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| Monday, June 10th, 2002 | | 1:42 am |
damn i hate when i have to remember shit...
wednesday night:
greg & i went to the pennant
tina chilled w/ us for a little while too
amethyst was there (w/ a fake ID; she's 19)
danced w/ her a little bit & the band turned out to be pretty good
greg & i went to the diner afterwards
i called my thea when it was all over
thursday night:
billie jo & i were supposed to take the boys & norma to the phillies game
it got rained out & the kids decided they wanted to see a movie
so we got amanda & all decided on spiderman
the kids seemed to like it, but were tired b/c it was a late show
friday night:
i worked 3p till close w/ rita
jess never came to visit that night; ggrrr
not a bad night though; i actually didn't get pissed off that night
got a surprise visit from dawn, angela, theresa, & david
i was glad to see them
saturday night:
i worked 3p till close w/ sue
she was power-trippin'; ggrrr
had kelly, beth, mary, & some guys visit me; yeah...i'm luved
jess finally came in later that night; promisin' to get together w/ me
yeah; sure i can't even get her own the damn phone!
sunday night:
went to church w/ betty, angel, billie jo, & all the kids (except michael)
we took raven & had her dedicated to God; betty bawled her eyed out; aawwww
it was a very special & beautiful day at church
audry stopped by betty & angel's after we got home
it was so nice to see her; she's a special lady
i worked 3p till close again w/ rita
jess actually visited me twice; wow...i guess i should feel special
dawn came in to get the pics from her b-day party that was months ago
one of our regular customers loaned me his tape of the lewis-tyson fight
i can't wait to watch tyson get his ass beat; i hope it's as good as i hear
ok so now i'm online typin' when i gotta get up about 6:30am & it's after 2am
my driver's test in at 9:30am in cherry hill
monday afternoon by the wonderful grace of God i shall have great news to report
i should go now & try to sleep; don't wanna fall asleep at the wheel
g'night/g'mornin' to you all.
take care of yourselves & each other
much luv...from the dawg pound ;) | | Wednesday, June 5th, 2002 | | 5:14 pm |
ggrrr...bored outta my damn mind
ok so i worked all night on tuesday & it wasn't too bad at all. B4 work i went & spent time w/ betty while she was workin' the election poles. melissa was there w/ raven. so i was all happy to see them...got to hold the baby *smile*. at work i got a whole car load of my "fanclub". it was mike, shawn, mary, beth, & kelly. i got my luv from them; hehe. then later jess did finally show up to see me too. i spent most of my wed. in bed even though betty paged me early to remind me to make a doctor's appointment...DAMN I FORGOT TO DO THAT! nobody else has paged me all day. where's the luv; y'all? ggrrrr...i called & left messages for like 3 people & haven't heard anything yet. this is my only fuckin' day off until monday! i wanna go to the club tonight; but haven't heard anything...people suck. the only good news i got is that my new glasses are ready. so rex is supposed to take me tonight to get them...but i can't drive there b/c my car is in the shop gettin' the ac fixed; fuckin' ggrrr. oh well such is life...by the grace of God next week i'll be all good. please Lord guide me to get my license & my car insurance B4 next friday...i don't wanna let the kids down b/c i promised to take them to see scooby doo. with all my non-believin' friends maybe this is not the best place to pray. but i believe that God is with me everyday & it is Him that gets me thru. take care y'all...peace ;)
ok so i just re-read what i wrote above & i had to laugh to myself. reason bein' that on power 99 radio station today they were talkin' about "ghetto christian" churches. well; here i sit prayin' & cussin' in the same journal entry. if that ain't ghetto then i don't know what is; lol. also i'm listenin' to a ja rule album (i luv him). he raps about gangsta shit, murder, drugs, & sex...but he also gives it up to God a lot in his songs. that seems quite ghetto too. but hey the good intentions of givin' props where they're do are still there; lol. ok i'm done ramblin' now...thought y'all might get a kick out of all that. | | Tuesday, June 4th, 2002 | | 12:59 am |
ggrrr...how am i to remember the past week...
last wed. night i did go to the pennant w/ greg, tina , & her greg. we all had fun & i did behave myself this time. except i got really trashed...worse than B4...do to lack of sleep & very minimal eatin' habits in the previous few days. thursday i was supposed to be off but betty begged me to come into work...so i did from 6p till close w/ her. then i worked my usual 3p till close on friday, saturday, & sunday.
thursday night after work i went to mary & mark's place. smoked a bowl w/ mary & then watched 13 ghosts w/ her & the guys. friday night after work i went back to their place; but didn't smoke anything. i brought over mallrats & we watched that. then we made a wawa run (not my store) at like 5am or so. then we started watchin' the original war games wrestlin' ppv on tape from 1987 when WCW was NWA (the first ever national wrestlin' scene). saturday night i stayed at betty's house; so she'd make sure i got up for church. so sunday mornin' i did go to church & i was glad to go b/c it had been way too long since the last time i went. after church angel, betty, amanda, norma, & i went to lunch at the old country buffet B4 betty & i had to go to work. i was so dead tired by sunday.
i didn't talk to my gf all day/night saturday or sunday! we didn't talk until after work on sunday night (like 1am monday). everything is ok though...just such separate lives so far away. it does suck for it to be like that...one day though it will be all good. monday i slept off & on most of the day. i'm still tired as fuck & my damn body hurts so bad! i've been abusin' it so bad anymore...i'm in desperate need of TLC. i had an eye doctor's appointment on monday; i should have new glasses to drive w/ at the end of the week. monday night i went to the mall w/ tina & her greg. spent $$$ i shouldn't have; but fuck it...i gotta spend some b/c i've been pretty good lately; lol. then i watched wrestlin' w/ jason. big news in wrestlin'...the nwo has a new member...i don't even like them; but now i have to re-think b/c i absoultely luv their newest memeber...it's shawn michaels!!! yeah; i luv him & have missed him for so long...it's awesome that he's back on tv involved w/ wrestlin' again. ok so now u non-wrestlin' fans are probably thinkin' i'm a dork. but i'm sure other wrestlin' fans can relate to my happiness...& i don't care anywayz. well i gotta go b/c i'm tired of typin' & there isn't much else to say. there's been some family drama in my house in the past few days but since some of my mom's friends might read this...i'll just leave it alone. ggrrr...let me just say that alcohol is evil & it can ruin a family (i'm not the guilty party). B4 this shit even happened i had been re-thinkin' my gettin' trashed each wednesday. ok so i'm plannin' on hopefully goin' to the pennant again this week. hmmm; i wonder if they sell bottles of water...or maybe i can just go slow & only drink a few instead of poundin' the beers. water would be better; we'll have to see how things go. alright i'm outta here...gotta talk to my gf & go to bed soon. i've got work from 3p till close tuesday night; ggrrr. take care of yourselves & each other. | | Wednesday, May 29th, 2002 | | 8:34 pm |
ok so i slept all day & my friends hate me for bein' able to do so...but fuck it i needed the sleep. i'm waitin' for everybody to finish gettin' ready to go to the club. i just wanna go dammit.
uh; i just got a voicemail...maybe somebody's ready. i gotta go. much luv ;) | | 5:12 am |
what in the blu hell am i doin' awake?!
it'a after 5am & i haven't slept yet. while waitin' for my gf to get home & page me; her friend molly logged on to IM. so molly & i bonded & it was really cool b/c we need to be open w/ each other. she's tryin' to protect thea & i can totally respect that. then my baby did come home & molly put her on the IM. so we've been talkin' for so long online...atleast it saves our phone minutes; lol. i'm now waitin' b/c molly wanted to write an email; so thea had to stop IMin' me for awhile. i'm so tired; but i hate bein' away from my baby that i really don't mind just sittin' here. still in pain though. rollin' fuckin' headaches & shit like that...fuckin' ggrrr! i must sleep if i want to be functionin' for my ever-growin' fanclub today...*sorry baby; i had to write that b/c we were just talkin' about it*. damn; i'm hungry b/c i seriously didn't have much to eat at all yesterday...work was too busy. hmmm...easy mac is callin' me...*go ahead & laugh honey*...ok so now i'm just ramblin' on like a delirious jackass. i wonder how the blink 182/ green day concert went last night. 2 people from my work went.
i for one am lookin' forward to july 12th & 13th. that should be the best weekend of my life! i can't believe i just realized that i haven't told y'all. well; some of you know that july 12th is OZZFEST this year! i'm so partyin' inside the gates this year...as opposed to my "parkin' lot partyin'" last year. i wanna soak up all that is ozzfest in the gates of hell at the tweeter center; lol. then the next night i have a childhood dream come true...as long as my girl nikki actually pulled it off. i have faith in her b/c she has never let me down. i'm goin' to hershey park to see POISON; my fav. glam rock band of all time!!! supposedly we're gettin' tickets to the amusment park & tickets for the concert all free of charge b/c they work for the ex-wife of a cinderella (another band) dude. & to top it all off; one of the girls that's goin' w/ us is springin' for a hotel suite b/c she's obsessed w/ bret michaels (lead singer of poison) & wants to make sure she "prettyz up" for him. this is goin' to be so fuckin' awesome! i can't wait...i was almost moved to tears of happy emotions when wendy & i saw bon jovi in nov. 2000. i will be a complete fuckin' emotional wreck in awe of poison; i just know it. ok B4 the men w/ the straight jackets come after me...i'm goin' to shut up...besides; my baby's back online...yeah me ;) | | 1:34 am |
me, angel, & edna had kind of a rough night at work b/c all our deliveries were big & we didn't have the coverage we normally have on tuesdays. the only person we had was the new girl jessica...who did fine for herself; but tuesdays need experienced "3 to 9 deli people"...wawa talk sorry. in the last 5 minutes B4 closin' we had some excitement when some jerk-off hit his gf upside the head in our store! another male customer went out in the parkin' lot & started yellin' at him...i went out too b/c i thought they might fight & i wanted that mother-fuckers ass beat. all kinds of cops rolled up b/c one of our officers was watchin' us from across the street & saw it all happen. well; ofcourse i called it...the stupid bitch didn't want to press charges & said it was okay that he hit her! i was so fuckin' mad! i said if any man ever hit me; he better be prepared to fight b/c i'm swingin' back...i've already been known to do so in the past. i'll fight a man in a minute...can't stand macho jerk-offs that hit women. i won't even hit a woman i'm with b/c; eventhough i'm a female myself; i'm too much of a "gentleman"...lol...i know that sounds weird; but how else am i supposed to say it? anywayz; let's not talk about this b/c it makes me mad.
beth (one of my "burnt kids")came into my work tonight; so i told her to have kelly (another one) page me when they got home from school tomorrow. i hope she remembers; b/c ofcourse she was burnt; lol. i also told mary (yet another one) when she came into the store. my greg was in tonight too...we are definitely hittin' the pennant tomorrow night. i gotta check up w/ both tina & steph b/c neither of them have gotten back to me. i did ask jeanette (from wawa) if she'd want to go & she said yeah b/c she's never been there. suzy q (from wawa) can't b/c her state trooper husband will probably shoot her if she did. that's okay though...b/c the weekend after this one suzy & i will be workin' nights together. i can usually get her out w/ me after we close. she's so awesome to drink & dance w/...u gotta see it to believe it; LOL. well; i've been sittin' here for a while waitin' for my gf to page me...our phone card is almost outta minutes though....OMG whatever will we do? GGRRR...i really wish she was just here already. it drives me crazy not bein' able to hold her, kiss her, &...hmmm...*wink*. i luv u baby & i miss u terribly when we're not on the phone. i should just shut up now b/c i'm sure nobody else wants to read me gushin' about my gf. till next time y'all...take care of yourselves & each other ;) | | Tuesday, May 28th, 2002 | | 12:40 am |
saturday night i worked until close w/ betty. then at 1:30am greg paged me. i called him back & without hesitation decided to go out...even though i should have slept. he & i were out all mornin' till 5am at balloons night club. then we had breakfast at the diner (ofcourse). by the time he dropped me off home it was after 6am & the sun was up! we had stopped by my wawa so i could say g'mornin' to angel & my boss threw me out...stupid bitch that she is. then on sunday i worked 3p till close again w/ betty. after work i got kidnapped by ginger, stone, jack, & greg (a different one)! we went back to jack & ginger's place & drank some beers. stone had me smoke w/ him a little too. i got mad at him b/c i swear he laced that shit w/ somethin'! he then wouldn't leave me the fuck alone all night! somewhere btwn 6:30 & 7am i woke up & decided to leave b/c i didn't want to be there. i paged my father a few times & then walked to meet up w/ him. i had some food at his place & then he called me a cab to go home.
so after all that on my holiday mornin' i decided to call my gf & then crash for a little while. when i was finally functionin'...i went out w/ my friend jon; who i haven't chilled w/ in months. we went to fred & stacey's house for a little while. & then later went to betty's house. ofcourse we ate there b/c my girl always has great food; LOL. we watched the green mile w/ betty & all her other houseguests. betty went out of her way to abuse me in her own luvin' way & ofcourse so did amanda. aawww; it's been a while...it was nice to feel the luv again; LOL. we left her house at about 10pm & i had jon take me to jason's. so jason & i chilled for a little bit & watched some wrestlin'. tuesday i gotta work 3p till close again...this time w/ edna & angel...yeah fun. not sure how my wednesday & thursday are goin' to work out yet b/c i'm off those 2 days. it sux that betty has to work...i really miss spendin' time w/ her. but; hey we'll have our weekend work schedule again this week....i guess somethin' is better than nothin'. right now i'm waitin' for my gf to get home...she should be soon. i wanna talk to her & then get some sleep. much luv y'all ;) | | Saturday, May 25th, 2002 | | 1:11 am |
the trouble i get into...
ok so tina picked me up on wed. night to go out & i was still comin' off my high...damn that was a lot of good shit; LOL. we picked up her greg & went to the pennant. i started drinkin' B4 i completely came down; so i never fully came down i guess. it was gettin' late & i was startin' to get bummed b/c my greg hadn't paged yet w/ his code to tell me he was on his way. but then he finally did; yeah! so the four of us were all drinkin' & dancin'. the band was pretty good & so was the club music that was played btwn sets. tina & her greg left early; but greg & i stayed till close. i guess i got real fucked up b/c all i remember was lookin' at his cell phone & readin' 2:50am...& then after that is like a blur. apparently what happened was he saw 2 girls together & he pushed me onto them! the 3 of us had our little dance thing goin' on & he just sat back & watched the show! he is so not fuckin' right. so the one girl gives me her # & they asked if i'll be back next week & i said yes. i didn't keep the #; there was really no point in doin' so. well what does greg do next? he gives me the phone to call my gf in cali while were goin' to the diner (big surprise; that's what us jersey people do; LOL). so my dumbass tells her ALL about the club...over & over again at that! ofcourse when i finally got home; i called my baby again & obviously still didn't learn my lesson yet. i am so fuckin' lucky that i have a wonderfully beautiful & understandin' gf b/c she didn't give me shit for it. baby; i'm so sorry...u know that i luv u & that i want to be w/ u...not some cheap slut from the club.
thurs. night i worked 3p till close half the night w/ betty until she went home early & rita took over shift. friday night i worked 3p till close again; this time betty stayed till the end. from 9p till close it was just us 2 & we got hit hard. there was so much work to do at the end; but we did alright. i'm so happy to have her back at work; the place really sux w/ out her. i gave her a bunch of pics today from halloween to melissa's baby shower & a bunch of stuff in btwn. she was really happy to have them; so yeah me...i did a good thing. friday at work kelly & beth (2 of the girlz i got high w/) came into my store. they were like "yo did u have fun chillin' w/ us? we gotta do it again." i told them what happened wed. night at the club & they laughed at me for bein' such a dumbass. beth said "kelly's stayin' at my house tonight & we're goin' to make passionate luv." so i said "make me a video." damn kids all corruptin' me & shit; LOL! i told them to visit me at work this weekend b/c i'll be at wawa the whole time. i hope they do stop in b/c i forgot to tell them that i'd be off on monday & i'd luv it if i could chill w/ them then. well; i gotta go...it's about time to talk to my gf...it's like 1:30am & this is when she said to call. i'm goin' to do a few more things online & then go do that. sorry it took me a few days to post. i was recuperatin' & i was lettin' the heat settle after my actions on wed. take care y'all...peace ;) | | Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002 | | 7:26 pm |
ok so megan made me get outta bed this afternoon & walk w/ her to rita's pizza for food. so we did. along the way we passed by this girl jess. she's this hot young girl that always seems likes she's kinda flirtin' w/ me when she comes to wawa. megan said hi to her; so i was like "damn; you know her?" so we stopped to chat real quick. jess looks at me & says "hey wawa." she's never seen me outside of wawa. today is has in my jnco jeans, wifebeater (big surprise), & black bandanna. she just kinda looked me over & smiled. i told her i's see her over the weekend b/c i'd be at wawa the whole time. megs was like "yeah jess is bi too." i almost fell out...i was like no way! well now after images went thru my mind & megs saw me smilin' she tells me "i think she's 15." i was like OMG; i'm goin' to jail! the thoughts i was havin' were definitely illegal; lol. I felt all gross then...& so when we went to kelly's house to got fuckin' high w/ her & a bunch of other people...megs asked kelly how old jess was & kelly also said 15! they were all bustin' on me about crushin' on her. but then they said that she's got a 24 y/o boyfriend; so it's all good. i just felt yucky though...young girls shouldn't look so good; especially if they're goin to flirt with me. i got so fuckin' high with those kids. i don't know where they get all this weed. the bad part that blew my mind was when kelly's borther came in & demanded some of the weed! to then find out after he toked that he was only 12 y/o! i was so freaked out.
here i am now sittin' her still tryin' to come down. when megs &i; got to my house i called some people i think...i know i did call my baby *& i'm IMin' w/ her right now*. i called my greg to see if he was still goin' w/ tina, me, & her greg to the pennant. some girl answered his phone & said he wasn't there! i don't know what's up w/ that. i'm goin' the fuck out tonight w/ or w/out him i don't care but i didn't expect that. ok i gotta go b/c my gf wants to talk on the phone. grrrr....i'm all twisted & i got so much shit goin at once. it's like been takin' forever to write this. ok hopefully my next post will be about my night at the pennant. | | Tuesday, May 21st, 2002 | | 11:13 pm |
ok so i went out w/ wendy, kayla, nana, & nina today. it was nice to see them & especially to see the babies. but i didn't get much time. i bought lunch for us at the mall & then they brought me home. also; wendy didn't even have the pics she promised me...the lazy, shady bitch that she is!
in a weird turn of events...rex & i spent some time together tonight. i drove the buick to walmart & we walked around for a bit. it was nice to actually spend some quality "daddy/daughter" time with him. he did somethin' really cool...he bought me scooby doo stuff for my car! but; i'm not decoratin' until after i get my license...it will be my treat to myself.
ok so i'm sittin' her all bored b/c i'm lonely. betty didn't want me to come over tonight b/c she was grouchy. she asked about tomorrow night; but i told her i already have plans; ggrrr. we will atleast be spendin' thurs. thru sunday together; but it will be at wawa so it's not the same. i talked to ej & he called cindy to see if we could all get together for coffee b/c we haven't doen that in a while...but there was no answer; ggrrr. he left a message; so we'll see if she calls back later.
so now i guess i'll just sit here & wait for my baby to come home & page me. things are fine btwn us...except the fact that it's killin' me for us to be apart. i miss u baby...i just wanna hold u...& kiss u...&...hmmm...*wink* 'til next time; peace ;) | | Monday, May 20th, 2002 | | 2:10 pm |
my baby called me today & was upset b/c of what i wrote last night. but; she's understandin' of my feelin's. we do need to talk about some things; but we should be fine. she assured me that she luvs me & wants to be w/ me...& ofcourse i still feel the same. i'm just hurt; that's all.
wurpie girl (my cousin wendy) called me today b/c i haven't been returnin' her pages. i apologized & we talked. i was so happy to hear from her...& i could hear kayla in the background. tomorrow she is supposed to call me again & i'm goin' to take her out to lunch. she's got pics to give me from the first time i got to see kayla. i can't wait to see them; especially if they're as good as she says they are. i think that spendin' time w/ wurpie & kayla tomorrow will do me some good.
i was so hopin' that my pager would go off this mornin'...but it didn't. i've missed betty all weekend & she was supposed to page...i hope she is ok. i've got to talk to her & see if maybe tomorrow night i can spend time w/ her. she comes back to work on thursday; but i can't wait that damn long. angel better be at work tonight or i'm goin' to freak out thinkin' something's wrong. anywayz; i gotta bounce. i've got work until 9p & then i'll hopefully be goin' to jason's house. i miss him too ;) | | 2:49 am |
SO FUCKIN' BORED & LONELY
sunday night at work was ok i guess. i clocked out at 9p but then stayed until close to help marsha & rita. fuck it; what else was i goin' to do? ej paged me earlier to say he was gettin' the wrestlin' ppv; yeah for him...i had to miss it again. nobody is around to talk to & i'm fuckin' stressin'. my gf is out drinkin' w/ her ex; who will be spendin' the night again...so i'm not even allowed to talk to my gf! what a jackass am i bein' made out to be? 3000 miles away & i was worried about gettin' home to talk...& i can't even do that; so fuck it whatever. ggrrr...such is life...i hate it so much sometimes...what's my fuckin' point for existin'?
i'm not lookin' to start any shit here or try to get attention. just figured i'd put my feelin's out since that's what a journal is for. but; i'm sure i'll catch hell from many directions for this one. i'm out... | | Sunday, May 19th, 2002 | | 1:29 am |
finally an awesome friday night!
greg & his 2 friends darryl & tom picked me up about 7:30p or so to go to the hatebreed show in philly. we met up with another guy named mike. there were 4 damn bands B4 them; so it lasted so friggin' long. we saw 3 outta those 4. one sucked, a band called god forbid was good, & e-town concrete was better than them. hatebreed put on a great show themselves. by the end of the night i was rockin' hard. when we left after midnight there was a friggin' cold-ass rain storm! we were standin' in it for 10 min.; i was freezin' to death in my wifebeater! i attached myself to mike to get warm while greg went off lookin' for darryl. after we got back to jersey; greg & i met up with tina & her greg at the pennant. mike drove over from philly too b/c he had never been to the pennant & wanted to check it out. i had a fuckin' blast there. i did see bill gale & apologized for missin' his band (tina said they were good). the band that we did see (drop dead sexy) fuckin' rocked. they played a whole mixture of shit that was perfect for me. while there a couple of guys i graduated w/ approached me to say hi...brock vigil & j.j. murphy...they're great guys; i was happy to see them. brock's brother brian was there & we exchanged hellos too. both gregs & tina were laughin' at me b/c i was just dancin' & thrashin' around the whole time while chuggin' yuenglings. the only person who kept up with me was mike. we closed the pennant & then i went to the diner w/ greg & mike for breakfast. while there greg did something really cool...he handed me his cell phone & told me to call my gf in cali! he wanted me to check in since she had paged a couple of times. i thought that was way cool of him. but; then he & mike were mockin' me while i was on the phone w/ her. it was all in good fun though; so i didn't take it to heart & i had to laugh at them. when i got home i called her again & we talked for probably about an hour until i was at the point where i was goin' to pass the fuck out b/c of bein' so exhausted.
so that concludes my friday night; which was finally an awesome one w/ out wawa; lol. sat. night i worked from 3p till close w/ marsha. we had the new girl; melissa, in from 3p till 9p. she didn't do too bad...hopefully the job will start sinkin' into her brain soon. it was kinda a busy night; but not too horrible. i'm just tired as per usual. i got sunday night 3p till 9p; but will probably clock out & then stay to fix up the walk-in b/c it's a fuckin' mess. angel would have a cow; see what happens when she takes the weekend off; lol? we'll see how my night goes i guess. for now i'm just sittin' here waitin' for my gf to get home & page me. i wanna sleep; but not B4 talkin' to her...i hope she gets home soon. baby; i miss u & luv u *hugs & kisses* | | Friday, May 17th, 2002 | | 5:38 pm |
on wed. i worked until 9:30p or so. then i went to the pennant east to see split decision w/ tina, greg (from GA), & greg (from here). it was beat the clock night so they were sellin' cheap-ass miller lite for under a dollar. i got fuckin' wrecked! tina showed herself to be a 2 beer queer; lol. all 4 of us had a good time & the guys got along good. when we had first got there; a guy came up to me & said he went to school w/ me. i had to look really hard at him to realize who he was. it was this kid bill gale who was a 10th grader when i was a senior. but; i had a crush on him back then b/c he was this punk w/ a big mohawk & an anarchist attitude to match. he said his band (loud mouth soup) is playin' this friday (tonight) at the pennant; openin' up for drop dead sexy. greg & i are goin' to see hatebreed perform in philly at the electric factory tonight; but we plan on goin' to the pennant afterwards. we're goin' to miss bill's band; but he said he'd still be there hangin' out. tina & her greg are supposed to go up to the pennant & we'll meet up w/ them later. hopefully i should have a lot of fun tonight.
work was really busy last night & it's becomin' so stressful. but; i had some comic relief do to voicemails betty left to cheer me up. she's feelin' a little better now; thank God. still in a lot of pain though. she comes back to work on thursday & i'm scheduled every night w/ her...so if she's not hurtin' too much; she should be fine. trainin' a new girl at work for the past couple of days. she's like a female version on joe (at work). hey; maybe the 2 of them will like each other (aawww). they're both very sweet; but kinda spaced out & overwhelmed.
i gotta get goin' b/c i wanna check out the website for bill's band & do some other stuff. things seem to still be great w/ me & thea; my cali girl. my mom is bein' way cool about it too; i'm so shocked. hopefully soon thea & i can actually be together...there's a lot to work out though. but baby; i luv u & miss u & we'll figure it out when the time is right...g'night all ;) | | Wednesday, May 15th, 2002 | | 1:41 pm |
believe it or not; things are lookin' up
i went with my mom today to look at the buick. well i liked it & decided to buy it. my mom fronted the $450 (sweet deal). i went to my bank & got her $200; so now i only owe her $250 on the car. tomorrow we're hopin' to go the the dmv (grrr) to get the title changed over to my name. the insurance company called today about my malibu. after all the figurin' they decided on cuttin' me a check for $1777! That money will cover the cost of my '85 buick skylark & also help tremendously w/ car insurance (fuckin' sweet). i'm keepin' the malibu & told my mom that their not takin' it from me b/c i still want to fix it & maybe drive it later. i know rex is goin' to keep it anywayz, but i don't know if he's goin' to fight me on ownin' 2 cars now. my mom even laughed at me b/c she says i'm the only person she knows that doesn't have a license; but has 2 cars already. all i can say is it's about damn time i had some good news on here...don't ya think? wish me luck w/ everything. much luv...i'm out ;) | | 12:43 am |
as per usual...i'm mad about some stuff
ok so i got 3 voicemails earlier in the afternoon on tuesday & i still can't fuckin' check them b/c my pager service has been fucked up from all the storms we've been havin' here in the last 3 days or so! i know one is from thea; but i don't know who the other 2 are from...i hate not gettin' my messages.
i went to lunch today w/ my father & dan. we went to hooters in maple shade & had a great time. i then made them rent & watch "but; i'm a cheerleader" with me. i was so friggin' excited to see it b/c it's probably been about a yr. or so since i last saw it. clea duvall is so fuckin' hot in that movie! dammit i need my own copy of that one...i gotta find it for sale.
my parents came home today & were so loud that i couldn't carry on my phone conversation w/ my gf; grrr! they told me that they went out & put money down on a car for me b/c the insurance guy had come out today & treated me like shit by givin' me a hard time about my car. wed. mornin' i have to get up early & go w/ my mom to see this car (it's an '85 buick skylark) & test drive it myself to see if i like it. she wants me to bring the rest of the money to buy it! ok; so now i have to practically clear out my bank account to buy a fuckin' car since the stupid bitch that hit my car that was givin' to me won't be coughin' up $$$ soon enough! my mom wants me to pay the rest of the price & pay her back her $100 deposit. so there goes all my fuckin' $$$ i was tryin' to save for insurance & to go to california to be w/ my gf! my question is; what happened to me not havin' to pay for my first car? is it my fault that stupid bitch hit my shit while it was parked? no it isn't! so why should i put out my fuckin' $$$? so after buyin' this new one; i won't have any fuckin' $$$...therefore i can't get insurance; so what's the point of havin' the damn car & tryin' to get my license if i'm not goin' to be able to drive anywayz?! i'm so pissed off about this.
i went out w/ tina tonight & we basically drove around. we did go to walmart though. our first stop when we left my house was to go see betty. we only stayed for like 15 minutes tops. i wanted to show betty the pics i got developed last week & i had to check up on her to see for myself how she was doin'. my girl looked wrecked...i felt so bad for her. it's so weird to see her down like that...usually it's from her migraines (which get really horrible for her too). i was glad to finally see her; but it was heartbreakin' too. i hope she recovers well & soon. wed. i have to work from 3p till 9p...tina & i wanna go to the pennant. we told greg (from GA) to go w/ us; but we'll see if he actually does. ok i think i'm goin' to go & try to call my gf b/c it's gettin' late here & i gotta get up early. i miss u baby & i luv u...i'm out ;) | | Monday, May 13th, 2002 | | 11:46 pm |
my monday was kinda fucked up as all my other days are lately. my boss paged me at like 5 somethin' this mornin' to ask me if i'd come in earlier. i said "what the fuck is earlier; do u realize i just went to bed an hour ago?" she said btwn like 11a & 1p...so i said 12 noon...& then showed up at 12:30p. i actually got outta there by 9p on a friggin' monday...so i got to see jason & watch wrestlin'. it's about damn time i got to have our "date" again w/ him. i called my cali baby when i got up & told her what my day was goin' to be. i talked to betty a few times today. when i first called her from work (after the boss left) i almost started cryin' b/c she was in horrible pain & it hurt me to listen to that. later angel called her, let rita talk to her, & then i talked again. she sounded so much better...b/c they were givin' her good drugs *hehe*. in a weird occurence; angel refered to me as betty's other wife! but it was all a joke & it wasn't negative or anything...we had been talkin' to one of our regular customers (steve). he agreed w/ angel about her statement. all i could think was if she only knew it wouldn't be so funny. i offered to stay w/ betty tomorrow night b/c she is supposed to come home then (they wouldn't let her leave today). betty decided that she only wanted me to visit & not stay b/c she needs to adjust herself to bein' home & is goin' to be a real bitch. but she thanked me for the offer.
now here's somethin' that pissed me off...when i got home. there was a note on my bed sayin' that i need to call this guy andy about havin' someone come out to appraise the damage to my car. i asked my mom if i had to be here when they came out & she said yes. i'm so fuckin' mad b/c i was expectin' to make plans w/ my father for lunch on tuesday & now i gotta waste my fuckin' day off sittin' around & waitin' for these jackoffs...who are goin' to come out & tell me that my car's not worth anything! i haven't spent time w/ my father in a really long time & he has been pagin' to say he's got a lot he wants to talk to me about. i was so lookin' forward to actually sittin' down to lunch w/ him & talkin' about everything in both our lives. this fuckin' sux! if these jackoffs ruin my day off i'm goin' to snap on somebody's ass & it's not goin' to be pretty at all. GGGRRRRR...i've got a lot of pent up aggression these days & if pushed just a little further i'm goin' to explode in a violent way...& i really hate to be violent; so that just makes me madder. ofcourse most of y'all know my history...so it's most likely that if i snap i'll take it out on myself b/c i don't like hurtin' other people. just what my body needs; more self-inflicted abuse...like it doesn't get enough already. i'm just so fed up w/ workin' my ass off & tryin' to establish myself when i never seem to make any fuckin' progress! i've noticed that i've been cussin' way too much lately & i apologize for that. i so seriously need to start goin' to church again b/c i'm havin' way too much evilness surface. God & i speak everyday on our own; but i miss the unity of the people in my church. well my pager just went off & i'm hopin' it's my gf...so i'm outta here...g'night my beautiful people ;) | | 2:21 am |
Jerry Springer Show...
ok so it's been a couple few days again & lots of shit has happened; but fuck it i don't feel like writin'. i worked around the clock at fuckin' wawa & then had like no sleep all weekend too! goin' thru so much emotional hell right now that i just hate life at the moment. so many people that i care about right now are just fuckin' my brain...whether they're tryin' to or not & also whether they realize it or not. i have work all week again. tuesday i'm off & i'm already fillin' up my personal schedule w/ things i want to do that day (people i need to spend time w/). friday i'm off too b/c i'm goin' to the hatebreed show in philly w/ greg. the poor man is goin' thru emotional shit too; so we plan on just forgettin' all the bullshit come friday night. ok so i said i don't wanna write & here i am fuckin' writin' shit...just don't feel like goin' into any details of my emotions. here's a brief look at my weekend occurences:
friday night i worked from 3p till close...then had only 2 hrs. of sleep B4 i went in saturday mornin' 6a till 3p. i totally fuckin' freaked out on sat. b/c betty was taken to the hospital & later in the day had to have emergency surgery for her appendix! my fuckin' stomach was in knots & i was completely flippin' out inside until i found out she was ok. i made sure to call her B4 i went out sat. night. & i called her again sunday B4 i went to work. she should hopefully be outta the hospital on monday. went out sat. night w/ ej & like 6 other people. we had a great time for the most part gettin' all trashed at the nugget (hick bar). but apparently i said some shit that pissed ej off & now he's all mad at me (rusty & bruce told me this when they came to see me at work sun. night) anyways; fuck it...i'm not dealin' w/ him bein' such a bitchy drama queen. i worked on sunday from 1p till close. i'm so fuckin' beat & wore out. must get some sleep...so stressed the fuck out anymore...doesn't this always happen? GGGRRRRR...i hate my life sometimes & this is one of those times! | | Friday, May 10th, 2002 | | 2:23 pm |
GGRRRRR...i'm goin' to work soon. gotta work 3p to 12a tonight...then 6a to 3p tomorrow...& then 1p to 12a on sunday. ok so my weekend is goin' to blow! the only good thing will be talkin' to my gf on the phone. i just wish i could be there now. i know there's lots to be resolved first & lots of issues to deal with...but i promise that everything will be better once we're together. well i better get goin' & i'll try not to kill anybody at work. i really hate it here.
"i need a girl to ride, ride, ride.
i need a girl to make my wife.
she's all mine...
i need a girl in my life."
i know how's it feel to want? it hurts...but i'm prayin' that it gets better. | | 12:41 am |
sweeeeeeeeeeet...jason took me to see the spiderman movie thursday night. it fuckin' rocked! i definitely would go see sequels to that one. speakin' of sequels; i've still not seen the scorpion king. & i say i luv the rock; i should be ashamed. gotta see that damn movie. after the movie jason & i went home to watch smackdown (wrestlin'). there were a few good matches, but it was kinda just blah. had lots more fun jokin' back & forth w/ jason & hittin' each other...as we always do. it made me really happy to spend time w/ him b/c i miss all the time we used to spend together. anywayz; y'all should go to see spiderman...it's so worth it. tobey maguire & kirsten dunst are so cute. well i gotta check my mail & call my gf. i miss her too. can't wait to be w/ her...in do time. much luv...mo ;) |
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