Saturday, January 11th, 2003
|
|
8:41 am - This is just fucked.
|
|
|
Sunday, January 5th, 2003
|
|
8:07 pm - hehehe
|
So we're sitting here watching TV and the subway commercial comes on where the guy says he lost 240 lbs eating subway sandwiches and how that's a person and a half, so matt says "If 240 lbs is a person and a half, does that mean I'm less than a person because I weigh less than 160 lbs?"
<3<3
current mood:  contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Friday, January 3rd, 2003
|
|
7:51 pm - A poem...
|
Great Goddess
of that, I
doing wrong?
thing ahead... Memories from my every
move. Not
sure but the strong person
in my life had decreased exponentially. But,
if you have a
Mack truck. It had horrible
pneumonia not to Matt.
From ....HERE.... - enter a url and it generates a poem.
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, December 31st, 2002
|
|
5:46 am - Going out without a bang.......
|
I think the multitudes of hours I've been working is finally getting to me. I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck. It might have backed up and run me over again a few times as well. Everything aches, I feel like I have a fever, throat is scratchy, head is pounding, and I'm super congested. Not to mention just massively run down and feeling really blah. I haven't had time to do much of anything other than work for a while. Even with Christmas and such, I put in a lot of extra hours. I just hope that there is some sort of end or at least slow down somewhere in the distance. Before it kills me!!!
There is a winter weather advisory (gee, what else is old these days). Rain, freezing rain, snow, etc. Should be a fun commute this morning. whee.
Oh how I wish I could just crawl back into bed and stay there all day, all night, and all day tomorrow, snuggled under the covers with a book and maybe some hot chocolate and just sleep and sleep and sleep until I can't sleep anymore. *sigh* Not gonna happen.
current mood: sick and run down.....
current music: soft ticking of clock and the tap of the keyboard....
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Wednesday, December 25th, 2002
|
|
5:09 pm - Happy xmas...
|
Christmas so far has been wonderful! I had a nice lazy morning, got up really early and went downstairs and watched weather on a couple of stations and then fell back asleep for a few hours. Later I finally got up and took a shower and then while Matt was in the shower, I started making breakfast. Yummy bacon, sausage, eggs, and toast. YUM!! After we ate, we opened presents. I got some pretty kewl stuff! Matt got me an bawesome Spongebob Squarepants kit for my zip zap!!! It has one car cover with Spongebob and one with Patrick. They are so adorable!!! =)=) I got an awesome lava lamp from Mommy. It's purple! My favorite color!!! =) And Matt, being the most wonderfulest person in the world, got me a new car stereo that plays MP3 cds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm ecstatic! If it weren't some horrendous blizzard, I would probably be outside trying to install it.
I just woke up from a nap, and the weather outside is unbelievable!! It's snowing really hard and I can hear the wind going nuts out there too! This is insane!!!!!!!!!!
Ok.. more later!!!
current mood:  happy
current music: windy windy outside!
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Sunday, December 22nd, 2002
|
|
12:16 pm - *tap* *tap* *tap* Is this thing on????
|
Whoa.. I'm still alive. I knew it had been a while since I posted in here, but I had no idea it had been since the 9th.
"Oops"
I've been really really busy with work since it's not only the end of the quarter, but the end of the year. I also have a ton of stuff to clean up in preparation for taking over California/Pacific Northwest, since Jess has now officially left for Seattle. *sniffle* I'm still sad about that, but trying not to think about being sad.
I have tons to write about I'm sure, but don't really feel much like writing right now. Must go shopping.
More later.
current mood: just woke up.....
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Monday, December 9th, 2002
|
|
6:47 am - *sniffle*
|
What am I doing wrong? What did I do or not do to make things become so not wonderful. No matter what I say, it's the wrong thing to say. No matter what I do, it's the wrong thing to do. I go out of my way to do nice things and in return.....
*sigh* I'm so depressed right now, I shouldn't be going to work. I'm not going to be much good, but I really can't miss work and I really can't stay home either.
*crawls into a hole*
current mood:  sad
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Friday, December 6th, 2002
|
|
8:19 pm
|
|
|
Sunday, December 1st, 2002
|
|
11:27 am - Rebirth....
|
I am worried about my Father and my Grandparents and my Aunt Roz (Uncle Mark's wife). My Grandfather is feeling horribly guilty because he has Waldenstrom's also and has not gotten as sick as Uncle Mark did. He shouldn't feel guilty, but I know he does. I think my Grandmother has the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and she's going to be very upset because Uncle Mark was always her baby. Aunt Roz and Uncle Mark were so wonderful together, Roz is going to be at a loss. And my Father, he's going to have to be the strong one through all of this. He will be the pillar that everyone leans upon for help, guidance, and strength. I know he can do it. He is a very strong person and I know he will be hurting as much as everyone else around him, but not showing it as much. He holds his hurt inside.
It's hard to look at the situation and know that it's probably for the best that Uncle Mark passed on. He was very sick. He had recently been confined to a wheelchair. He had horrible pneumonia not too long ago and then this horrible staph/strep infection. His quality of life had decreased exponentially. But, it probably is for the best. He won't hurt anymore. He died with dignity and spared himself more pain and spared putting those around him through more pain. I think Uncle Mark would have wanted it that way. He was a wonderful man, kind, caring, loving. He will be greatly missed.
I will call my Father today and give him my condolences and much love.
I woke up early this morning, around 7am I think. I took a blanket, pillow, and my book downstairs to the living room to curl up and read. About a minute after I had gotten settled, I looked out the window and saw my 2 baby dear! They are getting so big! Big enough that Mommy is letting them go off to find food on their own. They watched out for each other. Seeing them made some of the sadness wash away. Somewhat of a rebirth, realizing that life goes on and is beautiful. I did manage to get a few pictures of them. I took the pictures through the living room window because I knew opening a door would startle them and the sun wasn't quite up and I didn't want to use a flash.
( Here's a couple pics of the deer if you want to see them...... )
current mood: Feeiling somewhat better today
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Saturday, November 30th, 2002
|
|
7:02 pm - Death knocks upon my door...
|
My Uncle Mark has been sick. He has Waldenstrom's Macroglobulonemia. It's a form of blood cancer, fairly rare. Both he and my Grandfather have it. My Uncle was diagnosed probably a couple of years after my Grandfather, but for some reason, it hit him harder and more quickly. He was recently confined to a wheelchair and now after a bad strep/staph infection, he passed away around noon today. I just got the call from my Mother and then my Sister called. I must call my Dad tomorrow because he's sleeping right now. I also found out that a friend that I used to work for at the daycare I worked at all through High School is dead also. I don't know the details of that, but it makes me very sad too.
I don't think I can go home for the funeral, but I feel like I should and I guess I would like to be there for my Dad. I don't know. I can't think right now. I'm just empty and numb right now.
current mood: empty & numb
current music: Silence
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, November 28th, 2002
|
|
10:19 am - Even newscasters make the occasional freudian slip....
|
|
|
Wednesday, November 27th, 2002
|
|
4:59 pm - Around the world.. around the world... around the world....
|
|
|
Tuesday, November 26th, 2002
|
|
7:29 pm - Art stuff...
|
|
|
Saturday, November 23rd, 2002
|
|
10:33 pm
|
|
|
|
7:39 am - Saturday morning blues.....
|
I got up a little while ago. Took the dog outside and then came in and turned on the tv... "The Pet Shop With Marc Morrone" is on. hahahaha This guy is a hoot! He has a guest on today, but he's still surrounded by a billion animals and has the parrot sitting on his shoulder trying to remove his glasses. *snicker*
Been a very long week. Work has been very busy and crazy and somewhat stressing me out. I was so glad that yesterday was Friday. I can't even begin to explain.
I'm at a loss at home though. I'm not sure what to do or even if I can do anything. I can't do something when I don't even know what to do and I can't figure out what I should do. Quite frustrating. I just want to make it all go away and make it all better.
I still have a list of things I want to write about, but I just haven't wanted to sit down and write after every long day at work.
I do want to say that last Friday night up in Maine was AMAZING! I had an absolutely wonderful time. It was wonderful seeing everyone, I had greatly missed Amy and Chris, was great to see them. I got to spend much time hanging out and talking to Marshall, always a pleasure. Discovered new pastimes with the man like the special Pete. They are my family. They have become a very significant part of my life and I really should see them all more often. But it's like Gregg.. even when we are apart, we are still "together." But I do miss them all quite a bit.
Can't really think of more to write... brain hurts, still feeling blah. Gonna see if there is anything worth watching on tv. Probably not. I'll either go upstairs and get my book, work on some art, or curl up on the couch and take a nap.
current mood:  blah
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
Saturday, November 9th, 2002
|
|
7:45 am - It's an animal planet...
|
I just turned the TV on and it's on FOX because that's what we were watching before bed last night... There's a show on called "The Pet Shop" with Marc Morrone. The guy is talking about water turtles.. he is surrounded by about 6 puppies, ferrets, about 10 parrots, a cockatiel, a lop-eared bunny, a chinchilla, a gopher, a couple kittens, hamsters, and several aquariums (can you tell I'm counting animals while they all wander around?). The whole time he is talking, this beautiful red parrot is sitting on his shoulder and it keeps grabbing his glasses by the arm where it goes over his ear and taking his glasses off. So while he's talking about turtles, the camera is focused on the aquarium. Then there will be pauses and such in his dialog where you can tell he is distracted and the camera will pan up to the parrot, who has completely removed his glasses and is swinging them around the side of the guy's head by the arm.
I'm seriously laughing out loud here... then the puppies are supposed to be in this box that's between him and the aquarium in the front, but they are wandering everywhere, on top of the aquariums, etc. There is one cute little fuzzy white puppy that is on his hind legs trying to climb on top of one of the aquariums and this African Grey parrot is pecking at him.. the parrots sit on top of the aquariums and as all the fuzzy animals go by (they are all walking all over the top of the aquariums), the parrots preen them.
Hahahaha he gave up on the glasses.. the parrot happily has his glasses and he's completely given up trying to get them back from the parrot. I don't think this is supposed to be a comedy, but it's hilarious!! And while I'm sitting here watching this show, Blu is sitting net to me watching the tv, far more absorbed than I am. She's not growling fiercely though. I suppose because they are puppies and they aren't barking.
I have a bunch of stuff I want to write about, but I haven't felt like doing a journal entry this week. I have been writing down things I want to talk about in my notebook. I'll get around to it eventually. Dammit, there was something I wanted to write down right now and I completely lost my thought. That seems to be happening a lot the past few days.. gotta love meds...
More later...
current mood:  awake
current music: Scrubs... gotta love TIVO!!!
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, November 7th, 2002
|
|
8:26 pm - quiz
|
|
|
Monday, November 4th, 2002
|
|
7:57 am - hrmmm...
|
So I decided on the way to work this morning.. if I worked for DHL, the shipping company, I would want to drive the van that said "Bangkok" on the side.
That is all.
current mood: random
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, October 31st, 2002
|
|
7:41 pm - Happy Holloween
|
What better way to celebrate Halloween than to set up the Tivo to record "Bats" starring Lou Diamond Phillips. I can't think of a better way! I shall curl up in bed this weekend and watch it happily! =)
Today sucked at work. I'm having serious issues working under a control freak boss. I get totally screwed because she supervises 4 feasibility specialists, including me. The other 3 NEED/WANT someone to make all the decisions for them. Because I'm an independent thinker and know what I'm doing, I get fucked over. I'm also starting to realize that I wasn't working all the extra hours previously because I had too much work, I was also working them because any time I'm there before 8:30am and after 5:30pm, I had no control freak manager watching my every move. Not to mention, I'm really tired of speaking to my account managers on conference calls and having my manager shove her hand in my face telling me to shut up because she wants to control everything that is said. What is the point of me being a feasibility specialist if I'm not allowed to make any decision for myself?
GRRRRR... I sent an email to my other manager, above her today and he has always said he is there to help and give advice and listen and he never even fucking responded. *sigh* I love my job, I love most of the people I work with, but if this continues, I may have to consider finding another job. *sigh* We all know how impossible that is right now too. So basically I'm stuck and apparently fucked since my other manager seems to want to play completely oblivious to the situation.
We've gotten about 3-4 trick or treaters. I'm guessing that's about it since it's almost 8pm. Oh well.
I'm feeling super drained and somewhat depressed right now. I think I'm going to do some artwork and feel sorry for myself.
blah.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: some show about some psychic on tv...
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Monday, October 28th, 2002
|
|
8:38 pm - blargh-ugh-blech-blah
|
Ugh.. I feel really icky.
I'm really nauseous and I don't know why. I barely choked down half of my mini-pizza for dinner. Even the smell made me nauseous. Blargh. I can't be sick!!!
On top of that, I had an allergic reaction to the triple antibiotic ointment I've been using on my tattoo. It's burning, itchy, and has red bumps all over the tattoo and around the edges, everywhere the ointment was. I tried putting aloe vera gel on it and that made it burn so badly I had to jump in the shower to wash it off. Painful!!! I now have Lubriderm on it thanks to Matt. Hopefully it will feel better because it's quite painful right now.
*sigh*
Work today wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I think working that 14 hour day made a huge difference. It was well worth it. As much as I hate to admit that.
blargh.
current mood: Not feeling well...
current music: Boston Public on TV.
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
|
artistic