it. I love having Chandra as my best friend. I love having someone in my life that I can talk to about anything, tell anything, and who feels just as open with me.

I'm going to develop the pictures from last night's show on my break today. And I'm gonna try to edit down the audio to put the songs up on my site tomorrow. Hopefully I can get the whole thing updated tomorrow. Jim, my sound guy, is working on making my site look ten times better (FINALLY...a REAL webmaster instead of my punk-ass). So, hopefully V 2.0 will be up sometime soon.

Also, the RBMC is coming along quite nicely. Monmouth Music is in, Red Bank Rehearsal will most likely be in once the owner gets back from LA next week, and I'm meeting with the owner of Retro Media Studios (the only recording studio in town) on Tuesday. I've got big plans. I hope that most of them come to fruition. Your assignment for this entry is to kick names and take ass.

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-08-12 23:45
Subject:	Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
my current Mood:	giddy
my current Music:	50 Cent-In Da Club (yeah, and what of it!?)

I just had the best f'ing day! I spent the whole day with Chandra (most of which was spent in bed or on the couch). She came over late last night, we crawled into bed, slept in this morning, woke up when the sun was nice and warm and just enjoyed each others company in every way imagineable. I made her try my tuna fish (which my sister and Rena both agree is the best), and she liked it a lot. We watched Suicide Kings (one of my favorite movies...not top 5, but definitely top 25), and she liked it a lot. I was really happy that I got to share those things with her. We sat around for much of the day with me in a towel, and her in my bed sheet, being worn like a toga. Let me tell you, THAT was HOT! ;) I think that I may have made one too many Statue of Liberty jokes, though. Anyway, I'm just still smiling from what a GREAT day I had.

On a completely seperate and shamless note, I'm playing a show tomorrow night. Y'all should come. I'm doing requests, so tell me what you want to hear now, so I can make sure to put it in my set list. Details are the same as they've been for the last few shows: iCafe, 7:30, $5. Playing with Rising to the Bottom, and John and Nolan.

Tonight was the first night of the Songwriters' Workshop. It went well. There were four of us (not bad for the first time). I want it to eventually get up to about 15-20. Everyone stayed really possitive, and took the constructive criticism well. No one had anything that they'd change about my song, Break My Rules (which I sang because it was about the day that I spent all day just lounging around in bed with Chandra...and I did the same thing today, for the first time since). For the most part, they all just sat around and stroked my ego, telling me how much they liked it. So, next time I'll have to do a song that isn't as great (however, it's glad to hear that everyone liked it, 'cause I really think that it's one of my better songs in a while). Next week I hope to hit about 7 people. And when the school year starts, I want to join up with Keith, my voice coach, because he hosts a songwriters' club at Brookdale Community College, and I'd like to join forces with him and present and host my workshop with him. It'll make the whole thing run better, have higher attendence, and be more productive. Things to look forward to.

I'm off to bed now, so I can get some rest before Chandra comes over after work ('round 2:30-3ish). I love waking up next to her. It's so comfortable. She's so pretty first thing in the morning. I love 6AM kisses. 3AM kisses are also great. I'm so comfortable with her, in general (which is great, because for the latter half of when we were still going out, I felt like I was constantly walking on egg-shells). Oh, and she looks great in a toga! Your assignment for this entry is to kiss my grits!

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-08-10 11:30
Subject:	My birfday shoes!
my current Mood:	touched
my current Music:	Harry Belafonte

Okay, so clearly the coolest pair of shoes I've ever owned in my entire life, this is the present that Chandra gave me for my birthday. I can't begin to explain how much I LOVE these shoes! Chandra is 5'9", and I'm 5'7". So, for my birthday, she gave me two more inches! She had these custom made. It was such an original and thoughtful idea, and I can't count how many compliments I've gotten on them. That's four additional layer of soul at which you're looking. She picked them up on my birthday and drove into Red Bank to meet me on my lunch break to give them to me. Awesome, cool, thoughtful, creative and original are the best adjectives to describe this, my coolest birthday present (no offense to anyone else who got me anything). So, I post this here for your approval. Click on the pic to see it bigger.

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (97%)
3. Liberal Quakers (84%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (73%)
6. Nontheist (72%)
7. Neo-Pagan (60%)
8. Bahá'í Faith (52%)
9. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (51%)
10. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (46%)
11. Taoism (45%)
12. New Age (45%)
13. Mahayana Buddhism (42%)
14. New Thought (39%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (39%)
16. Jehovah's Witness (37%)
17. Reform Judaism (36%)
18. Scientology (33%)
19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (32%)
20. Sikhism (28%)
21. Jainism (26%)
22. Hinduism (23%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (19%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (14%)
25. Islam (14%)
26. Orthodox Judaism (14%)
27. Roman Catholic (14%)

Date:	2003-08-08 23:06
Subject:	Really great mood
my current Mood:	happy
my current Music:	Neil Diamond (yeah, that's right, I said it)

So, Chandra and I are finally happy with a semi-defined pseudo relationship. We know how we feel, we know where we stand, neither of us have too much preasure, and we have the comfort of monogamy. She really is my best friend.

She had brought up me being her boyfriend again. I thought about it for a day or so. I really did. And I remembered that it didn't work last time, largely due to complications that were incurred by how much preasure she felt (some of which was created by me, some of which was created by her). I came to the conclusion that, though I'd love to be her boyfriend, because I feel so intensely about her, I know deep in my gut that it wouldn't work out...and I would innevitably lose her. I would much rather keep her forever as my best friend, with all the feelings (emotionally and physically) that we have, share and express, than have her as my girlfriend for a short while and watch it all go to shit. I'm not a fan of things going to shit.

So, the main reason for writing this entry (other than the fact that it's on my mind), is that Chandra finally mentioned me again in her livejournal. We had that horrible fight a while back. And she trashed the shit out of me in her livejournal (once specifically and horribly, and then almost like a back-handed compliment). However, we had several very long talks about a lot of things (as many of you may remember from previous entries), and many weeks later, we're happy again. However, in the many weeks that we were working things out, and then just flat out loving being together all the time, she hadn't mentioned me (at least not in any entries that weren't private). Well, she just wrote two really great entries about me yesterday (actually two halves of one thought). And I'm just really happy that she's finally talking about it again. I mean, she's told me that she's told her friends, but it just makes me feel really good to see it in writing, and have it there to read when I miss her (that sounds SO lame, I know). Your assignment for this entry is to once again be happy for me...because I genuinly am happy right now (going on almost three weeks of hapiness at this point).

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-08-04 14:06
Subject:	My BIRFDAY!
my current Mood:	happy
my current Music:	A mix CD that Chandra and I made

So, my party went well. I had a good time. Most people who said they'd come did, and most who couldn't make it at least called. I'm 22 now. I've got nothing profound to say about that.

I'm getting Thursday nights from Joe starting in September, so I'll be in charge of everything save the open mics. And that's good. It's what I wanted. Now I have the task of booking it all. I'll do it. I've got a lot of ideas.

I've been spening a LOT of time with Chandra. It's been really great. I mean, we both know where we stand in the potential for a relationship, and neither one of us likes it, but at least it's out there in the open, and we can just enjoy whatever it is we have. She's talking about moving to Oregon, and I really hope that it works out for her (she NEEDS out of this state). I'll miss the shit out of her, but she needs to do what's best for her and Arwen. However, 'til then, I'm just enjoying all the time that I can with her. The last few nights have been particularly great (the details of which are none of your frickin' business).

So, your assignment for this entry is to wish me a happy birthday (if you haven't already). Today is, after all, my birfday (we gon' party like it's my birfday...we gon' drink bacardi like it's my birfday...).

C Ya,
Eric

So, I've been waiting for months to find out if the new Ben Affleck and J. Lo movie was as bad as I suspected it would be. After all, they wrapped shooting on it well over a year ago, and from what I heard, the test-screenings went so poorly, that they actually had to completely change the ending (now, don't get me wrong, they did the same thing for "Fatal Attraction" and that movie was a fucking masterpiece...but still). So, today the votes were in. The imdb has it ranked at 2.1 out of a possible 10 (based on 155 votes), and the only comment had this to say:

Ever since "Anaconda" slithered onto the big screen a few years ago, I've been waiting for J-Lo's next big bomb. But months and then years passed. The lady with the big booty seemed to have the Midas touch. Everything she did seemed to turn to gold, sell out the box office and even get some critical acclaim. "The Wedding Planner" was hailed as the greatest romantic comedy since "Schindler's List." "Out Of Sight" had them swooning. "J-Lo and Clooney!! What chemistry!!!!" Even a stinker like "The Cell" didn't garner the scorn it so deserved.

Well, "Gigli" has done it. If this film doesn't bury J-Lo's career, then nothing will!

Pairing Affleck and Lopez (what a cute couple!!!!) was probably the biggest mistake since Franco Zefferili cast Adolph Hitler and Benito Mussolini in that delightful romp called "World War II." I don't know (or care) if they are a publicity stunt in "real life" but these two phone their lines in. Ha ha money's in the bank. Suckers. The plot has something to do with a hitman (how original!) protecting somebody or another. You know, the plot is beside the point. They figured everybody would go see this bomb because it's got "Ben and J-Lo" in it! B AND J! B AND J! B AND J! BJ! BJ!

Needless to say, I was pulling out my eyebrows with a pair of red hot tweezers by the time the closing credits rolled down the screen. Nobody was left by then. Nobody. They were all gone.

All gone.

The stench was unbearable. The corpses littered the ground. The sky was red. Bloody red. Red.

Just wanted to share. Your assignment for this entry is to avoid this film.

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-07-31 16:51
Subject:	All the cool kids are doing it
my current Mood:	tired
my current Music:	Dashboard Confessional-Swiss Army Romance

Well, Christine and Chandra both took this, so I got too curious to not. So, here it is...and to be honest, I think that it does describe me pretty well.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

So, now that I book for the Internet Cafe, I've put my long-standing idea of the Red Bank Music Community into effect. Paul registered the site name today, and it should be up in the next week or so. I just wrote the mission statement, and am particularly proud of it, and wanted to share it with all of you:

The Red Bank Music Community is exactly what it sounds like: a community of music. Too long have artists and bands been struggling to make a name for themselves without anyone else on their side. Too long have venues been taking advantage of and disrespecting the artists and bands that are their bread and butter. Today is a new day. The Red Bank Music Community is here for you. We’re all in this together!

The Red Bank Music Community is devoted to enhancing not only each and every show – booking solid shows (not just slapping together any bunch of acts that can bring people in the door), doing our part to promote, and treating every artist not only with respect, but as a member of our local music community – but also enhancing the visibility of each individual act (helping to get your name out, and networking you with musicians of similar genres and caliber).

Every artist that is booked and performs at an RBMC show becomes a member. We are no longer in this just for ourselves, but for each other: therein lies the only possible key to our collective survival and success. We hope you’ll join us in our crusade to change our local scene for the better by participating in our scheduled events as well as supporting your fellow musical kindred spirits.

Your assignment for this entry is to let me know what you think about it.

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-07-25 17:14
Subject:	MAJOR News
my current Mood:	busy
my current Music:	Random CDs from bands that want to play the cafe

So, the main thing on my mind is that I just got put in charge of booking the Internet Cafe! Yay! I've been on Paul's ass for months now to make this happen, and I've finally got it. I book Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Sunday and Monday are still Open Mic and Christian Open Mic, and Thursdays still belong to Joe Cullity (and I'm working on nixing that, 'cause he does a horrible job of it). So, I've been making a bunch of calls today, tracking down bands, and seeing who's up to what. I've got a thousand and one ideas for what I want to do. More on that to come.

Next, last Wednesday's show kicked ass! I had a great time. Adam came and Derek came, so that was good. Derek took new pics (which will be up as soon as I get them back, 'cause I had to send out the B+W film). Then, I went home, and Chandra came over. BTW, sorry for the lack of update on that one: we've been hanging out of late...which is good. We had a long talk on Monday and I feel as though I said everything that needed to be said (and, amazingly, she still wanted to hang out with me afterwards). So, now I can just enjoy time with her without a thousand things in the back of my mind. She came over, we talked 'til about 2AM, and then we went to sleep. It was perfect. I was happy.

So, your assignment for this entry is to recomend acts that you think I should be booking to the cafe.

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-07-20 22:07
Subject:	My Birfday
my current Mood:	curious

So now I'm thinking to throw myself a bash for my birthday. I was worried about having a party because I don't think I can handle the rejection of whoever doesn't show, but that's COMPLETELY ridiculous. I shouldn't have a party because some people might not come? In that case, I shouldn't live life because it might not work out the way I'd hoped. It's just defensive BS.

Perhaps the day before, on Sunday, the 3rd. I don't know. I've got a big backyard, and most people are free on Sundays. I'd probably make it an early night; it being a Sunday and all. Most likely 3-7 or 4-8...something like that.

So, it'd be a barbeque. I'll supply the chicken, ground meat and dogs, and I can have everyone else bring other platters, deserts and beverages (cases of soda, bottled water and probably beer). However, this also means that I'd need to enlist a volunteer who knows how to and enjoys barbequeing.

I'd invite all my friends and people with whom I'm friendly (this ecompasses nearest and dearest, coworkers, and probably the fans that have, at this point, become friends from showing up so much). If 20 people come, I'd be happy.

I should do something about music, and though I like to play, I don't think that I'd really enjoy playing my own party (it'd seem lame). I wouldn't just want one guy and a guitar (though it sounds great in a cafe, it doesn't exactly fill up a party or my backyard), and I don't want a band that gets too hard. I'd want something that can just be background. Maybe I could invite the Josh Zandman Trio to play. Maybe not, though. Josh might say he's coming and then not show. He's a big flake like that. Also, I know that J-Pat (another member of the band) hosts the open mic at the cafe at 7:30, so he'd have to go early. {shrug} Worst case scenario: I'd have a CD on like every other normal party.

So, what do you all think? Do you think you'd come to my birthday party if I invited you? That's your assignment for this entry: hypothetically RSVP (and if i get a good turn out from this sample, I'll most likely do it).

C Ya,
Eric

Date:	2003-07-14 00:07
Subject:	Would this even work?
my current Mood:	creative
my current Music:	Brak

Alright, so I had this insane idea today. I don't even know if it makes sense. But here it is:

Create your own summer festival tour (like Ozzfest, Lollopalooza, etc.). Here's how it works:

Get alligned with a major non-proffit organization (like, for example, the national MS Society). It becomes a summer music festival tour to promote awareness and raise money for MS. The organizer is techincally an employee of the national MS Society. However, they don't actually have to put out any money (which is why it wouldn't be impossible to talk them into doing it). You have major corporate sponsors foot the tab: Coca-Cola, for example, could give you money, and they write it off as a charitable donation. Meanwhile, they're actually buying ad-space on this summer tour. You get a bunch of musicians who aren't publicly into drugs, and don't promote violence (so no punk, hard-core or rap)...the idea being to get musical acts with clean public records...and you line the whole thing up. Venues nation-wide, equipment rental houses and insurance companies can give you a discount because it's all in the name of curing MS. The bands can cut you a break too. So, you've got the money, you've got the backing, you've most certainly got media attention (as the first major summer tour being run by a non-proffit organization), and customers don't mind paying $50 a ticket 'cause part of the proffits go to help fight MS. You get paid a hefty salary by the MS society for organizing this (you are, after all, bringing in TONS of money for them and building awareness nation-wide), and THEN you go ahead and throw yourself on the bill, towards the earlier part of the day (and get paid a second time as an artist). Now change all the "you"s to "I"s, and let me know if you think this could possibly work. Obviously the specifics are loose (like WHICH organization...though MS is my personal first choice...and WHICH gigantic corporate sponsors...I'm sure that pharmacutical companies would LOVE it...etc.), but what you do you think? Your assignment for this entry is to give me feedback. Oh, and don't you steal my idea...FUCKERS! ('cause you know a mofo such as myself has already got it pattent pending).

C Ya,
Eric