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[ 05 May 2003|11:33pm] |
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Home from work. It was bad. Stupid receptionist woman (the only person in the building who ever complains)left a note in the kitchen with a note that said "dear cleaning people--what's up with all the broken items?" sitting beside a cracked coffee pot and a cracked glass. I didn't break the coffee pot--it was broken when I got there yesterday. I probably did break the glass because I have to gather dishes from people's desks in a big plastic tub and they clatter against each other---most of the glasses are still half full, the tub is really heavy, and I'm not strong enough to hold it in a stable position. I wrote that on her note. Then I was so mad/crappy feeling that I cried. I wanted to go smoke a cigarette and Paul said he didn't care what I did as long as I calmed down. Now, 4 hours later, crying does seem like an overreaction. Just was MAD and couldn't do anything about it. Mad that she just assumes we broke them. I probably did crack that glass though--I've broken two others and thrown them away, heh heh. BUT I DIDN'T CRACK THE COFFEE POT! I spat on her desk and rubbed it in really good, and Paul rubbed his bottom on her desk (yes, immature, but since we only make $550 each a month before taxes, we aren't paid to be mature). I hate my job.
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[ 06 May 2003|12:47am] |
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i am currently taking questions...
anyone?
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[ 06 May 2003|12:27am] |
Fuck. Can't sleep. I'm thinking about trying to get a job in New York. I like my situation here, but I'm not sure I want to continue in academic publishing. I want to work with trade stuff. I don't know. There are about a thousand things flying around in my head right now. But shit, I'm not going to figure it out tonight. I dunno.
On a totally different subject, look here and tell me what you think "inhabited" means. I'm thinking she means "uninhibited." Or maybe she's possessed.
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| five before bed (i want attention) |
[ 06 May 2003|12:05am] |
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my mother told me that i'm "one of those beautiful girls who goes to great lengths to hide it from the world."
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i actually joined a gym. 'cause my hourglass figure is quickly becoming a sundial.
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i have tomorrow off. yay.
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"i want to take you home. i want to give you children. and you might be..."
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"i started a joke..."
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[ 05 May 2003|10:39pm] |
i got my three papers back for my psych class, and i got two A's and one A-, so i'm guessing i might get an A in that course too, since i got an A on one test and a B+ on another test and at least one A for a debate. so unless i totally tank on this test, i should be doing ok.
this semester was rough. i'm never dropping out of college again. seriously.
i wonder if these were flukes or if i underestimate my intelligence, i can't really tell at this point. i just get so nervous. i was convinced i was going to get at best a C in the class that i got the A- in. maybe i will somehow get a D in the psych class. who knows.
we celebrated my good fortune being gluttons with port and chocolate.
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[ 05 May 2003|09:22pm] |
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I thought I had something to say.
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[ 05 May 2003|08:34pm] |
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i can't keep my mind anywhere tonight. my mind's been squirrely and i've been falling over all day. i decided playing piano might be a worthwhile pursuit til i realized that my hands wanted to play moonlight sonata at double tempo (which actually worked out nicely, but it was alarming at best that i couldn't get them to slow down). and behind it all is this dull aching pain in my jaws. both upper and lower. even the teeth around the side with no extractions.
i'm really glad i didn't go to work today. can you imagine how i'd be? i probably would have slapped the boss with a dead fish and laughed my head off and then set all the mice free.
i'm going insane.
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[ 05 May 2003|06:18pm] |
Went to psychiatrist today--he gave me Serzone, which I've never heard of. Hope it will help, because I've been VERY depressed. I had no idea if Zoloft has been helping or not, and he mentioned suicide for some reason and I admitted that I've been feeling that way, and asked if Zoloft WAS working, would I feel suicidal? He said, "The Bird of Happiness won't always be in your tree, but it shouldn't be crapping on your head all the time." Heh.
Went up to give my brother his paycheck, and Lenny of course started trying to buy Xanax off of me. I was pretty short with him. I'm losing my patience with drug addicts. They don't work or do anything except try to wheedle drugs out of people. I don't know how they get the money for drugs without having jobs. I work, and I can hardly afford my prescribed drugs. GOD I want to get better. I wonder how it feels to be normal. I wish I didn't have to take any drugs at all. My panic attacks have worsened as I've gotten older, and I don't think there would be a waking moment that I wasn't panicking anymore if I didn't take Xanax. And I don't want to be the girl no one likes because she doesn't talk about anything but her mental state, but god I can't help it. I just can't help it. I don't want to be me. I want to be happy and make people laugh and make other people happier by my presence.
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| no, i won't shave for our date. |
[ 05 May 2003|04:02pm] |
what i did this weeked:
( sold... )
i ordered some test prints, hopefully should have them this week.
*crossing fingers*
also got our margaret cho tickets in the mail.
*yeep!*
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[ 05 May 2003|05:06pm] |
This is just the first set of pictures. That is, the ones I got resized before the computer froze. Manymanymany more later! (i took 300 pictures this weekend, and i like too many of them)
Plant Farm Part One
( +12 )
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[ 05 May 2003|05:21pm] |
I watched Secretary last night. Holy shit, dude. People are making some fucked-up movies these days, you know that? Like seriously weird. But I'm all for it. Tonight I think I'm going to watch The Man Who Wasn't There. I started it the other night but decided that I wasn't going to have the attention span for it, so I put aside for later.
And that's just about all I have to say about anything.
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| OMG OMG OMG |
[ 05 May 2003|04:42pm] |
I GOT AN A- IN MY WRITING FOR MARKETING CLASS!!!
I want to jump around and scream. oh my god. i thought i was going to bomb that class
it was the hardest class i've ever taken
my teacher told me i was by far the most improved student in the class and that he was very proud of me and i should be too, especially since i'd taken a rather extended leave from this kind of stuff
OH MY GOD I AM SO FUCKING ASTOUNDED
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[ 05 May 2003|03:29pm] |
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I don't need to take my crop out with me at night with my punk rock girl at my side. I bet she'd break bottles. Awwww.
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[ 05 May 2003|03:10pm] |
5/4
Fuck the World is fucking great when it hits but it's cut with something nasty. Natalie and I both throw up miserably at different points in the evening. And it isn't the usual dope puke where you just don't care, it's something wretched, not even the Bendaryl and ginger ale rustled up to cure the thing stay down. (Throwing up Drammamine is the most vile, contradictory experience ever.) She drives me on two calls through this ailment, she's such a trooper, then two hours to sleep to drive back before her mother wakes up and flips out cuz she told her she'd be home tonight, and I wake her w/my own variation on the thing, gut and heart wrenching, making little bathetic cries, asking her to hold me, and she does, and her secret anyone can tell is that she loves to be loved, all that butch punk stoicism and rage all coming down to that soft chewy emo girl core, and I whisper, "I'm glad I got together with you. I think things are gonna be good." I mean, my god, she can fall asleep in my arms, who does that? Nobody but Kate (and even Kate doesn't sleep well.) And I start dozing a bit myself and lose the sense of our body's size, the way I always do about my own body when I'm really tired, she is very small and then suddenly she's huge, what I'm swimming in, in my grasp.
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[ 05 May 2003|02:54pm] |
5/4
Note to self: when addressing anarchists in the Amherst Common, connect sex work to labor. But it's all cool, $25-$25 split between Francis and me, driving back to Springfield with her nodding out in the backseat and a crackhead next to her keeping it lively, debating the merits of street work vs. escorting as usual, Natalie at the wheel laughing her ass off. They're selling a batch of dope in Springfield called Fuck The World right now and it's easy to pick them up again when they score for us cuz Renee's all decked out in all lime green.
"So, how was anarchy?"
"Oh, you know, white as usual."
But I did finally find the mental health patients' liberation movement in Northampton. Score.
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[ 05 May 2003|02:37pm] |
5/4
So I needed to pick up some decrim materials for my Speaking Engagement from Holly from Arise, who tabling yesterday at town Pride--otherwise known as The Gay. Now, I don't like to associate myself with rainbow merchandising, but this was a matter of neccesity, so I was prepared to brave it as long as I could sharpie up a JUNKIE HO t-shirt to wear. But as it happened, I didn't have a chance to do so, and instead I found myself hobbling it up there in heels and a leopard print women's lib hot top, when suddenly I was confronted by a mass of Evil Corporate Queers (TM). There they were, munching on the grass, and I was in their midst! People would think I was one of them! I ran into Lexie and J (one of my moonlight drivers), and I started shrieking wildly about how I wasn't supposed to be here! I hated it! I just have to pick something up! After decidely freaking them out, I proceeded to walk away from the cop at the edge of the field, and, thinking fast, I took off my shirt and bra. I was the only girl there with boobies out, so that sort of settled it. At that point, cool Martina in the wheelchair who sells those Virginia Woolf buttons, who saves my ass on every activist occasion I get in trouble (most notably giving me water at Westover), saved my ass yet again and led me over to Holly. After slightly tweaking Holly out too, I got the stuff, put on my shirt, and started walking away from the Gay, absolutely relieved, when this skinny business suity woman approaches me and says she's from the news, wants to know if You Were Making a Political Statement When You Took Your Shirt Off Just Now. "Uh, why, yes! I think the mainstream gay movement totally disassociates itself from people like me, sex workers and drug addicts [I would have talked about trannies too if I wasn't on the spot. Don't even get me started about funding. And why did I use their word, "addicts" instead of "users"? Think fast!]I wouldn't be here if I didn't need to be." Yeah, good save, Caty. Sure they'll print that.
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| something to test, perhaps |
[ 05 May 2003|02:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tiempo por mas drogas |
] |
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music |
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(four years of spanish and this is what it gets me) |
] |
do you think one's 'psychotic potential' is higher when the person is hyped up on PAINKILLERS or just PAIN?
i need to know. i'll be back in a couple of hours! ;)
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[ 05 May 2003|02:39pm] |
i swear if that #$%#% person touches me one more time i'm going to scream. how can you nicely say to someone "please don't put your hand on my shoulder?"
ugh
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| mondays |
[ 05 May 2003|10:23am] |
Ultimate Purity Test: 53% pure. This one doesn't have the morality shit, or the location stuff.
So we went to see X2 last night. We waited in the drizzling rain for an hour, got great seats, and proceeded to be blown the fuck away. Although I didn't realize it was going to be that long. Afterwards we dorked out bigtime talking about X-Factor and the New Mutants and whatnot. Man, 1987 was so long ago.
Earlier in the day we were blown away by a hailstorm. I know in theory hail has happened around me before, but this was the first time I was in a position to actually see it. Plus a bit of lightning practically outside our house. That was really damn cool.
OH MY GOD this is addictive: it makes poetry from any web page.
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| Yippee! I'm a copycat! |
[ 06 May 2003|12:09am] |
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music |
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Catatonia - Fuel |
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I'm trying a new background as of today. Of all, I'm choosing a pink sky with fat fluffy clouds and glittering stars. How tweet yuh? ;)
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| Second Journal |
[ 05 May 2003|08:50am] |
I realized one of the perks of having a paid account. More journal codes! So I started a new livejournal,  mfilm, to keep track of all the movies I watch. Depending on how often I update (and considering that I watch a lot of movies), I probably won't write really extensive reviews, just general impressions. So if anybody cares to keep track of all the film-viewing I do, feel free to add mfilm and I'll add you back.
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| Senator Edwards at the J.F.K. Library |
[ 05 May 2003|10:18am] |
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music |
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t. rex - truck on (tyke) |
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I liked his hair. Occasionally during the speech he'd run his fingers through his bangs, which I've never seen a politician do before. He chopped the air with his hands while he spoke, which reminded me a lot of Bill Clinton.
His speech didn't contain a lot of substance: a tax credit here, a tax cut there. He came out strongly in support of the war, and just as strongly against Attorney General Ashcroft's heavy handedness. He passed the civil liberties litmus test to my satisfaction, at least as it pertains to women and minorities. He is in favor of working within existing international frameworks to solve foreign policy challenges. He doesn't favor more tax cuts, but he's not in favor of repealing existing tax cuts. He's a centrist all around.
My first impression wasn't immediately positive because he failed to mention gay rights while listing other causes he supported: equal pay for women, affirmative action, etc. It seemed a logical next step to include the "elephant in the room", but he appeared to have balked. As Senator Edwards is from the South, I was particularly eager to hear his opinions on this admittedly divisive issue.
Arthur and I left the auditorium excitedly debating the merits of the senator: his positions, his omissions, his "electability". I felt dismayed at what I interpreted at the time as a pass on gay rights but heartened that he came out strongly against the Justice Department and against Bush's pet interest groups.
So last night I settled into a comfortable chair and turned on C-SPAN. The House of Commons was, as always, exhilarating and entertaining to observe. The Saturday evening debate between Senator Edwards and the other candidates came on a few minutes later. George Stephanopolous asked Senator Edwards his position on gay privacy rights, and he unequivocally came out in support of the GLBT community. This was the reassurance I needed. Further research has shown that the senator is making a great effort to reach out to GLBT voters. I like Senator Lieberman's foreign policy, and I do admit, I get weak kneed at the idea of a Jewish president, but that's a shallow and crass reason for vote for a man. Governor Dean seems petty and second rate. His style was undignified and I was quite disappointed in his opposition to gun control. (The NRA gave him an A rating) Gephardt - irrelevant, Sharpton- no thanks, Kerry - ambiguous, the others made even less of an impression.
I'm still not sure, but I think I'll vote for Senator Edwards in the primary. He's a little rough around the edges, but the campaign has only just begun, and there's plenty of time for priming and polishing. Soon they'll be calling him "Clintonesque". Just wait.
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[ 05 May 2003|08:42am] |
I guess I'd be more into sharing if I had net access wherever I went. Like home. There's plenty of boring moments at home. I'm just not compelled to write lately.
Made pizza last night. My oven is the only appliance I have that vents heat in any kind of effective manner, but it has a loud fan. The laundry and dishwasher heat the apartment a lot and there isn't anything to do but run the a/c.
We saw X2 on Friday. Low on story, but some neat scenes, and of course, eye candy. Very blah ending that left it wide open for the next one.
Joe feels pretty good about the interviews and should hear back from them this week. He's temping this week. I start school in a few hours. I'm a little nervous about being in clinic again. It's been a while.
Last week I got to watch all the tv I wanted. This week I need to remember how to program a vcr.
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[ 05 May 2003|12:21am] |
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In the classic song "New York, New York", to what does the second "New York" refer? If this was translated to a different city, would it be "Seattle, Seattle", or "Seattle, Washington"?
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[ 05 May 2003|01:25am] |
What can I say? I'm lonely. The friends I have here were made out of necessity, of need for human contact. I'll miss them someday, but only because I'm used to them. This always seems to happen. Different people, same routine. We go to the same places, trying so hard to find common ground, then decide that loneliness is better when we're really alone instead of trying so hard to fake our way into relationships. Indian restaurants in particular make me feel this way. The girl from Nicaragua and I ate mashed eggplant over basmati rice together. CB and I sat in corners, kicking each other under the table. Everything starts and ends the same way. Inanimate objects and curry.
I ate so much tonight that I'll probably be shitting my way through my final tomorrow.
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[ 04 May 2003|11:18pm] |
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It's one of those nights where everyone has bailed on me and I'm stuck sitting in front of the computer, looking flash and smelling good. This has been happening a lot lately...
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| i would really really like feedback here. |
[ 04 May 2003|09:57pm] |
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is it reasonable to take tomorrow off if going any measurable distance outside of my bedroom makes me want to rip people's heads off because of a)pain; b)inability to properly chew any type of food; c)resultant nausea from a combination of a and b; d) complete dependence on vicodin and heat/ice packs?
now how about if it also happens to be my last week at the job?
and if i have an interview for a temp job at the same place that morning?
what is reasonable? the hourlong commute alone might make me snap. is that reasonable?
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| luke wilson, movies, cancer |
[ 04 May 2003|10:25pm] |
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mood |
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clear |
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music |
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cex - dead bodies |
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today while walking on the mass ave bridge, i saw Luke Wilson. he's way way cute in person. damn. he's kinda short though, from my perspective, standing in at a whopping 5ft 5 inches. but i stood next to him (while trying to figure out who he was in the midst of a very open set) and am convinced it was in fact, way cute, way talented, and not terribly tall, Luke Wilson. ann wanted me to ask him where is brother was, but i was still lamenting my brief ownership of an mp3 player i'd found on the ground that was returned to its rightful owner within minutes. i had been looking foward to posting an ad on craiglist that woudlve said
"dear person who dropped your mp3 player on the mass ave bridge. i have it and will return if you can name 5 songs stored on it. btw, your taste in music sucks"
the matrix 2 preview was way intense and neat. xmen2 was much more of a movie than a mindless action movie. i kinda sorta want to read the comics but i was never blown away by the artwork. i either like really artsy weird stuff or totally glossy crappy image stuff.
i'm tired this has been a draining weekend. i studied alot and in the midst of studying and stuff i found out that my dad's scar tissue from where he had kidney surgery back in 98 is riddled with cancerous tumors and he needs to have surgery and that is no good. damn you basal cell carcinoma, damn you all to hell. it's all over his side and his head again. he has the worst luck healthwise. it sucks because he used to be so physically fit, before the cancers and the accident and the heart stuff. bleagh.
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| that's okay by me |
[ 04 May 2003|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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indescribable |
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music |
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all-time quarterback |
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lying in bed and reading zines, changing clothes almost every hour. it's nice because of the breeze and the clean smell and how I think it's going to rain.
I got a 26 on my ACT but if I hadn't been so damn sick I believe I would've gotten higher. plan: take the test, june 6th, and kick some major ass.
school's so close to being over and the days are getting longer. I'm planning on an entirely different life [yet the same]. I don't think I can wait any longer...
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| Check it out, that shark's wasted |
[ 04 May 2003|04:29pm] |
There's a thief on Elliott's floor. Poofy's Playstation 2, PS2 games, and some DVDs were stolen. It's so terrible, I hope they find the guy. Elliott was playing detective, but Poofy just wants to drop it. Hopefully the guy(s) will have some bad karma.
Well, time to put back the girls and study for my Drug Use & Abuse final.
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| i drank too much redbull and woke up early. |
[ 04 May 2003|02:23pm] |
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music |
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Better Than Ezra |
] |
This shit rules: How can you really get back at a girl who cheats on you with your boss, then dumps you? Jump in the sack with the last person she can even imagine having sex: her mama.
Seeing X2 tonight. At Cinerama. Kick ass.
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| in the news: |
[ 04 May 2003|09:14am] |
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last month's cell phone bill came to a whopping $215 dollars.
today, i'm going to a longaberger basket bingo fundraiser with my mother. (prediction: i will not win anything)
i got a new toothbrush yesterday.
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| i can smell your brains |
[ 04 May 2003|03:21am] |
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mood |
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vicodin |
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music |
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aimee mann- nobody does it better |
] |
YOU MUST KNOW
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| feel much better |
[ 03 May 2003|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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drinking -ye gods- Sparks |
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music |
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06 - At Night - Shakedown |
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Took a four-hour nap after getting up before 11. Man. I talked Steve into going to TGI Friday's for "lunch", which was pretty damn awesome. We had tater skins, Jack Daniels' sesame chicken, and each had a bacon cheeseburger. Oh man, that was one tasty burger. I hadn't been to Friday's in over a year - Nick and I used to go constantly - and it was the first time in ages I didn't order alcohol there. But apparently Steve and I were the only people who, at 3:30 on a Saturday, don't drink at Friday's. That was a bit surreal, feeling like we were teetotallers. There was an older couple sitting across from us, with I assumed their daughter, but Steve was like "Maybe it's one of those Stranger personal ad things, threesome seekers."
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| attention human. your cat needs to be scratched. mwomowmwowmowmowmwowmowmwowmowmwomowmow. |
[ 04 May 2003|01:10am] |
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mmmmmmmm in a lot of pain
not feeling as good today (sorry to disappoint you :( ). though went to the burren for lovely dinner i didn't have to chew thanks god and then bought a nice used book of color prints from india wildlife photography and then saw an extended dance remix show with jim's big ego, and i won the napkin poetry contest yet again (and dan unwittingly catered to us with his "mowmowmow" and "i can smell yourbrains" chants), and i had a horny gay pirate rum drink again and it was generally very good. but i'm in pain, and i was in pain ever since the bookstore, and i am in pain.
something is wrong with my right jaw/cheek/gaping hole in my jaw/surrounding teeth/SOMETHING because the swelling and aching is not going away, and i'm afraid to take the vicodin until the alkymahol wears off, and it hurts hurts hurts and the ice pack doesn't seem to help.
maybe if i sleep i can forget. or i'll bite off half my inner cheek and wake up in pain.
i had a dream last night. i was trying to convince vampires that they had a conscience and thus didn't want to kill me. it was starting to work. i always have dreams where i try to convince people not to hurt me. i wish it worked in real life.
maybe sleep now. if i can.
ouch.
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[ 04 May 2003|01:03am] |
My mother died in Jewish Hospital. She was not Jewish. I liked to wander the corridors and run my fingers along the Hebrew proverbs engraved into the wall. I also liked to eat (kosher) sandwiches in the cafeteria. Now whenever I have chicken salad I think of tiled floors, and the Book of Isaiah.
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| Jethro Tull |
[ 03 May 2003|09:53pm] |
Here's one for all you catholics out there ('specially in England)
When I was young
and they packed me off to school
and taught me how not
to play the game,
I didn't mind
if they groomed me
for success (heh heh)
or if they said that I was just a fool.
So I left there in the morning
with their God tucked underneath my arm
their half-assed smiles
and the book of rules.
And I asked this God a question
and by way of firm reply,
he said "I'm not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays."
So to my old headmaster
and to anyone who cares,
before I'm through, I'd like to say my prayers.
I don't believe you
you've got the whole damn thing all wrong!
He's not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.
Well you can excommunicate me
on my way to Sunday school,
and have all the bishops
harmonize these lines;
How d'you dare to tell me
that I'm my father's son
when that was just an accident of birth.
I'd rather look around me,
compose a better song,
'cause that's the honest measure of my worth.
In your pomp and all your glory,
you're a poorer man than me
as you lick the boots of death
born out of fear.
I don't believe you.
You have the whole damn thing all wrong.
He's not the kind you have to wind up
on Sundays....
Ian Anderson
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[ 04 May 2003|02:02am] |
i am drunk. again. my god, this is not like me at all. should i be worried?
me and Berto decided to postpone the wedding for a year. the budget we had has gone to pot due to extra dog and new car, and also we have been a little rocky lately and it's hardly a good footing to start from. so, August next year now. i feel a bit more comfortable with that. only thing is, cherie, do i have to give my hair back?
god, i am far too pissed. i am listening to my Berto snore and am feeling quite jealous, but at the moment i feel a long way from being able to lie down without spinning furiously. i wish i could wake him up and tell him that i'm sorry. before i went out things were a little weird and i really wish they hadn't been. actually, things have been a little weird for a couple of months now and i'm not sure why. maybe if i'd had more time and space. maybe if i'd had just a little bit of life for myself. maybe blah, blah, fucking blah...
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| I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off! |
[ 03 May 2003|07:20pm] |
Once again, I am sitting at the computer procrastinating writing a Religions paper. This particular one is somewhat of a compare/contrast paper on Taoism and Buddhism. I have to refer to passages from The Dhammapada, The Tao of Pooh, and poems from Tao Te Ching. This is going to suck because I'm going to put it off as long as I can. The last paper I had to write for that class was on Hinduism. It took me forever to write due to an extreme case of writer's block and procrastination, but I somehow managed to get a 98%. I was impressed.
Elliott thinks he's getting a surprise birthday party tonight at Kyle's. I hope he's not disappointed. He said he didn't want a party so he's not getting one (set up by me, at least). I, on the other hand, love having birthdays parties thrown for me; however, no one will ever throw one for me because my birthday is during winter break and is on a pseudo holiday. But just for future reference, I would love to have a 21st surprise birthday party. Never going to happen...
As you all know, finals are next week. And I know you all love it when I keep you updated on my academic situations so I will go through the rundown. But first, I've been writing a lot about how I'm doing in school lately because I'm really proud with the effort I've put into my work this semester. I'm always half-assing things and this semester I have only one-fourth-assed things (or would it be three-fourth-assed things?). In short, I've been writing about it mostly for me because I'm proud of myself. Anyway, these are the percentages I need to get on my finals to receive a certain grade:
Drug Use and Abuse: 85% for an A
Religions: 80% on the paper for a B
Astronomy: 63% for an A
History: 71% for a B
Relaxation: 60% for an A
I also took one of those online IQ tests which made my day even though it's probably not very accurate.
Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 157.
A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 144-160 is considered to be "gifted".
What'd you get?
Okay, I swear I'm going to start on that paper now.
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[ 03 May 2003|11:43am] |
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curtis rocks.
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[ 03 May 2003|04:00am] |
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music |
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"and all this burning..." |
] |
Kate Baahn called us monsters cuz our pupils were pinpointed, but we prefer the term "dope droids."
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| [boring therapeutic self-talk, skip and skim with impunity] |
[ 03 May 2003|01:52am] |
Kate and I have figured out how to phrase it: our relationship has recently become sensual if not sexual. The extra validity it gives our union is useful and comforting, though the basis of that approval is annoying as fuck.
She's trying to teach me not to apologize all the time cuz I AM NOT WRONG WRONG IS NOT MY NAME, like that bad feminist poem says. Not like they taught me in the hospital. God, she's so good to me. And I mean, she's right, it is partly motivated by a huge cringing animal type of fear, and that does taint the part that's motivated by the desire to make good.
On an unrelated Peter note, I agree with the Stephen Merritt when he sings NO YOU CAN'T HAVE A DIVORCE, though I know that sentiment is impossible and awful and over.
I've been happy now for five straight months. I hadn't been happy before that for years.
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| the only problem with getting this thing... |
[ 03 May 2003|12:10am] |
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i still can't bear to throw pictures away.
digitalis
most of these narcissistic ones were definitely "camwhore" or "no-nuglies" spoofs, so don't expect this TOO much in the future.
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| "I got my drugs and I got my woman and they take away my loneliness" |
[ 03 May 2003|12:15am] |
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mood |
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"you will return to me |
] |
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music |
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you will you will you will"BrightEyesArabStrap |
] |
I just wanna go to concerts with Kate forever.
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[ 02 May 2003|11:32pm] |
I hate anime with a passion, but Spirited Away was very lovely. There are so many things I would like to buy for myself in celebration of my birthday...
::cough::
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| 'bout time |
[ 02 May 2003|10:51pm] |
so i finally got a paid account. what neato features should i try out first?
tonight i'm staying in because tomorrow is going to be busy busy busy. have to be up early for a hair appointment (how very girly of me. but it takes kaya over three hours to touch up the roots, dye the underneath red, then cut and style the whole convoluted thing; i buy cheap clothes and hate shoe shopping, which i figure balances splashing out on expensive hair). then it's an action-packed evening with d, d, and d. on the itinerary: sushi at sushi samba (d wants to go because it was featured on 'sex and the city'), a comedy show starring david wain (of the state, stella, and wet hot american summer. yay!), then a late viewing of x-men 2 (i didn't see all of the first x-men; i hope i don't have trouble, you know, following along), and finally dancing to brit-pop until sunrise at tiswas. whew, that is a lot of fun to squeeze into a single evening! but somebody's gotta do it...
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| Can you or do you know someone who can help? |
[ 02 May 2003|09:21pm] |
Post lifted from HERE.
Sanctuary Closing - over 700 animals need homes
"The owner of Mshoogy's Animal Sanctuary in Savannah, Missouri has announced the sanctuary is closing. All animals that are not placed by August will be destroyed. Currently there are 600 dogs, 165 cats, 11 Belgian horses, as well as deer, fowl, a pot bellied pig, a bobcat, etc.
If anyone can take even ONE of these animals, please contact Dana Bartz at Taz99_dane@yahoo.com (Please note Dana is NOT the owner of this sanctuary. She is a volunteer who is doing her best to help find these poor animals a place to go. The owner is Gary Silverglat.)"
Even if you can't take in one of these animals you might know someone who can help somehow. Please pass on the information, who knows, somebody you send it to might have connections.
Thank you!
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| i like this one |
[ 02 May 2003|08:54pm] |
(as usual, my rule with surveys is that i only take the ones i would read everyone else's responses for. but enough chit-chat, let's list some music...)
1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
"Everybody" - Backstreet Boys (I understand if some of you have to take me off your friends list for this one)
2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
"The Winner Takes it All" - ABBA (I usually have to skip over it when I listen to ABBA Gold and it is on my most depressing songs ever mix tape. I know, I'm a goober.)
"This House" - Alison Moyet (the way she wails "it's cold in here"... *shiver*)
3. Name three songs that turn you on.
"Shag Tobacco" - Gavin Friday
"duende" - Delerium
"I'm Your Man" - Leonard Cohen
4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
"Disco 2000" - Pulp
"Atomic" - Blondie
"What Do All The People Know" - The Monroes
"Sit Down" - James
5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
"With or Without You" - U2
"Don't Dream It's Over" - Crowded House
"Major Tom" - Peter Schilling
"Under the Milky Way" - The Church
"Bring on the Dancing Horses" - Echo and the Bunnymen
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