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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2002.09.05  10.30 i haven't written in a long time so i guess it would be customary to post about how my summer went. last night, kelly clarkson was the american idol, entertaining but no surprise there. merry and i are a doubles pair for tennis, we ahve a meet today and than class at stony brook that kaitlyn and briana are also taking, Women Studies, it should interesting. i am still living off of the money i made from the camp while trying to find a job and save up for barcelona, almost earned all the money though. the college search is almost complete, i did a fair amount of research and as of now my list of colleges are, in no particulate order: nyu-college of the arts and sciences fairfield trinity in CT Connecticute college skidmore in saratoga springs, ny college of the holy cross CUNY hunter-honors program (maybe, if i don't get that program i'm not going) dickinson in PA, maybe i'm kinda leaning against that one thats about it, all in all i enjoyed my summer, i had some good times, an di am looking forward to this year. i have a lot of things to look forward, i am a little stressed about college and applications and things like that, and finding time for everything, but i hope it will all work out. i hope everyone has a first good day of school tomorrow and enjoyed their summers

	2002.08.09  10.05 they have changed the lj format...interesting http://www.cdnow.com/cgi-bin/mserver/pagename=/RP/GENRES/cms_genres.html/fid=334328 (interview with moby) i don't know any other way to describe what i am feeling than fuck, but that doesn't help or explain. i feel horrible . this kid danny will be the death of me. he was almost killed today. he has an obsession with my sister, and he sees her across the street with her group. he thinks we are behind, so he goes to cross the street and a car is coming. i screamed his name and pulled him back, but if he had continued he would have been hit. i don't know if he would have but it sure looked like he was going to keep going. he doesn't even look to see if cars are coming. he was like "i wanted to get to your sister, her group is ahead of us, we are gonna be late." it sounds harmless, but its not. i can't take this. i feel like crying. 5 weeks so far of temper tantrums, whining, crying, fighting, etc. im guessing he as ADHD, but why the hell won't his parents put him on medication?! and he is always touching girls, and they back away, and he sees nothing wrong with it. i finally had to threaten to take his gameboy away so he'd stop. and i did that again when he crossed the street. he didn't see anything wrong with it. it probably doesn't seem that bad , i don't know, but it is. i hate him sometimes. well, not hate, but i d on't like him at all. i know its not his fault but he is too much for one person. i hate his parents more for putting this camp through this. this hasn't helped at all, only laughing about it did, but it's not funny any more.

	2002.08.01  09.14 i feel sick Which Ani DiFranco Album Are You? Brought to you by Tracie at work, the pay totally sucks and i am really mad. they are always behind so i end up getting...not what i am supposed to be getting. i really need money! i guess i'll go job hunting again this weekend. today, many plans/errands. i hope the weekend is something to look forward to. i don't feel so hot. haha. i think i'm getting sick.

	2002.07.31  19.32 How Will You Die? intriguing....

	2002.07.27  13.23 gonna go make a mix tape for my car. cuz i can drive it. yea.

	2002.07.27  13.21 i feel like i should write something , but i don't feel like it. to sum up the week, life's been good. but busy. and the camp ends soon, so life keeps on looking better each day. i just wish i had more time to do ..stuff.

	2002.07.12  09.15 i edited this entry because i was thinking about it and realized the poem had to go, because if you didn't know what i was talking about it was a little frightening. right now i am at the camp. everyday they have computers-it is my favorite part of the day. they are going to to tye dye shirts from 10-12, as well, so tahts good, then i ahve lunch. one week and already i am tired of this, and it pays 6.25, so the most i will make a week is like 200 or 250 a week, and thats not enough for my trip to spain next year, so i'll need another job. i wouldn't have to worry about the money so much but i bought a clarinet earlier in the year so i need to make up for that money i took out. it feels like school, i come home and have little time to do what i want , but i still waste time. my group is fine, except for i boy who has serious mood swings. one minute he's very happy, then some one hurts him and he is crying. its too much sometimes, just too much. right now he is waving his arms in the air because he won at this game. sooooo irritating. i don't like kids as much as i used to, if i even liked them all that much before. i've learned from this: 1. candy makes kids stop crying 2. i don't want to be a teacher 3. 4th and 5th graders have little control of motor functions still 4. they can eat surpriseling large quantities of food. 5. i like girls better than boys, and i only have 1 girl in my group every other day, and its not fair! every 2 weeks i'll lose some kids and gets others, but if i get another job that pays better, i'll leave probably in 3 weeks, depending on whether i get another job. i see this as 5 weeks to go, 23 days because i'll be missing two for my road test and a dentist appointment (thank god). its not really really bad, its rather easy, and not bad at all, i just like to complain about everything! not matter what the job is, i know i'll complain. one girl was crying because she was leaving, yesterday was her last day as a counselor, but i've never had a job where i liked it that much, when we left 3vi we went out to eat to celebrate hahah and i am not joking. this isn't 1/2 as bad, but in someways bussing is better. this is stressful in different ways. i want to go on aim but its not working. i want to see road to perdition this weekend-but i have no $ because we get paid every two weeks, i hate that too. i think i'll try to find a bussing job to do once or twice a week so at least i'll ahve some cash. if anyone wants to see road though, i'll go. jude law and tom hanks-you can't go wrong with that. last weekend i saw sleepless in seattle for like the 15th time, and then when harry met sally. sleepless is slowlyg but surely becoming one of those movies i can see 100 times and still be happy at the endin, which is kinda sad i think, but i still like it. basically this past week i played tennis, i was supposed to have a clarinet lesson but couldn't because my parents had to go to a wake. a week from today i have my road test-i will pass! if i tell myself that i'll have the confidence, i think i will, but i thought i would pass the first time and didn't so we'll see how it goes. if i'm able to see my friends at least 3 times a week i'll be happy. i have some good things to look forward to in a the next 2 months, but i just need to see them! i guess i'll go look at collegeboard.com, i have everyday so far trying to find a college to look at this summer, and i am also going to go to nydailynews.com to read parts of their review of the road to perdition,not the plot parts just the " its really good" parts so not too much is given away because i hate when that happens.

	2002.07.06  14.13 Take the The "What Teen Label Do You Fit Into Most?" Quiz! by antiperfect "wow. that test was so bad" ~merry. exactly.

	2002.07.05  17.21 for all you saved by the bell people who wanted to know: the max

	2002.07.03  19.03 tonights episode of "leave it to beaver" was as follows: the beave gets a new typewrite but can't type, so he asks eddie to do it for him. well, the teacher loved it and said how happy he was that beave typed it. beaver gets upset because he "cheated" by letting eddie type the paper that beave wrote himself, so when he has another report to hand in he writes it and tells his teacher that the typewriter is broken. all is good now, because the beave promises to himself to learn how to type. but wait, his mom is at the school for a "mom" meeting, and she sees the teacher, who is so sorry that the typewriter is broken....i'm sure you saw 10 sentences ago where this was going. oh god, the problems they had in the ...50s (?) . besides that, today we confirmed our job at the stony brook camp, so i'll be doing that for a few weeks unless i don't like it, then i am going to quit. i saw "the accidental tourist" because i really like the book. no other movies besides that though. and i got some books ro read. tonight "showgirls" is on-i heard it was one of the worst movies ever made, so i want to see it. presently i am looking up colleges, and then i think i'll go driving with my dad, but i'm reallly really tired today so i might not. i hate how i can never make a decision, and at this point it is really obvious. i must make a decision about school. much research must be done, and i hope i choose the right one. Mood: tired Music: billy idol-white wedding (you're my billy idol)

	2002.07.01  22.17 i love moby: conagra just recalled almost 400,000 pounds of ground beef due to possible e. coli contamination.you know, i'm a vegan but i'm not a proselytyzing vegan. nor am i a very good speller. i'm sure that's not how you spell 'proselytyzing'. butanyway. i have this weird little test that i think people should take. here goes: take 3 glasses of water. in the first glass you put an orange slice. in the second glass you put a baby carrot. in the 3rd glass you put a tablespoon of ground beef. which glasses of water would you be willing to drink? just curious. just go to www.moby.com and read his journal-very interesting man. i think when i am older i'll be a vegetarian, not very strict. i like chicken and veggies, but i thinking giving up hamburgers and meatballs will be hard. speaking of very interesting men-i just saw "a life less ordinary" w/ ewan mcgregor.cameron diaz - she cannot sing for her life! i thought she could , cuz she did in "mask and i thought she was just pretending for the movie's sake in "my best friend's wedding, but she really can't sing. ewan sang too-he sings in everything!!!! let's see: moulin rouge, emma, a life... and velvet goldmine, he also has a song thing for trainspotting, which i still have to see. a life... was good, but i missed the first 1/2 hour so i was reallly confused at the end, i think i'm gonna go to yahoo.com and see what exactly it was about. for all you physics people-mr dwyer said that the way they scored the regents, even if you get 67% right, you just failed. with bio, 48% right was passing! for the classes, the average was like a 78, and the regents people are probably gonna be sued. for our averages, he took what we should have gotten with scoring from last year and averaged that into our grade (very nice). all in all, an 89 ( which is 92% of the test right) should have been like a 92, even a 95 on last years regents. i'm thinking of writing a short story about this girls obsession with a movie star, how her firends all like him and watch his movies and stuff, but something goes horribly wrong with this girl and she takes it too far. i think it would be fun, and i have a lot of 1st hand experiences to add!!! haha. i was thinking, for the movie stars name, "ewan reeves" a mix between "you-in" and our man keanu. hahah. i'm really sad-i took the letters in ewan's name and rearranged them to form another, but it was really hard and i was left over with hard letters to work with. oh well. i had too much time on my hands today! Mood: amused Music: jack johnson is on letterman tonight. wooooo

	2002.07.01  16.26 Take The Ewan McGregor Test! love him!

	2002.06.27  11.29 ohmygod!!!!!!!! hahahahaha other people have seen this movie?! you're velvet goldmine. you're sparkly and beautiful, and possibly from another world. take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

	2002.06.27  11.28 you're american beauty. you're full of hope and appreciate the beautiful things in life. take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community. i'm bored, so now i am going to see what other possible choices there were. so far, summer has been ok. i saw scooby doo-don't see it. looking for a job today i think, might go to tanger outlets to get sandals and sneakers. in cosmogirl they had an a thing on what type of makeup red heads should get, so i think i'll get what they recommended ( brown mascara, purple or bronze shadow). i'm really happy they for some reason now my hair gets kinda curly when i just let it dry naturally, so i think i'll get "john freida frizz ease" or something so it looks nice when i let it dry naturally. i've always admired hair that was curly and wanted it. i'm thinking of starting to write a short story, i like the idea and when its developed a little bit more maybe i'll share. i know many of you can relate to it.it'll be a comedy/horror/psychological thriller (i think). i think i'll go read or work on some summer assignments :(, before i see what other movie choices were available, that is. and maybe i'll call bridget. her bf is on a cruise, and this week is my only chance to see her before he comes back and takes her away! hahaha. Mood: amused Music: norah jones-don't know why. have been downloading a lot of techno music from car commercials lately, i think its about time i stop.

	2002.06.20  21.06 i was thinking about good movies that i've always watch when i was younger or just good movies that everyone liked from their child hood, like "now and then " or something like that, so to make this kinda fun ..question: what is your favorite movie or a movie that you love to watch ? thanks. my all time favs: matrix moulin rouge little mermaid american beauty when harry met sally i can alwasy see: sixteen candles wild hearts can't be broken splash gidget don't ask why!

	2002.06.14  13.36 this is so funny-and its not a joke! Award Amount Maximum: $2500 Deadline Date June 14, 2002 Awards Available 6 Description The Duck Brand Duct Tape Stuck on Prom Contest is available to students age 14 years or older who are attending a high school prom in the spring of 2002. You must be a U.S. citizen, including the District of Columbia, but excluding Puerto Rico. You must enter as a couple (two Individuals) and attend a high school prom wearing complete attire or accessories made from duct tape. Each couple must submit a color photograph of the two of you together in prom attire. The awards for this contest range from honorable mention prizes of Duck Tape sportswear to a first place prize of a $2,500 scholarship for each member of the winning couple and a $2,500 cash prize to the school that hosts the prom. hahahahah

	2002.06.11  17.20 If you were a Francesca Lia Block book, which one would you be? take the quiz here! i liked this one the least!

	2002.06.08  09.37 last night went to lara's party-i had a lot of fun hanging out with my friends (briana, kaitlyn, merry, ivy, nadia, jeanette, carolyn), i had a feeling it would be a little weird being around a bunch of people who i normally don't hang out with and who are all friends, but it wasn't-maybe because we didn't talk to them that much haha. but they are nice and i had fun. today was my last day of driver's ed! its over! road test on wednesday, i really want to pass and i hope i do, i think i should. i have to make sure i don't get too nervous, and i have to practive parallel parking in my mom's car, if its too much trouble maybe we can take it in my dad's car-soon to be me and merry's car. i want my own car, that'd be nice, but it won't happen haha. today:clarinet lesson, practive parallel parking, maybe go for a run, sudy, and possibly apply for a job at cvs? i'll see.

	2002.06.06  03.36 Physical Appearance: 1. what do you most like about your body? hands, sometimes hair, i'd like curly hair 2. and least? legs 3. how many fillings do you have? 2 or 3 4. Do you think you're good looking? sometimes, i don't make much of an effort most of the time and some days i feel i am really ugly, and others kinda pretty, so i guess that pretty much goes along with sometimes 5. do other people often tell you that you're good-looking? my mom 6. Do you look like any celebrities? no fashion: 1. Do you wear a watch? no 2. how many coats and jackets do you own?6, at most 7 3. favorite pants/skirt color? jean color or tan 4. most expensive item of clothing? a dress i wore twice for sweet 16s or a coat i got this past winter 5. what kind of shoes do you wear? sneakers, tivas, flip flops your friends: 1. Do your friends 'know' you? only the part i expose, i wish i was more, i guess uniform? i act differently around everyone, and are only truly myself when i am by myself or with my sister and/or my mom sometimes, i get confused sometimes about which one is the real me... 2. what do they tend to be like? funny, intelligent, caring 3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked? i'm quiet and don't bother people that much, and i have an image since middle school of being nice so people generally think i'm nice and thats all they know about me, but that is my fault 4. How many people do you tell everything to? 0, i confide a lot to 3-4 5. how many people tell you everything? 0 Love: 1. Have you ever loved a person so much that it hurt? yes. but in a friend, daughter sister way. 2. how many people do you say 'I love you' to on a daily basis? 5 ( mom,dad, matt, grandma, and friend) 3. Have you ever cheated on your significant other? n/a 4. If not, would you ever if given the chance with the guy/girl of your dreams? no music/tv/film/books: 1. Favorite artist/band ever? no doubt holds a special place in my heart 2. most listened to artist/bands: it changes, but john mayer, tori, ani, dispatch, hedwig, moulin rouge, rusted root 3. Do you find any musicians good-looking? john mayer, ewan mcgregor haha he counts!, brandon boyd-not so much him but his voice 4. can you play an instrument? piano and clarinet 5. types of music most listened to? alternative, indie, rock, female singer songwriters 6. Types never listened to? i've listened to a lot but i don't like all i've heard 7. favorite book? gone with the wind, recently :the stranger was good underwear: 1. ladies, do you like to wear thongs? no 2. guys, boxers or briefs? - 3. what is the nicest color for underwear? black 4. do you find it uncomfortable without a bra? no. i can stand not wearing one, sometimes its more comfortable without one when bras are annoying-haha too much information 5. do you make it a habit of showing people your underwear? i did once and never again, only merry and bridget were witnesses religion: 1. do you detest religion? no, i'm still trying to sort out what i believe, i'm at the stage in my life where i am figuring out what i believe in and what i want to follow, but i feel that right now some form of religion will always be present in my life 2. how do you think this universe was formed (explain in detail)? the science way 3. if you currently follow a religion, do you think people who belong to another religion are ignorant? no 4. if you were in a hostage situation, and you were given a choice to either praise the demon they follow or die would you? i would rather die professing the truth than lie to live, so yes. yes i would. homosexuality: 1. what is the first thing you think when you see two gay/lesbian people holding hands? honestly: i want to be the most open, accepting person i can be and i see nothing wrong with homosexuality, but if i were to see people of the same sex kissing (holding hands is fine ) i would be uncomfortable if it were in my presence, because i have never seen it in person-only in movies, but i see nothing wrong with it. 2. do you detest homosexuality? no 3. do you agree or disagree with gay or lesbian couples bringing up children? agree, they have every right to raise children, it is so unfair to deny them that general questions: 1. who do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment? what about woman alive? either way, no idea 2. what do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day? sunny 3. do you consider yourself lucky? in certain areas yes, in others no, but i feel i am lucky to be living a very good life when compared to others around the world, or even in suffolk county. for track we went to amityville and i never loved mt sinai more than when i was in that school 4. do you feel pity for people who commit suicide? yes, they didn't get the help they needed. but, its a painful thing and people shouldn't be looked down upon for it 5. choose one word to describe how you feel most often: shy

	2002.06.04  15.15 i am very sad: i want a good quote next year for the year book so i went online looking for quotes, i have 2 ideas quotes i already had i n mind so i guess ill just have to pick one, i like them they are good. i guess ill show them to ya, my ideas. #1 "its allright to let yourself go as long as you can get yourself back"~mick jagger #2 ""What would happen if you melted? You know, you never really hear this talked about much, but spontaneous combustion? It exists!...[people] burn from within...sometimes they'll be in a wooden chair and the chair won't burn, but there'll be nothing left of the person. Except sometimes his teeth. Or the heart. No one speaks about this, but its for real." ~keanu reeves i'd paraphrase that of course, but its led to so many good times in my life i think its become a part of me and my high school career, its embodies everything a quote shoud be: shocking ,memorable, funny and moranic., and check out this site its kinda funny, the guy has some fun making fun of him http://www.oxygen.ie/cine/cine_masterclass_keanu.php3

	2002.06.04  15.01 eating cherries... thats my title but too lazy to do that schedule for next year: (what movie is that from, this woman, or man i don't remember, says "blahblhablha...shchedule...blahblahblha.." yes it is very vague but i want to know!) 1-Band 2-ap english 3-study hall/economics 4-ap calculus 5-ap enviromental science 6-ap sciene/gym 7-music foundations 8-french iv-ugh 9-criminal justice/study hall somewhat boring, repetitive, music and science but all is good not that i wasn't to begin with, but im thinking a lot about college this past week, i kinda relaxed about thinking about it cuz i had other stuff to worry about, like track and sats and such, and now finals, but it sneaks in there sometimes. i was thinking psychology or sociologyu, somewhere in that field, but i odn't know now. maybe music? i probably won't want to teach and play professionaly instead but i don't know! what can any you see me doing? yes, you. sometimes i get in the mood where i want to help people and not do something selfish, but make good money. i love music an dplaying but my theory is ok, and i'll probably end up teaching and im not teacher material, i'd "die". i say that now whenever my mom asks me if i want to go to a college in the city, cuz i would die. im sick of writing about myself, but what else is there to write about in my livejournal? i need so much lately-a job. mostly. i think ill call elk grille about bussing there todya but hopefully they don't need me ahaha . sorry you probably don't find that funny. i want to make good money, so bussing is obvious, but its just doing it that smells. ( was debating between writing stinks or sucks cuz when i was younger i always thought sucks was a bad curse word and its not but it kinda stuck and i never say it, so i wrote smells instead.). \ i love john mayer, i listen to him all the time and you should too. these next few words can be found in anyones lj these days, but i will write them anyway: must exercise and cut back on sweets. there we go, just so you know that is a goal of mine as well. i also want to read a lot this summer, see all the movies ive wanted to see, and then some, and have a lot of fun this summer, pass my road test next week, make money. figure out what college im going to , visit it, and pick my major. i guess ill take some advice from frankie goes to hollywood and "relax" but not in the way he meant it . or at least i think he meant it.

	2002.05.27  11.20 sometimes you think you try hard to keep it together and other times you know you could be trying harder, and you try to make the effort to make it last but then you realize whats the point cuz they don't care anyway

	2002.05.22  21.00 Weezer is well aware of the emo fan base that helped revitalize its career leading up to the success of 2001's Weezer (a.k.a., The Green Album), and it has tapped into that scene for a summer shed tour kicking off in early July in support of its latest release, Maladroit. Weezer's Rivers Cuomo told a journalist this week that he's invited emo-favorite Dashboard Confessional, as well as New York rockers the Strokes, out for a six-week summer shed tour kicking off in early July in Salt Lake City (exact dates are still forthcoming). However, while a spokesperson has confirmed that Dashboard Confessional is indeed on board, the Strokes' rep has yet to confirm their participation in the tour. The Strokes are only expected to appear on a few dates, while Dashboard Confessional is on the entire tour at this point.

	2002.05.19  11.36 which Episode II character are you? Probably the greatest Jedi Knight of all. Like Obi Wan, you are wise and keep your feet on the ground at all times. You will not be outsmarted by anyone. You are always faithful to your friends. Be careful though, danger lurks around every corner - you could even be betrayed by those closest to you. hahahahahha. i wish. i have no desire to see that movie, even though ewan is in it

	2002.05.19  11.34 which Episode II character are you? Queen of Naboo. You could have a split personality - simply to hide who you really are. You are extremely polite and gentle. However, if needs be, you will take action and can be a very good leader. You have the power to make people believe in you - use this power. The one you love could also end up being the one you hate.