"one with history leaking from her eyes" i'm a 18 year old living in manchester, england. pretty much average in every way possible, though consider myself an "artist", in the loosest sense of the world. agnostic, entirely unsure of beliefs still. likes to think she's generally quite friendly. other half of ste, and happy. interests include music, art, design, ste, london,, the london underground, galleries, the beeb, mix tapes/CDs, letters, oil paint, oil paint trousers [an aquired taste], mobster films, francis ford coppola, manchester, sitting around mancheser, corsets + suchlike, "mock pret", driving [badly], brightly coloured socks and my brother's star wars socks, unamerican spelling [it's colour damn you!], britcom, coffee houses, mocking 'the face', mocking everyone in the way of music, i listen to a lot of varied stuff. from big band, to big bangs and other loud noises. i'm fickle in my music tastes. i do have an affinity for 'bleepy' music however. inspired by the art of francis bacon, jenny saville, odd nerdrum, hieronymous bosch, lucian freud, marcel duchamp, david hockney, richard hamilton, gabiriella, dave mckean [writings included]. the writings of luigi serphiani, george orwell, ian rankin, zoe heller. i also like fish, victorian buildings, candles, trees/vines, the human form and reptiles. in my room 101; noel edmonds, lee evans, harry hill, shell suits, kaftans, cullottes, country and western, disney films, match days, driving tests, prendergast, graham norton, yo mom |
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I suddenly feel very old. not in the mature, independant way, in the jaded, tired and exhausted way. i've felt like this for the past week i'm guessing but i've not actually realised it till this evening. things have happened over the past few days. they can be summed up in my regrets of the past few days. 1/ i regret not being more enthusiastic about this course, as i think it will do me a lot of good in the end. 2/ i regret 3 hours of last night. 3/ i regret not being more sociable last night and collapsing relatively early on. 4/ i regret getting so easily wound up by things. 5/ i regret not going to marek's party even for a couple of hours last night. danielle needed me for some reason aparently. i'm guessing it's for a bitching session about her father. 6/ i regret not being able to see julia as much as i used to. i'm such shitty friend to her. 7/ i really regret not purging the journals. i'll get round to this. valuable lessons are being learnt, but being learnt too late. i hope i soak them up at some point. i'm so exhausted. |
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tonight was hilarious. in it's own special way. tomorrow should be excellent too. and i feel a big weeding out of the old friends page coming along. i see things that i read and cringe. i shall mull. mull. my kitchen's all fitted and looking very snazzy, much to my joy. i now have to negotiate things with my parents regarding food bills, and then find the time to go shopping. stupid course, stupid work, stupid life. *kicks it hard* at least tesco is a 24 hour one. i can join all the insomniacs and drunkards. play tesco monopoly. whinge whinge whinge. moan moan moan. i just don't fucking shut up do i? there i was the other day, promising you the end. dangling the carrot in front of you nose, and now i whip it away from you with yet another vapid, irritating post. deary me. how many livejournallers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 28. one to screw it in, one to write about it, one to comment that it was screwed in wrongly, one to comment on said comment that said comment is wrong, one to tell them to stop arguing, one to tell the one who said 'stop arguing' to stop being such a busybody, one to report it to abuse, 20 to petition abuse to ignore the report, one to comment 5 days later with something 'witty'. i'm still mulling. |
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i get bored on the telephone. \/ pre foundation course \/  \/ after umpteenth annoying brief. \/  no, i won't cut things for you. |
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one of my paintings is going on display at the portico today. well today is the private viewing at least. and i can't go because i'm working. it's really annoyed me, but i can't take this week off from work because i require next week. *cries* i wanted to go to the funky opening an drink champagne and act like i have a chance in hell of winning this prize. i wanted to go and see who i'm up against, i just wanted to go really. oh well. oh, and  david, the guy currently fitting my cooker is called david whitney. he has a cool van "david whitney, gas services". so there you go.i'm going to manufacture a cog out of condoms. it's the witticism that became the piss take that became half serious. watch me. i'm headed straight for the tate modern. the sunday times will hate me. it'll be hilarious. ( the defining 80 minutes ) |
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i'm currently sat in the computer drop in bit at the top of the library building. it's a bit warm in here for some reason. ah well. i'm still not having time to read journals, and i've missed about a weeks worth :( so if you have anything desperately important i require being informed about, go ahead and do it, i'm not back tracking through my friends page to last week :P my lack of free time is becoming a bit annoying really, i didn't think the course would be this much work. i'm in every day from 9.30 to 4.30 [this requires me being up at 6.30 in order to drive myself in, drop off charlie and mgs and suchlike]. i do have wednesdays off, but i still have to work, i'm set work every night, not that i'm really doing it of course. i'm also working at le trappiste every wednesday and friday night from around 6 to close depending on wayne's mood, it's a lot more enjoyable than the axe ever could be but it's still damn hard work. i do now have the weekends free once you take then time i'm doing work out of them :) i can actually start to enjoy sundays now perhaps. this shall be a novel concept i'm sure. it sounds like i'm moaning a lot, it's not the case, i really like having things to do, i really like having people i like to do them with me. Lucy is being a beacon of sanity in the whole foundation course realm, and i'm very grateful to her. come visit me manchester people, we can go for lunch and suchlike, make me happy :D i'm not sure what else to say. those of you in the know, i'll just say 'mother' and be done with it. those of you not in the know can probably guess. i'm not sure how things are on that front, i've not seen her for a few days. which isn't a terrible thing. oh oh oh, more. my kitchen is being fitted this week :D shiny kitchen of greatness, it's all exciting and should be ready on thursday afternoon if the gas man turns up on schedule, which is probably very very unlikely. hopefully things will calm down soon and i'll actually be able to read this thing. i'm not *that* busy, just finding getting near computers hard, especially as i'm becoming less and less inclined to go near the house. not that it's a loss to the land of lj. one less active monument to vanity. so yes, how are you all? [aaand i'll see some of you on saturday. i'll be the one telling everyone how i don't have to be up for work the next morning, and how i'm actally going for a pub lunch myself. and how i won't be wearing a waistcoat and till key. quitting that place was one of the best feelings ever.] |
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| i've lost all will to talk about the past few days. stuff happened, most of it good. some of it dire. as ever i guess. | ||||
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ok ok, who knew that zwan split up and didn't tell me so i could celebrate? hmmm? yesterday was fun, after [amazingly] passing my driving test i drove all the way into manchester to ste's and this morning i slept very very late and wandered into town to take more froobix photos, breifly saw a dave and a chris before wandering off with ste, stopping by in the royal exchange to buy 3 tickets for monday night's 12th night showing :) woo for cheap monday nights out. [if you're under 25 it's 3.50 at the moment m'dears, for any seat in the house] on my way home i got stuck behind a funeral procession. i forgot i lived by a crematorium. the temptation to beep is huge :P i'm at jilly's tomorrow night with stumpy_thedwarf, it's her final time there before she leaves on sunday for Durham :( i'm going to meees her lots and lots. i'm going to be knackered for uni on friday but i'm past caring, it's an stupid course anyway, no doubt all i'll be doing on friday is painting pictures of my aura and deciding what fairy tale best represents my personality before inscribing it onto a spoon. morons.
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by the way everyone, not that it's a big deal to me or anything, but i passed my driving test. finally :P and no, before you ask, no sexual favours were given in the making of this pass certificate. |
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i hate art students who melt a bit of wax onto something, or latex mould something, or draw in coffee and act like they've just invented the wheel. and the smell of decorating paint. and getting pritt stick all over my hands. now i'm done. |
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whatever possessed me to drink murphys last night must never possess me again.hugmonkey is a king. but i'm sure you all knew that already.
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after about 7 months trying to win a daisy chainsaw album on ebay, i've finally managed it. lets hope the seller isn't an evil one :P i spent a lot of money in town, in celebration of ... stuff. cd's, julia's present, stuff from lush and some sketching pencils after my 'accident' which rendered my other ones useless. various people were seen in town. which was unsurprising as the whole world seemed to be in town, including the hare krishna choosing a damn stupid day to parade around being annoying. i better go make myself look presentable somehow. |
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jillys was utterly dire last night. too busy, too much pap was being played. thank god for seeing great people though :) if we didn't say goodbye to you, sorry, we were caught up in the whole 'LEAVE! before we suffocate and someone else stands on my foot" feelings. and this bastard looks better in my own clothing than i do. when i next see him, i'm eating his leg. work tonight. lets see how this goes. i recall dancing to this song in a rather mad way last night. lets hope i was imagining it. |
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last night was interesting :) i turned up at the bar at about 7.30 to find that wayne wasn't in, there was another member of staff on though and we talked for a while, and i was shown how to pour the beers. we have 9 beers on draught, and it's pretty much like pulling a normal ale except you have bizarrely shaped glasses to content with. one beer called Kwak is still served in a glass shaped like a stirrup cup, it's a nightmare to pull. i was then introduced to the regulars, mathias and jan. mathias actually lives in the flat above the bar, he's a student from holland or something, aaanyway, he's dressing up like a prostitute on friday for a party he's having there, which makes me think he's got the kind of sense of humour that i'll get on well with. the other guy always in there is Yan, he's Belgian and a bit crazy. eventually wayne came back, he said hello and asked me what i'd done for the rest of the day about 6 times before noticing the cellar was emitting an odd smell and went to investigate, the guy with him [i forget his name, but he was irish] admitted that wayne had been drinking since about 3. everything made more sense suddenly :P i was told to go on a mission of discovery of all the alcohol in the building whilst wayne, irish guy, mathias and yan had substantially more to drink. i found the absinthe in the process, crazy crazy absinthe, 89.9% proof adbsinthe :P after my voyage of discovery, wayne [who had by now had had about 3 more pints] attempted a conversation with me, which basically amounted to him giving me advice about doing what i wanted to, if i wanted to work for 3 years and then try uni do that, or if i wanted to go and visit a zoo [?!] to go and do that too. he then asked me if i liked the stranglers. i said i did, he wandered off downstairs, and came back up with the most insane leather jacker i've ever seen. it was one of those very very old punk ones with all the studs, badges and stuff all over, it had been signed on the inside by the stranglers lead singer. wayne then proceeded to put it on me and decided i should have it for some reason. i tried to give it back to him worrying that he was too drunk to realise what he was doing, but he just went on and on at me about how i should have it. so i have it. eventually it was time to close up, i called a cab and left. the night was fun, tips weren't as good as he said they would be but they were still good and last night was quiet due to the football. i like it there, it's relaxed and unpretentious, at the end of the night those of us left sat around drinking till the last customer left. i like my new job :) |
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only i could possibly be crap enough to get RSI in my ankle. i have tendonitis. i have medicine to make me better, but if you see my trying to operate heavy machinery in the next two weeks, stop me, say "Oi! NO! You're no fit to do that, you have swollen tendons!" remember. saw la femme nikita today. she looked surprised to see me for some reason. this has me wondering. first day of the new job this evening, alas not in full costume, i don't have long enough hair for pigtails anymore :P |
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as mars today was difficult. we had an impossible table to deal with who were very very rude. and a lot of it was directed at me and some very personal, very nasty things were said to me. i refused to serve them in the end, which i should have done at the first comment. i got angry for the rest of the day, throwing things around a lot, snapping at people who hadn't done anything, thankfully a lot of people had seen what had happened. ah well. as jupiter i start the course tomorrow. when i say start i mean i'm at man met for 15 whole minutes to register before i have a whole day of sitting around. i don't really have a lot to do next week. i just need to get hold of mr wayne and find out exactly when i'm going to be starting. i cannot wait, today just sealed the whole 'i need to leave this crap hole and now' thing. as mercury i'm getting more and more erratic recently. these aren't mood swings, it's a mood seesaw, i'm all over the place, and i have NO idea why. i'd blame tiredness but i'm not really that tired. saying that i had to have a nap at ste's yesterday before we saw that film. but i am beginning to get worried about the sheer extremity of these shifts. i've never been this bad before. i think i need a holiday from the holidays :) good thing i start doing something constructive again soon. |
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i have a funky new job at Le Trappiste a belgian beer house. i start next week at some point, and hopefully will be able to pack in the ave and cleaver shortly after. the pay is good, the tips seem excellent, the bar is pleasant, the guy who runs it seems lovely and i'm pretty excited about the whole thing. lets hope it doesn't fall through :) saw underworld, enjoyable in the whole mindless sitting and watching and not really thinking way. pretty predictable but i wasn't expecting much else. in other news, i'm a bit of an idiot really, but that's another story. |
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the last couple of days have been fun. thursday saw me eventually getting myself into manchester and sitting around at ste's for a bit before heading off into town for a few goodbye drinks with bigglesworth, flashgordon, snowyowlofdoom and others. went to lime before heading for the slug and pellet where people began to disperse eventually. me and kate moved on to the grand central where we found ther others [ nozza, david, tropicel, 3_headed_monkey and matrixhacker] we also found a nick randomly. moved onto jillys and i proceeded to continue the whole drinking thing, but but there was a difference to this night, as ste was worse than me. marginally. bless him. bumped into luminia, _amour_propre_ [i think] and ladyrosalind in the ladies. though i wasn't making much sense and as ever was falling over myself to make it into a cubicle :Pgetting even more of the lj tags out, gyre was around and dancing more than usual :D and we also ran into the wonderful illyjay who i hadn't seen in ages and was lovely to see again, especailly seeing as the last time i saw her was way back before i went on holiday.and we saw a hippiecrap, who was wearing one of his trademark [well to me at least] hawaiian shirts and helping me along on the coundown to talk like a pirate day. though i was a little to inebriated to do much better than the odd 'yarrr' and 'me heartie', though ste was a very impressive parrot, even if he didn't let me tar and feather him. me and kate also were absolutely brilliant when we played pool. i breifly saw fruit_boy too. and he deserves lots of hugs.anyway, the following morning ste and i sat about a lot before i wandere off to meet hugmonkey, who had an eliaalariel in tow. me and matt left liam at st peters square, got back to mine and watched films for a few hours before collapsing. i had a nice night, i don't see matt 'properly' very often.this morning i'm tired, got a bit of a cold and very very upset about the death of one of my fishies [bowie] last night. it barely lasted 2 weeks. i had to flush him :( me and ste are seeing underworld later. or as matt put it 'the crowess'. lets hope it's watchable. snowyowlofdoom's gone to uni now. i miss her already.
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i don't know if i've said this before, but hereticzero has one of the best journals...ever. priceless... |
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a perfect circle was good, but made excellent by the company. seeing some people i hadn't seen in ages was really what made the night. it's a shame i had to run off so quickly really, but dental appointment this morning loomed. which was a waste of time, i got in the chair, he shoved the metal prong around a bit said 'see you next year'. i was out before the time my appointment had actually been scheduled for. wandered round alty a bit, got on a bus. forgot to get off the bus, got all the way out to the rope and anchor before i realised and got off the bus, walked home. nearly got run over by an old man, he missed me by quite a bit though, though he still got out of the car to check i was ok [and not about to sue him], which was quite sweet really. i haven't encountered a member of the public who's a complete cock today yet [ok, it's only 11, but still] which is refreshing. i have a driving lesson this afternoon and then i'll be wandereding off into town. jillys tonight, it's some of the man high lots last time. meeeeh. kitchen is being fitted in about 3 weeks. which will be great. |
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clifford the big red dog is the most terrifying television programme i have ever witnessed in my life. john paul is in agreement. |
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i spent a load of time cleaning the flat today, and my mother's gone off on one because i didn't clean the house. never mind the fact that i don't technically live there anymore. do i never learn to just keep my trap shut? |
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I. yesterday the pharmacy offered me my old job back. more money, more hours, more extra supersized pill dispensing. was tempted, though i'm not really sure i can quit the axe and cleaver until my mother's secured max's work experience placement. bastards. II. getting hammered with stumpy_thedwarf last night was great. we ate at tiger tiger [the steak was veeeeery good] before heading out in search of drinks. walking past frankie and bennys sophie noticed that it was 3 for 2 on cocktails. we were the only people in there other than a couple. we were lound, giggly and probably very very annoying :D. go us.III. on the metrolink a bloke with a very heavy eastern european accent kissed my cheek and told me i was beautiful before he got off the met. this was funny because i was so drunk i didn't know what he was doing at first and headbutted his nose by accident, which made his friend break out into peals of the most frightening laugh i have ever heard in my life. it reminded me of eliaalariel's spate of similar attacks on unsuspecting girls ;)IV. headache..ow V. those of you going to the see the wondrous a perfect circle tomorrow night, myself and matthewp will be in the hogshead on oxford road [it's now called the oxford], the pub opposite the parade of shops with mccolls and greggs and so on at least. we'll be there from about 6, feel free to join us.VI. Rate yourself on the following things out of 10 Looks : 3 General Confidence : 5 Confidence with the opposite sex : it fluctuates wildly. Intelligence : 3 Common Sense : 1 Stubbornness : 6 Friendliness : 8 Physical Fitness : 2 Trustworthiness : 8 Cooking Skills : - four hundredty and four Sense Of Humour : 9. i am easily amused Fighting : 2 Musical Ability : 5 VII you know the stuff flower arrangers use? oasis i think they call it. it is the most foul feeling stuff ever, it's all crumbly and wierd. and the blocks i've been given are covered in little spiders. |
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"well he was only 5' 3", but girls could not resisit his stare, pablo picasso never got called an asshole, not in new york." ah david, how we love you, you crazy little pixie. yeahyeahyeah, the new a perfect circle album is great, we all knew it would be. i'm thinking the fact that bowie's released something worth listening too, all the way through as well, is real news. i suppose heathen wasn't too bad, still, reality is better, and it has a funky little bonus cd with some rather nice additions. |
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so i realised i hadn't actually shown the full extent of the 'Argh! short!' haircut. here it is. my dream last night was bizarre, i gave birth to a still born and the doctor told me i had to digest it for it not to come back and kill me, so i had to eat it. i woke up really wanting bacon. there's something severely wrong with me i'll wager. |
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our most esteemed  scully is a year older today. i remember when he was just a babe in arms. wrapped in hessian and attended by wise men. aye.i have missions for today. involving THE CUBE amongst other things. i also have to get sainted today. remind me. i got engaged to hugmonkey last night in a tender display of desperation. we need a trip to venice, and this is the only thing on our wedding list [apart from a windmill, but that can wait, we'll just find one and squat]. cheques forwarded to me or matt please. thanking you. this week is looking vaguley interesting actually. this evening i'm venturing out to tiger tiger to have a meal with stumpy_thedwarf [i'm a whore] which will most likely be the most pleasent event of this week. seeing as my smophile is excellent. when she buggers off to uni i'll miss her a lot :(more and more i'm feeling like 'the one they left behind'. like the mad aunt of the family who they come to visit in the holidays. but i always feel like the mad aunt. always. dave's not dead yet. long live the thin white duke. |
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i tried to re-write the story in my user info, so it was a little more close to the actual events. there's no other way to tell the story i realise now. this is how i remember it. for the record stanislaw is still alive and living in a tall, thin, and very gloomy house in melton mowbray. and my parents do hold a grudge against mo mowlam. .....what the fuck am i listening to? |
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our most gracious gyre shared with me the photos he took last night. not all of them, but some were just too scary to share. contents: matthewp, nozza and gique being bizarre, beer, fruit_boy and tax looking drunk, tired and at the floor.( want to see? ) |
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all my heroes are dead or dying. time to replace them. but at least i had fun last night :D especially at the end when myself, gique, fruit_boy and gyre spent pretty much the final hour dancing our socks off to 80's pop :) i got far to excited by take on me. but then i wasn't exactly sober. the corset was a major improvement on the last one, i felt secure inside it which is always nice, i even managed to get in it and lace it up myself which i wasn't expecting to be remotely possible.anyway, people were seen and greeted, a generally nice time was had and now i am knackered and am driving in about an hour. my hair is also FAR too short. i will demonstrate how annoyingly short it is in due course. my neck is cold :( edit someone last night was wearing a shirt that read "straight edge isn't cool any more". never has a shirt been more correct :P |
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