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Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
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10:05 am
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Well, here's the general update for the past two days:
Friday night,  yinyangdragon and I went to the city with his friend Mike to go to Comic Strip Live, which is where all the big comedy stars got their start- Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, those sorts of people. So this should be a really rockin' night, right?
Well, Mike neglected to mention that there would be a lot of walking. A LOT of walking. So I, the out of shape computer geek leaves the house in boots and proceeds to walk about five miles through the city.
I didn't know blisters could get that big.
Then yesterday was Raph's going away party, so of course we had to be there. So I just made my poor legs hate me even more.
So now the bottoms of my feet don't hurt too bad, except where my blisters are, but everytime I use a muscle in my lower leg, I feel it. Bad.
adriannightpaw, I'm sorry I made "gimp" noises when you walked with that cast on your foot. I'm ten times worse. :)
So yeah, I'm a general mess, it takes me five minutes to cross the room, and ten more to get upstairs to use the bathroom. I find it all very funny until I have to walk, and even then it's still kinda funny...
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| Friday, August 1st, 2003
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5:49 pm
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I've had yet more bizzare dreams. Again, they involve adriannightpaw.
I don't remember all that much about this one, except it involved him and a giant cake with white frosting. It was cut into pieces and falling over and such, and I was trying desperately to keep the cake in one piece.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 29th, 2003
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4:01 am
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Had the most bizarre dream last night.
adriannightpaw and I were shoplifting a lot of overpriced knickknacks from some museum's gift shop so we could sell them on ebay and buy one of those teddy bears that are bigger than you are, so I would have a place to sleep at night.
I shit you not.
Knicknacks acquired, we then got into a wreck in his Tempo on the interstate.
And then today I find out he DID get in a wreck. Thank the goddess you're okay, hun.
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| Thursday, July 24th, 2003
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8:31 pm
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I just thought to mention the bizarre dreams I've been having.
I keep dreaming that I am male. Sometimes with certain female company, sometimes simply going about normal dream stuff. But always male.
I wonder if it means something.
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8:29 pm - Lonely.
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I don't know what to do with myself today.
I'm so lonely. I feel cut off from those I love most. In some cases it's intentional and for the best, but even so it hurts.
You know, when I was a kid, nothing like this was possible. The world revolved around me. If only "they" got to know me, then they would adore me and do whatever I asked, because I only wanted what would make everyone, including myself, happy. I suppose I saw myself as the ideal little queen or goddess. If only everyone understood that I knew best, then the world would be an infinitely better place.
I think that little inner queen is very confused right now. Why doesn't anyone understand?
Why is it that I have tried to give the best of myself, freely, and in the end I haven't "won the girl?" I feel like a cowboy that's ridden off into a fake sunset.
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| Monday, July 21st, 2003
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2:36 pm
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Well, good news is, I think I've finally reset myself.
I slept most of yesterday afternoon, then still managed to sleep from 10pm to 9am.
Thank goodness. ^^
I'll post again later when I have something to talk about.
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| Sunday, July 20th, 2003
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6:25 am - Bleh.
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I am insufferably insomniac as of late. I can only partially blame this on Galaxies, as I have attempted to make it a personal rule not to play after 4am. This is a reasonable bedtime for me in my world, yet I still find myself awake until 8-10am and sleeping in 2-5 hour fits at random intervals throughout the day.
I've tried to "reset" myself by just staying up all night and going to bed early the next day, but I pass out either in midmorning or late afternoon for a few hours, which starts the process all over again.
I am not happy about this.
At any rate, I'm going to try once again to stay up today, but I doubt I'll manage it. yinyangdragon works today from 10am to 6:30pm or so, and thus I'll be alone for quite some time. I'll have nobody to help keep me awake. :(
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| Thursday, July 17th, 2003
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10:31 am
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Sad that I'm posting for the sake of posting. I really wish I had something besides galaxies to talk about.
The fact that I am posting at all without the servers being down is a good sign.
Hopefully this'll wear off faster than EQ did, because I am already partially immune to the online gaming experience.
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| Saturday, July 12th, 2003
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8:02 am - Argh.
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Galaxies has eaten my head.
I am now an artisan, working to eventually become a master tailor. I may go into armorsmithing, and I dance in the cantina in my spare time.
Gods help me.
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| Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
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7:45 pm
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I can't believe this.
I just got out of a MMORPG a while ago. A year, or so. Evercrack ate my head for quite some time.
Now, because of yinyangdragon's friend Seanie, I've discovered the new game Star Wars Galaxies.
Don't get me wrong, I was never a hardcore Star Wars fan, and that made me even more surprised when I fell in love with the game. I saw it on a laptop with all the graphics turned all the way down, and it looked like old-school Everquest. But here's what got to me: it's what EQ should have been.
There are no levels in this game. You gain experience for doing things, be it blasting something or making travel rations, and this experience allows you to work your way up the skill tree... but you don't automatically progress. When you have enough experience in a certain skill (say, surveying, which allows you to find raw materials) then you have to find someone better than you at surveying to teach you the skill, and they gain experience for teaching. Sure, you can go to an NPC trainer, but they charge you an arm and a leg. You even gain experience for other people using any crafted goods you make, so selling or giving away the stuff is always better than just dumping it.
There are no NPC vendors in this game. Any weapon, armor, item, clothing, food, or who knows what else are all made by players. Even if you want to change something about your character's appearance, players can get skill in "hairdressing" which allows them to change it for you.
If you desire, you can play the game without ever entering combat. If you're a medic, why would you need to kill things to gain experience? In that instance you gain skill by treating wounds. My favorite part of Everquest was always the trade skills, and you're actually encouraged and rewarded if you spend your time becoming an armorsmith rather than a killing machine, which you are not in EQ.
Naturally, my computer with my old video card can't run the game, but as my mom is sending us money to get a new one, I could be running the game before the end of the week.
I think it's going to eat my head.
current mood:  pleased
current music: Dean Evenson - To Tree Or Not To Tree
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| Sunday, July 6th, 2003
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3:05 pm
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003
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9:48 pm
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Hmm.
I now have a (technically) new computer whirring away at my feet.
We have a new case, motherboard, processor, memory, and CD-RW plus DVD-ROM drive. The video and sound cards are the old ones from my computer... so other than its speed, performance-wise it's not that much different... except now I have a proper amount of memory, and now my old video card can run what it was supposed to be able to all along and never did. My mom is supposedly going to give us some money to help us buy a new video card, so that'll be updated soon I hope.
I'm happy, all things considered. We still have to figure out how to install the second fan for the case (the screws provided don't seem to fit in the holes) and I have to get used to win2k, but I'm still satisfied.
Hopefully I will keep up with this journal better in future.
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| Saturday, June 14th, 2003
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8:54 pm
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Hrm.
Removed a LJ community from my friends list, so now the thing no longer intimidates me. As of today, you can now bitch at me again if you post something and I don't read it.
In other news...
On Monday, Don's mom will be giving us $500 to put together a new computer. Between Don's comp and mine we have almost all the essential parts... we just need a new case, memory, and new video and sound cards. So I'm going to learn this as I go and put it together myself.
I've never been a hardware person. Until very recently I had no idea what the "processor" was really, just that a Pentium 4 was better than a Pentium 3. (It's a big chip-type thing that you put onto your motherboard.) At any rate, I may actually be able to play last year's games now. ;)
Will update more in future. I hope.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: cartoons in the background
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| Sunday, June 8th, 2003
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9:17 am
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Ever had a situation where something was made/done/purchased/created expressly for you, but you didn't notice the little "for you!" tag because it simply couldn't have been yours?
I just ran across such a situation.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
A thousand times, I love you.
Now I wish I could stop crying...
current mood: teary and impossibly content
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9:14 am
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| Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
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1:42 am
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Wow, two posts without a long silence in between. Look out, world!
Am feeling better after my stint of coding, though things haven't quite returned back to normal. I consider myself a "real" programmer now... I have gone through the... interesting experience of living on a combination of sugar and caffeine for three days and literally thinking in code. Honest. Like, when Don called from work to check on me, I actually had a little trouble after the "hello" because my brain was attempting to translate the ideas I wanted to get across into code rather than English. I'm back to thinking in English now, thanks. ;)
I've been having the oddest dreams lately. Not odd as in there's a monster eating my head, but odd as in he's singing the Oompa-Loompa song while he's doing it. I dreamed I moved to Japan the other night... and lived in the biggest apartment building ever. It had everything there- from a giant cafeteria (which at the time was serving nothing but spaghetti for some reason) to businesses and a mall-type area. While it was cool, the details were just strange.
Oh well. I gots things to do before bed- goodnight everyone.
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| Friday, May 23rd, 2003
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3:41 am
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I live.
There's little else I can say right now. Life attempted to eat me, and succeeded for several weeks. I'm not even going to bother going through my backlog of friends' posts at this point, sorry to whoever this annoys.
I just recently spent three days solid writing a card game program for my VB class, and while it's not all that pretty (yet) it has all essential functions and is a fun little variation on solitaire that I'm quite proud of to be perfectly honest. When I'm not royally tired, I shall expand on it, find a compiler (damn the library for not installing not-completely-essential parts of Visual Studio) and post a copy for you all to amuse yourselves with.
In other news... (I use that phrase a lot, don't I?)
My cousin Melanie attempted suicide. I don't have a lot of information because apparently her parents don't consider me high enough on the food chain, but it involved a bottle of pills of some kind, a locked bathroom door and much screaming. She didn't take them, so she's fine physically, but they've put her in Whitfield, the local nuthouse, and I feel immensely sorry for the poor girl. Anyone from the Jackson area knows what it means to be in Whitfield. Please send her a prayer or two... I'm trying very hard to get on the list of those allowed to write to her there, but for a while not even her parents were allowed to talk to her so I'm sure you can imagine how that's going.
A very short while after that incident, her father, my Uncle Mark, apparently purchased a Harley and subsequently crashed it, breaking several ribs and both collarbones and in my opinion making a royal fool of himself with his midlife crisis.
My mom is desperately unhappy in Mississippi and since I moved out has been trying to get a job in Ohio to be closer to my brother and me. The job hunt has gone very poorly, but she's apparently so lonely that she's considering moving anyway, and if/when she does she's going to enlist Don and I to help her. I feel kinda sorry for her...
Feh. I've been exhausted for a week because of that damn programming project, no matter how much I sleep. I haven't the patience for this tonight.
Anyone who wishes to contact me can always use email. If I don't reply, email me again. I always answer my email when I receive it, but I don't always receive phone messages or read my friends list.
I hope I haven't pissed anyone off by disappearing. I seem to do that a lot.
current mood:  anxious
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| Monday, April 28th, 2003
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1:23 pm
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Damn. I think I need to get smacked or something if I don't post once a week. My new resolution is to post at least once a day, but that doesn't seem to be working well yet. Feh.
At any rate, my dear aoniedesade posted about her tattooing exploits recently, and this made me think about ink myself.
I want tattoos, dammit.
1. Rainbow triple moon on my right hip. Not the triplemoon that involves a full moon (look at one, bottom center) but three crescents in a circle, points facing outward... outlined in black, filled with pale grey (if possible, do they make that color ink?) and flecks of rainbow colors... think the colors of an opal.
2. Tiny pixie somewhere upon my person, matching a tiny dragoness somewhere upon aoniedesade's person. If she still wants to do that. We plotted it so long ago. :)
3. Japanese-esque water pattern around my ankle and down my foot. See any example of old Japanese art that involves the ocean to see what I mean.
4. Small (perhaps 2-in across) pair of dragon wings on my back.
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| Friday, April 18th, 2003
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8:57 pm
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Am in a Very Bad Mood today.
Mostly because I am cold, tired, hungry, and horny.
Actually, now that I think about it, I'm cold enough that my legs are numb from mid-calf or so down. I can't feel my feet, which might partially explain my lonely, disconnected feeling that is at the heart of my bitchiness.
I feel like a rather useless and unloved creature at the moment.
And for the life of me, I can't get yinyangdragon's posts to show up on my friends list. This upsets me to no end.
current mood:  cranky
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| Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
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1:22 pm
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Life is eating my head, goddammit.
Anyway.
Essentially, I have a ton on my plate right now. I have an interview for the cashier job at Mitsuwa on Friday, and am going to be driving the route myself tomorrow and, hopefully, tonight if all goes well. yinyangdragon felt like shit warmed over this morning, and may not feel like it.
I also feel a touch more human than usual at the moment, I'm shower fresh and dripping hair-water all over... ::looks:: a dirty pair of yinyangdragon's khakis. Oh well, if he's gonna leave them in the chair all the time, they're getting sat on. ;)
I'm currently trying very hard to eliminate old, bad habits and introduce some good ones... fortunately, posting more often is on the "good habits" list... but unfortunately it's somewhat lower on the list than, say, being employed.
Oh, and there's nothing like Japanese boys dancing in fig leaves and being incredibly silly to cheer you up. If you can, download the music video for Yatta! by Happatai, but at least get the mp3. Kazaa apparently approves of it, as I just retrieved a new copy of the mp3 after this bitch of a computer ate the first one.
current mood:  optimistic
current music: Happatai - Yatta!
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