I have wound up with an extra ticket to see Travis at the Orpheum this Sunday. They are a great band who I've been following for the last few years since Why Does It Always Rain on Me? became a Delilah snifflesniffle favorite. They put on a good show. If anyone would like to share the Travis experience with me, thirty bucks, please let me know! Otherwise I'll craigslist it.
Current Mood: vicodintastic Current Music: Travis - Flowers in the Window
I made a lot of mistakes today. I forgot things when I went to the grocery store and then I screwed up proportions trying to make cream of wheat tonight because I was panicking over being dumb when I was shopping earlier. After that I was upset and not being practical enough to think on my feet, so dinner was awful and I wouldn't have cared if it was just for me but I was supposed to feed Matt too and so I felt sad and useless, etc., and then i tore one of my stitches while I was eating it, but I think it's okay, it's not bleeding much.
Also today, I sat down for coffee and talking with popkultur, who answered my plea for company this morning. It was reasonably unawkward as far as such things go, so, that part of my day was pretty okay.
Current Mood: blah Current Music: Everclear - Wonderful
Well, the good news: I got a cute haircut. I can smoke again in two hours after two days of nic-fitting twitchiness. The liquid diet has me losing 3-4 lbs. a day... and if I can keep that up for the rest of the week I'll be teh hott in no time flat.
It's hard to tell if my stiches are healing properly or not... I'm hardly in any pain, and the swelling has gone down, so hopefully it won't be detrimental to have a few cigs tonight. I'm going to walk the dog and get some chai now.
It has been 22 hours since my last cigarette, and even the Vicodin isn't making the headache go away. I'm not sure which is worse, the being starving and having to eat nothing but room temperature soup and yogurt, wanting a cigarette and not being able to have one, or the fact that the stiches in my gums make it feel like there's constantly something stuck in my teeth. Yay! Also, I have a whole day to myself and I can't suck on the bottle of Godiva Chocolate Liquor that I have downstairs, because of the Vicodin.
Thank you all for your well-wishing comments and sympathies.
Current Mood: aw, I'm okay underneath it all Current Music: Belle & Sebastian - Beautiful
I am back from my excrutiating dental experience, with my gums cleaned out and stapled back on properly. It hurts. The worst part was either the stitches, or the noises that the scissors made as they were snipping my skin... like cutting thick canvas. OMFG. I can't have a cigarette for two days, and I can't eat solids for a week. The last part is good, because my doctor told me I was a fatty this morning and said I should go on Weight-Watchers, so the V8, applesauce, and cream of wheat diet will do me well.
The best part of LJ is how ominous everything looks in retrospect. I have a miserable habit of reading what-happened one, two, and three years in the past each day. Having archived all of my emails as private LJ entries over the years, reading a day's worth of posts can garner a stunning big picture snapshot of my life at a moment in time. When I'm sad, reviewing all the misrepresentations, dishonesty, disloyalty and empty fucking promises make me sadder. When I'm happy, (and I have been damn happy lately) they just make me riled up with anger and disgust. The pissiness is incredibly cathartic. I yell and swear and glare at my monitor and get all worked up and then look around and laugh at myself... Fuck the world, I win. Smooches.
Current Mood: on fire. Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Good Day
We caught the Matrix Reloaded as an IMAX experience last night, and while obviously IMAX-anything is pretty fucking cool, the film itself was predictably less fulfilling than an expensive prostitute (sexy enough to hold my attention and not necessarily a waste of money, but no character development or intensity and it'll never cross my mind again after leaving the theater). I hated the first one for the same reasons (worst. dialogue. ever.) and this was barely an improvement.
I have very little to complain about these days, and I know it.
My weekend was relaxing and good, and none of the critters have keeled over on my watch (the den mother is out of town this weekend and I'm in charge). The birds are tough customers, but it seems as if they'll still be in one piece (or, in their respective one-pieces, ya know) when Mattison and Adria return.
Today I am having a productive day off. Having done two loads of laundry and all of my hand-washable club clothes, I'm going to run off and get crepes in Harvard Square with laconique. I will then return and do some drawing, and some spreadsheet calculations for work that I didn't get to because I spent eight hours on the LJ drama Friday...
Current Mood: happy Current Music: the bird yelling at the dog to 'fucking christ, go lie down'
This case makes me very sad. They both have LiveJournals, both of which I've read entirely, and he is just a very immature lonely geek who lives with his mom... the girl demonstrates a good deal of intelligence and introspection, and as far as I'm concerned she is more of a grown-up than he is. Many will disagree, but I think the laws that send people like him to jail are wrong.
If you are interested, the man in this case is grinnmn. The woman is podkolenka (her old journals were reowarbaby and helloloser).
I think the thing that is most constructive for me about chatting with folks in the 16-20 age range is that it triggers memories of familiar identity struggles, which forces me to admit to myself that despite my consistent adamancy about my in-born self-identity, I do have an evolution and history emotionally and socially that suggests I may in the future be someone different than I am now.
On Tuesday night I met up with sexyblueduck and his girlfriend, gosci in Brookline. I met Mr. Duck a couple years ago when he was dating a friend of mine, and we've kept tabs on eachother's LJs since then but not met up in real life. So we were all nervous and not sure if we were going to have anything to say to eachother, but it was fine, and now that we've broken the ice we can totally do it again and relax about it next time.
And I had pumpkin spice ice cream at Emac & Bolios and it was really yummy, it tasted just like pumpkin pie.
Which reminds me that it is once again the season for a Bourbon and Apple Pie-athon. Oooh, yeah.
Current Mood: autumnal satisfaction Current Music: Dresden Dolls - Jeep Song
And now, an update on my quest for a great bathing suit. As excited as I was to find a spider webby one, unfortunately it's sheer Speedo and it doesn't employ any of the nifty de-moo-ifying fabricky techniques benefitting modern day pudgitude. So I may end up with this cute simple number, which isn't bad, but I'd seriously like some spooooky bats or something, ya know?
Current Mood: busy Current Music: Freezepop - Summer Boy
I had a fulfilling and happy weekend. How 'bout that.
This week: Really, really busy at work! Next week::Oral Surgery! Haircut! (why the hell doesn't Judy Jetson's have a website? what year is this??) This weekend:: Long Weekend. Wee. Oct. 26::Travis at the Orpheum! Halloween::New Orleans! January::GothCruise!
I'm home pathetically trying to get some room reorg done and I swear have cleaning-attention-deficit-disorder. This is positively my worst lifeskill. I can stand in one place for fifteen minutes and stare at a mess and not have a clue what to do about it. I would really like to get me some of that OCD that so many of you kids with the tidy houses have. Why couldn't my emotional instability be practical, hm? I gotta make a dent in this a'fore Mattalyst comes home or I'm gonna be grounded.
My dinner plans fell through. Who wants the pleasure of my sparkling social graces over moderately priced Cambridge/Somerville restaurant cuisine? Anyone?
Current Mood: procrastinatory. Current Music: Skid Row - I Remember You
I love having the autumn chill in my bones. A sweater and a trenchcoat and I'm still rubbing my hands together to unstiffen them. I feel alive.
My stupid work worrying yesterday was for naught, I didn't actually fuck up after all, I just anxietied myself into thinking that I had. Typical. I'm actually a very bright young lady. Just ask my boss!
Last night Matt and I went to a free Scotch tasting courtesy of Johnnie Walker Corporate Marketing Goons, where I confirmed that Scotch does indeed consistently taste like Listerine to me. Zima plz.
Current Mood: productive Current Music: Lifestyle - Duchess
I took my very last ativan with lunch today, and they are giving me the run-around about getting more, so my calm cool comfy afternoon is twinged with frustration. Ativan works so well, a trickle of ice-water okayness down your spine. I already take a very strong antidepressant, as I have been for ten years, and I don't want them to supplement it with Wellbutrin or another daily med for my anxiety. I only need anxiety meds when I'm actually having anxiety, I'm resisting having my personality squished out by more blanket meds. I only want six ativan a month! You can't get hooked on six pills a month, for crying out loud.
Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Dresden Dolls - Jeep Song
I'm writing poetry no one will ever read. Is that a socially acceptable improvement over talking about what's on my mind? It kind of makes me feel better. Sometimes I email them to musicianfriend who snips them up and makes them into pop songs. It makes my angst smack of productivity.
I'm in a bit of an ache today, but I had a really nice weekend. Perhaps god was laughing at someone else.
Current Mood: above average Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Good Day
Your flashing eyes and sudden smiles are never quite at ease, and neither am I.
So, after breakfast this morning Matt and I ran into Gay Ex-boyfriend, and we all shrugged and yammered for quite a while on the sidewalk in Ball Square. He looks good, and he's still Jay (ya know, talkative, nervous and a little head-in-the-clouds), just without the chainsmoking and pudge (a bit on the too-skinny side with all the weight you've lost... eat a sandwich, hon ::nudge::).
Current Mood: allright Current Music: Pet Shop Boys - Nervously
I am still reeling from seeing the incredibly intense Dresden Dolls show last night; every time I see them, I go home wanting to write. Perfect Fit resonated with me so deeply that I was moved to tears and then dreamed about it; I love this band.
1. I eat a lot when I'm happy. Happy Fat Delilah. Moo.
2. I spent HOURS on Friendster this morning looking up everyone I went to high school with. I'd say about 25% of the folks I remember are on there... it's amazing. I don't give a fuck about 98% percent of them, and I won't be contacting most of them, but it was so cool to find out who else wound up leaving Maine (not many of them) and who's gay (Maine makes gay people too, turns out!).
Current Mood: okay Current Music: Richard Thompson - I Feel So Good
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