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Saturday, February 15th, 2003
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3:22 am - And the roses slit our hands all open
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At the very last row of a bus, a teenager sits, his head resting on the window, just lying there, staring outside the window, at the pitch black night, looking for something, something fading, now almost invisible…
With every bump in the road his head hits the window, as if he was a lifeless body, oblivious, unaware.
( Read more... )
current mood:  blank
current music: Haunting & Heartbreaking (Angelo Badalatelmi)
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| Friday, January 31st, 2003
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8:20 pm - The Mahoney thing...
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Jessica (Mahoney) came to my place yesterday at 11pm, she left my place at 3am....
First of all, what the fuck ? We hadn't talked in a month, I was over her, her name merely breezed my mind...So I was surprised. 11pm, My brother goes to the door and screams from downstairs " Adolfo, someone's looking for you!!!" Hmm, I think maybe Fabian, but that was unlikely, we hung out that same afternoon, and it was odd that my brother didn't know who it was, he knows most people that come look for me, there aren't that many options either...So I proceed downstairs, look outside the door...No fucking way, and I walk across the small yard in front of my place, confused by seeing this old chevy pick-up truck, my brain kept saying that there was no possibility of this being Jessica, well she was, and she wasn't alone, she was with Robin her friend. I approached, said hi "jump in" Jessica said with a smile, I don't jump in to anything, I needed an explanation, after some quick talk I went back to my house, got my shoes and we went to Cafe Brazil, all 3 of us had italian sodas to drink, Jessica had a meaty sandwich and Robin had a veggie sandwich, I was not hungry.
Let me describe Robin: Smart, as in "A's" in school, her favorite phrase was "life's beautiful" I scoffed at that, she's alright I guess, but she tries to hard to get a "wow, you so smart !" from people, we had a discussion at the cafe, but I was half listening, I didn't find her attractive to my senses.
Jessica was quiet most of the time at the cafe, which confused me, why the hell the she came for me then !?
About 12:30am we left the cafe, Robin had to go home, so we dropped her. We drove to my place and as we approached my place she shyly asked "Do you have school tomorrow? I don't want to go home right now..." I thought of it, said that there weren't many places we could go, I invited her in and she accepted.
We sat in a couch in the living room, a three-person couch, we took each side, a little space between, and we talked, and as time passed, I noticed her get more relaxed, she took her boots off, she sat closer to me, at one point our hands almost touched, I had my arm resting on top of the couch, facing her, always looking at her eyes, always. She's not happy with her boyfriend, she had lines like "I'm freaking out", "I need a break", "I want to be alone" and finally, the one that struck me the most "Dillon wasn't supposed to happen..."
I tried to see if she'd take this a step further, I tested her, but she said something about the commitment she has, I respected that, but I felt it, she did too. This will continued...I'm sure.
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Sound Check-gravity (Gorillaz)
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| Thursday, January 30th, 2003
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2:04 am - Panda girl and the Movie red-head
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There's Kima, I call her the "panda-girl" though, haha, it's just that her name reminds me of panda names. She's from Yugoslavia, she's on my philosophy class, she's cool, she has a cute smile, we walk together after the class (she actually waits for me, I find this amusing), I'm thinking of asking her out. And there's Angela, a girl I met at the Magnolia movie theater, she's cool too, movie fan (plus points) we talked for a while, I'm trying to get a job in there. They're both cute in their own way, and seemed like interesting girls.
*Update on the Panda-Girl situation: I did ask her out, she said yes, but next week, family from Yugoslavia are coming to see her, so things going good...
current mood:  complacent
current music: Angels (R.Williams)
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| Saturday, January 18th, 2003
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10:55 pm - what's new...
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Well College started, and I really enjoyed my philosophy and photography classes, english seems cool too, a lot of writing is going to be involved, the only thing that I won't ever like...Math. Ugh, but can't wait to start taking pictures !! and it's all black and white, which I love and all dark room work too !
So the aquarium thing, the check came for $595, I got $395 and Fabian got the rest, he got the project, he helped some and it seemed fair enough. But I already spent all my money, in books and all my material for photography. And still can't get a freaking job...sigh.
What else... Ohh yeah, yesterday I hung out with Rachel, she had tickets for this Figure skating thing, so we went, that was something new, and afterwards we went to Hooters which proved visually entertaining and the philly cheese-steak sandwich was good too, I had a good time.
And every day that passes I long to grow wings and reach for all that I want of my life but is still on hold...
current mood:  calm
current music: Partita No 2 for Solo Violin (Bach)
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| Friday, January 10th, 2003
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8:18 pm
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So... the Dallas World Aquarium owner liked an animation I made for his plane company...$500 a piece ! it's only 4 minutes long ! he already wants another one !
*rolls in money*
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 3rd, 2003
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11:27 pm - Broke, yet again...
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The few money I had I spent on Movies and on books.
WATCH THIS MOVIES: (in this order)
1* Adaptation
2*Gangs of New York
3*Catch Me if You Can
4*Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
I loved, really loved Adaptation, Spike Jonze on his second film after Being John Malkovich, with same screenwriter Charlie Kaufman in a very unique film, really something, 5 seconds into it you know this is not your regular flick.
Gangs of New York, Wow, even that I worshipped Martin Scorsese after masterpieces such as Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Casino, etc, etc... Hmm, how odd, Robert de Niro is in all of those movies too, hehe, just noticed. But Gangs was just epic, beautiful in it's decadent, chaotic world, great stuff. And the best in the movie was Daniel Day Lewis, Bill the Butcher, wow, this character was so impressive, one of those characters that stays with you forever, like Jack, from "The Shinning", or Kaizer Soze from "The Usual suspects", I hope he gets and Oscar, he deserves it more than anyone.
And finally I bought another episode of the Vampire Chronicles...The Interview with the Vampire, yeah, the most popular one, but I couldn't resist, it was a very early edition, from 1976, and I love the smaell of old books...
current mood: mellow
current music: Una Furtiva Lacrima (Luciano Pavarotti)
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| Monday, December 30th, 2002
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7:20 pm
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Cold water pours outside, like never-ending tears sliding in my window, strong gusts of wind pull the rain telling it where to go, as if it was a lost ghost pulled and pushed by the wind's will...The skies are dark, the brightest color outside is gray, with some violent flashes of white, it's almost quiet, just every now and them a car passes by, and loud bangs, as if the skies cried in pain with every thunder... it feels perfect outside, if you'd ask me how I feel, I'd point to my window.
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| Saturday, December 28th, 2002
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2:11 am - Memories that seem depraved fiction.
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Tonight I was cleaning out my closet (shut up eminem), I sat in there and started pulling out stuff, hundreds of cd cases, books, magazines, papers, trash. But somethings in there just grabbed me and pulled me back in time...
I came upon love letters, letters from my one love, my one girl, my one angel. Reading through that gave me mixed feelings, it amazed me how much passion we had for each other, how we loved each other and everything else was meaningless. In every letter I felt this warmth, this truth, I was loved so amazingly , I was everything for someone, "a prince" it read in the various letters, from "an angel" it ended, and that is true, only an angel could've loved the way she did. And god do I miss to love and be loved in such way, with her I was someone else, in her arms I found something that made everything else that haunted me go away, and the taste of her lips, that is what I miss the most, how we kissed, how warm it felt, how sweet and entrancing it was...And I want to give myself away to someone like that, but it took me 17 years to found her, after a long isolation, a true angel, and now after more than a year from that kiss goodbye, a kiss with her dad just a few feet away in the car waiting to take me to the airport, a shy kiss, a kiss outside her job in a parking lot, a kiss that should've lasted longer for the sake of my sanity, a kiss that stays with me...And now I feel I want it again, but yet, I need to find someone as special, I need to open up...
There is the melancholy that loneliness brings mixing bitterly with the beautiful memories that this letters bring, and when it gets to hard to read, I close my eyes, and I see you, I feel you, I love you...But opening my eyes it's always oh so cruel, I want to stay in my dream, in a small house where it was only you and me, in a single bed were we would cuddle into peaceful sleep, I want that dream so much...
current mood: indescribable
current music: Dosed (Red hot chili peppers)
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| Saturday, December 21st, 2002
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6:16 pm - Airport Paranoia
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Ugh...Today I woke up at 7am, seriously, I hallucinate at those times, my subconscious refuses to let go...
The reason: I had to take my mom's friend, Gloria to the airport. Things where boring...Until we got to the airport, heh, I loooove looking suspicious, and I so looked suspicious ! I had black pants, and a dark grey sweatshirt, my face was totally messed up (for the reasons previously explained) unshaved, my hair... my hair was a psychopath's dream do. So I start staring at security people, they were lots ! it was great, I even went to the machines they have, and played with it, the thing kept blinking "explosives". Now days, they have to open all bags and go through it to every inch, for 2 bags they would take about 8 minutes, they also rub this little piece of cloth all over the luggage, inside and outside, it wasn't to hard to figure that this was to find residues of say... gunpowder and bomb type stuff. So I tell my theories of their machinery to a safety-guy and he freaks out, and starts asking me questions, and I start making up this russian like accent (I don't look much like an arab, so whatelse ?) and he has this look like he wants to call for back up and strip search me, hehe...But when things got too kinky I told my officer-man there that I wasn't traveling, just looking around, and I left...They kept an eye on me for the rest of the time I was there though *thumbs up* for Airport Security.
I was sooo tempted to make a scene, ahh yes, sweet panic ! I'm a psycho ? Well yes. But you must understand that on early mornings I'm paranoid and suicidal, very much so, you must keep this in mind, but I stopped myself, cause they gave guns and handcuffs and all that not as fun stuff.
I think I watch a lot of movies :)
current mood:  bored
current music: Graceland (Plastilina Mosh)
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| Thursday, December 12th, 2002
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6:45 pm - We hugged...
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We hugged (12/12/2002-18:45)
This morning I was in a very bad mood cause I woke up at 8 am, and about 11 am I was walking around, and I hear Jessica's voice, and I thought I was going insane, I was really worried at this point… Then after some hard thinking I realized that it was the answering machine in my mom's room, mind you that I was very much asleep. So I picked up the phone, and she still was on the line, we hadn’t talked since I called to tell her I was here, and I wasn’t planning on calling her in a while... We talked on the phone for a while, she wanted to come by my house, because she was going to be around (she lives 30 min away). I didn't give it too much thought and said sure...
1:17 pm...I'm at my kitchen making myself some ice tea when I hear this truck passing by, it's her ! She has this 80's chevy pick up truck, I knew right away it was her, I dropped everything and went to look through my window, it was her. I got nervous...I never get nervous with people !!! But as soon as she stepped of her truck I calmed down and waited at the door, a few feet before she reached my door I opened up, she looked at me and smiled, I smiled too, we traded "hey's" and we hugged... That felt good, it really did, she came in and we went upstairs to my room where we talked for a while and I gave her some stuff I had brought from Mexico...We decided to go eat, we went to Chik-fil-a, got a couple chicken sandwiches (duh) and we talked and talked...for about 2 and half hours...
It was great, we had that same connection we've always had...She told me everything what was going with her life, all that is going on with Dillon (her bf)...And she even admitted she had feelings for me…”Sometimes I couldn’t think of Dillon…You left me with a big impression…” (she still does, I know, I feel it) And we kept talking...I released some things I really needed too, nothing like "I love you!" because I don't, I just told her that I thought of her a lot during my 4 month hiatus in Mexico, I wanted to do so many things with her, I wanted a chance...
We went back to my house, we said goodbye, she got in her truck and she left...
We hugged...But I had to let go...
*I know I could turn her attention back to me, get rid of Dillon, but I’m not in love, I want to date her yes, but this guy loves her, I just want to get to know her better, to do things together…
-*But I’m alone…I’ve been for too long.
current mood: thoughtful
current music: Man that you fear (Marylin Manson)
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 8th, 2002
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8:39 pm - We talked...
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Bittersweet...That's the taste in me right now...
I called Jessica, to her line...no answer...I called to her parents line...Her mom picks up, she greets me, recognizes me and she knew I was gone for a few months and she passes the phone to Jessica...
And we talked. I was happy to hear from her, I was sad that I wasn't on time...We talked, she's better, it seems, Dillon, her bf was at her place, I kept telling her that we could chat later, so she could go with her bf, she refused and we talked and kept talking...Maybe 15 min. Old regular stuff, nothing of my feelings, nothing else...At the end she said she'd like to see me, I told her we could remember old times by having a mocha latte at starbucks, she pleased, agreed...
*sigh* I don't want to like her anymore, we can just be friends, I don't want feelings for her, take them away...please, it hurts.
current mood:  uncomfortable
current music: Eye (Smashing Pumpkins)
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1:27 am - Angelika and morning blood
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Friday, I puked a little blood in the morning (always good for mornings) don't know why, I wasn't feeling all that good, and later on I picked my classes at Richland College for spring, Math (for retarded people because I didn't take Algebra 2 in high school), English, Photography and Art, I think Math is going to be the only thing I'll hate. I don't know if I'll need a SLR camera for photography, I've always wanted one but they're expensive, maybe Fabian lets me borrow his. I have to pay $275 on Jan. 2nd, not bad.
I think I'll be working at the Angelika, a movie theater, it's not a regular movie theater, it's a fancier one, and it emphasizes on independent film making, which is very cool, the whole style of the theater is a retro style, a lot of vintage posters, fifties type techno designs, it's hard to describe, but it is very cool, so I'd enjoy to work there, tomorrow I'll be dropping the application.
I think that is all, ahh, Rachel left me an email, she didn't know my phone number so I called and left a message on her cellphone, I called Jessica but no answer on her phone, I left a message saying that I'd like to say hi to her, that's all, I even tried her parents phone, but no answer, last I heard (about a month ago) she left her house and was living with Dillon, her beloved bf, but if she wasn't going to to back, why keep her phone line still working at her house...
current mood: thoughtful
current music: Plateu (Nirvana)
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| Friday, December 6th, 2002
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6:55 pm - The states
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I'm finally back. I'm happy to be back, but I know there is an obstacle-filled road ahead, but hey, maybe it's worth it. I saw Fabian and Britney yesterday, they where very surprised, Britney kept poking me and saying "you're here..." I still want to see Jessica and see how is she, I haven't heard from her, we'll see what happens...
As soon as I started playing music in my iMac, I danced ! hehe, you have no idead how much fun this cute machines are...
I hope everyone is well, I'm back !
current mood: calm
current music: "And all that could have been" NIN
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, November 30th, 2002
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1:23 pm - Maybe Monday
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| Thursday, November 21st, 2002
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4:45 pm
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1:03 pm - updating, woo fucking hoo...
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So what's new? well I get my Visa in a couple weeks (max)
Reading "The Family" by Mario Puzo, same guy that wrote "The Godfather" it's starting pretty good.
I saw "Frida" yesterday, it's about the life of Frida Kahlo, a very unique mexican painter. The movie was great, I loved the direction, Julie Taymor (Titus) has balls, she went her way and it worked, during the movie we see Frida's paintings, and they swirl into reality and the surreal world of the paintings. I loved it. Watch it.
Tuesday afternoon, dad’s office, he had just arrived from the factory, first thing I noticed, he had crashed his Lincoln, the right back door was totaled, now way to even move it, the driver’s door was a little damaged, but you could still open it. On the way here my dad ran a stop sign, a pickup truck ran into him, and my dad fled, he just drove faster from there on, the guy that came with him, an employee was scared shitless. This Lincoln, no it’s not the same you know, this is another one, same model but light blue, they seem to like this cars, spacious trunks…So my dad was hungry so he told me to go get something to eat, 5 min in the road, 2 separate cop-motorcycles start to tail me…Fuck, I have a license, but this car has no plates, tags, or any papers, it only has a fake permit, so after half an hour of arguing, one left, and I offered the other one $10 dollars, he declined and said he had to take the car in, I called my dad, they talked for 10 min. he accepted to let me go for $10. Later that day, driving my dad another cop, this one on the street tried to stop me, my dad properly said “ tell him to go fuck himself” that was a bit too much, so I flipped him off(on my dad's advice), cop chased me, but I had way too much advantage, boo!
Later that same day we went to Victor's place, dad's friend. he had a truck place, really big property, and at the very back, were we found him, he had a rooster farm, he raises roosters for cock fighting (I'll be using cock a lot, so stop giggling), he has this kick ass bred of Cuban-Argentinian cocks, each cost a piece about $1500 dollars. Cock fights are to the death, the cocks have a blade in their leg, that's how they kill the other cock, I'm not a fan of this, just telling a story. When we left, Victor gave my dad a package of cuban cigars, about 30 in there, each costs $50 dollars, nice friends, eh ?
so I guess that's it, umm, yeah...Quote time !
"The idea of God is the sole wrong for which I cannot forgive mankind."
[Donatien Alphonse Francois, le Marquis de Sade]
current mood: blah
current music: Partita No 2 for Solo Violin (Bach)
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| Wednesday, November 13th, 2002
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3:44 pm - Outer Wings
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design I made for a shirt, it can be an angel or a devil, when I made it I thought of religion myths, anatomy and I was feeling nihilistic...
The lyrics by M.Manson read:
"In space the stars are no nearer
They just glitter like a morgue
And I dreamed I was a spaceman
Burned like a moth in a flame
And our world was so fucking gone"
any comments? and please remember this is for a shirt, flashy stuff does not works on cotton.
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1:20 am - Aerials
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I did this for my cousin Nayeli, she's 14, I hadn't seen her or her sister Yesalin (she's cool too) for about 8 years...Nayeli loves system of a down, and I really like their music, they have a lot of personality, especially Serj their lead singer and Daron at the guitar, they're original, and don't stay on the same track, maybe a little too loud for certain moods, but definately haves a punch.
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| Sunday, November 10th, 2002
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1:43 am
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Back in Monterrey...
bored...
new user pic & background, felt a little bleu...
current mood: bored
current music: Die, All Right (The Hives)
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| Wednesday, November 6th, 2002
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1:42 pm - Fly away
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I fly to Monterrey today, I finally leave Tabasco, it's been really hot here, can't stand it any longer the average temp is 120 degrees...
It has a stop in Mexico city then I get to Monterrey, I'm taking lots of pics, too bad I won't see the beautiful mountains in Monterrey, it will be late night.
What a perfect day to be on a plane, a storm...Last times I was in one it wasn't that fun, emergency landing and all, remember Crystal ? I would've died happy, though...
current mood: blah
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