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LiveJournal for At the end of days, At the end of time..
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| Saturday, October 25th, 2003 |
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I've been up for 26 hours. I woke up at 2am after having only a couple hours of sleep and I'd been up for 24 hours plus then, also. I'm not sure what the fuck is going on with my damn body? Is this fucking insomnia? And I'm supposed to travel four hours to Florida today? Shitty. |
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I should be off to the run down city that is Jacksonville here soon. It'll be great to see my best friend, Jimmy again. Well, I just shaved and looked in the mirror, I have the darkest bags under my eyes, I look like a dead man walking. In all honesty, though, if I could go another minute without sleep in my life, i'd be happy with that. It's just the fact that its fucking up my every day. Grrr. |
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| Tuesday, October 21st, 2003 |
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I had to go through the racial bull shit growing up, and I hated it. I find it disturbing this stupid ignorance still goes in, as mentioned in the press release below. I went to school in Florida, spent one year at that racist school, and luckily moved to the suburbs and didn't have to bus there anymore. I'm hispanic, but I was treated like I was black. ----------------------------------- Associated Press ALBANY, Ga. -- A year after holding their first integrated prom, some students at Taylor County High School have decided to again hold a separate, private party for whites only. While many whites say they still plan to attend next week's integrated prom, the decision to hold the whites-only prom this Friday saddened senior Gerica McCrary, who helped organize last year's dance. "I cried," said McCrary, who is black. "The black juniors said, 'Our prom is open to everyone. If you want to come, come.' " Juniors are in charge of planning the prom each year, and last year they decided to have just one dance -- the first integrated prom in 31 years in the rural Georgia county 150 miles south of Atlanta. Until then, parents and students organized separate proms for whites and blacks after school officials stopped sponsoring dances, in part because they wanted to avoid problems arising from interracial dating. This year, a small number of white juniors decided they wanted a separate prom. The school has 439 students, 232 of them black. McCrary and a white friend passed out fliers informing students of all races that they would be welcome at the May 9 prom at nearby Fort Valley State University. The private prom is Friday night 50 miles away in Columbus. Erin Posey, a white senior, said the entire junior class joined together in hosting last year's prom, but this year's junior class wasn't as unified. "I think a lot of seniors were disappointed," she said. "Now we have to choose between two groups of friends." |
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| Monday, October 20th, 2003 |
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I got a roll of 12 photos back from Walmart and they have some photos from Glendale, Hollywood in California and one of New York - I tried to snap the Statue of Liberty, but only caught the base which wasn't hidden from view, since we were on the highway at the time. The ones from California have shots of a video shoot for Dido's video "White Flag" video - it was for several car scenes on Hollywood Avenu. That was the night my ex bitch roommate  sadisticbeats who moved to O.C. was supposed to come hang out and get a free dinner on me and possibly sell me a chihuahua, but she backed out, like the little dirty bitch that she is. Can you say, bad history?Anyhow, I'll probably put a photo album up again, my last one was inadvertently deleted by a friend who was hosting them. |
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I had a weird dream about a myriad of things, one of them being my brother. He got super mad about something I said, and I told Him: 'Hey, you're just being paranoid.' He then responded with: 'Oh yeah. I'm about to drop a paranoia bomb.' |
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| Sunday, October 19th, 2003 |
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I watched the BBC's translation of Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy - episodes 1 through 3. Douglas Adam's books are a good read, I think alot of people will like his writing style. I only read "So Long And Thanks For All the Fish", but it rocked, and the 3 episodes I watched (filmed in the 70/early 80's possibly) of HitchHiker's Guide rule. I'm not sure if those are all the episodes that were filmed, I wish I knew. Also, I now get the title of the book I've read of his since HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy came first. Oh yeah - the names Trillian and BabelFish come from his books. Radiohead named a song Paranoid Androd after a robot in this book, Trillians a chick who ditched Arthur for an alien at a party six months before the world explodes, and BabelFish is a fish you stick in your ear that translates languages, ha. I don't know why I'm posting this, other than the fact that I found it entertaining. |
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| Saturday, October 18th, 2003 |
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| My heart is drenched in white. | ||
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| Friday, October 17th, 2003 |
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Guess what came in the mail this week?  Hint: One size does not fit all. Nothing a tailor can't fix.  Unless I want to dance like this all night on Halloween.  Yes, my friend, you now have the sight. You are looking at the world without time. The seventh One is Latino, but my Trinity better have a bigger ass. For Halloween, my sister is going as Lara Croft, and Angie is dressing as a cowboy. Where are we going? I have no freaking clue. |
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| Wednesday, October 15th, 2003 |
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| My name is the 104th most common male name in the U.S., that I expected - my first and last name is like John Smith in Latin countries, so my last name comes in 38th place in the U.S.. But my name is also the 2781st common name? What the hell? I'd kill my parents if they did that to me. It's like the boy named Sue thing. | ||||||
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| Tuesday, October 14th, 2003 |
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I did end up calling the number I found as I mentioned in my previous entry, and an operator answered. "Thank you for calling the Women's Center of Jacksonville main office" ... turns out a center for women who have been raped. That worries me. I was expecting maybe a jealous boyfriend telling me never to call again or something, but not this. And ironically, I told my brother about it, and we worried if maybe she was taken advantage of since she has Muscular Dystrophy, a problem where your muscle get weaker and that causes muscle loss. I may never find out, but I hope she's doing alright. |
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Saw Kill Bill over the weekend with my future brother-in-law. It was worth the price of the movie ticket for the opening scene between Vivica and Uma alone, let alone Lucy Liu's speech which reminds me alot of Samuel Jackson's rant to some kids over Mr. Wallace's suitcase in Pulp Fiction - it definitely has a Tarantino feel to it. And I was talking to an AIM chica, about finding people online, and I remember about finding my first real girlfriends phone number with Google. It literally put a little phone icon next to her name like this:  Hey call this chick. (904) 555-6969I just might to say hi. I haven't spoken to her in years. |
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| Saturday, October 11th, 2003 |
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Well, sadly, I don't think I'll be seeing Erinna again. I talked to Andreana Thursday, and since the party was three weeks ago she doesn't remember who Erinna came with; it was some guy in a silver shirt. I just never got around to calling Andy, sigh. She lives in Athens or Savannah anyways, I forget, haha. Wherever Georgia University is... yeah, that place. My DVD+-RWABCDEFG arrived yesterday. This thing burns every type of DVD imaginable, can't wait to try it out and get all of my work backed up to DVD-RW, I'm not sure I trust these 40 gigs lasting past a year. Terry's come up with the most awesome piece of art recently. I seriously want to frame this on my wall!  diversify is her LJ, go check out her beautiful work.
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| Thursday, October 9th, 2003 |
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I'm reading a 'Ladder Theory' which a friend sent to me on relationships between men and women. It's odd I'm running across this now, and alot of it hits home. I would have to say not everyone but a good number of people do follow the patterns in the Ladder Theory for male-female relationships. Here it goes: Men have a Ladder for women. - the higher the position, the more they want to have sex with that woman Women have two Ladders - The Friend Ladder and The Real Ladder: - Guys usually dont know which ladder theyre on. - Sometimes guys on the Friend Ladder, think theyre on the Real Ladder and get kicked off the Friend Ladder in the process. Women and Men Judge how they put each other on these ladders differently: - Women: Attraction: 40%, Money/Power: 50%, Things Women Say They care about but Dont: 10% - Men: Looks 60%, Estimated Chance She'll Put Out Quickly 30%, Other 10% Then there are the hidden variables: - Religion - Drunkeness - Loyalty (to friends dating someone we like) - Desperation Other Rules: If a man finds you attractive you cannot be friends unless: - he's gay - the guy does not find you attractive - the guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder I have to say, it does seem - to me at least - alot of people fall into stereotype given here. I want to say, for the most part I dont, and the girls I like dont, which is true, but either way it's pretty damn scary how true this seems to be. I'll quote a part I find interesting, verbatim: Cuddle Bitches: cuddle bitch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death. First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on criminal. Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing when she's off fucking guys who basically don't care about her like outlaw bikers and band members. So he gets to be the proxy father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is missing at the time. Perhaps the only consolation of this is a ladder jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful indeed.... .... Friends With Benefits: This is the case where you get to sleep with a woman or have some sort of intimate physical relations without any sort of committment. All we can say to this situation is: bravo! This is the optimal condition to be in--with as many women as possible. A lot of people try to use this condition as a criticism of ladder theory, so I'll state again here that this fits perfectly in the framework of ladder theory. A woman has two ladders, but the second one is the 'guys I would have sex with' ladder, NOT the 'relationship ladder.' So 'friends with benefits' is a complete fucking misnomer, since you are not actually 'friends', you are quite more than that. The Ladder Theory only states what makes a woman want to have sex with a man, it does not take the puerile view that women don't want to have sex, or that they have to be somehow tricked into it. If you are a 'friend with benefits', then you are on the Real Ladder. Congratulations. If you get replaced, you haven't been demoted ladders, you have merely been replaced by someone higher than you on the Real Ladder. That being said, usually women are more interested in long-term relationships than men, and consent to this form of relationship because there is ladder disparity in favor of the male. A lot of women say that they are just having sex, they like it as much as men etc... While the second statement is undoubtedly exaggerated, there is no reason to think that women don't want to have sex just as much as men. Which if course only makes it worse if a woman doesn't want to have sex with you. I really think women would have a bigger problem with this theory than men. The guy who put this together is cynical towards women, in that he doesn't think they want intelligence, personality, et cetera, they basically just want a guy that's not boring. Anyhow, that's all I've got. Good night. |
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| Wednesday, October 8th, 2003 |
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Man, I can't believe this story is on The Enquirer of all places. I'm positive a majority of its most likely true as I've read most of it on more respected news sites. It almost makes you want to give Keanu a big hug. To me, it's a reminder that money can't fix everything. ------- All alone at the end of the of the evening And the bright lights have faded to blue I was thinking 'bout a woman who might have Loved me and I never knew You know I've always been a dreamer (spent my life running 'round) And it's so hard to change (Can't seem to settle down) But the dreams I've seen lately Keep on turning out and burning out And turning out the same So put me on a highway And show me a sign And take it to the limit one more time |
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| Saturday, October 4th, 2003 |
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Woo, I met a model yesterday and today we're off to eat chili beans and drink beer. This should be fun. Did I mention she models boat canvases? Totally kidding. She flies back to NY sunday though, so I dont know if I want to start anything serious. I also just woke up and found a dresser that my fam brought over, they bought it from the owner of a local Chocolate Coffee shop. It's pretty sturdy, I just need to repaint the fucker, its got blue moons all over it....gah. Anyhow. My goal today is to get Starr to fart before she goes back to NYC. Haha, she's never going to talk to me again after today. |
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| Friday, October 3rd, 2003 |
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| Boy, do we rock tonight. | ||||
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| Wednesday, October 1st, 2003 |
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I noticed while skipping through a Grisham novel, that alot of what his characters say are 'said' or 'asked'. Tom Clancy, on the other hand, seems to change it up a bit. The thought came to me, since I'm playing with the idea of writing a book, on how my characters should talk: 'Is that a dildo?' John said. 'Why, yes,' Mary said. 'Bark, bark' said Fido, whilst John and Mary got it on. |
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Out of boredom, my current Top Ten Movies. 1. Memento 2. The Matrix 3. Abre Los Ojos ( the movie 'Vanilla Sky is based on, 345x better) 4. Equilibrium 5. Fight Club 6. Y Tu Mama Tambien 7. The Count of Monte Cristo (2002 version) 8. Forrest Gump 9. Snatch 10. Terminator 2 And if i had to pick a chick flick, I'd say Crazy/Beautiful with Kirsten Dunst, because it reminds me of me and my ex of like six on and off years. I'm sure The Matrix Revolutions will jump in there soon, though. Had a really fucked up dream last night. I don't remember much about it, just the tail end, involving me and two friends or followers walking from building to building. Then I was looking at a screen where it was sort of an X-ray of someone I was going to murder. I then stuck a knife in a spot where I thought I'd sever his spinal cord. Then I stuck another in nearly the same spot to stop his heart. Don't ask me. I have no idea. I've been studying for a technical certification. Goal: finish my studying within 14 days. Test soon after. This is my record to indicate I better not fuck that up. And that's all I've got. |
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| Monday, September 29th, 2003 |
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| Okay, I'm over it now, I guess. | ||
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| I'm so pissed, I could fucking choke somebody. | ||||||||
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LiveJournal for At the end of days, At the end of time..
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awake.
aggravated.
contemplative.
blah.