5 and dime philosopher's LiveJournal Entries [entries|friends|calendar] 5 and dime philosopher [ website | A Day the Weekend Threw ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

addy [13 Nov 2002|08:14pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | the new pearl jam cd ] i know i asked all of you for your addy for xmas cards (and thanks to the people who have told me), so i thought i would put mine up here, 'cos i know a few of you asked for it, and i don't have time to email everyone, plus i have a new addy anyway. so, here it is. liz hutsell 617 3rd Ave. conway, ar 72032 *tada* 3 comments|post comment

need your addy for xmas cards. so send it, damnit [12 Nov 2002|02:03am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | bnl - pinch me ] yeah, send your addy's to biffah@aol.com, so i can send ya all xmas cards. ALL OF YOU. so yeah, *ahem* send it. if you don't email me your addy, i'll harrass you. and if you think i already have your addy, i probably don't, since i lost so much in the move. so please send me your addy, b/c i am poor this xmas, and all i'll be able to afford is xmas cards anyway. but i promise that they will be cool, with a surprise in 'em. 'cos i'm a creative wankah that way. went with mom to go xmas shopping today for me. she gives me the money, i buy what i want, and wrap it up, and wait for xmas day. got some movies and some cds today......will shop at spirits landing tomorrow. really have no plans of what i want this year. don't really want much of anything, really. but yeah, that's about it. still trying to decide on what i want to do for turkey day this year. the friend thing or the family thing........maybe both. 1 comment|post comment

boring....skip [10 Nov 2002|11:42pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | jeff buckley - dido's lamnet ] very ho-hum evening tonight. kinda hiding out and the like. staying over at my parents tonight to do laundry and actually get a decent nights sleep. will enjoy my day off tomorrow. mom and dad came up to the store today, and dad finally met cat, and she read his spirit guides, and he got all giddy (!) and actually believes in that stuff now. it was interesting to watch,indeed. it's odd not going out tonight. sunday nights are usually me and craig nights, where we stay up all night and chat about the most inane things, BUT, he did go out with this scary guy this weekend, and i'm sure he'll be chatty about that one, but i'm too sick and too tired to get out. found out some intersting things today that i will talk about at a later date when i can. what is a good movie to watch when you are sick? 9 comments|post comment

what a way to end the day [10 Nov 2002|01:32am] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | fucking creed, that fucking 'higher' creed song. bastards ] *ugh* i walked in the house just in time to hear my roomie and her man in full orgasm, and the jerk-offs across the street are blaring Creed at top volume. and i have a bug that has made me go to the bathroom every 5 minutes for the past 6 hours. but, i made some money giving readings tonight. *twirls finger in the air* *runs to the bathroom* 6 comments|post comment

[09 Nov 2002|01:50am] [ mood | scared ] [ music | frente - air ] my friend micha is in trouble. bad trouble. and me and cat and hawk and rhonda and craig and a bunch others are going to try and help him within the next week or so. i don't want to get too much into, just because it is scary, and it's hard for people to understand, but it's gonna take a lot of strength and courage to pull this one off. i saw him tonight in the store, and i wasn't looking into his eyes. i was looking into someone elses. and his body would shake. and convulse. and his eyes would act funny. and the whole thing saddened and scared me, because i've never seen it up close before. and now i'm smudging sage everywhere, just to get the negetive energy away from me. and i've never seen someone so scared before, in such need of help. and the whole store now seems weird, and we are not sure what it is. and i'll apologize to the spirits tomorrow, for bringing in such a spirit, but we are still learning on how to help him. and it's so sad to look at beautiful micha, and see him searching for a way out. and he's trapped. and i pray to God he finds his way out. and i hope i'm strong enough to do this. post comment

more love shit from liz...you might want to skip this one *sigh* [07 Nov 2002|02:10am] [ mood | weird ] [ music | pixies - here comes your man ] i'm never one to question love. (that line was bullshit by the way) well, i'm never one to really think about it. (bullshit again) but anyway, met a fantastic person today. a person i could fall in love with. a person i could cherish forever. but... (and there is always a but with me) to start off, i've kinda met him before. and he was at the halloween party, and we kinda talked, but i left him alone because i thought he was dating the girl he was with. well, he's not, and i wish i would have known. anyway, he came in tonight for a reading, and we sat back there forever, just doing silly readings and such. and he's wonderful. and beautiful. and brilliant. and witty. and too much for me to think about it. why is this a problem, you ask? he's leaving tomorrow for peru for the peace corps. just my luck. and who knows when he'll be back. but i know he liked me, also. and you could see him trying to figure out why, since i'm not a typical beauty or anything. but after the first reading, he just looked at me and said he wanted another. and then we just started playing with the cards for a while. and then he said, 'now i'm going to draw a card for you.' and he did. and it was the King of Cups. and i about fainted. and i was all like, 'wow, nice card you gave me. i might actually start dating again.' and he said, 'maybe'. and i died. my soul went through my body and out to him. and he just smiled at me. and i could feel it. FEEL IT. and i didn't know what to do with it, because i haven't felt it in so long, and this guy was just sucking my energy, but giving me back his. and i just wanted to hold him. and he wouldn't leave, although his roomie was out there waiting on him so that he could pack for his trip. and i just about cried. because this is year 3, the year i was supposed to meet someone and fall in love, and i did in a sense, but he's going away for a couple of years, and i didn't even have the strength to give him my address. and i know i can hear from him from cole and hampton, so i guess that's ok. but the party. i could have talked to him. and i did. and looking back now, it's all so clear. it was just him and me out on the garage. he was eating, i was smoking. and i talked to him, introduced myself again, and he was really quiet. then that girl came out that i thought he was with. and they went in. and i finished my smoke, and i stared to go inside, and i saw him walk out there to smoke, without the girl, and now it's all clear. he was actually coming out there to talk to me. (b/c you could smoke in the house) and now i feel horrible, like, once again i missed my fucking chance, because i'm so blind when it comes to all this shit. and cat said she could hear us laughing at the front of the store, which is odd, because he never laughs. he's always quiet. and we were laughing about everything. and he didn't want to get up. and i didn't want to get up. and i remember never thinking he was that attractive, because he never talked, and i thought he had a chip on his shoulder. but once he opened his mouth, i was lost inside of it. and his last card was something that will always be with him, and it was a woman. a woman who is polar opposite of him. and when i told him this, i could tell he was looking at me. and i so badly wanted to look back, but i was too afraid. and i said, 'does that make sense?' and he said 'perfect'. and now he's off to peru. and i'm back at where i started. and i hope to god this isn't an obsessive crush for me like the last one. please god, no. 6 comments|post comment

a random poem about a dream [06 Nov 2002|08:35pm] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | tonya donelly - lantern ] Chasing Currants I saw him out in a field chasing currants, and the little black girl running with him had light shining through her eyes. The air was so thick in front of my face I could wave it away with my hand, and the Arkansas humidity started to swim in my hair. His voice, her laughter, echoed off of the trees and bounced back to me, dissolving down the back of my neck. The sweat from my forehead dripped into my eyes, turing the whole situation into a blur. Turing it all into a dream. And there I was, twelve years old, with a popsicle dripping down my hand. It felt like Wednesday, but it was only the weekend, and I claimed this field as my own. You were there with a toy gun in your hand, and you stared at me in such a manner that I began to feel afraid. Yet you ran off with the other boys, laughing at my innocence, and my need to chase the currants. The whippoorwills sing and snap me back to the present. The blurriness fades away as the sun sets and the crickets come out as i hear you whisper, "She used to be just like you, and now I am who she used to be." A tear replaced the sweat and I knew you were right, and I knew my days of chasing currants was over. c. liz hutsell 2002 post comment

just keep your eyes on her [06 Nov 2002|10:29am] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | tripping daisy - bedhead ] well, it's official. i have a dollar to my name. that's right. $1.00. woo! i'm going through my change so that i can buy ciggies for work today, and hopefully i'll make some money today. this is NOT fun. one fucking dollar. brilliant. but, my mom was nice and bought me the new tori cd, which is cool. last night i slept 12 hours because the night before i didn't sleep anything. came home, wanted to go to bed, but the roof was leaking above my bed again, so my whole bed was soaked. went back over to cory's to sleep, and i just couldn't. AND wendi (my roomie) and her man have been using MY towels in the bathroom, so i have none to dry off with. so i get to go do laundry for the 2nd time this week because of those selfish bastards. and i have a dollar to my name. just kill me now. 4 comments|post comment

[04 Nov 2002|02:33am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | tori amos - virginia ] "he is out chasing currents..." post comment

belated halloween party [03 Nov 2002|05:43am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | joan osburn - son of a preacher man ] was fun. fun. fun. fun. would probably be more *hip hip horray* about it if i wasn't so tired, and it wasn't near 6 in the morning. anyway, me, craig, wendi, and rhonda drove way the hell out there to cats house (in little italy). foggy, rainy night.......and our costumes kicked so much ass. (will post pics as soon as i get them developed) no one could believe it was really me, since i had my hair done up and was wearing makeup and the like. and craig was adorable as a woodlen elf, wendi was really cool as the snake woman, and rhonda went as a romantic-period vampire. not too many people were there, but enough to have fun. wish i would have won the halloween costume prize. pregnant nun chicka won a new dvd player. i know! it was kickass. and my new friend mike went as miss cleo, and that was cool. yummy vodka-like punch that made us all feel trippy. i'm sure someone spiked it with something. and i actually allowed myslef to take a few hits of the numerous pipes going around. and cat gave us all incense cones, and we had to think about whatever we wanted to get rid of (like being to concieted, too lazy, etc.) and force all the negativity into the cones. we then went outside to her bonfire, and said aloud what we wanted to get rid of, and then we all threw our cones into the fire. this wonderful smell filled the air, and i felt 100 times better right afterwards. i wished to get rid of a lot of things, so we'll see. i'm too damn tired, but i must go wash my face and get all the glitter off of it. and all the cute new men i met tonight were gay. my luck. 3 comments|post comment

odd dreams and excitment [02 Nov 2002|02:47pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | tori amos - precious things ] sitting here with all my hair in curlers. i really feel white trash arkansas right about now. but, getting ready for the party. wendi just decided that she's gonna go as a snake woman, which will be cool. made my costume last night for the party.........loving it. lady of the forest, indeed. will take pictures. had the weirdest dream last night. i was going after tom waits, but he wouldn't talk to me. he would only talk to cory, and that made me mad. like, why wouldn't he talk to me? and then, he was laying with my grandmother on the couch, and i was really confused then. anyway, russel crowe walks up and starts talking to me. but not just russel crowe.....russel crowe from 'a beautiful mind'. and i didn't like him, and he didn't like me. but we went to this movie. and i fell asleep. and he left me this note telling me that he likes me now, and for me to go outside and find him. anyway, to make a long dream short, we end up getting married. what does this mean? does this mean that i'm going for the wrong type of guys? or i am just a bit off? *sigh* 3 comments|post comment

halloween wedding [01 Nov 2002|01:25am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | t.a.t.u. ] WONDERFUL! had a blast, and it was a beautiful wedding. very cool...that's how i want mine one day. on top of the mountain, at sunset, with wonderful vows, hand fasting, and jumping over the broom and everything. tre cool indeed. the reception was too damn fun. beer, wine, wonderful punch, and the best damn spinach dip ever. saw a lot of old friends, and we all sat around and gushed over the bride and groom. cole was wearing the purple velvet dress, with black lace over it, and black witches boots, and hampton was wearing an old gothic tux, with top hat, and dragon cane. lots of people were dressed up in black, and halloween costumes, and me and craig were actually dressed up which surprised a lot of people. did the all black thing with a long, burgandy duster, and craig in all black also. and it was sweet. cat and cole danced together to some song that they were singing to each other, and i was just thinking: i wonder if me and my mom would do that? everyone was dancing around, and being merry, and i swear, its the best time i've had in forever. me and craig are coming up with our costumes now for the big halloween bash saturday night. he's going as an elf, and i'm going to go as the lady of the forest. a.k.a. the keeper of the forest. will take pictures, for all to see. we are hot gluing like crazy right now, and thank god we watch hgtv. anyway, hope all had a wonderful halloween, like i did. the spirits and air was really alive tonight. post comment

thanks for the beats... [31 Oct 2002|01:48pm] R.I.P. Jam Master Jay (it's just not right) 1 comment|post comment

good day, relaxing evening [30 Oct 2002|05:27pm] [ mood | giggly ] [ music | tripping daisy - motivation ] good day today reading people....made around 40 bucks, which isn't bad since i didn't read too many people, and we were only open half a day. craig gave me the coolest donation from the store.....he bought me this soap i've been wanting forever. goats milk soap with peaches and cream in it. yum. and he got me a blue tigers eye stone, magnifies the inner aspect of any situation, and it holds great power for the owner. near close, it was like a reuinion of sorts, with everyone up there.....craig, cory, rhonda, dave, hannah, david, micha, and a few others. it was nice to see them all, and me and cat were all giggly. and rhonda came running out after we left and said, 'cat said i love you!', which is cool. cat treats us all like her kids, and it's nice to hear. if she knows and likes you, she loves you, which is totally kick ass. so, continuing good day, bought a big cheese pizza, got a mintchocolatechip ice cream, and rented 3 movies (y tu mama tambien, vulgar, and happy campers). tomorrow is cole's wedding....we are all really excited. it will be on top of petie jean mountain, and the reception will be here in town at the brazilian chicken, this really wonderful resturant. then HALLOWEEN PARTY SATURDAY NIGHT! costume party at cats, and we will all be doing rituals and stuff, with lots of booze, and tons of friends and new strangers. also made some new friends out of the people that i read today, and a lot of students are coming in for honors college and doing a thesis paper on the store, which is interesting. must figure out halloween costume. probably will go as a butterfly nymph. that's it for now........ post comment

the new tori amos album is [30 Oct 2002|12:04am] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | tori - don't make me come to vegas ] KICKASS! and just not saying that b/c i'm such a tori freak, but it's damn fucking good. totally different sound, and i'm in love. 'wednesday' is sooooooooo jazzy. and 'gold dust' is probably the most beautiful thing she's done in forever. ah........now, haven't bought it, but i'm with craig listening to it, and we keep playing it over and over. and 'another girl's paradise' sounds fleetwood macish. kickass. must buy this soon, and loose myself in it. 4 comments|post comment

i have nothing better to do.....thanks tristanwolf [28 Oct 2002|05:30pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | sinead o'conner - thank you for hearing me ] 1. What's the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? i really wanted to be a fasion designer. i made clothes for my barbies and such. 2. Describe a dream you remember. i have my reaccuring cliff dream that is horrible. and then i have a lot of dreams about matthew perry. what's that all about? 3. What book are you reading? bronte, wuthering heights 4. What colour are your sheets? cream with butterflies and cute little things like that all over them. 5. What song is in your head right now? fear, by sarah mc. 6. Waitaminnit... Where are you? conway, arkansas. 7. I am afraid of...: bridges over mass bodies of water. 8. Your day job/dream job: i'm a tarot reader. i want to be a published/respected poet. 9. What movie have you seen the most times? ummm....say anything and frankie and johnnie 10. One question for Jesus, or Buddha or Muhammed, etc: so, what's next? 0 11. The guilty pleasure you'd really rather not admit to here: this one is silly....i dunno. masturbation? 12. Comfort food of choice: mashed potatoes. 13. What's the last video you rented? the joy luck club. 14. Who do people say you look like? i really don't think i look like anyone. when i was younger and thinner in high school, the drama department labled me jennifer lason leigh. 15. What's the bane of your existence? sleep. 16. What's the last thing you found on the ground and picked up? um, i really try not to do that one. so probably some money. 17. A writer worth reading: fredrick douglass. syliva plath. ts eliot. amy tan. erica jong. henry james. 18. Where would you like to grow old? in a cabin somewhere, writing. 19. A word of wisdom: if someone offers you a piece of gum, and/or a breathmint, take it and chew it. 20. The question you get asked ALL THE TIME!!!: liz, did you bring your cards with you? 21. When was your last hospital visit? when i was taken to the emergancy room for a urinary tract infection, but in all actuallity, i was just coming down off of prozac. 22. The last thing you said out loud: it's too cold to go outside. 23. Current clothing: my sunflower tee and panties. 24. Your favourite season: winter. 25. In my last lifetime I was probably: someone horrible. this i know. 1 comment|post comment

an extra hour of sleep? not me. [27 Oct 2002|06:39pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | tori amos - taxi ride ] nope, didn't sleep an extra hour. i was the shit that stayed up the extra hour. reading, actually, after the party. just finished 'the catcher in the rye' and now i'm on my way to 'wuthering hights'. looking forward to xmas, because mom is going to let me loose in the book and music store, and i'll be able to catch up on shit i'm missing. i gotta get some money together for tori's new release on tuesday. i'm in a mood to say 'shit' a lot. my friend eric left friday for new york to live. it was odd seeing him leave, especially since i haven't seen him in a while anyway. and you could tell it was hard for him to leave, like he really didn't want to, but he knew that he had to, to start a new life somewhere else. he came up to the store, and i hugged him about 20 times, and we realized that that was the first time we had talked one-on-one......usually we were with other people. it's odd......that whole starting over bit. am i jealous? scared for him? the medicine that cat made me for my gout is fucking amazing. no leg pain at ALL today, and i can actually stand up straight on that leg. shit. the oddest mood today........time change, maybe? the realization that christmas is coming up soon? it's always odd to spend the holidays alone. i always have. nope, no love thinking today. yes, i will be the old woman with 500 cats that kids run away from the house 'cos i'm the old witch lady. but i'm not a witch. yeah, weird mood today. anyone else feel the weirdness today? 7 comments|post comment

love nights that end in girly chat [27 Oct 2002|04:26am] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | jimmy eat world - sweetness (on the radio) ] time change. have an extra hour to stay up. anyway, home now. party went well, as i said before. it was me, cory, andy, craig, and rhonda left at the end. cory got out his runes and read some of us, and me and andy had a nice long chat about certain friends we have who are horrible, and how can we help them? me and rhonda talked FOREVER about childhood and the like, and she was telling me what it was like to live in arkansas when she was young as half asian. amazing how different we lived growing up. how different our first kisses were, are first sexual experiences, and the first time we fell in love. she told me that people used to call her, when she was young, 'doo doo girl', and i was called 'lizardsbreath' and how horrible it was to be outcasted b/c of your skin colour and/or your name. and how it was amazing that in the 9th grade or so we were getting excited about kissing boys, and how girls today are having sex at that age. and it was odd to re-live, think about, the first time i fell in love. it was with my ex-fiance justin, and it's odd, and nice, how i remember it almost moment by moment, and how it felt in my heart to love someone. it seems like a life time ago, or a dream. but the moment was perfect, something i don't like to talk about a lot because i don't want to share the memory. but then i think, why wouldn't i want to share it? it's about love, and that's a great thing to pass around and to share. no wonder i can't write lately.........i can't get my thoughts straight. anyway, good chat tonight, and rhonda is kick-ass anyway. and it was the perfect night for a party, and everyone loved it, and we all made wonderful new friends. afterwards, we are all like, 'yeah, this is the crowd we need to hang with.' should i be worried that i don't even think about love now, or even wanting it? or am i too used to being single? late night blabber, people. that's all it is. 2 comments|post comment

drunk and high witches [27 Oct 2002|01:22am] [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | drunk mike talking about his great dane and weiner dog.AGAIN ] at corys. we threw a wedding shower for cat's daughter, cole, and her soon-to-be husband hampton. fun, fun, fun! didn't drink, didn't smoke out of the SIX pipes going around, or the 5 pounds of mushrooms, but i still had damn fun. (didn't partake in any of these events b/c cat made me up some medicine for my gout, and that could have been bad...damnit). anyway, KICK ASS TIME tonight. took spirit photography tonight. gave out naughty gifts. watched mother and daughter bond over weed. decorated this place kick ass. and met some new, kickass people. looking forward to the wedding. it's halloween night, on top of petie jean mountain, at the grave site. have never been to anything like that, and we all have to dress up in costumes. mom came up to my work last night, and cat read her spirits around her, and that was cool, and mom loved it. i think i'm high from second hand smoke. this place was full of it. everyone is mostly gone, except for mike, who we are all trying to decide if he is gay or not. think he's bi, because he hit on me and andy. i know this is a bad thing to wonder, especially since all my friends are practically gay, but we can't help but chatter about it. was told today that i was 'truly blessed' in my gift as a tarot reader. made me feel good, and i danced around. me and cat also made up some more love potion like stuff today, and that was cool. she's really teaching me a lot. mike is now hitting on rhonda. rhonda is giggling in that nervous manner. HA! talking about his dogs again. damn. anyway, will write more later once i remember everything that happened. cute boys showed up, and that was cool. *sigh* 2 comments|post comment

pic [25 Oct 2002|03:19am] [ mood | drained ] finally able to post on here........pic of my scanned face that i did a while back for paul, but minus the other two. i never post pics of myself on here, so here's one.....it's old, but my face pretty much still looks tha same, so there ya go. 6 comments|post comment

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