| Good Christ |
[15 Aug 2003|06:04pm] |
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I had the worst day of my life yesterday. It surpassed every tragedy, every loss, every hard experience I have ever been through.
No joke.
I wrote that post as the power went out throughout the east coast. I managed to pull myself up to look out the window and see that all the traffic lights were out and the cars on 3rd Ave were swirving to keep from hitting the cars driving down 88th. People were rushing around on the streets, trying to make sense of everything. There was no way I could stay in that aprtment in the state I was in, and npot know when the power was gonna come back on. I had to try and get back to Jersey (I had no idea the power wasn't working there.)
So I take my bag, put on my shoes and fumble out of the pitch black apartment. I hit the street and it's chaos. There is no order, just lines of people in all the stores trying to buy as much water as possible. I had no money for water. I just had to wing it. I slowly start walking and my head is reeling and the sounds of sirens everywhere were making my migraine so bad that tears were squeezing out of my eyes. The subways are all shut down and I soon came to the realization that I would have to walk from E. 88th to W. 42nd in a heat wave, with a migraine and nausea, through absolute chaos. You could hardly walk on the streets, because everyone was sitting outside or scrambling to get home.
I start to puke. I puke all over the sidewalk, somewhere in the 70's. People are dodging me as I hurl. I walk a few feet and then throw up some more, this time into a trash can and some little boy walks by and goes, "ew gross." and points at me. I started to cry. By the time I hit the 60's, ambulances are everywhere, loading tons of people into them, giving people oxygen as they sit on the streets. Cameras were snapping pictures of everything. people were climbing the street signs and lights to get high up and snap photos. People were walking in the streets, I saw cars driving on bits of sidewalk to get around people. People were actually climbing on the hoods and the roof of cars and trucks to get rides through the city. Everywhere people were trying in vain to call people on their cell phones, but nobody could get any service. I made it to Grand Central on E. 42nd and there were MOBS of people outside. No one was allowed inside and people were actually near trampling each other just to get down the sidewalk. I watched people get stepped on.
I made it to Port Authority, and saw that it was closed. Hundreds of people were waiting outside, not allowed to even wait inside, since the entire terminal was closed down. No buses were running. I started throwing up again on 8th Ave., a cop trying to push me out of the way to keep me from spraying people. That's when I got in touch with Kaitlin's mom. Luckily she had been listening to the news and she advised me to walk over to the river and find the ferry's. As of then, the ferry's were the only way to get out of the city. I started feleing really faint. I was dehydrated and could barely stand. All the people and the sirens were hurting my head. A woman told me to go to the hospital, but then a cop said you couldn't get into them right now. I decided to walk to the ferry.
Awhile later I got to the ferry, just in time to get a message from Kaitlin's mom, saying "Don't go to the ferry! They just announced that an estimated 100,000 people are waiting in line right now to get on them." She was right. The line was huge. No one knew what they were doing. They just filed behind the mob and decided to wait and try to get out. The tunnels and bridges were closed, the airports were shut down. You could only take the ferry. So I waited in line. I got there at about 5 or 5:30 and stood in the crowd. You couldn't even breathe, it was so packed. People were shoving and pushing from all sides, arguing about their personal space. We moved about 3 feet every twenty minutes. There were news helicopters hovering over us like crazy, all these news cameras filming the crowds and harassing us. I saw 2 pregnant women who were passing out and had to be helped.
After about 2 hours, I dropped. I couldn't stand anymore and I just collapsed in the crowd. People started yelling for help and 2 cops came into the line and each took my arm and helped me stand again. They led me out of the line to the side were there were a few ferry buses waiting. They weren't turned on so they were even hotter than it was outside. But they sat me inside and took my pulse and kept asking if I was alright. there were other people in there who had fainted earlier. I asked for water and they said they had none. I couldn't believe it. My head was reeling and I couldn't stay conscious, but I HAD to. I HAD to stay in that line and get on a ferry. So I forced myself to stand and a cop took me out of the bus and helped me back into line again.
I waited some more. And finally when we were about 50 feet from the ferry entrance, they made an announcement. The ferry's were out of fuel and they couldn't take anymore people across. People started going nuts and screaming and tons of people left, but I couldn't bring myself to. There had to be a way to get across. So me and thousands of people stayed and eventually they got some fuel and started bringing people across again. I got there at 5:30, but didn't get a ferry across until 9:45 and we all stood the entire time. I cried on the ferry. I was surprised I had enbough water left in me to cry. But I was just so happy to get there. I had no idea that...
The worst was yet to come.
I got to Weehawken, NJ only to see that thousands of people were stranded there. It was pitch black and everyone had flash lights and they kept shinging them into your face. You could hardly see. And there was only 2 ways to leave that ferry parking lot. You either had to take a bus to Hoboken, the Meadowlands, or Ft. Lee...or else drive out. I decided to wait for a bus to Hoboken. If I could get on that,I could stay with my cousin Jeremy at his apartment. But there were hundreds of people waiting for those buses. ANd they were loading the buses one at a time. The crowds turned into feverish mobs. Everyone was angry and violent. People were pushing and fighting each other to get on the buses, and people were actually falling down and getting crushed. I couldn't breathe, I had people pressed up against me on all sides. I was swaying and trying not to dry heave. I could barely even open my eyes.
Fights were breaking out right and left. One woman went into labor while being pushed around int he crowd. This started a panic about the baby and before I knew it, someone's elbow connected with my nose and my nose was gushing blood, everywhere. It was running down my neck and onto my shirt. And I started panicking. I could barely even move to hold my nose and when I tried to push my way out of the bus mob, I got pushed and thrown down onto the ground in a pile of flower bushes. I scratched up my arms trying to stand up. A security guard saw me and he ran and got paramedics. How embarrassing. I was helped again by cops and paramedics to an ambulance nearby. They shined bright lights into my eyes and kept asking if I was okay and if I could hear them. They were fixing up my nose (which turned out that the piercing just tore a little and my nose wasn't broken or anything.) and using alcohol to get the blood off of me. I just kept asking if they had water. All I wanted was water. I could barely talk, I was so thirsty and dehydrated. And they told me the worst thing, "No, we don't have any water here at the moment." I started balling, my nose started bleeding more.
I called my aunt Lois. She told me that Rt. 3 was shut down, and because of that, no one could possibly come and pick me up from the ferry. I would either have to stay the night there next to the river, or else take a bus to the Meadowlands and sleep in the parking lot of Giants Stadium. I was hysterical. I called up Kaitlin's mom and told her about everything. It was comforting just hearing her voice and I appreciate so mcuh her putting up with me. I didn't even care about having to sleep there. I just wanted water and there was none. I considered drinking out of the Hudson River. I was actually going to do it, but Patty talked me out of it.
My cell was dying and there was nothing left to do but try and make it until the morning. I started walking around, looking at all the hundreds of other people who were stranded there and sitting or lying on the ground and in the parking lot. I decided to go and look for an empty piece of asphalt to just pass out on until morning. I just needed sleep so I wouldn't have my migraine and I could forget about drinking water for awhile. And just as I was about to lie down and cry myself to sleep, I heard a man yelling.
He was yelling to the bus mobs that he had a station wagon and was willing to give people rides to Mahwah and Ramsey. Now both those places are still like 20 minutes from home, but at least then someone may have been able to drive there and get me. I ran over to him desperately. I couldn't even talk. I was crying and my mouth was so dry that no sound came out of it. He saw me and grabbed my arm and kept saying, "Are you okay? Hey you don't look so good. Are you going to Ramsey?" I just nodded desperately and he held onto me. But so many people took him up on his offer that he couldn't fit us all in his car. But we decided to walk to his car and see if we could all fit by sitting on top of one another and lying down on top of each other. (That's when you know people are desprate, when total strangers agree to sit on each other's laps.)
But then...the voice of an angel. As we were walking towards the car, I heard a voice say, "...free bus to Glen Rock and Ridgewood, if you can fit.) I whirled around and caught sight of a small shuttle bus, that was going to drive people right back to my town for free! I was scared to leave the people I was with, in case something went wrong and I couldn't get on the bus. But by the time I turned back to look at them, they were lost in the crowd already and I had no other choice. I flew over to the bus and got the last seat left on the little shuttle bus. I cried about half of the way home. When they dropped off some people first, I had to get out of the bus and throw up again. When I got back in, all the other passengers were all nice and kept offering me candy and stuff to help me feel better. But all I wanted was water, and of course, no one had any of that.
The shuttle bus dropped me off right outside my house. I hugged the driver so tight, I thought I was going to kill him. And when I got upstairs into my house I I drank 2 tall glasses of water, and 2 sodas, within a few minutes. I felt like throwing it all back up of course, but at least I had some liquid down my throat for awhile.
Today..
Headache, major dehydration, dizzy spells, vomitting. I've got it all. But I am safe and sitting in air conditoner. I have scratches on my arms, a fucked up nose (though no bruising, it's all on the inside) and I keep shaking really badly. I feel like I have a high fever, but don't, and it doesn't help that I can't keep much food or water down. But I am HOME. And I am ALIVE.
I went through fucking hell and back and all I want to do is rest. I want to sleep for days without any hassle from anyone.
I never want to go back to a day like that in NYC again. Maybe it would have been a little better, had I have felt healthy. It was such a hassle and until you deal with a situation like that in person, you don't realize how scary it can be living on an island in a crisis. You can't get out. And people are scared and will stop at nothing to get out. Most people who lived through September 11th, said that yesterday was even more hectic and chaotic then when the terrorist attacks happened. And the news just reported that 50,000 more people were transported off the island than when Spetember 11th happened.
Until you deal with an emergency situation like that yesterday, you can't even begin to imagine what it's like and how dangerous it is living in the city. I know none of my friends will understand, even after I tell my story. But no one would have wanted to be there. I never want to be there again.
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.64 prefer the term ill  of course, you think i'm crazy.
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