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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in mörtùüs' LiveJournal:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Saturday, October 11th, 2003
    1:04 am
    i see you, then i see me not seeing you...
    i look again...you are not there.
    stand under the dark tree...
    so i can't see you anymore....please please...
    don't do this anymore...because it is not right.
    ...
    wait.....WAIT!!!
    ...
    it is you that i want...
    you know who you are...
    it is still all there...ya know...
    so far away...but who cares???...maybe
    just maybe...

    thinking...

    waiting...

    hoping...

    will you know this?
    please do...please do...please do...

    it's ok

    ok

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: Marduk - Funeral Bitch
    Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
    9:52 pm
    is there any way to ...ummm...you know?

    Current Mood: weird
    Current Music: Marduk - Baptism by Fire
    Sunday, June 1st, 2003
    7:34 pm
    looking...
    watching...
    it has already gone by and i don't know why, but it is sadly missed...

    why can't the things of this be the way they use to be?

    there is nothing more to do but sit and wait on something to happen that will more than likely never happen...but hey, isn't it worth the wait?

    secrets, secrets, secrets...that i hold.
    there isn't anyone to watch them unfold...

    staring...
    looking...
    watching...into the void of space and lonliness...

    Current Mood: distressed
    Current Music: faster pussycat - house of pain
    Thursday, April 10th, 2003
    1:01 am
    O0O
    von keitchzer echi sickosie

    Current Mood: drained
    Current Music: MOYA
    Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
    11:39 pm
    well, i started on a journey today that will lead to me being very wealthly and very well a millionaire within a few years...

    to all the dumb fucks that talk shit about me...

    FUCK OFF!!!

    i "wont" remember you

    Current Mood: accomplished
    Current Music: chevelle - the red
    Friday, February 14th, 2003
    10:39 pm
    blah...

    Current Mood: blah
    Current Music: pearl jam - yellow ledbedder
    Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
    4:04 am
    skrying...
    My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
    Remember that place
    The place you would go to make things okay,
    Children, learning the secret knock, a nickel
    To enter that place,
    The place you would go to make things okay,
    My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
    Remember that place
    The place you would go to take pain away,
    Skrying through reflections in a pool,
    I see death coming, mowing down,
    Do you remember the bedroom,
    Was it your cell or was it your tomb,

    You're living through my hell

    My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you
    Remember that place
    The place you would go to take pain away

    don't go...

    i am still here waiting...

    you know...

    Current Mood: confused
    Current Music: tool - reflection
    Friday, January 24th, 2003
    1:52 am
    answers that i have been trying to find for well over a year now have finally come to a conclusion...

    i will remember...

    sad eyes...

    Current Mood: uncomfortable
    Current Music: system of a down - toxicity
    Monday, January 13th, 2003
    11:29 pm
    yes/no
    this is nonsense...here i am trying hard with my life...with society...you enter my yard dressed like furies or bats...
    bring right in to me all the HELL i've been trying to escape from...
    thought a barbican gate could hold in the maelstrom...HAHAHA YEAH right!...keep out the Dungle...and bats...

    WHAT YOU WANT??!!
    bring me down to your level?
    a life built on scraps...a fretwork of memory which is garbage...
    a jungle of images...HELLFIRE all that's sustaining...
    the childhood. .a house built out of straw could not stand...the man like a roach on the walls...
    so you choose out of doors...

    or my garden...

    as you rant and shout, threaten and cajole me...see me out then debar me...you don't move me one blast...

    LIFE EQUALS CONTROL!

    here is what the difference between us is about: i wear my madness in. .you wear yours out...

    Current Mood: uncomfortable
    Current Music: godspeed you black emperor! - drone
    12:03 am
    dark...sad...eyes...
    blue/gray flowers wilting in the darkness of blood...a brick wall?..scattered pieces from the broken statue that i call my own...shadows follow...overlooking...the redness of the fluffy teddy bear is a reflecion of the torn threads that bind...wasting away...NOTHING!...

    nothing at all is there...
    in the wilderness...
    just the sounds of the whispering winds...

    alone...
    solitaire...

    an ever-forwarding blindness into the void...

    speak!

    Current Mood: full
    Current Music: godspeed you black emperor! - moya
    Sunday, January 5th, 2003
    5:06 pm
    CAN'T WAIT...so the countdown begins...
    tendersweet...hahahaha
    ???
    Your Personal Day of Death is...
    Sunday, May 6, 2029

    Seconds left to live...

    830,846,914

    Current Mood: complacent
    Current Music: godspeed you black emperor! - a silver mount zion
    Saturday, January 4th, 2003
    8:49 pm
    i knock on the door...but nobody answers.
    i am followed through the shadows of the shadow of lies...i look back to the smiling eyes of the little girl on the corner with a lollipop standing alone...but darkness surrounds her as it does us all...not all!...only a select few maggots of society fly through the clouds of joy...i knock so hard on the door...the door of answers...but nobody answers, you know why?..because nobody is on the other side...everybody knocks on the Door of Answers and never realize that it is all a lie...an unthinkable lie...

    WHY BOTHER?...that is what i say...other people (A) have said the same, but do they have a reason? no, nobody has a reason for anything...usually it is just somebody blowing off stupid shit that has no meaning...but i have meaning in what i say...and that is what seperates me from the maggots and the illiterate shadows that follow...

    stay away...

    from this lie...

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: tool - eulogy
    Friday, December 27th, 2002
    2:45 pm
    well...xmas is over finally...i didn't get the living dead girl that i wanted...
    maybe i will find one tonight...

    Current Mood: jubilant
    Current Music: cryptopsy - serpents coil
    Saturday, December 14th, 2002
    1:48 am
    damn...yesterday was friday the 13th...and i forgot...
    i could have sacrificed some chickens and drank goats blood...oh well...darn

    Current Mood: freezing with a hard on
    Current Music: god forbid - nosferatu
    1:42 am
    after i put my foot down your throat...and after a week has passed...all the sudden you crawl to me with your irrelevant whinings like i am suppose to pity you...
    you're fucked in the head...
    i don't look upon soured tears...

    four...

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Current Music: stone sour - bother
    Monday, December 9th, 2002
    12:59 am
    the simple words that mean nothing...
    everything keeps getting built up higher and higher and then dropped like a bomb...but a simple "sorry" makes it all better right?...that's how it is, but not how it should be. i lay my duties aside to please you...but you don't care. i live my life for you...but you don't seem to realize. the promises you make day after day turn into lies overnight. just when i begin to trust you again...the disappointment of another scene in episode three hundred and ninety-two blackens my soul. why keep this going? why anything anymore? why the deceit? wouldn't it save a lot of trouble if it ended now???...make your move...because i am through with it...CAN YOU? i think not...because you are too stuck on "i don't know what to do" bullshit...get a life...

    Current Mood: angry
    12:53 am
    DisorderRating
    Paranoid:Very High
    Schizoid:High
    Schizotypal:High
    Antisocial:Moderate
    Borderline:Very High
    Histrionic:High
    Narcissistic:Moderate
    Avoidant:High
    Dependent:Very High
    Obsessive-Compulsive:High

    -- Click Here To Take The Test --



    Current Mood: bitchy
    Saturday, December 7th, 2002
    11:32 am
    i have not people...about various talks in my friends.
    so i am always talking with the man who lives inside my heart.
    what is time?
    what is right?
    what is wrong?
    i don't know...i don't know...i don't know...
    i don't understand. i can't...i am in confusion...maybe i need help...but i think godspeed can understand me...because i get a little happy...
    and i can feel i'm not alone when i listen...
    imagine...
    your sound...

    Current Mood: hopeful
    Current Music: godspeed you black emeror! - storm
    Friday, November 29th, 2002
    11:45 am
    To use words and phrases in an easygoing manner without scrutinizing them too curiously is not in general a mark of ill-breeding. On the contrary, there is something low-bred in being too precise. But sometimes there is no help for it.

    Current Mood: hungry
    Current Music: godspeed you black emperor! - a silver mount zion
    11:16 am
    in a daze...
    wondering if what happened last night was just a dream...
    of course it was a dream...my dream...

    lets go make more dreams...hahaha

    Current Mood: accomplished
    Current Music: perfect circle - judith
[ << Previous 20 ]
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