Saturday--22nd--11--2003
|
|
13:37
|
|
|
Thursday--20th--11--2003
|
|
03:38
|
[s]in cer[e]tain circumstances, the being almostoutofcloves is good.
being is good as well.
though. unbearably late[ral]. sumtimes ov.
and night....
good night.
|
|
(1 lens |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Wednesday--19th--11--2003
|
|
17:48
|
No more chemistry labs for me again.
Ever.
YAY!
hmmm. manray. haven't been since... late september. sometime. it is time.
|
|
(2 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Tuesday--18th--11--2003
|
|
09:52
|
what do you call this song? scitrance?
no idea.
it's neat though. like zen noise or something.
mwahahahahaha.
---- mood: whoa.
---- music: biosphere and higher intelligence agency - white lightning
|
|
(reflect at this depth)
|
|
Monday--17th--11--2003
|
|
22:53 - [ . H>===a-Lo_0 ]
|
how early can one awaken, she asks. answered with cat curls and sleepy swirls for golden girls. bought spraypaint after sermons on why not.
chemistry of boy is going splendidly. set aside today for chemistry of stereoisomers and alkyne synthesis. wonder which leads me down a path of nonreality the most. both only theory ever. EVER.
and yet the reasons why delineated laid out on a silver colloquium platter. a pretty politely parroting poetry party. but really smart. catch your smirked wit like that last syllable twiched under my tonguecheeked check phrasing. concise. i went to first lecture, returned before the philosophy took over the science.
[that's when i get scared. it's the big secret.]
the mewing feels like egonip,
and drunkeness is too bewildering to keep up much longer. refusal of refuse.
the grad school applications. creeping.
--> back to textbook . goodnight moon. --> .
|
|
(reflect at this depth)
|
|
Friday--14th--11--2003
|
|
03:11
|
|
|
Wednesday--12th--11--2003
|
|
10:56 - ab horrent
|
i'm not particularly satisfied that this doing many crunches every fucking day since.... july(!) is working. yes, there is definitely some hardass layer of muscleness underneath the layer of tummy fat.... but that doesn't cut it.
advice? now that i actually have some sort of discipline i could perhaps move to more strenuous morning routinage.
---- mood: fat.
---- music: a perfect circle - the noose
|
|
(2 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
|
10:16
|
accidentally stuck the happytreefanbrush in my coffee instead of water jar.
this is what i get for trying to paint before having drunk said coffee.
|
|
(2 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
|
01:03 - wow.
|
no one told me. discovered it 5 minutes ago. and it even floated into my email through a non-black cotton source.
Lacuna Coil
(with Dog Fashion Disco and Rubikon)
wednesday, novermber 12 (that's today.)
middle east downstairs
8 pm doors, 9 pm show, $15 door $13 on ticketmaster
freaking driverlisenseless me.
|
|
(4 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Friday--7th--11--2003
|
|
09:55
|
|
|
Wednesday--5th--11--2003
|
|
18:16 - 6.16
|
becoming an insomniac. part 5.
i blame it on the gesso. it's just so, sand paper land raper. what goes white must come brown. bite to bark. the night is off so on seems seaming, i think i'm tripping through sobriety and studying like ripping dew variety and muddying. perhaps the high sensuality of constant reality makes it so. i can't crash precollapse without coiled coitations. it is this[ub]tle, tac[kle]tile, ser[p]en[tin]e. as soon as i clearcoat the red queen.
|
|
(reflect at this depth)
|
|
Tuesday--4th--11--2003
|
|
20:38 - addendum to morning post
|
instead, i had a lecture on chirality today in organic chemistry. it was pretty.
* * * * * *
[k]nots so [k]new:
being told in graphic design to construct a clock as an artifact, not as a visual exposition on the nature of time.... had it's moment in the sun. it's nighttime now. hickor[b]e[n]edic[t]kor[b]ee docked. that mouse ran through, you know.
so many of the friends have absorbed the pervasive palindrome perception. i can only love them so i hope it's bAL[Letd]ancing.
8.38 ...11 minutes less than 11 hours later.
|
|
(reflect at this depth)
|
|
|
09:49
|
crapulus. i missed the "chirality in kant and contemporary physics" colloquium thingy yesterday. i think i was poking at ants in huge colonies with tweezers at the time.
i hate lorena mckennit. i just do. it's becoming apparent. many ex boys like it. but none have convinced me. it's words like "barley." just can't do it.
need. to. get. I D . and [| dna]. dance.
but everything else goes wonderfully. yay cushy statistics. mmmmmm.
9.49.
---- music: lacuna coil - when a dead man walks
|
|
(reflect at this depth)
|
|
Sunday--2nd--11--2003
|
|
19:42
|
sunday hiking in the blue hills reservation. (we could call it church.) yay for the boy's knowledge of such places and how to get to them. fire breathing ground cover, red tears streaming down from tree tops. scrunching and crunching until the city couldn't be heard anymore, soft rain tempesturning rocks seemless blue.
running behind russen up the first hill.
running into a very nice woman that i know. the first time tumbling so hard over heals for fall. her name is summer. we are going in opposite directions.
at the top of a tower on the top of a mountain. boston blanketed blue and quietide by the far far distance, jeramy comfortfaced pure and serenascent by the near near closeness. far and near made real feel here
so what else could a very silly girl like me possibly ask for.
(seductive rice, evidently.)
now back to the study cell... to continue studying cells. of course.
---- mood: ubiquitinated
---- music: mago - enlaced by ropes
|
|
(1 lens |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Saturday--1st--11--2003
|
|
14:13
|
|
|
Friday--31st--10--2003
|
|
09:49
|
wow. i think my computer has a gut parasite.
maybe mono.
.
alan lightman . book signing @ bu barnes and noble : nov. 13 .
^note: favorite author.
[ohmyexcited ]
"In this acausal world, scientists are helpless. Their predictions become postdictions. Their equations become justifications, their logic, illogic. Scientists turn reckless and mutter like gamblers who cannot stop betting. Scientists are buffoons, not because they are rational but because the cosmos is irrational. Or perhaps it is not because the cosmos is irrational but because they are rational. Who can say which, in an acausal world?
In this world, artists are joyous. Unpredictability is the life of their paintings, their music, their novels. They delight in events not forecasted, happenings without explanation, retrospective." . -a l
th e xhaustion of variousin[fection]usludgescalations , mad school work , velourial violet visitation vibrations . . . . exhausted.
but it's that day. and so very awake.
(.ifdesigngovernathingsosmall.)
trying to decide whether to single party, party hop, or party hop / rocky horror. fatigue breeds apathy, he and i share to complify. any ideas of nonIDrequiringevents that i should know about: feel free.
9.49.
---- mood: (.ifdesigngovernathingsosmall.)
---- music: nothing really loudly
|
|
(2 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Wednesday--29th--10--2003
|
|
02:27
|
|
|
Tuesday--28th--10--2003
|
|
08:34
|
|
perhaps i'll have to apply to michigan too. their program's been changed to a 3 year MFA and re-accredited this summer. need safety.
|
|
(1 lens |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Monday--27th--10--2003
|
|
09:35 - up[on]
|
if we're talking hysterical, at least the boring hymns got edited out. the little voice keeps rattling around with whodunits and whereleavits, i'd rather do the leaves up in degener[adi]ate greens until b.u.r.s.t.ing is assu red.
gerald kicks 85,000 types of ass. and that's just how it is. congratulations.
a series of physical klutzy losses and i am suddenly outside the system. no money, no name, no wallet. it feels good. free. sort of glad in a very odd way. little cinders, little challenges. no cigarettes. no concerts. hmmm. and yet content.
dad said he liked jeramy. unfuckingprecedented. good job.
still a little sick. awwwwwwww. whatever.
i sent the samples and transcript to utoronto... now they just have to let me apply. i signed up for the gre. i secured promises for recommendation letters. i think i did well on my orgo exam. i stopped working on (there is no finished here) troy's painting: the red queen's been read, [as]centerfold like sunspots.
subtle. o so.
charlotte and zero are still here visiting. best. such wonderful people and kind friends. what else could you possibly ask for.
[i didn't know i could be this happy. keep it up, world.]
---- mood:  sore
---- music: radiohead - no surprises
|
|
(4 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Wednesday--22nd--10--2003
|
|
16:29
|
|
|
|
10:30
|
wow. simultaneously got my period and a cold yesterday. cramps/migraine meets sneezyachystuffyexhausted. fun fun fun. and just in time for organic chemistry exam -> jeramy's birthday -> dad / charlotte and zero visiting this weekend. eris, you cunt.
i won't be at manray or killing joke, to those of you that i told i would. i lost my driver's license and am broke because had to pay for the gre.
the controllable side of la vie continues to swim beautifully, though. i shouldn't complain.
and there will be marilyn manson tomorrow night after the orgo exam. hehe... and i was worried i wouldn't feel angsty enough to enjoy it. hehe. will stomp prepubescent goths. much excitement.
---- mood: the worst ass that ever assed
---- music: dresden dolls - good day
|
|
(5 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Saturday--18th--10--2003
|
|
04:45
|
4:24.
had a good long fight with the slide scanner today. it was laughing at me the whole time, i swear. but i still won. and all that high resolutionage softly swaddles my aching, bruised body.
---- mood:  exhausted
---- music: mago - sing me to sleep
|
|
(7 lenses |reflect at this depth)
|
|
Friday--17th--10--2003
|
|
01:33
|
thank eris. i was worried there for a while that there were going to be worldseriestypefan[atical]s surrounding my home. the playoffs have been a very loud nightmare.
but there will be no more of that, thank you very much.
i sorta wanted a riot though. i already had mapped out which windows of the bu hotel to throw rocks at.
---- mood:  chipper
---- music: mono no aware - cry of mortals
|
|
(reflect at this depth)
|
|
devious