Saturday, October 11th, 2003 |
1:04 am |
i see you, then i see me not seeing you... i look again...you are not there. stand under the dark tree... so i can't see you anymore....please please... don't do this anymore...because it is not right. ... wait.....WAIT!!! ... it is you that i want... you know who you are... it is still all there...ya know... so far away...but who cares???...maybe just maybe... thinking... waiting... hoping... will you know this? please do...please do...please do... it's ok ok Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: Marduk - Funeral Bitch |
Wednesday, September 24th, 2003 |
9:52 pm |
is there any way to ...ummm...you know? Current Mood: weirdCurrent Music: Marduk - Baptism by Fire |
Sunday, June 1st, 2003 |
7:34 pm |
looking... watching... it has already gone by and i don't know why, but it is sadly missed... why can't the things of this be the way they use to be? there is nothing more to do but sit and wait on something to happen that will more than likely never happen...but hey, isn't it worth the wait? secrets, secrets, secrets...that i hold. there isn't anyone to watch them unfold... staring... looking... watching...into the void of space and lonliness... Current Mood: distressedCurrent Music: faster pussycat - house of pain |
Thursday, April 10th, 2003 |
1:01 am |
O0O von keitchzer echi sickosie Current Mood: drainedCurrent Music: MOYA |
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003 |
11:39 pm |
well, i started on a journey today that will lead to me being very wealthly and very well a millionaire within a few years... to all the dumb fucks that talk shit about me... FUCK OFF!!! i "wont" remember you Current Mood: accomplishedCurrent Music: chevelle - the red |
Friday, February 14th, 2003 |
10:39 pm |
blah... Current Mood: blahCurrent Music: pearl jam - yellow ledbedder |
Sunday, February 2nd, 2003 |
4:04 am |
skrying... My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you Remember that place The place you would go to make things okay, Children, learning the secret knock, a nickel To enter that place, The place you would go to make things okay, My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you Remember that place The place you would go to take pain away, Skrying through reflections in a pool, I see death coming, mowing down, Do you remember the bedroom, Was it your cell or was it your tomb, You're living through my hell My cost, the price of a broken doll, can you Remember that place The place you would go to take pain away don't go... i am still here waiting... you know... Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: tool - reflection |
Friday, January 24th, 2003 |
1:52 am |
answers that i have been trying to find for well over a year now have finally come to a conclusion... i will remember... sad eyes... Current Mood: uncomfortableCurrent Music: system of a down - toxicity |
Monday, January 13th, 2003 |
11:29 pm |
yes/no this is nonsense...here i am trying hard with my life...with society...you enter my yard dressed like furies or bats... bring right in to me all the HELL i've been trying to escape from... thought a barbican gate could hold in the maelstrom...HAHAHA YEAH right!...keep out the Dungle...and bats... WHAT YOU WANT??!! bring me down to your level? a life built on scraps...a fretwork of memory which is garbage... a jungle of images...HELLFIRE all that's sustaining... the childhood. .a house built out of straw could not stand...the man like a roach on the walls... so you choose out of doors... or my garden... as you rant and shout, threaten and cajole me...see me out then debar me...you don't move me one blast... LIFE EQUALS CONTROL! here is what the difference between us is about: i wear my madness in. .you wear yours out... Current Mood: uncomfortableCurrent Music: godspeed you black emperor! - drone |
12:03 am |
dark...sad...eyes... blue/gray flowers wilting in the darkness of blood...a brick wall?..scattered pieces from the broken statue that i call my own...shadows follow...overlooking...the redness of the fluffy teddy bear is a reflecion of the torn threads that bind...wasting away...NOTHING!... nothing at all is there... in the wilderness... just the sounds of the whispering winds... alone... solitaire... an ever-forwarding blindness into the void... speak! Current Mood: fullCurrent Music: godspeed you black emperor! - moya |
Sunday, January 5th, 2003 |
5:06 pm |
CAN'T WAIT...so the countdown begins... tendersweet...hahahaha ??? Your Personal Day of Death is... Sunday, May 6, 2029 Seconds left to live... 830,846,914 Current Mood: complacentCurrent Music: godspeed you black emperor! - a silver mount zion |
Saturday, January 4th, 2003 |
8:49 pm |
i knock on the door...but nobody answers. i am followed through the shadows of the shadow of lies...i look back to the smiling eyes of the little girl on the corner with a lollipop standing alone...but darkness surrounds her as it does us all...not all!...only a select few maggots of society fly through the clouds of joy...i knock so hard on the door...the door of answers...but nobody answers, you know why?..because nobody is on the other side...everybody knocks on the Door of Answers and never realize that it is all a lie...an unthinkable lie... WHY BOTHER?...that is what i say...other people (A) have said the same, but do they have a reason? no, nobody has a reason for anything...usually it is just somebody blowing off stupid shit that has no meaning...but i have meaning in what i say...and that is what seperates me from the maggots and the illiterate shadows that follow... stay away... from this lie... Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: tool - eulogy |
Friday, December 27th, 2002 |
2:45 pm |
well...xmas is over finally...i didn't get the living dead girl that i wanted... maybe i will find one tonight... Current Mood: jubilantCurrent Music: cryptopsy - serpents coil |
Saturday, December 14th, 2002 |
1:48 am |
damn...yesterday was friday the 13th...and i forgot... i could have sacrificed some chickens and drank goats blood...oh well...darn
Current Mood: freezing with a hard on Current Music: god forbid - nosferatu |
1:42 am |
after i put my foot down your throat...and after a week has passed...all the sudden you crawl to me with your irrelevant whinings like i am suppose to pity you... you're fucked in the head... i don't look upon soured tears... four... Current Mood: annoyedCurrent Music: stone sour - bother |
Monday, December 9th, 2002 |
12:59 am |
the simple words that mean nothing... everything keeps getting built up higher and higher and then dropped like a bomb...but a simple "sorry" makes it all better right?...that's how it is, but not how it should be. i lay my duties aside to please you...but you don't care. i live my life for you...but you don't seem to realize. the promises you make day after day turn into lies overnight. just when i begin to trust you again...the disappointment of another scene in episode three hundred and ninety-two blackens my soul. why keep this going? why anything anymore? why the deceit? wouldn't it save a lot of trouble if it ended now???...make your move...because i am through with it...CAN YOU? i think not...because you are too stuck on "i don't know what to do" bullshit...get a life... Current Mood: angry |
12:53 am |
Current Mood: bitchy |
Saturday, December 7th, 2002 |
11:32 am |
i have not people...about various talks in my friends. so i am always talking with the man who lives inside my heart. what is time? what is right? what is wrong? i don't know...i don't know...i don't know... i don't understand. i can't...i am in confusion...maybe i need help...but i think godspeed can understand me...because i get a little happy... and i can feel i'm not alone when i listen... imagine... your sound... Current Mood: hopefulCurrent Music: godspeed you black emeror! - storm |
Friday, November 29th, 2002 |
11:45 am |
To use words and phrases in an easygoing manner without scrutinizing them too curiously is not in general a mark of ill-breeding. On the contrary, there is something low-bred in being too precise. But sometimes there is no help for it. Current Mood: hungryCurrent Music: godspeed you black emperor! - a silver mount zion |
11:16 am |
in a daze... wondering if what happened last night was just a dream... of course it was a dream...my dream... lets go make more dreams...hahaha Current Mood: accomplishedCurrent Music: perfect circle - judith |