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Friday, August 29th, 2003
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1:51 am
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I woke up this morning and realized there was a big bruise on my left knee, covering most of the knee and extending down towards the shin.
I didn't feel it yesterday, but it must have been made when I did the last stroke on the kata and got a little too eager. The last stroke of the kata always makes me eager, because it's an eager kind of movement. G told me not to jump so much. I have obviously viewed too much anime where the swordsman hero does huge slashes by leaping into the air and bringing the blade down by his body weight.
I wasn't looking forward to yesterday's training, two weeks not training felt like it added much extra time and that was convenient. I also wasn't looking forward to another 2 h of confused kata walking, not remembering the kata properly.
But the kata is starting to stick, or at least one side of it. It's true as G said, the body remembers even if the mind doesn't. Much of katori shinto ryu seems to be repetition and practice, repetition and practice. I don't mind at all. I like doing things over and over again.
The teacher told us that the o-sensei had told them that the entire rest of the practice lies in the first kata. Teacher said he still didn't fully understand what o-sensei meant by that. It's like a koan. I think much of understanding what he meant lies in actually doing the first kata as opposed to thinking about it.
The kata revealed some secrets yesterday. The movements shift the body weight from side to side, in a manner which is harmonious. It makes sense that swordsmen wanted to teach distribution of weight, rythm of strokes and distance judgment.
We were shown the first 5 iai kata, good for self practice. They have wonderful economy of movement. I've read about moving from the place of emptiness today and that idea fits perfectly with the iai kata. The teacher hints that we ought to practice at home. I could see myself doing that with the iai kata, since they don't require much space.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 8th, 2003
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4:31 am - "This world is an illusion"
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I was standing at the bus stop Sunday night, on my way home from a fun roleplaying game session.
I was pondering the saying "This world is an illusion".
The night was warm and quiet. It felt like I was in a dream.
I realized the difference between waking life and dreaming life is very small indeed, so small as to be insignificant.
I remembered a quote: "You do not awaken to reality, you awaken to the dream".
Many moments, maybe all of them, have a dreamlike quality.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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4:14 am - The nature of suffering
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One person asked me what I did when I saw someone bleeding on the street.
I didn't know what to say.
I wanted to say: "I question the nature of suffering."
But I didn't say that. I was afraid of sounding like an insensitive asshole.
But since I am an insensitive asshole, I think I should have said that anyway.
I realize that for most ppl, the way I view the world must sound insane, crazy. How can anyone disregard pain and suffering ?
The thing is, when faced with the question "you're suffering, now what" I usually don't know what to do. Well, I suffer.
I assume that's what other ppl do as well. I guess they have a faster "I want to get out of it" reflex.
I don't know what to say about it all. Some ppl suffer. I question the nature of suffering.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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2:49 am
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it's one of those nights
when the night seems to come alive
gain sentience on its own
it's quiet
and peaceful
the yellow light in the stairwell of the apartment building down by the bus stop, the
the white light from the garden lamp at the neighbor's one house over
there is rain in the air and clouds make the night dark
the summer rain holds the faint promise of fall and harsher weather
but that's far into the future
the night is still
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
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12:48 am
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On the surface, things are always happening, always something seemingly new, gravitating towards certain things nevertheless. The gravitation can be called "trends" or "whorls in the mass mind", focusing many minds onto one subject.
In another perspective, not much is happening. It's hard to recall the past, it's pointless to dream. Not many hopes or ambitions left and those that are left I question.
Few moods, either on, eager and ready or off, laid back and tired. It's easy to listen and talk with the singular voice, where there is none but something speaks regardless. It really feels like a shared thing, even though not many ppl notice.
It's air, that's what it is. Not constant happiness but something inside is always relaxed and unworried, even when the mind isn't.
I have reminisced about the day I really saw the big air. There was no turning back then. I thought nothing had changed but it did. The way I viewed things, my relationship to ppl. It got a bit more open and a bit more direct and a bit less attached, to parents and friends and worries and future.
Cooled down is the way to describe it. I do care but in a smaller format.
It's hard to learn something new, it feels pointless. It's hard to collect thoughts around worry or planning or keeping thoughts that are hard and cemented around something.
Just want to relax, open the mind, stay open.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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12:29 am
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haven't learned anything
haven't done anything
haven't said anything
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 10th, 2003
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11:53 pm - Online kimono stores
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If you're interested in buying second hand, vintage or modern, new or custom made kimono on the net, check out the link below.
The shop also sells kimono accessories, of all kinds, and ship internationally. Their web site features an easy to use engine that searches for kimono according to height. I just received a kimono I bought from them and was very pleased with the result. Check them out.
http://www.ichiroya.com
The following online store sells new and custom made (for tall westerners) kimono, plus cool stuff like straw hats, kamishimo, clogs, yukata, obi, tabi, hats for folk dancing, even those battle field fans you see in samurai movies. Very cool.
http://www.shop-japan.co.jp/english-boku/index.3html.htm
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 9th, 2003
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6:34 am
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3:11 am
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| Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
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1:24 am
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1:14 am
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| Friday, May 23rd, 2003
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2:21 am
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| Thursday, May 22nd, 2003
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2:41 am
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| Wednesday, May 21st, 2003
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2:24 am
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| Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
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12:30 am
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| Thursday, May 1st, 2003
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1:01 am
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Found in various friends journals. Apparently they're all very curious about hell.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
I have a feeling I'll be one of the snake haired demonesses when I get to Dis.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, April 7th, 2003
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2:09 am
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I haven't got much to say tonight, so just a picture of Dante right before he leaps off the tall building to get down to street level as fast as possible so he can fight more devils. He's a man with little time.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, March 28th, 2003
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1:42 am
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"contrary to popular opinion, love isn't a feeling
it's the absence of feeling, the absence of thought or intention
love is being
pure being and existence"
I think I'm getting what they're saying
love has no flavor at all
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 11th, 2003
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11:33 pm
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Found at  taransay's:
You are a Sidhe!! You are the beautiful, the elite,
the cream of the crop. LUXURY is the only word
to describe your tastes. But sometimes, luxury
and nobility by birth are not enough. To
survive, you need to loosen your collar a bit
and have a more open mind towards those you
view as being "beneath" you. You just
might be surprised at the things you can
accomplish.
Which Changeling Kith Best Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla
And I thought I was a vampire...
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, February 17th, 2003
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10:44 pm
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