ruined in a day's LiveJournal View: User Info. View: Friends. Latest 25 entries. Jump back 25 entries.

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003

Subject: ow cont... Time: 4:53 pm. Mood: crappy.

i don't know why I'm at work. don't feel like updating. maybe i'll back date some entries later. i am SO hungry and I can't chew anything still. at least my cheeks aren't so swollen anymore. i think i'm going to pick up some congee for dinner. the only thing I can stuff myself with. =/

1 ¢ || +

Subject: ow Time: 1:19 pm. Mood: sore.

face swollen....just got out of heavy drug induced coma since 3pm yesterday...need more percocet.

1 ¢ || +

Subject: snowy pain / babblings of boredom Time: 10:44 am. Mood: bored.

I stayed in last night due to the snow and MM wanting to have girl's night out with her friends. Plowed around 10-ish, tried to upgrade MC's computer with little success, and setup the projector in my room. The image is HUGE. I'm talking like 8 feet by 10 feet or something insane. I tried to watch the dvd of Singles I picked up last month but couldn't get into it. Maybe I was just feeling restless. That's when I went to plow. There wasn't too much snow to begin with so it was pretty quick. I made the fatal mistake of leaving my laptop over MM's since it was the only functional one I have that can get on the wireless network here at home and I didn't want to sit in the mess of the other room where the other computers sat. So I couldn't past the time away sitting on the internet. My desktop computer is in complete shambles. One day it decides not to work as well anymore so no more internet for me unless I have my laptop, or I fix my computer or I finish wiring the house with a switch in the basement so all the cat 5 outlets work. Plus I have to go buy the wall outlets...too much work. So I just laid there watching TV. I also realized that I'm pretty bored with the internet these days. There's not much to do. I visit eBay and look up stuff I can't buy, I visit the few discussion boards I frequent and get bored within a few minutes, and then I check out LJ but no one is really updating as much as I remember they used to. So I end up making more entries. Perhaps I should find a new past time/hobby. I was expecting heaps of snow today but not much of the white stuff was on the ground. So here I am at work now. Starving because I'm not allowed to have anything to eat for 6 hours before oral surgery. Oh yeah, my insurance finally approved the wisdom teeth extraction for my lower jaw, so they're digging out the 2 bottom ones today. Oh joy =/

+

Subject: Texas Sky Time: 11:17 am.

12.30.02 Walmart parking lot sunset

7 ¢ || +

Subject: CES Time: 1:20 pm.

I think I need to become a tech journalist so I can go to these cheesy electronic shows put on by the industry. CES (Consumer Electronics Show) wrapped up last week and I always remember reading about it when I was a kid. All the big companies would show off their cool gadgets and the gaming companies would give you a sneak peak of things to come. New gadget that got intro'd at CES that I want? A 3 megapixel camera by pentax that fits inside a tin of Altoids.

+

Subject: Number of photos I've taken Time: 1:38 pm.

7.27.2001 I just realized I've snapped over 5000 pictures since I got my first digital camera over 2 years ago (on my second one now). Wow. Here's a nice one I stumbled across. #1500 from warmer days. I'm ready for this winter to be OVER! God its freezing here.

5 ¢ || +

Subject: weekend gizmos and gadgets and stuff Time: 1:28 pm.

Next cool gadget I can't afford. Sony DCR-IP55. MicroMV camcorder, Bluetooth, 1 megapixel digital camera, touchscreen, you can even get on the web and email from this thing. I want one of these. Maybe later down the line when they have refurbs or something, who knows. T-mobile sent me a new phone when I got back from TX last week, after I complained to them, so now I can make and receive calls again. They actually sent me a different colored phone, a mineral gray one, as opposed to the arctic blue one I had. I actually like the new color since it looks more sophisticated instead of looking girly/kiddish like my old one. Walked into the AT&T; Wireless store yesterday to check out their selection of GSM phones, I don't know why but I kinda want a nokia 6590. Its just nifty looking. They also had the MCA-25 camera attachment for my phone but it was for 130 bucks! damn, too rich for my blood. especially for something that doesn't take that nice of a picture to begin with. Didn't do much this weekend, I finished Metroid Fusion on the GBA which was somewhat underwhelming. I thought I was only halfway through and suddenly BAM! it was over. Spent most of the time just surfing around on my laptop while MM studied. We did go out to Miya's birthday on friday night. I realized I can't stay up past 1am anymore. It totally throws me out of whack for at least a day or 2 and I'm just exhausted throughout it all. I'm either slowly settling into a sleep routine or I'm just getting way too old.

2 ¢ || +

Subject: warm and fuzzy Time: 9:30 am. Mood: okay.

3 ¢ || +

Subject: GBA SP Time: 11:26 am. Mood: excited.

A Nintendo Co. employee displays the company's new Game Boy Advance SP (L) and the current version in Osaka, Japan, Jan. 7, 2003. Japan's videogame giant said on Tuesday that it would launch the new product, Game Boy Advance SP, on February 14, 2003 with a price tag of 12,500 yen ($105) in Japan. The Game Boy Advance SP can be folded and has a lighting system that allows it to be used in poorly lit places. ______ I want one!!!! Doesn't come to the US until March 23! :( boo

11 ¢ || +

Subject: White Christmas Time: 1:50 pm. Mood: calm. Music: Gene Autry - Here Comes Santa Claus.

12.25.02 10:30am ( Read more... )

5 ¢ || +

Subject: Nostalgia / What Christmas means to me..... Time: 11:32 am.

I spent the last part of last night watching The Transformers Season 2 on DVD that MM had given me for Xmas. Can I say how horrible the first few episodes were? Were they that bad back then and I just didn't realize it? It does bring back some memories, but boy, it makes me wonder if life was really that rosy back then or when you're a kid, things just taste and feel better since you have no knowledge of anything else. Innocence/ignorance, who knows. This takes me to my second thought. Christmas spirit, I haven't had it in quite a few years. Visiting Manhattan always helps sometimes, while taking in the decor but this year, I didn't have the time or means to get up there. Last year, standing in Vatican City didn't really kickstart any type of yuletide cheer. Let me say first, that its not about the religion. Its something else, something intangible. That good feeling you get from seeing people care about one another, the decorations that folks actually put so much time and effort into. This year, our tree isn't even decorated yet. Its standing there, with a lot of lights on it, but nary an ornament has been hung. My little sister was going to go buy new ornament hooks but neglected to do so...I've bought my presents, but they sit there unwrapped. Listening to the radio with all the holiday cheer hasn't done much for me either. Today just feels like another day. Kinda sad, eh? On top of which, I find myself just looking forwards to flying down to TX and not much else. What has become of the holidays for me? Where is that wistful feeling I used to get? Where is the excitement I had for Christmas morning for giving gifts and unwrapping stuff for myself? Perhaps its been lost with my youth too? Maybe I'll have it again when I have kids of my own. But for now, it feels like a distant memory. Its not like I'm sad or down, but I don't know how to recapture that feeling I've had of my youth. Perhaps the ability for me to appreciate a horrible episode of the Transformers or this time of year has come and gone. Now its time to find a new one perhaps? Maybe. I also feel like the kid in Home Alone. Everyone has left me the last few days. My family flew off to L.A., my girlfriend is home with her family in another state, and my the few friends I have are busy with their holiday agendas. I guess I'm adjusting to being in the spooky house by myself, but its just...lonely. Merry Christmas everyone, and here's hoping that your next few days are full of good.

3 ¢ || +

Subject: here Time: 6:37 am. Mood: awake.

I put her on the plane, and now I'm at work at an ungodly hour. I can't believe I've been awake for 2 hours now.

+

Subject: shite Time: 5:01 pm. Mood: aggravated.

negativity, crankiness, foul moods. they're all infectious. Especially when its coming from someone you care about. blah i will not let it consume me. i will not let it consume me. i will not let it consume me.

+

Subject: Merry Christmas to me Time: 11:02 am. Mood: excited.

Just plunked down £26.82 for the New Order box set "Retro" from HMV in the UK. I can't believe the US version got delayed until AFTER christmas. Those boys at the record label really dropped the ball on that one. Amazon was listing the US version for 53 bucks! I got it WITH shipping from HMV for roughly 42 bucks. Oh YEAH! For the uninitiated, I'm not an easy person to shop for. I like relatively obscure stuff or bleeding edge techno things. And I usually end up buying them myself since I figure no one's gonna figure it out. Ah well....merry christmas to me. 12.24.02 2:50pm It came yesterday! wow, quick service...opened it today with Nabil and Luca while I was educating them. Still haven't listened to it. Maybe later...

+

Subject: Happiness is a Serious Problem Time: 10:24 am. Mood: hopeful. Music: Santana feat. Dido - Feels Like Fire.

I started reading this book last night entitled, "Happiness is a Serious Problem" Its an interesting book. The first few chapters talk about how its so easy to be unhappy and that very few people realize that they have to work at being happy. The former idea, I sorta knew. I spent most of my early 20s taking the easy route just wallowing in my self-pity and unhappiness. I guess what was different for me was that I was cognizant about the whole deal. I mean, I was initially living just to make my parents happy, like any good asian son should. But I realized that where was that taking me? Nowhere. I guess now I have the rest of my life fixing those things about me, and also to be happy. But to me, being happy isn't really the goal. Its just a really good by-product of doing the things you want to do in life. The book also mentioned how although people think being happy means being selfish, they never realize the altruistic side-effects of being happy, how you being happy makes other people around you take notice. I mean, after all, you don't want to hang out with depressed people all the time do you? Well, maybe sometimes the misery loves company thing takes hold. Then again, easy way out, eh? Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, at dinner last night, I realized, as I've been realizing more and more, that I'm happier these days. And its not by mistake. I'm trying. I don't want to be complacent about everything anymore. I'm trying to pull myself out of the abyss that I've let myself sink into. And I think I am. I've been living life, and trying more the last year or so. I've find myself reconnecting with friends, watching the friendships I have change, die off, or blossom into something greater and more precious. I learn a lot from my friends, and its such a great thing to have friends that you care about and also reciprocate that feeling. Meeting MM has also made a vast difference in my life. I've found someone I love and loves me back. No games, no guesswork, she just does. And I do too. I guess I've don't mention my girlfriend a lot publically on LJ since I always had this fear that maybe she was smoking crack or something when she met me and didn't know any better, and that's why she's with me. But I think what we've been through together the last half year, that we've gotten to know each other, and worked through a lot of things together, its really strengthened what we have. At least I hope it has. I think the feeling is mutual though. As I sat at dinner at Clyde's last night, munching on dinner, talking and laughing with MM, I realized that life can be good, if you work at it.

6 ¢ || +

Subject: where did it go? Time: 11:26 pm. Mood: lethargic.

The first snow of the last winter season didn't happen until January this year. This year, it came earlier. And this reminds me that its been another year that just passed by so quickly when I dug up this old photo of the first snow fall in January. Where did it go? Not to say that time just slipped away. I mean, hell, this has been the most eventful year of my life. Its just strange and scary that time is accelerating in my eyes. Of course time is supposedly a constant thing, but it sure doesn't feel like it. I've blinked and its been almost 5 years since I've been out of college. How did this happen? I was thinking about recounting all the wonderful things that has happened to me this year but I think I'll save that for another day. It just amazes me that the year is almost up. And although I have so much to show for it, it just flew by too quickly that's all.

4 ¢ || +

Subject: vintage computers Time: 2:53 pm. Mood: geeky.

the geek in me wants to buy one of those old macintosh computers on ebay just to play around with it and have it sit on my desk at work. but i'm not geeky enough to want to figure how to set it up to work and have limited web browsing on it. the fastest ones run at 16mhz! My pda runs faster than that. Speaking of which, I was reading the liveonline chat with the computer guy at the post, and people were talking stuff like, "I'm still ONLY running a 1ghz computer.." or "2 or 3ghz pentium 4? I'm not sure its enough with just 800mhz these days" Meanwhile, I'm chugging along at home at 450mhz on a pentium TWO! Hell, my laptop runs at 600mhz, but its not even a intel chip, its one of those transmeta chips that probably only clock about the same speed as a 500 (old school) celeron processor. i'm feeling old and dated.

+

Subject: Tell Me About It - Washington Post - Carolyn Hax Time: 10:21 am. Mood: calm.

Carolyn: I'm thinking of not being the person you can ever complain to about your current or ex-boyfriend, because I've had it with saying, "Yeah, what a jerk, you're better off without the loser," and then having them get back together so I get to pretend I don't know that he's actually quite selfish and mean. Plus, then I lose respect for my friend for putting up with someone who has been so awful to her. So I'll be sympathetic and say things like, "Poor thing, you must feel terrible," but then change the subject. What do you think? Is that not being supportive, or is it actually being a really good friend? -- New Policy All poor-thing-pat-pats aren't created equal. Sincere ones offered to those who are just looking for a little validation are the work of a really good friend. Perfunctory ones are not, especially when used as a slightly condescending defense against actual conversation. It's not that I don't sympathize. I do. Been there. But whenever you're about to deploy a stock answer to anyone, consider it a cue to find a better answer. Maybe all your friends crawl back to jerks -- been there, too -- but unless all these guys are abusers, chances are your friends just make them sound like jerks when they're bitching about them to you. People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Life is complicated. Writing about people, relationships and life without saying "life is complicated" is complicated. Would you want the emotional rantings of an ex to be regarded as an accurate picture of you? So don't assume you have an accurate view of these men amid breakups, makeups and meltdowns. There's always another side. Sometimes that side will be wrong and sometimes you can and should say so -- but the mere fact that you weighed the other side will make you much better at post-makeup flux, as well as a better listener. And, I'm guessing, much less of a hanging judge. Carolyn is right, so all the ranting and bitching I do, is somewhat onesided. I hope everyone does take that into account sometimes. I try to when listening to others too. Of course its easy to get swept away by their accounts too. Best thing I always try to do is pause, take a step back, and try to gain a little more perspective on the situation. Of course its not so easy when you're being caught up in the storm, but its something I try to practice.

+

Subject: First Snow in DC Time: 3:45 pm. Mood: bored.

Cleveland Park Area, Washington DC 12.05.02 - 03:19AM

2 ¢ || +

Subject: Front Yard Time: 12:01 pm.

North Texas 11.29.02

2 ¢ || +

Subject: RIM OF THE NEW WORLD : Amy / The Weight of a Family's Hopes Time: 3:18 pm. Mood: aggravated.

Parents' Dream Leaves Little Room for Being Average American Teen i hate it when i have to read stuff like this. its so true, yet so depressing. its such a strange dichotomy for me to able to identify with the story, yet at the same time, feel absolutely foreign to it. Blah. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I was just white.

11 ¢ || +

Subject: ................................. Time: 1:25 pm. Mood: gloomy.

..............................................

4 ¢ || +

ruined in a day's LiveJournal View: User Info. View: Friends. Latest 25 entries. Jump back 25 entries.