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Sunday, March 31st, 2002
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12:36 am - sigh
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keeping in mind this is just a reflection. its going on 2 am. could my fucking dad not get FUCKING DRUNK? is it honestly that hard not to make a fucking DICK out of ones self for a night? i suppose the answer is no, cant argue with results. Lectures that lead nowhere, my mom smoothing it over. STOP FUCKING SMOOTHING IT OVER. everything pauses, but never fully ceases. relatives, all fucking drunks. gambling, smoking, drinking. telling me to change my hair. MY FUCKING HAIR? GET A FUCKING LIFE or lose it. confide into darkness, my room, my computer. read. have to for school. school sucks FUCKING NUTSACK. do those fuckers just want to screw my vacation? ulcer, stress. FUCK THEM. tomorrow it will be different. never good enough. never good enough for my dad. have to get grades, grades grades MOTHER FUCKGING GRADES. he went to 2 years of college at suffolk DEADBEAT community and amounted to JACK SHIT. i do his god damn job for him and make $20. one particular person. couldnt be with them. ask myself why? why does anything ever get to me? fear, fear of my FUCKING dad. keep the grades up or end up like him, living like a parasite. check cashed? money gone? dad gone? money spent on booze and alchohol. tells me the value of a dollar. mom smooths over. WHEN WILL IT FUCKGING STOP? WHEN? CAN I SIT AND BE NORMAL? SMOOTH IT OVER LIKE DEAR OLD MOTHER. FUCK. for one i dont vent. but sometimes shit really gets to you, like a rubber band pulled to its last strains of strenth, someday we all snap. this world is shot to shit, and we will destroy everyone and everything, beginning with ourselves. happy easter mother fuckers.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: siberian kiss- glass motherfucking jaw
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, March 11th, 2002
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7:28 pm
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whoa, it was brought to my attention that i havent used this here thing in a while, and wouldnt ya know it its true. shiz, aint that fun. i cant wait to go to sleep. glassjaw rules. i cant find the other mindless self indulgence cd anywhere. they're comin to the city, 18 and up. shit. im a lifeguard! i passed my test, i am now certified to guard lives (maniacle laughter). sweet. deca trip was a while ago, and it was the shit. im at loss of sleep because we only slept from 4am to 6am every night for 4 days. takes a lot out of you. im not wearing any pants right now and no one knows except me......
current mood:  groggy
current music: pretty lush-glassjaw
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 7th, 2002
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2:18 pm
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2:02 pm
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since my computer hasnt been in full function i guess you could call it i havent been able to do much with it until now. this week is finally gonna be over thank you god. drivers ed was today and our teacher person's actually really nice so i lucked out. lifeguarding was hard work and im really damn tired because i had to drag this like 200 lbs kid all the way across the pool without a tube (sigh) and then pull him out on a back board so im ready for sleep. tomorrow i gotta play music i dont know with the chorus and mr roberts is going to shit a brick but hey, its worth it i guess.
current mood:  drained
current music: stranger than fiction-moe
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 5th, 2002
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7:59 am
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zing! i have drivers ed on wednesday for the first time whoo. the show was fun saturday even though we didnt make a lot of money. there was this human rights assembly today that me andrew and gabe accompanied the chorus for. the assembly was called diversity, yet one of the songs we played was called unity. anyway i was supposed to get the drummer from Kid Blast's cybals from gabe and take them home but didnt and i got to take a little ride with them today. grabina's dirty. anyway my moms bitching at me to get off the computer to do homework. next year im taking photography because it seems like a fun thing to do but i feel like a poser because all the smithies got to it first. oh well. ima go do homework then go to jazz band.
current mood:  creative
current music: boys dont cry-the cure
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, February 1st, 2002
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10:00 pm
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yeah today was ok? i think i fell off the honor roll but ima have to check that out because its bullshit. i had the last diving meet of the year, the infamous county meet actally. i did good, 9th place in the county which almost doesnt suck. im playin a show tomorrow. extremely unprepared so its gonna be fun. im at gabes. woo. later butt pirates.
current mood:  mellow
current music: sabotage- beastie boys (fuck yeah)
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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8:40 pm
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You're rock, alternative, techo, and everything in between. You music varies from views on society, love, life, relationships, and emotions. You also like to write fun songs with funky lyrics like, "On this page, you see a little girl giggling at a hippopotamus, I wonder why?" You're like no other band out there, you cannot be compared, your lead singer is hot, and you're definitely unique and fun.
Yehp, that pretty much sums it up ((relaxes in self admiration)).
well anyway, all scarcasms aside today was long and im burnt. yes, burnt, i dont care about the real spelling. the pasta party tonight was great, 6 lbs of spaghetti (not all consumed by me, it was the whole swim/dive team) and a great game of cranium with 16 people. tomorrow will be fairly relaxing, some subs and a few periods off. but after school is the diving county meet and im real nervous but hey, after its over, its over. no more diving. sigh, i cant wait.
Day 1. (if you know what im talking about anyway) talk to everyone later
current mood:  lazy
current music: ready for love-msi
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
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10:32 pm - more
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today turned out to be much more complicated then i believe it should have been but hey no complaints. im behind in a buncha classes because i left my backpack in school and now im dead for tomorrow. pretty sweet huh? drivers ed starts next week its only a matter of months until the pimpmobile is in full effect. big day tomorrow, i have to somehow tell mr roberts and mr kern that i cant go to either of their rehearsals because it is my last diving practice (woo hoo) but its basically suicide and im gonna get kicked out of the shows because they're both whores. i was supposed to dive tonight because i missed practice today but my parents never showed up to drive me. absence with an excuse suits me. then i got band practice tomorrow and a pasta party for the county meet on friday. gosh damn. not to mention swimming in the morning. ima be wiped. false appearance show on saturday at mollie blooms, main street smithtown 2-6 its ilke $7 which is pretty gay but hey, we dont make the rules. go if ya can its appreciated.
"yo wicked gay but then today i think i'll be hardcore, if i forget to take my medicine then i'll be sick, and im so hot to trot im stealin all my beats from the blacks, and i watch golden girls its where i steal all my acts" MSI
current mood:  stressed
current music: kill the rock-msi
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(comment on this)
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10:15 pm
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6:07 pm
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well it turns out the ny phillaharmonic isnt really that exciting, maybe in an actual performance, but we only went for their rehearsal. then we had lunch and it was bad and then we went on a boring tour of lincoln center but hey, its better than school. ima go draw a picture.
current mood:  artistic
current music: again and again by moe.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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9:37 pm
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9:42 am - plaf!
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i finally got the hang of this contraption. no diving for 2 days im psyched! and after friday its all over. mindless self indulgence is insane. pit practice for the musical today after school, 2 and a half freaking hours is a long time to play the same crap. "im lower than most animals and fear what might be weird and all the voices in my head have every right to be there" more msi, sorry but theyve become somewhat of a religion. field trip tomorrow, no anything! bikitybam. to the city i go to see the new york philaharmonic play. eh, its better than school. failed the bio midterm! which is ok because i passed everything else and it evens out i guess. long day though-wakeup, dive, school, practice with mr roberts for the pops concert (he gets less straight every time i see him), pit rehearsal, almost enough time to eat a sandwich, jazz band for a total time of 15 hours spent at school for the day. land of the free.
current mood:  chipper
current music: golden i - mindless self indulgence
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 28th, 2002
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10:04 pm - just a thought
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individuality is taken too far
some dont express it when looked as stereotypes
jocks pops
punks are individuals yes?
yet dress the same
and classified with core
a class system subclassed
emo hardcore softcore metal
punk because of individuality?
individuls know no class
"we" as a generalization for punks is a contradiction
perhaps the most punk we'll see in anyone is that man without a house but he's still happy because he's got pants
punk
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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9:10 pm - my debut
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I dont know. uhh, i think i'll have more to write tomorrow. for now i'll leave you with a quote. "because I reign supreme in my own backyard i got the final solution final somebody want somebody want somebody want my necktie bite your rhymes i kick my juice"-Mindless Self Indulgence
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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optimistic