| This one's for Cody |
[04 Nov 2002|09:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
friendly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
his eye is on the sparrow - lauryn hill |
] |
at the risk of looking corny, i got the lyrics for you, buddy. enjoy!
His Eye Is On The Sparrow
Why should I feel discouraged
Why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
I know He watches
I know He watches me
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
He watches me
I know
He watches
Me
|
|
| sing it loud and clear.... |
[04 Nov 2002|09:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shiver - coldplay |
] |
it's amazing how one car ride with a back rub, an arm around the shoulders, and a kiss before going inside can make a stressful, boring, lonely day just sort of disappear.
too bad my batteries ran out during my walk back from safeway this evening. oh well. like i said, one car ride....
|
|
| waiting waiting waiting.... |
[03 Nov 2002|08:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
still waiting - sum 41 |
] |
i've decided someone needs to fill this out for me. leave a message if you want me to fill it out for you.
1. what's my name:
2. how/where did we meet:
3. what's my middle name:
4. how long have you known me:
5. how well do you know me:
6. do i smoke:
7. do i believe in god:
8. when you first saw me what was your impression:
9. my astrological sign:
10. birthday:
11. natural colour hair:
12. colour eyes:
13. do i have any siblings:
14. have you ever had a crush on me:
15. what's one of my favorite things to do:
16. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
17. do i have any special talents:
18. would you consider me a friend:
19. if there were one good nickname for me what would it be:
20. are my parents still together:
21. what do i love:
22. how am i with dating:
23. how would you describe me to someone:
24. have we kissed:
25: tell me something else about me:
|
|
| savor every moment of this.... |
[03 Nov 2002|07:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
understanding in a car crash - thursday |
] |
i'm sad now.
i was really looking forward to tom petty.
especially since there was no creed.
but no.
the closest i would get to him would be section 318. the epitome of nosebleed seats.
i can see him closer on a music video. i think i'll pass on that.
damn....
|
|
| it's just a matter of time.... |
[03 Nov 2002|12:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
edge of the earth - 30 seconds to mars |
] |
so rehearsal sucked, as usual. the burger store is now my most extremely-hated scene that i have ever had to do. i think if lorraine hadn't been there we wouldn't have changed it to make even less sense than it already did. if we keep it then daddy just built a really nice trash can for absolutely nothing.
treasure spent the night last night. we went to the mall and poked around a bit. i bought some lip rings, reserved my copy of the new matchbox 20 cd that's coming out tomorrow, and the 30 seconds to mars cd that i had been craving for a long time. hoorah! other than that we just kinda wandered around doing nothing. we met up with my mom and dad for dinner at sweet tomatoes, and then went to blockbuster to rent rocky horror and the new guy. so we watched rocky, amelie (cuz i hadn't watched it on friday), and the new guy last night. it was great. amelie is cute. i should watch it again.
all right, it's sunday. i'm ready for monday to start.
|
|
| and the point of anime porn is............? |
[01 Nov 2002|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
when i'm gone - 3 doors down |
] |
tonight was fun.
nuff said.
|
|
| give me a few hours, i'll have this all sorted out.... |
[01 Nov 2002|11:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
cochise - audioslave |
] |
yesterday was kick-ass. it was halloween, of course it kicked ass. my halloween costume wasn't too great, but it was cool seeing everyone else's. and then there was halloween night....
i went and saw "the ring" with treavor, amanda, maddie, jason, and sara. that movie was AWESOME!!! it was fairly chilling throughout most of the movie, but there were a couple of spots where treavor's hand got a little squished because i was squeezing too hard. scared the crap outta me. i'm surprised i didn't have nightmares last night. afterwards we went to denneys and had hot chocolate, mozzarella sticks, and ice cream. it was great, probably one of the best halloweens i've had in a long time. then after everyone left, my mom took treavor home. they're plotting more on something, but i'm never gonna be able to figure it out. he gave me a riddle to solve, but i suck ass at riddles, so....
tonight i'm going with him and his family to the corn maze on sovie (sp?) island. it's gonna be great.
must go do something now. bye!
|
|
| you taste like honey, honey, tell me can i be your honey? |
[30 Oct 2002|09:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
always - saliva |
] |
so my costume is gonna look like shit. i waited until the last minute to look for a pirate costume and can't find one, so i'm gonna have to make do with what i have. i went to fred meyer's and bought some big hoopy earrings, so that'll work. i hope.
i always knew he was different. special. unique. what he's told me today just confirmed it all.
shit, i just realized i haven't done much in the way of being loving. he's said "i love you" a few times, even done sweet little things to say it, and all i've done is smiled and looked away. somebody punch me if i do that tomorrow.
rg, daddy was giving me a hard time today in tech!! he kept saying i was fat and that andrew (wright) was hotter than i was! and then he was trying to show treavor that i had a "bald spot" (which i don't) and i had my hand over it, and daddy told treavor to say "if you don't take your hand off, i won't go out with you any more." it was mean. very very mean. but it was all good, cuz then i heard about daddy being tortured in victoria's secret by his wife. hahahaha.
it was really weird, just before i got picked up, the fire alarm went off. twice. in 3 minutes. i think someone got into the school and was screwing around with the alarm, cuz the janitors had no clue what was going on, and daddy looked pretty panicked. odd.....
movie tomorrow. i get to see "the ring". it's gonna be GREAT!!!!
|
|
| in case of fire.... |
[29 Oct 2002|08:57pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
poem - taproot |
] |
i just thought sara would like to know this....
you know that one song "poem", the one you were trying to find forever and a day?
yeah, the lead singer of the band is really fucking hot. just so you know.
|
|
| he screamed "she lies that little slut!!!" |
[29 Oct 2002|08:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
when i'm gone - 3 doors down |
] |
i'm feeling very tired, but at the same time i'm really happy.
he's plotting something. he and amanda. people are planning something. against me! bah!!! and his MOM is in on it too!!!!!!
i hit my hand on the knobby-thingie on the water fountain on the way to 105, and now it's swelled up and hurts whenever i use it. therefore, it hurts to type right now.
rehearsal wasn't all that bad either. for a change. i almost forgot carisa's plants again, but i remembered towards the end of rehearsal. i left them in ingraham's room. bah....either way, i got dragged into getting a ride home. again. like i always do.
heehee....he's a sweetie. i don't care how many people dislike him, he can say the sweetest things. i mentioned that my eye started twitching again (it's been twitching for about 5 days!!!), and he said "well, that's cuz i was thinking about you". and he's said random things like "i'm crazy for you". aaaaaaaaaaaaah! happy happy happy happy happy happy!!
i think i'm gonna go do something for my hand....maybe it'll stop hurting enough so i can sleep??
|
|
| i'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me.... |
[28 Oct 2002|08:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
trouble - coldplay |
] |
rehearsal is seriously pissing me off. i always feel like we're NEVER getting anything accomplished, and it really doesn't help that we're stopping every 5 minutes to work on DETAILING that could be done during advocacy or before school or SOMETHING. the rest of us DO have lives and would like to get this god-forsaken ritual over with so we can carry on with them.
*whew!*
and another thing that's seriously pissing off is my advocate's substitute. i never thought i would see the day when i would say this, but i wish mrs. lagsdin was back. this sub, mrs. parvacock or something like that, is WORSE than lagsdin is. with lagsdin i feel like i'm in 6th grade. with this chick i feel like i'm back in 3rd. thank god mrs. green took over extended advo and i was allowed to check out!! which brings me to my next subject....
extended advo was good. i spent it all with him and we just kind of sat and talked, mostly about....ah hell, we talked about everything. i think i scared him because we sort of got to talking about me having (or used to have, anyway) a slight crush on jason. but it's all over and done with. he knows i would never go to jason. or at least i hope he does. yeah, he does, cuz we somewhat talked about it on the way home too.
he said he loves me. twice. and he called me special. i didn't think he still did, but he does. during rehearsal i was giddy as a schoolgirl. can anybody imagine that? especially during rehearsal, when i'm dead on my feet???
i also went downtown to doria's and checked out the new stuff. tamera's mother was there and she remembered me. it was great fun. i tried on this beautiful light-light-light yellow dress (looks almost off-white....actually, it might be), strapless and sort of victorian-lacey-looking. goreous. i'm thinking perfect prom dress. then i went to dinner at little italy's. couldn't finish it though, so i gave it to treasure.
and carisa will not be with us for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. SHIT!!!! TREAVOR NEVER GAVE ME THE PLANTS!!!!!!!!! ah crap, she's gonna seriously slaughter me if i screw this up....aw damn, aw damn, aw damn.....
well, my good mood just got thrown out the window. fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook.
|
|
| i breathe you, i taste you, i can't live without you.... |
[27 Oct 2002|03:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shiver - coldplay |
] |
i'm really bored. i had a nice conversation with chirs today though. we talked about our sex lives and about our past and whatnot. i need to call katie too. i haven't talked to her for a few months, and i feel kind of bad about it, because we're supposed to be best friends and we've kind of just....faded apart. i hate when this happens.
i'm starting to like mondays. it doesn't matter that i have a lot of crap to carry, or that i have rehearsals. i like mondays.
something about what happened....something made me shake inside. it was undescribable. the warmth....
i feel inspiration coming up.
|
|
| you are the light into my soul.... |
[27 Oct 2002|08:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
warm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
everything - lifehouse (in my head) |
] |
so last night was pretty damn fun. you guys don't need to know what i'm talking about, just know that it was fun.
i understand what he was talking about. the warmth was nice.
we were watching "rose red", and i swear, i don't care if treavor thinks the movie was predictable, i haven't been so scared since "the others".
and my foot really hurts. i think i need to not play football for a little while, because i'm going to continue to get bruises and woodburns. it doesn't help that we're playing football in 220. stupid techies....
ugh, rehearsal tomorrow. and voice lesson. i should have taken an LOA or something from voice, cuz right now i can't handle having to transport all over the place.
i think there's something wrong with my eye, because, even though it's not twitching, it's starting to water, like i have to cry but only in my right eye. how odd is that???
all right, i'm done, where's my coffee!!!
|
|
| thought i would post a quiz.... |
[26 Oct 2002|02:34pm] |
[1] Piercings?
2 in my ears. i want my cartilage pierced, maybe one more in each ear, and maybe my eyebrow.
[2] Tattoos?
not too many, but maybe 3. a scorpio symbol somewhere, a star somewhere, and maybe a chinese character on my shoulder.
[3] Gothic?
not exactly. i don't fall into categories easily.
[4] Religious?
hell no. i'm tolerant of other religions, but you couldn't get me to touch it with a 20 foot pole
[5] Guilty pleasure?
written porn. sue me
[6] Punk or pop?
punk. i hate pop, although a lot of the so-called "punk-pop" bands actually are good, if you think about it
[7] Do drugs?
not regularly. i've done pills and weed, but nothing else
[8] Drink beer?
busch beer is the tastiest.
[9] Smoke?
occasionally. it used to be that i couldn't sing without a cigarette in the morning. but i've been able to cut it down to once a month or so. good andyreah
[10] Ever tried to smoke or drink?
what's to try? i've done them both
[11] Ever stole?
not really. i stole a piece of candy when i was 6. and usually when i steal things from my friends i end up giving them back. unless they're pens. then those bitches are mine.
[12] Donuts or bread?
donuts are really good, especially early in the morning when you have to do tech or rehearsal.
[13] Chocolate or vanilla?
neither
[14] Fave season?
winter. it's cold, and it rains here. perfect weather
[15] Least fave season?
summer. it's the only season where the heat overcomes everything else
[16] Fave country?
danmark, italy, japan, thailand
[17] Fave state?
texas. and new york. they're the only places i will ever tolerate living in
[18] States been to?
washington, oregon, alaska, hawaii, california, arizona, new mexico, texas, alabama, minnesota, idaho, florida, georgia, virginia, west virginia, pennsylvania, maryland, new york, new jersey....i think that's it.
[19] Fave city?
houston, portland, huntsville, new york, tucson.
[20] Cities been to?
geeeeeeeez, don't make me list them all
( mOrE qUiZzY gOoDnEsS )
|
|
| fuck it, fight it, it's all the same.... |
[26 Oct 2002|02:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
poem - taproot |
] |
i really should be taking a nap right now. my right eye won't stop twitching, and that always means that i'm deprived of enough sleep. wow, i didn't really need my eye twitching to tell me that, but i suppose it's just a rude way of reminding me.
damn. i didn't get taco bell this afternoon, because "there was a household full of people" (<---my dad). ohk, so maybe my aunt, uncle, 2 cousins, and their new baby (DARLETT HAD HER BABY THIS WEEK!) are here, but the rest of them are 4th graders. woo hoo. i'm in dire need of taco bell!
last night i was reminded of my insane crush on jakob dylan (lead singer of the wallflowers). damn....maybe i should request some wallflowers cds for my birthday....
oooh! cupcakes!!
|
|
| oh my man, i love him so....he'll never know.... |
[25 Oct 2002|10:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dreaming my dreams - cranberries |
] |
today's been good fun. i had tech until 1 and burned a hole in my pants. my semi-new pants. it was great, and now my mom is annoyed. hehehe....
AND I GOT A LETTER FROM NATHANAEL!!! HOORAY!!!!! i miss him so much. i wish i could go and see him or something, but i wouldn't know the first place to start, or anything. the silly boy's gotten in 3 bike wrecks since he's been there. but at least he's taking proper care of himself. and at least he's happy.
rehearsal was a pain in the ass. i swear to god, if it wasn't for the fact that i was standing up the entire time, i think towards the end i would have fallen asleep. i was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking tired. and for the fact that he was there.
i don't know what it is that makes him so....comfortable? i'm not sure how to explain it. all i know is that when he's around, i can't help but smile, and when i'm in his arms it's like i'm at peace.
and i know i've told myself over and over again to take this one day at a time, but i would be lying if i said i didn't think i could stay with him forever.
|
|
| this is the best day i can ever remember.... |
[24 Oct 2002|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
let me in - save ferris |
] |
today was a lot of fun.
he met my grandmother, and there was an interesting conversation between him and my mother. long conversation too. mostly about politics and religion, both topics i never touch when i talk to my mother. good thing he didn't reveal too much.
then tech was great fun. although andy's stupid radio antenna cut me in the arm. stupid stupid stupid.
he also ate dinner with us, and it reminded me why i never bring my friends over for dinner. gawd....
we worked on his script for mia. it was interesting, i found out who he based the female character on. he might as well have written a love poem or something like that. anyways....
i think i'm starting to turn my mother against INGRAHAM!! YES!! THERE IS A GOD!!!
|
|
| one pair of candy lips.... |
[23 Oct 2002|09:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
your body is a wonderland - john mayer |
] |
so yeah, i won't be updating for a while because ingraham's a fucking whore and needs to die a slow and painful death and my mom needs to NOT take her side.
i just got back from the fragrance festival in portland. someone explain to me why i agreed to go to that. it was just a bunch of ritzy snobs who knew each other smelling perfume, and yes, i got some new stuff, but other than that it was super boring.
he comes over tomorrow morning! hooray!!! then around 11 my mom takes us to tech! so i'm NOT completely grounded. YEZ!!! i don't get to go paintballing on saturday cuz of schedule conflicts, and he was happy about that. showing a little sign of jealousy, are we?? it's good to have the tables turned....anyways! had a good conversation this afternoon too.
ugh, damn the mother. i must go before i end up like shaun: with no head.
|
|
| this is amusing! |
[21 Oct 2002|09:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i'd do anything - simple plan |
] |
this is great! i found this on some random journal and thought it was hilarious!
 omuse says:
God, this cracked me up.
"Just last week I saw two homosexual men at the supermarket. The supermarket! In broad daylight! That's what you get when you worship the creation instead of the creator." -Rev. Terry Glidden, Kan.
::gasp:: Homosexuals eat! And shop for groceries! And we're not vampires!
|
|
| shades of gold displayed naturally.... |
[21 Oct 2002|08:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
let me in - save ferris |
] |
so this saturday i get to go paintballing with jesse. woohoo????
it's not that i don't want to go paintballing, it's just that i would rather NOT meet jesse at all. i mean, don't get me wrong. he IS a nice guy. i just think that....you know....he just needs to back away a little. oh well, at least i'll have a party to look forward to afterwards. HAPPY 16TH SWEETIE!!!!
you know, if i'm so open with jesse, who's more or less a complete and total stranger, why can't i be as open with treavor, whom i've known for over a year?? he told me a riddle today that i had to guess in order to get my ring (my BRAND NEW ring) back, and i had an idea as to what it was but i wasn't about to tell him cuz i didn't want to be wrong. but just before he goes home he tells me the answer, and I WAS RIGHT. damn....i need to try more self-assertiveness.
showcase was interesting. i didn't really like the first performance, but the second one was definately unique. and rehearsal was somewhat boring. i didn't do much, but what scenes i DID do were so drawn out i felt like i was going to fall asleep on my feet. bah....
ingraham is a BITCH!!! she's emailed my parents telling them what assignments i've missed and all. well, EXCUSE THE FUCK OUTTA ME, but i TRIED turning in a late assignment last week and YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE IT!!!!! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!! *ahem-cough* i'm done. at least for now.
shit, i forgot (AGAIN) to do my research for my paper that was due last week in winkley's class. shyste. that damn boy gets me distracted constantly.
i wonder if jason's doing all right at the moment....
|
|
| cuz you won't let me in.... |
[20 Oct 2002|10:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
let me in - save ferris and "the breakfast club" |
] |
so why am i updating?
cuz i have the strangest feeling of calm....
and because i just remembered "the breakfast club" is one of my favorite movies. heeheehee.
|
|
| HEY DYLAN!! |
[19 Oct 2002|01:34pm] |
look what he did to me!!! you were too late with your gift!!!
just kidding =)
|
|
| neither of you really help me to sleep anymore.... |
[19 Oct 2002|01:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
la cienega just smiled - ryan adams |
] |
considering how i had a night of nightmares, arose at 630am, and needed 5 shots of espresso to wake me up, i've gotten much accomplished.
i took the psat this morning and sat across from jason. we had a gay-old time, making silent comments and laughing at the likes of eddie, cynthia, and kerry. great barrels of fun. too bad bonnie little (a.k.a. BITCHY LITTLE) was in charge of the psat and wouldn't let anybody do anything.
afterwards, jason invited me over to his house to see treavor. that was rather interesting. i did laugh a little as jason tried to put his bike on the bike rack on the bus and ended up hitting his head on the bus mirror. i spent half an hour or so at his house, just kind of chatting with jason's mom and treavor. good fun.
treavor's growing out a moustache. hooray? oh well....
alright, so i guess that's not much that i've accomplished, but i guess it's a lot to me. i need suggestions as to what to wear to the haunted mansion thingie on monday. i don't want to dress as myself. i'm thinking maybe all black (as usual), but these big white wings from fred meyer. i dunno, someone tell me what to wear.
ONE TIME ONLY!!
|
|
| some FridayFive |
[18 Oct 2002|08:24pm] |
1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
only two. tv isn't really all that big for me.
2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
i don't know....not all that much. especially recently, i have no time for anything now that rehearsals are going on.
3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
some of it, maybe, but not all of it.
4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?
usually it's star trek. i've been missing it for so long....
5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
i have no clue.
|
|
| everything freezes.... |
[18 Oct 2002|07:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
scared shitless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the scooby-doo movie in the backround |
] |
today was scary shit.
i'm sitting at the bus stop playing snake on my cell phone around 430 or so, and these 2 guys were crossing the street back and forth in the middle of traffic. i'm not paying much attention to them. the 71 comes up and picks up a couple of people, and i see out of my periforal vision that one of the guys is crossing the street again in front of the stopped bus. all of a sudden, i hear this sound, a mix between a "boom!" and a "bang!" and i look up, and oh my god.
the guy got hit by a black suv.
he spun around 3 times in the air and landed 15 or 20 feet from the bus.
his shoes were 40 feet apart and off of his feet.
there was a minute of shock, and then i called 911. i was so fucking scared i was talking as fast as my brother, and he talks pretty damn fast. i stood there for a good twenty minutes after the meds arrived, shaking and staring at the ground. what disturbed me the most was the lady from 911 told me to ask the guy how old he was, and he just opened his eyes and stared at me for a minute, then closed them and started moaning again.
i called my mom 5 minutes later and my voice was shaking, and then i got into school and started crying. thank god only a 7th grader saw me. then my mom picked me up and i was sitting next to the chicken just crying my eyes out because i was so scared and so upset and everything.
i had had a disturbing thought just 2 minutes before the accident too, but i'm not gonna put it down. i'm still in a lot of shock.
on a happier note, my grandmother bought me a ring, even though i wasn't getting confirmed. it's a white gold band with a ruby and 2 diamonds. it's beautiful.
excuse me while i go shake in a corner somewhere....
|
|
| until you're in these arms of mine.... |
[17 Oct 2002|09:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
impressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
in these arms - bon jovi |
] |
all i have to say is:
i can't wait for next time.
|
|
| "i can keep you warm...." |
[16 Oct 2002|09:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
for you to notice - dashboard confessional |
] |
today's been nice. well, all except for the fact that CREED CANCELLED THEIR FRICKEN CONCERT!!!! GAWD!!!
i think there's now a song incorporated in this. i got to listen to a bon jovi song at lunch time with my mexican food. if i'm still smiling by tomorrow afternoon, don't worry. it's just me being happy. i know it'll be a shock for people.
i was glad that he didn't go home when his dad picked her up. i was afraid that he would have left without saying goodbye. you can even ask amanda, i started pacing with this look on my face. i didn't tell her it was cuz i was upset that he had left. though he didn't really leave. bah, now i'm just being sappy, but still.
i really did want to go home with him, so he COULD keep me warm....
|
|
| i dare you to move.... |
[15 Oct 2002|09:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
for you to notice - dashboard confessional |
] |
today was a little better than yesterday, but not by much. at least he made more physicalness....? didn't make sense? too bad, you just had to be there to understand what i'm talking about.
so bryce came by the school, and me, him, treavor, and amanda went walking to safeway. bryce bought me a vanilla coke. i wish he hadn't, i could have just bought a dr. skipper from the vending machine outside. at least i could have afforded it myself.
tomorrow's wednesday too. he'll most likely have tech. i couldn't stay long, though, i have a hair thingie to go to. the stupid dye isn't staying in, so marilyn has to do it over and it sucks cuz i didn't want to have to go back in any sooner than i had to. oh well. at least thursday we'll be able to spend some time. thank god scott stapp didn't cancel AGAIN.
and for the record, i really am sick and tired about hearing carisa. when was the last time people complained to HER about ME being pissed, i MUST say. let me reiterate: if she WANTS to be pissed at me, if she WANTS to be pissed at him, then LET her. all she's doing is bringing it upon herself. and i've talked to her about being mad at me and she's basically putting salt in her own damn wound. eventually, i hope someone will tell her that it's really not that big of a deal and that everyone's been lied to by him at least once in their lives and that she needs to go someplace else. or at least leave me alone so i can be happy.
sighh....i'm done. i can't wait for thursday. and friday. although this weekend is REALLY going to suck. PSAT on saturday, and a train ride (wah....hoo?) on sunday. damn it all.
|
|
| what's the difference if i say i'll go away.... |
[14 Oct 2002|09:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
pretty good year - tori amos |
] |
it's sad. today was kind of not-fun. i barely got to spend any time with him today, cuz he did tech for the showcase, and then i had rehearsal and he was doing more tech, and he didn't go with the rest of the tekkies to watch fall show for "perspective" cuz he didn't want to see his sister acting and he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. how sweet?
so every once in a while i would sneak off and hang out w/ him and katie romily. it was good fun, but i could only do it twice or else annie would have yelled at me.
but i really missed him today. and he did too, he said so, even before i said anything he said "i missed you today". and we didn't even get to spend any time after rehearsal together cuz his mom was there. i did get a goodbye kiss though. and a promise that we'll talk to hitler-I MEAN, the short blonde one, about what's going on so she's no longer pissed at me. though i could care less....
i find that every day i find myself falling even more in love with him, but i'm being very restrained, which is either a good thing or a bad thing. i like being in love though. it makes me feel good.
i think this time around is going to bring us a lot closer. i dunno. just something in the way he looks at me makes me feel that way.
tomorrow's tuesday. i'm making friday OUR day, since he doesn't have tech and i don't have rehearsal. i think....
|
|
| caught a glimpse of your eyes.... |
[13 Oct 2002|09:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
you can hide it - blindside |
] |
tomorrow's monday!
i still have a bitch of geometry homework to do. and i have to turn in my core project eventually.
tomorrow's monday!!
i have no piano lessons tomorrow. i dropped them. i don't have the commitment to practice. not unlike the fact that i don't have the commitment to practice voice either, but at least voice comes naturally.
tomorrow's monday!!!
i have rehearsal tomorrow. and it appears that i will actually have time to eat dinner, since i'll only be spending half an hour with barbara instead of an hour.
tomorrow's monday!!!!
i went to lloyd center today and finally bought a super-cool red shirt, a black tank top, a new sweater that (hopefully) WON'T shrink in the wash, a new pair of pants, a sarong, and the new blindside cd. i spent all of my money. but i think i get paid tomorrow, so i'll have some money left over for dinner tomorrow, tuesday, and then for the concert on thursday. GO ME!!
oh yeah, TOMORROW'S MONDAY!!!!!
can you tell i'm anticipating?
|
|
| we're under the same sky.... |
[12 Oct 2002|11:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pensive |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
snl |
] |
i was sort of in the mood to do one of those lyrics surveys, and i was pretty much halfway done too. but then i just kinda lost interest.
it's really late. i should be going to sleep. i keep getting the feeling my mom's about to barge in here and bitch at me to go to sleep. or my dad. whichever will get pissed off first.
i wish it was monday already.
|
|
| you only get one shot.... |
[12 Oct 2002|06:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
pieces - hoobastank |
] |
so i'm talking to chris sturm online. it's the first time i've talked to him in a long time. he's got a new girlfriend, and (of course, being everyone's best buddy and confidante and i hear EVERYTHING whether i want to or not) they almost had sex last weekend. which is really odd, cuz he always said that he didn't want to have anyone else for his first time but me. no, it's not odd, it's just....
if i don't care about him so much, why do i feel so damn jealous?
and another thing!!! what is it with every single guy telling me his personal/sex life!!! like treavor and chris?? why do you think i really want to know??
|
|
| are you trying to wake me up? |
[12 Oct 2002|02:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sleepwalking - blindside |
] |
this time it's gonna be better. closer. happier. whole.
this time i'll make sure it works. you'll all see.
he really cares. really truly cares. if he didn't, he wouldn't worry about me getting home on dark nights, and he wouldn't force me to drink his soda, and he wouldn't ask me what i think we should do (or should have done).
he really cares. you'll all see.
|
|
| welcome to the planet.... |
[11 Oct 2002|10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"honey i shrunk the kids" on tv |
] |
ohk, i've got a new email address for those of you who haven't gotten an email about it. liquid_song1331@hotmail.com, for those of you who care. yup.
and i changed EVERYTHING, all in the course of an hour! go me!!
|
|
| now your eyes are the only thing that can save me.... |
[11 Oct 2002|04:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ready for love - india.arie |
] |
some lovely FridayFive....
1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
reanimation from linkin park, although i would most likely only listen to krwlng, just cuz it's a great song. or jagged little pill from alanis morrissette (sp?)
2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
snatch and moulin rouge. no question there.
3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
the snow garden, density of souls, and beauty
4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
chicken codron bleu, sushi, macaroni and cheese, and cheeseydogs (hot dogs with cheese in the center....yummy!!!)
5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?
treavor, katie palm, chris sturm, chris larson, and david king
rehearsal tomorrow. i'm actually looking forward to waking up early. it's weird. maybe cuz i know i'll get coffee.
i really don't want to go to dinner tonight. granted it's to celebrate my dad getting this new job, meaning he'll be out of state travelling for periods of time, meaning i won't have to put up with him harassing me all the time. but still. i would rather just stay home. preferrably with someone else, but it doesn't matter.
damn, that sheet music he gave me last night is COMPLICATED. but i'm working on the lyrics. i actually came up with better ones last night. again.
can't to wake up early, get coffee, and go to rehearsal tomorrow. HURRY UP AND GET HERE!!!
by the way, i don't know how many of you have listened to treavor's zumiez cd that he has, but for those of you that have, do you know who #7 is by?? just wondering....
|
|
| does he ever get the girl? |
[10 Oct 2002|09:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
prayer - disturbed |
] |
yes, he does.
anyway....today's been just a little crazy. people getting pissed. miscommunications. i discovered i say "miscommunication" funny. not that anyone mentioned it, it was just a self-evaluation. someone's grandmother is going to love me when she meets me (according to someone's mom). rehearsal was somewhat boring when my drum time was done. everybody cool (or at least all my buddies) were called back for drumming. which means one of two things: either i'm gonna be a dancer, or i'm doing nothing.
i'm thinking i need to call jesse back, cuz i told him i would call back in 10 minutes.
20 minutes ago.
|
|
| just thought i would post this.... |
[09 Oct 2002|08:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
geeky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
pitiful - blindside (i think) |
] |
here are the lyrics (so far) to OUR song:
Because I love you so
Don't leave me now
Through the night
To you
I love you so
yes, they're a little corny, but we spent a little while to try and come up with them. they'll get better. i'm part of the team, of COURSE it'll get better.
|
|
| ain't it just a bitch? |
[09 Oct 2002|08:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
flesh into gear - treavor's zumiez cd |
] |
bryce came by the school today. stupid dipshit has 3 stitches in between 2 of his fingers. his reason? he fell off a chair and a pencil went in between his fingers. good job, dumbass. he's awesome though. he'll be there tomorrow too. oh! and i've got the dork's picture!!
today was good. really good. i mean, you people really don't know how good it's been for me. i'm very very happy. although it's not too fun to have someone's mom drive up fifteen minutes early while you're busy, but it's all good. at least we were ACTUALLY working for most of the time.
we're making a song. it's pretty so far. i'm helping with the lyrics and i've helped to make the melody sound better. it'll be a good song.
alrighty, so....yeah.
|
|
| what, no song lyrics? |
[08 Oct 2002|07:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
thoughts inside my head |
] |
right now, my head is so full of words from other people that i can't really think of song lyrics, and kazaa's not playing at the moment.
up until just an hour and a half ago, today had been pretty blah. now....i think i'm pretty sure of what i want. and even though i sort-of-do care what she or anyone else thinks, it's just like he said: "you SHOULD listen to people, but you SHOULD also make your own opinions." that's probably one of the wiser things i've heard him say.
he does still care. he cares a LOT. i mean, it's not like i haven't seen it, but i mean....i guess it just really hit me today. i should tell him to talk to her and tell her the truth, that he doesn't think of her like that and that he doesn't want a relationship with her. i dunno, it just makes a lot more sense to me than lying to her. i just....
ugh. oh well. tomorrow. i'll tell him tomorrow. but didn't i want to sleep in tomorrow morning?!
sigh....i suppose i could wait until thursday, just like the rest of the school....
|
|
| lose yourself in the music.... |
[06 Oct 2002|12:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
when i'm gone - 3 doors down |
] |
the FridayFive for your sunday morning pleasure....
1. What size shoe do you wear?
i'm not sure what i wear in mens sizes, but i wear 9 1/2 or 10 in womens, depending on the style of the shoe
2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
3 pairs that i can actually fit into, but i know i have a bajillion in my closet. the problem is that they're all two sizes too small for me
3. What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
i like sneakers and flip-flops. my converse are awesome
4. Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Why are they your favorite?
my somewhat-new pair of converse. they're black with white seams and white stars on both sides. i love them, they're really comfortable, and the laces are really cool too. black laces with silver stars. they go really well together. oh yeah!
5. What's the most you've spent on one pair of shoes?
i think $59 for my new converse. which really sucks because i bought them at lloyd center, and then i went to vancouver mall and saw them for $49. i was pissed.
so yeah, guess who's gonna have their ass up late at night finishing their core project??
that's right, andyreah.
that's all right, i haven't gotten any sleep this weekend, so it's kind of gotten to be habitual. i just don't really care anymore.
|
|
