Aurora's LiveJournal

Time:	8:13 pm.
Mood:	melancholy.
Music:	Apocalyptica - Enter Sandman.

It's been a while since I wrote anything here so I figured since I've got some time, I might as well.

This last week has seen a lot of ups and downs in my life. Especially health wise. I started feeling pretty bad on Tuesday and it just got worse as the week progressed. Yesterday it came to a head and for a while there I thought I'd have to run to the hospital. Fortunately, it passed... thank gods. *heavy sigh*

My daughter is sick also. Just the flu, thank goodness...

What else to write about? Well.. all the puter problems were eventually worked out.. course, not before I had a total panic attack. *chuckle* Had my meeting on Friday. That went extremely well, except for someone grabbing%2?n0me by the shoulder. (She didn't know that it was hurt so I really didn't hold it against her) I was really pleased by how well it went.. We were there and set up early enough to just sit and take it easy for a while. I didn't have much/ a problem running the meeting either. Plus the Q&A; part went a lot better than the last meetings. :)

I've been such a leech on Kazaa lately... I've gotten quite a few complete Big Finish titles.. *chuckle* I figure once I have most of them, I'll stop. :P

Also, I've discovered a new band... called Apocalyptica. They do orchestrated versions of a lot of really heavy rock songs. I'm impressed... very impressed. :)

Well.. that's about all I can think of to write about.. maybe once my life gets more interesting I'll write more.

Ciao

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Time:	10:16 am.
Mood:	pissed off.

Great.. just wonderful... my ethernet card is burning out.. I need a new one.

How do I know this? Cause, I just talked to my ISP. There's no interference going into my modem, everything is fine on their end but I still get thrown off of everywhere and can't seem to send any attachments.

Bugger... so now I need to get a new card.. how lovely... and I have a HUGE phone bill to pay.. I can't afford it...

I'll figure something out. Until then.. I just have to put up with a crappy connection. :(

Betcha this doesn't get posted either..

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Time:

3:26 pm.

Day One: The cravings aren't all that bad. I'm sure they'll get worse tomorrow. *sigh* Fortunately, I'm sleeping off most of them.. thanks to the damn pain killers for my shoulder.

Saturday I slipped and fell in the snow... broke my damn collar bone. Joy... so, my left arm is quite useless for the next six to eight weeks. Lovely... now, if I can just get the pain to tolerable levels so I can quit taking this pain medication I can stay awake and get some work done.

I always knew that Big Finish was a prolific producer but damn... there's a lot! *chuckle* I doubt I'll find it all on Kazaa but I'll give it a good go!

Ciao!

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Time:	8:38 am.
Mood:	contemplative.
Music:	Kageyama Hironobu - Unmei no Hi ~Tamashii tai Tama.

I briefly spoke with a friend this morning. Poor guy, he's all stressed out about things and being run ragged. Not only is he going to school full time to finish up a degree, but also working and has his own business on the side. I worry about him.. I really do. I just hope he can make it through this next year without completely breaking down.

Added a new friend today! Everyone say howdy to

hermionerhija !!! I don't know how you found me, but thanks for adding me!

It's Valentines Day today... and I'm alone. Bleh... I don't like it. I feel so unloved.. unwanted.. *dramatic sob*

Blert.

=~.~= ;;

Ah heh... yeah, I'm in a strange mood. *chuckle*

I'm going to finish Fortitude today even if it kills me. I may have a little bit of a break before I have to do the last episode so I can probably take that time to update the QDL website and get everything settled with that. Plus I wanted to work on some scripts for the Technomancer series before my life gets busy again and I have no energy to be creative.

Y' know, I'd really like to do this full time but as it is, that's just not a possibility. I did ponder for a while getting a small business grant from the government, nothing much maybe $5,000 - $10,000, to upgrade my equipment and stuff so I can start producing these things professionally. But I don't think I know enough to make a good go of it. I think I'll give it this year and see where I am come the beginning of next. I think that's realistic.. don't you?

I made the mistake of watching the news yesterday.. with everything that's going on down in the States it had me a little tied up in knots. I don't know why though... I guess it's because things seem to be out of my control.. that I never thought something like this could happen in my lifetime.. okay, yeah, there was the Gulf War but that was pretty much over before it ever got started. Can't we as a race make it through a decade without some kind of warfare going on? I guess we just haven't evolved enough yet to try and better ourselves and our world yet.

I look at the conditions that I and my friends live in. Then I look at the pictures of the living conditions in places like Iraq and Saudi Arabia and I know that I couldn't survive there. It seems so... primitive.. to me. Is that wrong? Have we in places like Canada, the US, the UK, Australia, become so complacent in our lives that anything that doesn't conform to our view of civilization is considered to be primitive and just plain wrong? Okay, yeah, there are things that aren't right like the restrictions in Kuwait.. things that restrict the liberties of people and poverty and stuff... but maybe instead of going to war over things like that, can't we just take those billions of war dollars and help them instead of killing them?

Maybe I just don't get how the world works anymore. *sigh*

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Time:	10:08 am.
Mood:	infuriated.

Okay.. I know that it's only been a few minutes since my last post but right now I"m so pissed I can barely think straight!

Saskatchewan schools make no sense. Yesterday was a teachers staff meeting day. A half day. My daughter couldn't remember if it was the morning or afternoon that the meetings were in. So, I let her stay home the entire day. Today, she gets to school (on time I might add) and is pulled out of class to be drilled about why she wasn't there yesterday. She told them. They sent her home.

=O.O=

Someone PLEASE explain to me why they punish a child for missing school by SENDING THEM HOME?!?? It makes absolutely no sense to me.. at all. She's been trying to make a concerted effort to make it to school every day, except for when she's sick or has doc appts. She's trying to get past her depression and work hard. Heck, sometimes instead of spending hours on the puter at night she gets to bed.. EARLY! And she's started reading books... honest to goddess BOOKS!! The school is not helping, at all. All they're doing is singling her out again, making her mad and feel like crap about herself. IT DOESN'T HELP!!! What's the worse thing you can do to a person, especially a teenager, who has depression? Make them feel bad about themselves and their life.

HELLO?!?!?? ARGH!!!!!!

I've gotta get us the hell out of here... fast.

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Time:	9:48 am.
Mood:	creative.

All right.. need more caffeine again. *laugh*

I'm sitting here, having fiddled with the episode I'm supposed to be mixing, staring at my multitrack going: "Oh shit, oh shit...!" *chuckle* You see, I've gotten to a scene ( I'm not going to say what it's about lest something very large and heavy is thrown at me from Australia. If you want to know what it's about you'll just have to go listen when it's released next month! :P) that has lots and lots of action. I'm not talking about your usual run of the mill action either. The actors have done an incredible job acting it out.. now it's up to me to bring the entire scene alive. And I'm scared witless that I can't do it justice. I'm hoping that the music will cover up any screw ups I might do with the sfx.

Now, to all of you of the magickal persuasion out there.. let me give you a little tidbit of advice:

Don't do energy work before you go the sleep.

I did last night and it led to some very interesting dreamscapes. My spirit animal, the cat, showed up in droves. Big ones, little ones, all shapes, sizes and genus. I think it's because I've been pretty much out of it for a while now and tapping back into it got their attention. Do you know how disconcerting it can be to suddenly be inundated by spirits of the feline family? And how many there are? *laugh* But it was comforting in a way, to know that they were still there, watching over me and guiding me. It should be interesting to see who and what else shows up as I move back to building myself up to where I once was.

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Time:	10:29 am.
Mood:	happy.

Well, I just found out that because of certain facts, the table I was offered at WorldCon for free has now been turned into a paid table. *sigh* Which means, I'll have to come up with a heck of a lot of money for it between now and then... Uhmm.. no.. I don't think so. As much of an opportunity it would be for the fan audio and amateur audio community, I can't afford something like that.

So, we'll wait until 2006 for the next WorldCon and I'll plan for the next con season in 2004. It'll give me more time to iron out the details and others a chance to get more stuff produced. Plus it'll also give me time to get the Guild off the ground. *grin*

What is it? Ah... well, right now it's titled: The International Voice Acting and Video Productions Guild

Yeah.. that's a mouthful, I know. *laugh* It's a work in progress actually. I'm still trying to work all the kinks out of the idea and it's not exactly a project I want to take on alone. So, I'm working on it in what little spare time I have right now and looking out for the right person to recruit into helping me. The whole idea has lots of potential, I'll have to admit... I just don't have the time right now to spend on it!

Anyhoo.. gotta get back to it! Ciao!

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Time:	8:05 am.
Mood:	drained.

Another day.. another white hair.

*sigh*

Silly me decided to take a close look at herself in the mirror this morning. Not only did I find two white hairs coming from my temples but I also noticed that my burn scars are really starting to show again. *sigh* Which means I'm going to have to slather on the base until they fade again. I don't know why they do that.. barely visible for months at a time and then suddenly, there they are, plain as day. Y'know, it's bad enough how I got them but dealing with them five years later still is really getting to me. I don't want this constant reminder of what happened.

For those of you who don't know, five years ago, in my stupidity, I accidentally splashed hot grease on my face. Fortunately, it missed my eyes and only gave me second degree burns in places and a wonderful almost third degree on my arm. They would have healed nicely into faded non existance if it hadn't been for the fact that two days later they were exposed to high levels of tear gas as I tried to salvage what was left of my life. (and the medicated salve that was supposed to go on them!) So now, not only do I have to be extremely careful not to expose my face to extreme heat (sunburn) and extreme cold (anything lower than -15C) but also, when my wonderful body chemistry goes out of whack, they show up clear as day.

ARGH!!!

*sigh* And I have a job interview today too and this day is just not starting out right. I'm probably going to be in an irritated mood all day. Bleh.. not good. When I get home I'm probably going to overdose myself on my music and do some writing. I'll finish the edit mixing in the evening. I need to relax.

Speaking of being irritated... last night I made the mistake of approaching someone about writing a leap to be produced as an audio play. He was so tickled that I had asked him, he told a bunch of people, who told another bunch of people and so on and so on.. *grumble* I spent most of the evening fielding IM's from fanfic writers pitching me ideas left and right for leaps. I'm flattered that they think what we've produced so far has been really good, but, geeez... *heavy sigh* My fault.. I didn't tell him NOT to tell anyone. So, I've got to include a writers submission guideline in the update on Wednesday. Plus I've got to figure out someway to pay for the new URL for the site to get rid of all the popups.

*wan smile* Well.. I wanted the play to be popular..

Enough for now. Later!

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Time:	12:38 am.
Mood:	mellow.
Music:	Cyndi Lauper - I Drove All Night.

*sigh* I'm very close to closing down QDL and just concentrating on the vignettes and maybe put out a leap once in a while until we get QLR completed. That might be the best thing to do actually. I know peeps would like that better. Free up my time for lots of other things.

I think I figured out my problem with my Dr. Who script finally. I just need to get a moment to work it out in writing. Once I get that finished, I'm going to start on the Technomancer scripts. I've got some terrific ideas for it that I'd just love to hear. Plus next month I'm going to pull out Phoenix Rising and see if I can't make a decent novel out of it this go round. *chuckle* I can't believe how long I've been working on that.. about.. oh boy.. almost 11 or 12 years now? Dang!

Tomorrow, after my morning meeting, I'm going to finish up what I have left of Fortitude so I can concentrate on the QL chat tomorrow. I missed the last one so I'm really looking forward to this one.

It's late. I should sleep so I can get up early.

Ciao!

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Time:	7:22 pm.
Mood:	drained.

*sigh* Well.. it's official.. QDL is falling apart and I'm not sure how to put it back together again.

Heh.. figures doesn't it? My other radio play stuff is going fine but my project is failing big time. Maybe this is just too big for me... too big for one person to pull off alone. MJ has stepped out of the role of co-producer so I'm doing this all by myself again. Urk... I'll get through this somehow.. I just... *sigh* Maybe I just don't want to do this alone but it's hard to find someone with the same passion as I do for it.

Either I'm going to close it down or do some major rewrites and recast some peeps.

The former would probably free up my time greatly but would hurt big time.. the latter.. I couldn't do until after I finished Fortitude and then the hassle of finding new VA's.

Dammit.. I still have to finish the Lorna script too.. I at least want to get that little piece of silliness done.

Yurgh.. life... never fails.. It goes way up and then comes crashing around my feet again.

They cut my hours at work too. So it's going to be a little longer before I can get back. Looks like summer now.

I'm tired... way tired. I need to do something about this.

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