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Shawn's Journal

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Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
4:30 pm - a.d.d. always kicks in
it's saturday and i am feeling lackadaisical. that's the word my coach uses all the time. ALL THE TIME. to describe our practices, our games, and us. i like it. it's my fourth favorite word behind fuck, bamboozle, and anadaranjada (orange in spanish).

today i bought new running shoes. as many of you know i have "finger toes" as they've come to be called. and as funny as it sounds i really do need shoes with more room in the toe area. for some reason this really embarasses me. ANYWAY i bought the new shoes and they are so wonderful... so much better than my shoe city $20 reeboks that forced me to cover my feet in band-aids from all the blisters.

after that i ran, despite the fact it was raining. i was actually looking forward to running in the rain, but then it cleared up. i tried out the huntington beach high track today. i am a track whore. i think h.b. was my favorite so far.

then i came home. i have two law papers due. well ok one was due on april 8th, and one just got assigned. there are only two weeks of school left, so i should really get going on them, but a long time ago...i promised myself that i would never have to do homework on the weekends. i work hard during the week so i can have a weekend. but knowing that i have to do this stuff is stressing me out and not allowing me to enjoy my weekend.

and then i have julie tempting me to go to austrailia with her. her parents are paying for her to go as a graduating-from-college-finally gift. BUT i told her i don't have enough money and she reminded me that we will be receiving money from our lawsuit. which i had honestly forgotten about. how do you forget about something like that? espeically when we claimed "relationship problems with men."

i hate when people tempt me like this. you all know how easy i am for vacations. my grandma offered to take me on a road trip this summer too. that wasn't as tempting, because it was to missouri and kansas, but then she threw chicago in to visit my cousin who is in med school and it made it hard to say no. but i had to.

i don't know why, but all this guilt builds up from going on vacations. since i turned 19 i've been on three true fly-away-somewhere vacations and i'm going to new orleans in 20 days. so i sit here and justify to myself: the cruise i paid for myself, boston was a chrismas present and it was to visit my lovely friend andrea, and puerto rico i don't think should even count since i hated my life every day that i was there. (ok that was completely drama queen and uncalled for, but when practice is SIX hours a day how can you call it a vacation?) and since the school covered most of it.

right now my sister is prancing around in her prom dress wearing the shoes she just bought checking to see if i have ankles. a very necessary and noticable part of the body if you ask her i guess.

and now it's about time for me to head over to alix's and make sure she looks presentable for her date. even thought she's already convinced herself that she is undeserving and unfit to date matt. sounds like i'm going to have to do a little more than make sure she likes presentable.

and i'm going to the improv show at 8. in the ghetto.

current mood: bored
current music: missy elliot- hot boys

(4 nakie cats | Skin the cat)

Thursday, May 1st, 2003
3:17 pm - happy 2nd birthday
today my journal is 2.

current mood: amused
current music: happy birthday song

(Skin the cat)

Wednesday, April 30th, 2003
10:30 pm - in pain
ok ok ok. so i did three miles today. and now i wish i could inject myself with some muscle relaxors.

but it felt so good out there. alix and marci both have dates this weekend. and now so do i. because running is my new boyfriend. and me and him have dates all weekend long.

now but seriously i have to go to an improv show and a play for extra credit in my comic spirit class. and a girl on my team is going to pay me to get a ticket for her. too bad jay was going to go anyway (to the play at least) but i'm still going to make her pay.

it is the end of the semester and i feel that i am losing brain cells as i sit in my classes with these idiots. my first semester i met this girl named Casey. she was a junior and everyone in our class would raise their hand and give thier opinions. i don't need to stress how uniteresting and how unbelievebly mind-numbing these opinions were. and i remember her saying, "AND THEY'RE ALL LIKE THIS. EVERYONE AT THIS SCHOOL."

which was of course an exaggeration. but there sure are a fuck load of people who think they need to raise their hand and give their bullshit.

anyway back to the point. i don't feel bad about making her pay. because FUCK i have to sit in the damn class. she has missed at least 2 months worth. so she owes me for even finding out that we could get extra credit. that's right!!

i am justifying it.

current mood: bitchy
current music: the cure- i'll stop the world

(Skin the cat)

4:47 pm - quotes of the day
"we've defeated natural selection when we let stupid people reproduce."- my dad

"everything goes fast in new york, especially the buildings." -comic spirit teacher

"Every Man was a play written about, well Every Man and all their sins....now don't all you bitches in here think you got away with everything...it was talking about you too."
- comic spirit teacher

kings game tonight at 8. i suggest everyone watch the team that is going to kick the lakers ass in the conference finals.

my legs are really sore, in an attempt to get exercise i bravely dared to run. for those of you who don't know... i hate running with the fire of a thousand suns. i used to make up excuses for not having to run in middle school. i used to PRAY for a rainy day and we all know how much i pray. one of the main reasons i decided to join water polo as a freshman in high school was to avoid the track. my motto used to be, "why run if you don't have to?"

now not to say that has not all changed, but it's for fucking sure you would have never seen me out running on a track 3 years ago. anyway i coerced jay to go run around the track with me...the very same track i dreaded as an 11 year old. and of course i still suck horrible. i did a mile and a half (NOTE: that was not all running...but i know no one assumed it was). jay on the other hand lapped me and did two miles. guess i am the out of shape one...

swimming does not prepare you for that shit. put me in a pool and i could go forever. but with running (or jogging) it's not like that. i just want to close my eyes and die. but then again when i'm doing a hard swim set i want to close my eyes and die then too.

i think the difference is the whole standing thing. even during sprints in swimming, it's not nearly as hard as running, how could it be? you're fucking flat in the water. you don't have to support yourself.

yeah and it's also because this is my sixth year swimming and my second DAY running.

but that's my new career.

well we had our water polo meeting.

we have our banquet on may 18th. which i am dreading. not because i think it's going to be boring, because i think it's going to be emotional. i am a baby. i cry at little things. i feel pretty connected to my team. people are graduating. people are getting awards. we just completed the single most succesful season in the history of the school. i am going to get all choked up and cry. and jesus it's only been a year on the team.

in high school i don't remember crying at my senior banquet, but i'm sure i did. i know i did at swimming, because that was OVER OVER. i remember going into the bathroom with staella and just being amazed that four years of my life had just displaced themself like that. poof! i had just gone through 8 seasons of water polo and swimming in no time.

as for the rest of high school...it could go to hell. i think i shit myself at graduation i was so happy.

onto the track i go!! wish me luck.

current mood: sad
current music: jay z

(5 nakie cats | Skin the cat)

Sunday, April 27th, 2003
10:58 am - that's ignorance, that's b.s.
i am really really itchy. last night i went to some residence inn that julie had rented to fuck her fuck buddy and we went in the spa (I was invited over inbetween fucking sessions)and whatever was in that jacuzzi made me itch like no other.

so we were walking around the irvine spectrum to go to dinner and i was scratching myself in all kinds of places. let me tell you. i remember the gianakakos's pool used to do that same thing. flashback to seventh grade when i got out of that pool. except we were walking around metro pointe and i was wearing a dress and it itched 1000 times worse. and i remember standing in the line at jamba juice with such an urge to just scratch my butt, that i ran into the bathroom and just scratched away. it was the ultimate relief.

now 7 years later i don't give a shit. but it also didn't itch as bad.

so anyway that was my night. bye bye.

current mood: irritated

(Skin the cat)

Friday, April 25th, 2003
2:17 pm - just me being me
against all odds i didn't go to san francisco this weekend.

deep down i knew i didn't want to go. i never wanted to go...ok i did in the begining when we were going to fly and i was going to stay at liz's all weekend and jay was going to come with me and it was going to be fun.

then jay couldn't come.

i still was going to go.

then the airline tickets were mucho dinero.

still i wanted to see the games.

then liz was going away for the weekend.

i kinda lost interest in going...but i did have that little glimpse of wanting to see us beat USC,( of course i don't KNOW this is going to happen, i'm just being optimistic)

but i still was going to go. leave early. drive up there.

then my stomach kicked it. i didn't well good much of last night after eating dinner. and i woke up feeling naseous.

i didn't want to take the chance of getting sick on the road...i mean COME ON! who wants to be throwing up or having the shits on a 6 hour road trip that ends with no definete place of staying somewhere.

so i canceled. i didn't go. i couldn't pull through.

and while if we win all our games, i will regret not going...i still don't think it's worth a 6 hour drive with MAURA to stay...???...to see ONE game a DAY only. and if we did win our last game would be at 3 so therefore i wouldn't get home tell 11-12 on sunday night and i have mucho tarea to do.

so i stayed. feel guilty. going to feel bad if we win. but then when i think about it, if we win, we're going to NCAA championships in san diego. and i can go to that for sure. so then it's not like i'll miss everything. and if we lose, well i've seen that happen before, eh?

so that was my decision. it was one of those ones i know where no matter what i do i'll wish i was doing the other thing. but i'm coming to terms with it. (this is me being drama.)

currently i have done all the dishes, washed/folded all the towels. cleaned the bathroom, hung up all my clothes, vaccummed the house, whitened my teeth, checked out hotels for new orleans, gotten lots of sleep, AND re-written half my paper for my law re-write.

so i'm getting shit done, this isn't a total waste.

current mood: guilty
current music: travis-good feeling

(Skin the cat)

Sunday, April 20th, 2003
4:08 pm - the times for a change
it's hotter than a whore house on nickel night in my house right now. i want to change my clothes and crawl into my bed and sleep the next four weeks away. sleep until it's summer. sleep until it's christmans. sleep until it's summer. and then sleep until it's christmas again. graduate college and be on my way with my life.

oh no it's not that bad at all. i just have zero tolerance for essays, reading, studying, taking notes, paying attention, learning, writing, and/or school.

i am at a low low point right now.

i have hopefully a C in my C/LA 490 class, which should technically be the easiest class of my life, but it's ripping me a new one.

i have a B----- in geography 100. come on now!! geography 100? are you kidding me? i have 99 points out of 120.

i have an A+ in music. and i NEVER go. i cheat on the exams. i think he wants us to. i don't feel bad about it at all.

i have a who the fuck knows what because i haven't got in three class meetings in my law class. attendance does count in that one. i have written one essay which i got a b-/c+ on and haven't even looked at the prompt for the next one. i can rewrite the first one if i want to. now i see why teachers give that opportunity. because all the people like me out there who are too damn lazy to re-evalutate and go back to fix up the essay.

and lastly comic spirit. let's see exam wise i have a B and a C+. papers i have a B. attendance is perfect. hmmmmm. who the HELL knows where that one is heading. i haven't done any of the reading we were assigned to do over spring break.

right now i am sitting in my chair complaining about all this, instead of attempting to make the situation better. instead of trying to get ahead in something, anything. i'd rather sit her and complain about it. can't it be over already?????

for the love of god. i must go back tomorrow.

san francisco next weekend...anyone?

current mood: blah

(4 nakie cats | Skin the cat)

Saturday, April 19th, 2003
6:24 pm - i am full
how motherfucking sick is that guy who killed his wife and unborn child?

as a morbid sidenote: if i am ever murdered or in some tragic accident of some kind that gets publicity...please for my sake don't let strangers come up and put crosses on my yard and say things like, "she's with the lord now."

that's your duty as my friends.

thanks.

current mood: full

(1 nakie cat | Skin the cat)

Thursday, April 17th, 2003
2:59 pm - santa barbara
so i totally forgot and undersetimated and didn't fully think through how i have to go to my game tomorrow.

i thought it would only be the travel team people since it's all the way in santa barbara, but as it turns out....we're not staying the night, so we're all expected to go.

yes that's right i will spend all day tomorrow in a van. traveling to santa barbara. sitting on the bench. and then coming home.

oh blasted world.

in other news...i actually did some homework today. you know in time management tips they always tell you to do the hard things first to get them out of the way, which totally makes sense. but the way i see it is, i can't focus until i do all the easy things and get them out of the way.

anyway i am contemplating a jet blue flight to oakland. never been there. maura (one of the weird weird girls on the team) said she could get a car to the oakland airport for us to drive back to stanford in.

but the prices that i originally planned are for a time that i will be in my lovely lovely law class.

i'm also in the middle of searching for things to do in new orleans and hotels, but with limited responses from cristina, it's hard to book a hotel when i don't know how many people are going to be there. i wish i wish i wish people would cooperate.

i am very tired. must attend to my laundry now.

current mood: sleepy

(Skin the cat)

Wednesday, April 16th, 2003
1:20 pm - hmmmmm
next weekend (april 25-28th) is our conference finals at Stanford. I can't decide whether i want to drive up there or pay mucho dinero and fly, but then be stranded with no car.

it's quite the dilemma. i looked at flights and they are very expensive.

can i just tell everyone that i love love love to find airplane tickets. it is just so exciting to me.

anyway i can fly to oakland for 78, but that is quite near stanford and therefore i would have to contact a willing somebody to come and get me.

who knows what i should do. we play uci today at 4 at long beach. i have to leave soon to go and set up the wonderful pool deck.

current mood: full

(Skin the cat)

Monday, April 14th, 2003
11:39 pm - what's up fools?
just sitting at home, my parents went to laguna beach for the night.

ate too many cookies and am very full.

rained all day and i was supposed to go to the beach.

i have practice tomorrow morning, and then jay and i want to go to ripley's believe it or not.

well we wanted to go to the wild animal park, but it's too far and too expensive and it closes at 4.

i wanted to get a head-start on my homework and shit, but i haven't been able to do that so far.

i cleaned my room. well pretty much, just need to vaccuum.

i'm full full full....my mom's cookies are evil..they keep saying...eat me eat me.

current mood: awake
current music: chicago soundtrack in my head

(Skin the cat)

Saturday, April 12th, 2003
7:32 pm - i hate A WALK TO REMEMBER
so i bought my ticket. 323.50. that's what happens when you want to fly out of john wayne.

i leave on may 23 at 6:45 AM. oh yay. haha i have a final on that day. i crack myself up.

anyway i also looked at my schedule and played around with it.

i hate the movie a walk to remember.

pleeeeeeeeeeease.

it should be outlawed...leading girls to believe that there are guys out there like that.

please.


note to everyone who has unfortuanately seen it: they only get married so they can FUCK.

current mood: bitter
current music: a walk to remember music.

(1 nakie cat | Skin the cat)

Thursday, April 10th, 2003
11:59 am - failure
yeah i didn't go to class AGAIN.

don't get the wrong impression. i am still one motherfucking good student. i just happen to skip a lot of days.

erica and all her friends are home eating.

this bothers me because:
1.) everyone always thinks my friends eat all the food, but really she brings at least two people home A DAY for lunch.

2.) i was liking having the house to myself. hurry up isn't it 12:12 already?

3.) i just want to be ALONE!!!

ok that's the same as #2 but i don't give a fuck...


anyway i missed class, my second one was canceled, i have practice at 2 and maybe i'll go early and talk to cunt rebecca.

happy birthday jay.

current mood: awake

(Skin the cat)

Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
5:58 pm - thanks ash...love bitch
anyway i have one more class until i am out for spring break.

yeah all you fools were laughing before because i had to go to class...but now it's my turn...it's sunny, warm, and i am going to have a very quiet and lonely spring break.

in which i will take the time to turn my slipping grades into A'S

yeah right.

so this is what's going on..i do this for my sanity...not because any of you give a shit.

tomorrow i have a dentist appointment, law class, must go talk to rebecca, then practice the out for jay's birthday.

i got him a jacket and some candy so far. i am broke. i am uncreative. i am a horrible girlfriend. i think i will be making a target run later tonight. i wanted to get him a gift certificate to get a massage, but i thought that might be a little too homo. and plus i was too lazy to find a parking spot at skin deep.

anyway moving on. friday i have practice.

saturday and sunday i have the l.b. tournament. if anyone is dying to see me play water polo (or dying to see me in my bathing suit HA!) i will actually be playing in the games this weekend. or at least on saturday.

they are at 9:10, 12 something and 4 something...check longbeachstate.com. and come see me rock out with my cock out. haven't heard that in awhile.

ok then monday i have off. tuesday practice. wednesday uci game. thursday practice. friday santa barbara.

over break i have to rewrite my law paper, start the second one, do my geography quiz, start studying for the final, watch movies for comic spirit, and do papers for c/la.

anyway i just planned my life for the next week.

i'm ambitious.

current mood: devious

(2 nakie cats | Skin the cat)

5:30 pm - wahahah
this isnt shawn... it's ashley... the bitch shawn ordered me to change her picture so i figured id add an entry too..haha i love shawn shes great and i love bonding with the eldridge family..hahah

(Skin the cat)

1:25 am - what i did today or commiting academic suicide in my law class
basically this sums it up:

last night i was in a deep deep sleep, the kind of sleep only a murdering psychopath would wake you up from, and even then it would be after the first blow...or maybe it was the deep sleep where a spider crawling around on your arm could wake you up.

why yes indeed that was they kind of sleep it was.

because at 4:32 am yesterday morning, i awoke to something tapping it's eight little legs up and down my arm. how i awoke to this madness? i don't know.

but i do sleep with my nightlights on because i am a 19 year old who can't sleep in the dark (unless i'm not alone) and i felt the little spidey crawling on me. I saw him immediately in the light, and somehow i held back a scream.

but i jumped out of my bed, swatting him off in the process, only to leave him roaming freely on my bed.

stupitified, i just watched him roam right into my down blanked.

now what was i to do? i knew he was in there. i coudln't possibly attempt to go back to sleep with that blanket in my room.

so i threw it off the bed, and checked the bed thoroughly for the spider.

after that i beat the shit out of the blanket, it hopes he would could tumbling out, in which case i would smash the fuck out of him.

but he didn't. so i couldn't.

i wanted to call jay and ask him what to do. i wanted to scream and ask my parents what to do.

WAIT...all this drama over a spider???

be rational i told myself. he fell out. he's gone.

i threw the blanket back on my bed and decided just to kick it one more time to make sure the spider was gone for good.

it was that kick that sent him flying out back to roam the bed.

this time he wasn't catching me off guard. smashed into the tissue he went. back in the bed i went.

but i wasn't quite ready to be covered by the blanket. oh no. i know spiders have their whole damn spider family. i didn't trust the blanket.

at 6 am i trusted the blanket because i was freezing my ass off, and i am one of those people who must sleep with a blanket over me.

i know we swallow shit loads of spiders in our lifetime in our sleep.

but i REFUSE to be awake during the process.

anyway spending all the time up, keeping me away from sleep, allowed be to justify missing my law class for the fourth time...on the day the essay i haven't even read the prompt for yet was due.

am i a fuck up or what?

my ditch schedule

music: 5 times
geography: twice
comic spirit: once
law: 4 times
c/la 490: 0
practice: once that counts.


bad bad girl.

current mood: immoral

(Skin the cat)

Monday, April 7th, 2003
5:34 pm - just registered
attempted to do the new on-line registering. didn't work. that i was just being myself and computer incapable, but as it turned out...everyone was a tard today because the system didn't work. so i didn't like back in fall 02...through the phones.

although they updated that system do, and i must say i no likey likey.

so here it is...officially the shittiest schedule on the face of this earth:

monday
7-9 practice
11-12:15 posc 215-issues of comparative politics
2-5 practice
6:30-9:15 posc 300A- political inquiry

(notice all the time gaps? yeah that sucks)

tuesday
7-9 practice
9:30-10:45 W/ST 365I- women and popular culture
11-1:45- chem 100 lab
2-3:15- chem lecture
ruuuuuun to practice
2-5 practice

(notice the lack of time gaps)

wednesday
7-9 practice
11-12:15 posc 215
2-5 practice
6:30-9:15 posc 311- constitutional law power

(more gaps)

thursday
7-9 practice
9:30-10:45 w/st 365I
2-3:15 chem lec
2-5 practice

DIE DIE DIE!!!

that not the best schedule i could have worked out for myself, but trust me, i tried.

current mood: frustrated
current music: 8 mile

(2 nakie cats | Skin the cat)

Saturday, April 5th, 2003
4:47 pm - the waves keep on crashing on me for some reeeeason
i am going to have skin cancer before i am 25. i am burnt and tan.

but what's the worse is my eyes.

they sting and burn.

last night i watched red dragon and faced my fears and i am no longer afarid of red dragon.

yay!

current mood: awake

(1 nakie cat | Skin the cat)

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003
8:42 pm - bad mood
that's what i'm in. i have nothing to do.

i have been desperately searching for an airline ticket, and my mom said i can't fly out of lax. which is annoying because everywhere else is over $3oo, but it's her money so whatever.

I AM BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED!!!!

when you're good to mama, mama's good to you!!!

current mood: bored

(Skin the cat)

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003
1:40 am - no, honestly
can i please tell someone how much i fucking adore geography?

OK there i did!!

that shit turns me on.
like michele from south africa (frined of andrew's (another south african) who i met in miami last august) and by met i meaned stared at and drolled over.

BECAUSE HE HAS A FUCKING SEXY ACCENT.

you can not take a tan muscular body, blonde hair and blue eyes, white straight teeth and nice smile person and give them a fucking south african accent BECAUSE it will cause orgasms in all female species.

why am i discussing this?

two reasons:

we are learning about africa in geography, and i am begining my population data assignment.

the above-mentioned boner getter is coming here soon. being shipped directly to my pants hopefully.


anyway moving on.

i ripped the guy in my group a new one for not e-mailing me the paper on time. he sent it last night at 1:21 am.

yes i did volunteer myself to type the outline. but if i'm doing the work, you're getting it to me by my standards...which was saturday...not tuesday at 1 in the morning the day before it's due.

we get graded individually so i told him to suck my big cock..

no really here's our conversation..

him (walking into class late): did you get my e-mail?
me: no
him: i sent it to you last night
me: i told you to send it saturday
him: well did you get it this morning?
me: No i didn't get it, i checked my e-mail saturday
him: well if you knew you didn't have it, why didn't you call me?
me: well if you knew it wasn't done and i had told you to have it to
me by saturday and you weren't going to...why didn't you call me?
him: well i don't understand why you wouldn't call
me: (giving dirty look) i did my part
shannon(other group member): she told us to have it by saturday, we were waiting for you to call, so sit down.

FUCK YOU JACQUE!!!

current mood: excited
current music: for michele, my african

(Skin the cat)


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